If someone has the tendency to believe that the world is against them and that they play no part in what takes place in their life, it is likely to show that they have a victim mentality. Through having this outlook, one is going to be nothing more than an observer of their life.
Their life will be controlled by others and there will be very little that they can do to change it. It is then going to be normal for them to feel powerless and this could mean that they often feel angry.
From The Outside
To someone who doesn’t have a victim mentality, it will be clear that this person is playing a big part in how they experience life. It won’t be that they are just observing life; they will be a co-creator of their life.
However, what could come to their mind is that as one is so caught up in what is going on, they are unable to realise this. The antidote will then be for this person to take a step back and to reflect on the part that they are playing.
Now, while stepping back and reflecting would allow one to gradually see that they are not merely a passive observer of their life; they are likely to live in a society that encourages them to hold onto this view. For example, the mainstream media often paints people as victims; there is rarely any attention given to the part that someone’s conscious and unconscious mind has played in an experience that they have had.
One way of looking at this would be to say that the reason that this source does this is to keep as many people as possible in a disempowered state. Naturally, it is a lot easier to control people if they feel powerless.
If one is surrounded by people that also have a similar outlook, and this could be both friends and family, this can help to keep them looked into this way of seeing life. These people will help to validate their way of perceiving life.
Letting go of this outlook could also be seen as something that would cause them to lose the people in their life, giving them another reason to hold onto a way of seeing life that is holding them back. Letting go of this outlook will be in their best interest but it can be seen as being something that is not worth the risk.
And even if one was able to take a step back and to see that they are not a victim, it doesn’t mean that this would be the end of it and that their life would change overnight. Due to what is taking place inside them, they can continue to have moments when they go back into this way of seeing themselves.
This mentality will have permeated every part of their life, so it is to be expected that it won’t just be a case of having a eureka moment and that’s the end of it. Thus, one can see that they are not a victim in one moment, only to see themselves as a victim in the next.
What will have a big effect on how they experience life are the beliefs that they have. Taking this into account, if these beliefs are not brought up the light and questioned, one will continue to have the same experiences and to interpret what happens in the same way.
Along with questioning what they believe, then, they will need to be mindful of how they respond to the experiences that they have. If they notice that they are going into victim mode, they can detach from what is taking place and breathe deeply.
This can take place without them blaming or having a go at themselves; they just need to notice what is taking place. It might even seem as though their mind is addicted to seeing life in this way, which is why it takes effort to experience life differently.
Experiencing life in this way won’t allow them to lead a fulfilling life, but their mind will get something from it. What is familiar is what is safe to the mind, and having a victim mentality will be what is familiar to their mind.
Seeing it through
Having this understanding can make it easier for one to be compassionate towards themselves when they go back into this mode. It will be what their mind craves, so it will take time to phase it out.
The main thing is that they are no longer completely caught up in this outlook and are putting in the effort to gradually remove it from their being. Everything starts with taking the first step, and they will have done that.
Another thing, if one is carrying trauma, it can be a lot harder for them to let go of this mentality. For example, if they were abused as a child, this would have been a time when they were a powerless victim.
When it comes to resolving this trauma or any other type of trauma, one may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.