If someone is unable to see that they have an effect on their life, they can have what is often described as a ‘victim mentality’. Other people are then going to being in control of what does or doesn’t happen to them.
Through experiencing life in this way, it is likely to mean that their life won’t be very fulfilling and they could be used to feeling powerless. Along with this, they could spend a fair amount of time feeling frustrated and angry.
In general, one could spend a lot of time thinking about what people are doing to hold them back. They could often think that, if certain people were no longer in their life, their life would be a lot better.
It could go even further, though, as one could think about how good their life would be if they were the only person on this planet. What this would do is allow them to lead a life where no one is trying to hold them back.
If there are people in their life that they are close to, they could tell these people all about their struggles and complain about certain people. They might create the impression that their life is far worse than anyone else’s.
These people could do the same thing, being only too happy to share their stories that go into how bad their life is and how badly they are treated by the world. Their time with these people is going to be anything but uplifting and inspiring, that’s for sure.
A Strong Reaction
If they were to come into contact with someone who is able to look beyond the story that they tell themselves and others, they could end up being consumed by rage. They could say that they lack empathy and compassion.
It won’t matter if this person is trying to assist them by shinning the light on why their life is the way that it is as they won’t be able to actually hear what they have to say. This person will have medicine, yet it will be as if they have poison.
A Strong Attachment
If this takes place, it is likely to show that they are caught up in the identity that they have formed and that they are unable to observe their mind. Until they are able to take a step back and to observe what is taking place, it is unlikely that their life will change.
Detaching from their experience and observing it, just as they would observe a cloud, for instance, would give them the chance to understand why their life is the way that it is. What this comes down to is that one has the ability to both experience life and to observe their experience of life.
The First Realisation
So, let’s say that one started to meditate and this allowed them to gradually detach from their experience, what they may find is that their mind has a strong attachment to experiencing life in this way. Like a dog with a bone, their mind can do everything that it can to hold onto this outlook.
Therefore, if they were to let go of their victim mentality, it would be experienced as death to their mind. Ultimately, this mentality will be what is familiar, and what is familiar is what is classed as what is safe to the mind.
A Big Risk
Having this outlook can allow them to receive a lot of attention and to avoid taking responsibility, but it won’t truly serve them. Still, as their mind is completely attached to this identity, it won’t matter.
This part of them is happy with how things are, even if it means that one will lead to a miserable existence. What this emphasises is how important it is for one to understand the nature of the mind or else they will suffer unnecessarily.
The Next Stage
This will allow them to see that it is not that they are being victimised by others; it is that they are being victimised by their own mind – self-victimisation. Once they can see this, it will be a good idea for them to look into what they believe.
The reason for this is that their beliefs have a big effect on how they experience life. In a way, their beliefs could be seen as the building blocks of their life; if they want their life to change, they will need to change what they believe.
A Closer Look
So, if one has a victim mentality, they may have some, if not all, of the following beliefs:
Not the Truth
These beliefs will shape how they view life and will draw them to situations, circumstances and events that that are in alignment with what they believe. Yet, as one won’t have been aware of this, they would have believed that they were simply an observer of their life and just happened to have certain experiences.
For their life to change, it will be vital for them to question these beliefs, along with the others that are holding them back. This is not something that will happen overnight, of course, but it will be worth the effort.
Additionally, one may be carrying emotional wounds that need to be healed and trauma that needs to be resolved. If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support.
This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.