At the beginning of the year I spoke about a time in my life when I was speaking to Vijay Rana, an integral therapist, about projection. This article was titled,’ “There Is A Reason Why We Project Our Issues Onto Others!”
In this article I said that we also spoke about repetition compulsion but that I would go into that at another time. So, without further ado, I going to talk about the conversation that I had in 2015/16 with Vijay around this topic.
I was talking about an area of my life where I kept experiencing the same outcome over and over again. This was something that was incredibly frustrating, and I ended up feeling powerless and helpless.
It was as though I had no control over what was taking place, which made me feel like a victim. However, while this was taking place within me, another part of me could see that there was a reason why I kept experiencing the same outcome.
It Wasn’t Random
I knew that what was taking place was due to the defence mechanism known as - repetition compulsion. Ultimately, this is what happens when a wounded part of us tries to receive something that it couldn’t receive when it was wounded.
The trouble is that this part of us causes us to recreate what happened all those years ago, thereby preventing us from getting what we actually need. It’s like jumping off a building and getting hurt, and then continually trying to jump off the same building without being hurt.
Vijay basically said that this was a way for us to become aware of our inner wounds but that it was a very painful way of doing it. One way of looking at this would be to say that this is what happens when one of the wounded child parts within us is trying to get its needs met, as facing up to the fact that this is not going to happen would cause this part to experience a lot of pain – another way of looking at it would be to say that this is our psyches way of letting us know what our wounds are so that we can heal them, with this being a way to bring us back to wholeness.
Either way, experiencing the same negative outcome over and over again is what happens when we are not aware of an inner wound. A clear example of this is when someone continually attracts people who are unavailable or abusive, for instance.
This wounded part within us will want to experience a difference outcome, but it will only feel safe with the same outcome it has always experienced. This could be not getting its needs met or being physically harmed.
It will be painful to experience this but, at the same time, it will be what is familiar; and what is familiar is what is safe to the ego mind. Therefore, even though it wants to experience a different outcome, experiencing the same outcome is what will feel comfortable.
What this emphasises is how important self-awareness is when it comes to being able to live a fulfilling life. At a conscious level, we can feel powerless, helpless and as though we are a victim if we continually experience a certain outcome, but, at a deeper level, this can be an outcome that we are comfortable with.
Thus, once these wounds are resolved, our unconscious mind will be able to work with our conscious mind. The inner conflict with then be replaced with an inner harmony, allowing us to create a life that is in alignment with our true-self.
To find out more about Vijay, and what he offers, please go to - http://www.vijayrana.co.uk/
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.