On the one hand, there is going to be how someone behaves and, on the other; there is going to be how someone feels on the inside. At times, what is taking place within them will be expressed through how they behave.
An Authentic Human Being
In this case, one is generally not going to put on an act around others. Ultimately, one is going to be in touch with their true-self, with this being made up by their needs, feelings and preferences.
So, when they are around others, there will be no need for them to spend a lot of time thinking about what or what isn’t an acceptable way to behave. They can pay attention to what is going on within them - along with being aware of what is going on around them - and one can then decide how they will behave.
The Present Moment
Through being in touch with their inner world and having the ability to express who they are, it is going to allow them to save a lot of energy. Along with this, it will also stop them from having to experience too much pressure.
The reason for this is that one won’t have to spend an endless amount of time going over how they will behave around people, which is likely reduce the amount of stress that they experience. One is then bound to come into contact with people who can sense how authentic they are.
When another person does appreciate them for being this way, it could show that they are also in touch with their true-self and feel comfortable enough to reveal who they are to others. Then again, it might be a sign that this person wants to experience life in this way.
As a result of this, this person might be aware of who they are but they could find it hard to reveal who they are when they are around others. And, if one is an authentic human being, they are going to be drawn to people who are the same.
The ability that one has to connect to each part of their own being will be what allows them to deeply connect to other people. Talking about what they have done each day or what they want to achieve, for instance, is not going to be as far as it will go.
They will have the need to go much deeper and, this will include talking about how they feel about certain things, looking deeply into life, and their questioning their own motives, amongst other things. One might have been this way for as long as they can remember, or they might not have been this way for very long.
A Different Experience
At other times, what is taking place within someone won’t be expressed through how they behave. How one comes across is then going to be radically different to what is taking place within them.
What this is likely to mean is that one is generally out of touch with their true needs and feelings. This is then why they are able to behave in a way that goes against how they feel at a deeper level.
A Strong Shell
When something like this takes place, someone can come across as strong and create the impression that they have it all together. This may mean that they also have a muscular physique, with this being another way for them to create this impression in others.
Due to how they come across, there could be a number of people who describe them as being “charismatic”. These people could see them as some kind of role model and inspire to be like them.
If this is the case, it could also mean that one has a very successful career. One is then not going to be short of money or have the kind of possessions that are often said to be what someone has if they have ‘made it’.
Nevertheless, while this person can appear to be incredible strong, there is likely to be one area that will give them away, so to speak. If someone was to take a closer look at what their relationships are like, they may soon realise what something isn’t right.
A Shallow Experience
But as one is generally going to be out of touch with their true feelings, this is to be expected. One is then likely to have relationships with others that are surface level and if they do end up in an ‘intimate’ relationship, the other person could be needy and emotionally unstable.
Other people could then question how someone so strong could end up with someone who is so weak. Then again, this could be put down to the fact that ‘opposites attract’.
Yet, if these people were aware of what was taking place within this person at a deeper level, they might realise that this person’s partner is expressing that which one has repressed. The neediness and emotionally instability one person shows is simply a reflection of what the other person has disconnected from.
Taking this into account, the reason one has created such a hard shell around them is because they feel so vulnerable on the inside. And there is a strong chance that this shell was created at a very young age, an age where this was the only thing that they could do to protect themselves.
At this stage in their life, they may have experienced some kind of abuse. There would then have been the fear, terror and anxiety that they went through, and there would have been all of the shame that they experienced.
If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist or a healer. This can be a time when they will be working through layers of trauma.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.