While some areas of the planet are far from safe, there are other areas on the planet that are the complete opposite. And due to what the media covers, one can end up coming to the conclusion that the whole world is unsafe.
Now, this doesn’t mean that one’s safety will be guaranteed if they were to live in a certain area; as this is not something that can be guaranteed. It won’t matter where one lives and this is not necessarily because of what human beings can do, it also relates to what nature can do.
But with these two factors in mind, it is clear to see that certain areas of the planet are safer than others. The media often talks about the ‘safest countries’, and while one might not know what countries are on this list, they are likely to know what countries are not on the list.
Closer To Home
And when it comes to where one lives, they could live in an area that is relatively safe. However, just because this is the case, it doesn’t mean that one actually feels safe. This is then going to mean that the outlook they have doesn’t reflect reality.
One may have heard about violence in their area, observed it themselves or even have been the victim of it and yet, these could be exceptions. For the most part, their life could be free from violence or anything else that could cause them to feel unsafe.
As a result of this, one is not going to be able to settle down and to appreciate how safe their current environment is. What is taking place within them and how they are interpreting their internal reality is affecting their ability be present and to see their reality for what it is.
For example, people who accept what the media sells and don’t question what they’re being exposed to can end up creating a dysfunctional view of what is taking place locally and globally. But although the inner model of the world that one has created is inaccurate, it can end up being seen as the ‘truth’.
This can then cause one to feel unsafe and this is not necessarily because the area they live is unsafe, it is because one has allowed the media to define how they perceive reality. The area they live in could be one of the safest places around, but that won’t matter.
There is also the chance that one’s external reality does match up with how they feel. So not only does one feel unsafe, they also live in an area that is not safe. Or if it doesn’t relate to the area, it could relate to a relationship that one is in, the kind of relationships they have and/or what is it like where they work.
What is taking place externally is going to play a part in how one feels on the inside. And at the same time, what is taking place on the inside is going to have an effect on what one experiences on the outside.
Just Below The Surface
So as one doesn’t feel safe, their behaviour is not going to be the same as it would be if they felt safe. It is not going to be possible for one to ‘be themselves’, they’re going to have to be on guard and alert to what is or what may happen.
However, just because one doesn’t feel safe, it doesn’t mean that they’re aware of it. How they feel and how they behave is being defined by the fact they don’t feel safe, but that might be as far as it goes. This doesn’t mean that one lacks intelligence; it could be because this is how they have always experienced life.
And if one doesn’t feel safe, it is likely to be a challenge for them to express who they really are. Instead, one may be like a chameleon and be who other people want them to be or who they think they want them to be.
They might let other people walk all over them and find it a challenge to be assertive and to stand their ground. Their level of success might never change and this is because they only feel safe if they stay under the radar and don’t stand out. Their outlook is ‘if I’m not seen, I will be safe.’
If this doesn’t happen, one can end up going to the other extreme and coming across as someone who has no awareness of other people’s boundaries. They’re more likely to violate another person boundaries; their outlook is ‘if I don’t attack, I will be attacked’.
How they come across is radically different to the first example, but they are two sides of the same coin. Either way, their views of the world are likely to be very similar at a deeper level.
When one doesn’t feel safe, their body is likely to have adapted to how they feel. One may end up being overweight and while they may want to lose this weight, it is the only way they feel safe. Another option is for one to armour their body with muscle; it can then cause them to feel impervious. Just as one might be unable to gain weight; as this would cause them to take up more space.
How Did This Happen?
One may point to something that has happened during their adult life as the reason why they don’t feel safe. And it could be due to what has happened during ones adult years, however, this could be an effect of what took place during their childhood years.
Their mind may have lost touched with what happened and this is normal, but their body still remembers. Fight, flight or freeze is then how their body often responds to life and is rarely, if ever, at peace.
So what happened during these early years has then caused one’s mind to believe that the world is not safe and their body has stayed stuck in survival mode ever since. And as this is what is taking place within them, they have continued to re-create the same experiences and to interpret their life so that is matches their inner experience.
During these formative years, one is likely to have experienced some kind of trauma. This might relate to something that was a one off or something that happened on a regular basis. And while this could have been something significant, it could have been an accumulation of experiences that were fairly minor.
One may have been physically or sexually abused for instance. Or perhaps one received a lack of attunement when they were growing up and ended up being neglected. And this then caused them to fear their fellow human beings.
No matter what has happened, it will be important for one to reach out for support. One doesn’t have to live their life this way and while one could change where they live for instance unless, this might not be enough.
What is going on with within them will need to be dealt with. One may have an emotional built up that needs to be processed for example. So the assistance of a therapist, healer or some kind of support group is likely to be required.
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Oliver J R Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.