I was thinking the other day about how, over the years, I had heard a number of people say that certain women had “daddy issues”. This was something that was said if a woman blamed all men for everything and hated men, or even if she had the tendency to go for older men.
However, although this is something that is often said, I don’t think it is as common to hear someone say that a man has “mommy issues”. This is not to say that it’s about time that men were criticised, as I think there is enough male bashing in the media as it is.
The reason this caught my attention is because I believe that seeing one gender as having all the problems doesn’t solve anything. At the end of the day, both men and women have their own stuff to deal with.
Making out that only one gender has issues and the other is practically perfect just creates more problems. The only thing that this does is divide men and women, and the only people who benefit from this are the people at the top.
A Clear Sign
Taking this into account, if a man or a woman believes that the opposite sex is the problem, it is likely to show that they have mommy or daddy issues. The reason for this is that our mother and father are usually the people who provide us with our first experiences of men and women.
How these two people treated us and behaved at the beginning of our life is then what shapes our view of men and women. Yet, as this takes place so early on, it can be easy for us to be unaware of the effect that these two people have on our life.
Time Goes By
So, if someone didn’t have a good experience with their mother/father during the beginning of their life, it can then be normal for them to come into contact with men/women who will press their buttons, so to speak. But, due to the amount of time that has passed since this time in their life, they might not realise what is taking place.
As a result of this, they can end up blaming the men/women in their present life for what is going on. They can then see themselves as a victim and these people will be the perpetrators.
Thanks to the fact that men are often demonised by the media and the education system, it can be a lot harder for a woman to own her own issues. No matter what a woman goes through, there will be no reason for her to take responsibility for what happens; the bad behaviour that she has experienced will just be a reflection of what men are like
On the other hand, if a man has issues with a woman, it will be a lot harder for him to say bad things about them in public. Consequently, as it is harder for a man to get away with blaming woman for his problems, it can cause him to look within.
Then again, he might just join a movement that is more underground; where other people will validate what he is going on. If someone really wants to make a difference in the world, it is clear how important it is for them to own what is going on for them.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.