Victim Mentality: Do Some People Only Feel Loved When They Act Like A Victim?

When it comes to someone’s self-image, there is the chance that it is having a positive effect on their life. How they see themselves is then going to allow them to feel good about themselves and to fulfil their needs.

Two Parts

What this shows is how much of an effect one’s view of themselves has on their life; it is not something that can simply be overlooked. So, even if one isn’t aware of how they see themselves, it is still going to play a big part in their life.

Whether they believe they are capable of doing something will depend on this, and this is then going to define how they behave. This is why it is often said that it is what is going on within someone that will decide if they fail or succeed, and not on what is going on around them.

Moving Forward
​
Thus, when one’s image of themselves is positive, there is a strong chance that their life is worth living. One may have a fulfilling career, friends who support them and an intimate relationship with the person of their dreams.

This could show that one has had an empowering view of themselves since the beginning of their life, or they might have developed this is their later years. If this is something they have had for most of their life, it could be something that it is just a normal part of their life.

A Different Experience

One is then going to be in a position where they are more or less always expected their life to go in a certain direction, to do well and to be around people who support them. Ultimately, one is not going to be all too familiar with what it is like to experience life differently.

On the other hand, if one hasn’t always experienced life in this way, they could have moments when they think about their life used to be. This could cause them to feel grateful for how their life is.

Low Expectations

If they were to think about how they used to see life, they may find that they didn’t expect anything good to happen to them. One would have had to tolerate what was taking place, and it would then have been a challenge for them to feel good about themselves.

But while one will now see that they didn’t expect anything good to happen to them, this might not have been how they saw things in the past. This may have been seen as just how their life was, as opposed to something they had control over.

Out of Touch

Therefore, regardless of whether one has a positive or a negative self-image, it doesn’t mean that they are aware of it.  How one sees themselves is then going to be the truth, and it won’t be seen as something that is not set in stone.

Now, if one has a positive view of themselves, it is not going to matter if they realise that how they sees themselves is something they have constructed. It is not going to be as if they need to change it.

Powerless

One is going to know that they do have an effect on their environment, and this is going to have a positive effect on their wellbeing. There will be things that they don’t have control over and things that they do have control over.

When one does have a negative view of themselves and they are unable detach from what is taking place within them, it is going to have negative effect on their mental and emotional health. One is not going to see that they have negative beliefs; as far as they are concerned, they have very little, if any, control over their life.

One Outcome

Through being this way, it can set them up to have a victim mentality, and this can have an effect on every area of their life. They may have friends who are supportive, or they could spend time around people who take advantage of them.

But even if they spend around people who treat them well, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to accept their support. Alternatively, one could spend time with people who also believe that they have no effect on their life.

Another Area

One may have a job that they can’t stand, or they might do something that is meaningful and only be able to get so far. So no matter what they do, they are not going to be able to experience true fulfilment.

If they are in an intimate relationship, it is unlikely to be any different to how it is with their friends. This could be someone who treats them badly, or they might not have much of a connection with them.

Acceptance

However, while experiencing life in this way is not going to give them a lot to smile about, it doesn’t mean that it will be all bad. They could be used to having people tell them how unlucky they are and offering them their support.

In fact, one could find that the more problems they have the more attention they receive from others. When this takes place, they could end up feeling good about themselves, and as though these people accept them.

A Deeper Look

What this could show is that one only feels loved when their life is not going very well. If they were to experience life differently, this could be seen as something that will cause them to be rejected by others.

It might be hard for them to understand why they would believe this, but it might soon make sense of they look back on what took place when they were younger. During this time, they might have only received attention from their caregivers when they had a problem.

Awareness

One would then have formed associations around love and having problems, and this would have taken place unconsciously. Experiencing life in this way is causing them to suffer, but it is going to be what feels safe.

If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they might need to work with a therapist or a healer. This will give them the chance to change what is taking place within them and to embrace their personal power.

---

​If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.

• Join my Facebook Page.
• Follow me on Twitter.
• The books I have written.

Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk