When it comes to living ones truth, feeling supported is incredibly important. For if one doesn’t feel supported when comes to their own needs and wants, there is the chance that they will deny them.
This could take place at certain times, or it could be something that has become a way of life for them. And when this is the case, one will be forced to fulfill the needs and wants of other people.
The support will then be there, but it is only there because they are doing what other people want. And so it is not going to be possible for one to feel fulfilled and that they are living their truth.
A Way Of Life
For some people, being supported for who they are will be the only thing they know; their needs and wants will be something they can embrace. At times they will have to go without having them met, but this will be balanced out by the times they are met.
Through this, one is going to feel heard and recognised for who they are. However, it is going to be very different for people who don’t feel supported for who they are. Going without getting their needs and wants met will be a way of life.
So they will be recognised and heard, but not for who they are, it will be for playing a role. This can relate to someone who looks as though they have it all, to someone who has very little.
How something looks is not always how something really is – appearances can be deceiving While it is possible to notice someone who has trouble feeling supported, it is not as easy to notice someone who gives of the impression that they are being supported for who they are.
Each person then appears to be different, but they are both in the same position. One person may experience less approval than the other person does and yet, they are both suffering.
Ideally, one would feel supported for who they are and not for being the person that other people want them to be. This will allow one to live a life that is of their own making and they will be far happier.
When this support is not there, one is going to feel that they don’t have a choice. And that other people are in control of what they can or can’t do in life. By having this perspective, it is not going to be possible for them to experience life differently.
But while it is possible to question this perspective and see that it is not the truth, it is there for a reason; it didn’t just appear out of nowhere. This belief may have been a consequence of the environment that they lived in at one point in their life. And their current environments may validate it.
And because this was how the environment was, they didn’t have the chance to see that life could be different. If there was someone who showed them that it is possible for them to be supported for who they are, this would have given them another perspective.
Without the reference point that would have created another perspective, one’s mind can end up being stuck. And unless one changes the outlook that they have formed on the inside, it won’t be possible for them to experience anything else on the outside.
This can be due to what happened during their childhood years and the kind of care they received. One may have been brought up by caregivers who were only interested in what they wanted and needed and ignored what one wanted and needed.
And as their needs and wants were ignored, they came to see that they could only survive by pleasing others. If they didn’t fulfil their caregiver’s needs, they may have been: abandoned, rejected or harmed, or all three.
To be abandoned at this age would feel like death, and this is because one hasn’t got the ability to regulate their own emotions. Pleasing others ensured their survival, but it also meant they had to lose touch with their true self.
These early experiences would have created certain associations around being supported. There will be the beliefs that that one’s mind created as a result of what took place, and there will be the emotional experience that will have stayed trapped in their body.
When these beliefs are changed and the trapped emotions in one’s body are released, it will be possible for one to gradually feel supported for who they are. A therapist or healer can assist someone in this process.
Not only can they help someone change their beliefs and release their trapped emotions, they can also provide the validation that they didn’t get all those years ago.
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.