If someone is going through a difficult time in their life, they could come to believe that they are being victimised. When this happens, they could end up feeling hopeless, and as though they have no control.
Alternatively, they could look into what is taking place and then look into what they need to do to move forward. As a result, they are likely to feel a sense of control, and this means they are going to have a radically different.
How they feel is going to be effected by how they have interpreted what is taking place. What this shows is that a big part of how someone responds to something depends on the meaning they attach to it.
This is why one person can act as though the world is against them and another can act as though it is just another challenge for them to overcome. While it may take a while for them to move forward, it won’t define them.
Thus, the experiences they have are not going to cause them to disconnect from life; they are still going to be able to embrace life. They could see themselves as someone who is capable of overcoming what life throws at them.
However, if they feel like a victim, it will be a lot harder for them to embrace life. They could feel the need to do everything they can to avoid life; with this being a way for them to stop bad things from taking place.
If they were to look in the mirror, they could see someone who is a victim, and this means it will have become their identity. It might not matter what is taking place in their life, as they could always have the same outlook.
Another way of looking at this would be to say that they are unable to experience life differently. On one hand, experiencing life in this way is causing them to suffer, but on the other hand, it is something they are attached to.
A Brief Experience
When one doesn’t have a victim mentality, it doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t ever feel like one; what it can mean is that they are able to move through this stage. It is then something that arises within them, and then through having the right response, it won’t end up defining them.
There could be times when they are victimised by someone or by a group of people, but they won’t get caught up in what happens. If they can do something about what happened they will, but if they can’t, they might soon move on.
When one sees themselves as a victim, they are only going to be able to see life in one way. It is as if they are wearing glasses that have one filter and people who don’t feel like victims are wearing glasses with another filter
It then won’t matter what other about people say to them, as they are not going to be able to change their outlook. In order for them to do this, they will need to take off their glasses, so to speak.
A Common Experience
If someone was to observe their life for a short time, they might see that not only do they feel like a victim because of their interpretations, they might also see that ‘bad’ things happen to them on a regular basis. Through seeing this, they might be able to empathise with how the other person experiences life.
They could be like a magnet for problems, and no matter where they are or what they do, something bad could happen. It can then be easy to say that they are worse off than others, and this is why they feel like a victim.
If one was to step back from their experience, and to reflect on what is taking place, they may start see that their adult life reminds them of how they experienced life as a child. During these years, they may have been victimised by their caregivers and they wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it.
The years have passes, but they are still seeing life in the same way, and this is why they feel as though they have no control. It could be said that their child self is defining their life, and this part of them is in a bad way.
These early experiences would have stopped them from being able to from boundaries, and this is why they feel as though the world is against then. Through having them, it would allow them to feel as though it is safe them to exist.
By not having them, they feel exposed, and it will be normal for them to believe that other people want to harm them. Other people can then be seen as having control over them; with this being a reflection of how they experienced life as a child.
If one was to look for answers on how to let go of their victim mentality, they might come across information that says they need to change their beliefs. Along with this, they might also be encouraged to change their behaviour.
Through doing this, they will no longer see life in the same way, and it will then be possible for them to experience life differently. However, taking this approach won’t allow one to process the emotional pain they experienced as a child.
This pain won’t disappear by thinking differently or by behaving in new ways; it will need to be processed. As this takes place, one may find that their beliefs and behaviour changes naturally.
The pain within then is likely to relate to their unmet child needs, and one way for this to be processed is through crying. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist and/or a support group.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.