Nowadays, there appears to be no shortage of people who have been treated badly by others or by an organisation, for instance. TV programs, newspapers, and websites routinely talk about people who have experienced some kind of discrimination.
It doesn’t stop there though, as there are also plenty of websites, articles, and comments on social media sites where people talk about their own experiences of being taken advantage of. Through observing this trend, a number of people have postulated that we now live in a ‘vicitmocracy’.
If someone is used to being treated badly in life, this may be something that primarily affects one area of their life. Perhaps it is hard for them to perform at their best while they are at work, due to how they are treated by others.
This could be somewhere where they are constantly undermined, not only by their colleagues but also by the people who are higher up the ladder. When they are in this environment they can end up feeling angry and full of rage, or they could feel this way after they have experienced fear and anxiety.
However, even if they are only treated badly in this area of their life, it could still cast a cloud over other areas of their life. How they feel in this environment could shape how they feel even when they are not at work.
And, if someone is often treated badly in one area of their life, it is highly likely that this is something that takes place in all areas of their life. Therefore, they could be in a relationship with someone who is abusive in some way.
This person could be verbally, physically and/or emotionally abusive, and this is going to make it hard for them to feel good about themselves. When they talk to their friends or family, they could spend a lot of time going over what their partner is like and how they need to end the relationship.
Conversely, they might not be in a relationship but they may have been with a number of people who were like this in the past. This could be a time when they are taking a break or simply waiting until they find someone who is different.
What is clear is that someone like this is unlikely to feel as though they have a lot of control over their life. They can believe that while other people have the ability to shape their life, this is not an option that is available to them.
It is always going to be a case of when, not if, another person will violate them in some way. Due to how they experience life, there is a strong chance that they will strongly indentify with people who feel oppressed and victimised by the world.
One way of looking at this would be to say that one just happens to experience life in this way and that they are not playing a part in what takes place. One is then a victim and it will be down to them to do what they can to protect themselves.
The fact they this makes them angry and that they push back against what is going on will then show that they don’t want to experience life in this way. Said another way, they are resisting what is taking place.
Another way of looking at this would be to say that although they are consciously resisting what is going on, their unconscious mind is comfortable with what is taking place. But, as they are unaware of what is taking place at a deeper level, it is not possible for them to see what part they are playing in how they experience life.
One can then make out that they don’t want to be a victim, with this being backed up by the fact that they push back against the people who violate them and what they do to try to change their life. Yet, deep within them, there can be a benefit to experiencing life in this way.
What is taking place at a deeper level is then going to be what is creating their life, but as they are not in touch with this part of themselves, it causes them to see themselves a victim. It is then not that they are the ones who are creating a reality where they are continually victimised; it is that they are simply observing a reality where people want to victimise them.
When it comes to what is taking place at a deeper level, this is likely to be an effect of what took place during their early years. This would then have been a time in their life when it wasn’t safe for them to assert themselves and to be an empowered human being.
A Closer Look
At this time in their life, they may have been brought up by at least one caregiver who was abusive in some way. This would have caused them to be violated and undermined, but being treated in this way would have come to be familiar and what is familiar is what is classed as safe to their unconscious mind.
As a result of this, this part of them is only going to feel safe when they are being victimised by others and when they feel powerless. Recreating their early experiences can also be a way for them to resolve these early wounds, and this is something that is known as ‘repetition compulsion’.
So, if someone no longer wants to experience life in is way and they are ready to take responsibility for their own life, they may need to reach out for external support. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.