If someone doesn’t feel good about themselves, it can be normal for them to look towards others for approval. This can then result in them doing what other people want, or they can try to achieve things.
In their eyes, what they need to feel better will be given to them by people who they know and/or by people who they don’t know. So, although it might not matter who gives them approval, they may have a clear idea about who they want it to come from.
But, regardless of what type of people they want approval from, they might not know a great deal about any of them. Let’s say that they want approval from people who are physically attractive and/or who are famous, it doesn’t mean that these people are more together than others.
In fact, these are likely to be people who have reached a certain level in the status game and/or who look a certain way who are empty human beings. One will then be looking towards people who are, ultimately, no better off than them
A Strong Compulsion
However, due to how they feel about themselves, it can be as if these types of people have what that they themselves need. This will stop them from being able to realise that a lot of these people will be putting on an act.
Thus, behind the image that they present to the world will be a very different person. And, if this mask was to fall off, or if they were to longer receive approval from others, they might soon fall down.
The Bar Has Been Set Low
Fortunately, if one does want to become famous, it won’t be necessary for them to be talented or to even develop a talent. Thanks to reality TV, for instance, one might only need to get naked or to have sex on TV.
If, then, one is happy to objectify themselves in order to raise their profile, they might be good to go. Sure, this will undoubtedly set them up to be put down by a lot of people, but along with this, there will be the approval and attention that comes with it.
It’s Not There
Regardless of what route someone takes to receive approval from others, it will be clear that they are unable to receive approval from themselves. It will then be no different to how one will need to receive food as they are unable to produce food internally.
Looking within for approval is likely to only cause them to feel bad about themselves, which is why they look externally for it. The only option they have then, to feel a better about themselves, is to look towards others to give them what they don’t have within themselves.
Along with the people who are like this, are going to be the people who don’t look towards others for approval. Somehow, they will be able to source approval from within themselves.
It could then be said that someone like this is different to even ‘special’, with this being the reason why they experience life differently. If someone does experience life in this way, it could be how their life has more or less always been.
One way to look at this would be to say that someone like this doesn’t need approval due to what is taking place in their head. Unlike the person who needs approval from others, this person will generally have positive thoughts.
These thoughts will allow them to feel about themselves and, as a result of this, they will experience supportive feelings. With this in mind, the way for someone to let go of the need for approval will be for them to change what is taking place in their head.
Therefore, in the same way that one might update their laptop by downloading software, they will need to update their mind by taking in new software. After this has taken place for a little while, their need for approval will start to subside.
At the same time, one may find that this ends up being a battle, causing them to only get so far. They could end up coming across information that tells that they need to use their will power to push through this stage; if they do, their life will gradually change.
Another way of looking at this would be to say that the reason why someone would need approval from others is due to the being out of touch with their body. Or if they are in touch with their body, what they are not in touch with their true essence.
Either way, the emotional support that is available in their body is not going to be getting through to them. Their mind is then going to be like a lake without water; it will be barren and dry.
To get the water flowing again, and to bring life back into the rest of them, they will need to deal with what is blocking the flow. When it relates to a blocked lake, there can be all kinds of debris that needs to be removed; in the case of a mind that is blocked from the support of the body, it can show that there is trauma that needs to be resolved.
This trauma will be what is stopping them from being able to tap into the emotional support that is within them. As this build up is worked through, the good stuff that is within them will begin to flow up.
The trauma that is within them could have been caused by what they have experienced during their adult years and/or it could go back to what happened at the beginning of their life. If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support.
This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.