One could be in an intimate relationship that is not going well or they could have a friend who is having a destructive affect on their life. Then again, one of their family members could be living in a way that is not healthy or they could be toxic.
Irrespective of who it relates to, one could do what they can to try to change the other person, and this is going to take up a lot of their time and energy. One could believe the other person will soon change.
The First Experience
Perhaps one could have a partner who is abusive or who is simply not a match for them. If they are abusive, it might not be long until they end up feeling burnt out – if they don’t already.
Their relationship won’t be fuelling them and they will be giving a lot to their partner, so it won’t exactly be a surprise if they are in a bad. If they are with someone who is simply not right for them and they are trying to make them right, this is still going to take a lot out of them.
The Second Experience
Maybe one has a friend who is anything but supportive, with this being someone who regularly brings them down. Even if their other relationships are nourishing, this one is still going to undermine them.
For whatever reason, this person won’t be interested in doing what they can to lift them up. This person may have been this way for a little while or they may have ended up this way after something happened to them, for instance.
The Third Experience
If one has a family member who is not taking care of themselves, they could do just about everything they can to make them change how they live. Yet, no matter what they do, it could be thrown back in their face.
It could be even worse, though, as this family member could be directly having a negative effect on their life. They may be verbally abusive or be unwilling to treat them with the respect that they deserve.
Time to Draw the Line
If one was to take a step back and to reflect on what has been going on, the impact that it has had on them, and how long this has been taking place, it could become perfectly clear that they are wasting their time and energy. Ultimately, the other person won’t want to change and, the longer they try to change them, their worse their life will get.
In a way, it will be as if one is choosing to be dragged over a load of sharp objects. This can come to an end at any time up but in order for this to take place, they will need to let go of what they are holding onto.
The time and energy that they are directing towards someone who is undermining them can then be used to build themselves back up and to make their own life better. After stepping back and seeing the big picture, one may find that they are gradually able to move on.
At the same time, they may find that they need a fair amount of external support. If there is no one in their life who can be there for them, and even if there is, they may need to reach out for the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.