Although there are going to be moments in someone’s life when they will need to be serious, they won’t need to behave in this way all the time. Along with this, one will need to be easy going at times, and at other times, they will need to be firm.
Ultimately, how one will need to behave can all depend on what kind of environment they are in and what the context is. Yet, as they are going to have more than one side to their nature, it is not going to be a challenge for them to adapt and to change their behaviour.
Through being this way, it is going to be a lot easier for them to handle the different challenges that life has to offer and as well as to enjoy the good experiences that come their way. This is not to say that one can’t enjoy a challenge; what it comes down to is that there are going to be moments that are not challenging.
For example, if one was to go for a night out or to have a drink with a friend, it is unlikely to be a challenge. During this time, it will be important for them to be able to relax and to be in the moment.
It probably won’t be necessary for them to behave how they would at work; if they did, they might not be able to embrace the time that they spend together. This is then no different to how one is not always going to wear the same clothes.
The kind of clothes that they wear will also depend on what they are going to do and who they are going to see. This is not simply a case of ‘fitting in’; if it was, then wearing the same clothes all the time would be a sign of strength and defiance.
At times, the clothes they wear will stop them from injuring themselves, and at other times, they will allow them to create the right impression. Therefore, if one wore the same clothes all the time, they would be doing more harm than good.
The Right Tool
So whether it relates to how they behave or the kind of clothes they wear, it will be no different to using the right tool for a job. This will be the same as how one would use a saw to cut a price of wood or a hammer to bang a nail in.
On the one hand, they will realise what kind of tool they need to use, and on the other, the tool that they need will be available. And when it comes to their ability to change their behaviour, it will show that they know how they need to behave and that they have the ability to change their behaviour.
Still, this doesn’t mean that one will just be a chameleon, as this would mean that their behaviour is being completely defined by their environment. If this is what happened, it would show that one has a weak sense of self.
The difference is that one is choosing to change their behaviour, and this means that there may be moments when they don’t want to adapt. Perhaps they are not in the mood, and this will then cause them to come across differently.
What this will show is that one feels safe enough to change their behaviour, and this is why they don’t always need to go along with how other people behave. If this wasn’t the case, then it would be normal for them to be a chameleon.
One will feel as though it is safe for them to exist and this is what will allow them to embrace their true-self. Now, this doesn’t mean that one will be aware of this, as they may have felt this way their whole life.
When one can behave how they want to behave, it is going to make it a lot easier for them to life a fulfilling existence. They will be aware of what their needs are and they will have the ability to fulfil them.
There are then going to be people who have the tendency to behave how other people want them to (or how they think they want them to). This can mean that they will always behave in the same way.
One may generally come across as someone who is only too happy to please others and this is likely to mean they will be easy going. Or, they could always feel down and not show a lot of emotion.
In addition to how they behave, there can also be how well they do in life. One may find that they only feel comfortable staying at certain level and, if they go any higher, it causes them to experience fear and anxiety.
One is then a multifaceted human being, but they act as though they only have one or a few sides to their nature. This is then going to be no different to a builder who only has a few tools; they are not going to be able to do the job properly.
It can then seem as though one is living their life, yet this is not going to be the complete truth. One won’t be able to embrace their needs, and this is going to stop them from being able to life a fulfilling life.
A Closer Look
At a deeper level, this is going to be what feels safe and, unless this changes, one will continue to play a role. What this can show is that they had to play a role in order to survive when they were younger.
If they changed their behaviour it may have caused them to be abused and/or neglected by their caregiver/s. There may have been moments when playing this role didn’t keep them safe either.
These experiences would have caused one to believe that it wasn’t safe for them to pay attention to their own needs and feelings or to exist. Along with the beliefs that were formed during this time, there is also going to be the trauma that they experienced.
If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist or a healer. This can be a time when they will be changing what they believe and releasing the trauma that is within them.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.