A few days ago I wrote an article title, ‘You Just need To Love Yourself’, and I was going to talk about this article title in the same article. But, I felt that doing so wouldn’t do justice to this important topic.
So, in the same way that people can be told that they just need love themselves, they can also be told that they just need to let go. This is often something that someone can be told when they are in a lot of pain.
Someone may have just experienced a breakup and now they could be experiencing a fair amount of grief. Then again, something in someone’s life may have fallen through, setting them up to feel like a failure.
Yet, regardless of what has taken place or how they feel, they can end up being told that they just need to move on. If they don’t hear these words, they will hear words that are very similar.
A Simple Task
Based on what another person says to them, it will create the impression that letting go is easy. Conversely, they may also be told that while letting go is not always easy, it will be a lot harder to hold onto something.
Therefore, in the same way that one would be able to let go of a ball if they were holding one, they should also be able to let go of the pain that they are in. In both cases, the power of their will will be essential.
However, even though their will will allow them to let go of something physical, it doesn’t mean that the same approach will allow them to let go of the emotional pain that is within them. Instead, the only thing that this can do is to cause them to do disconnect from how they feel.
If they are unable to do this, they could end up feeling bad about themselves for not being able to just let go. The fact that they can’t do this could be seen as a sign that they are incapable or flawed, for instance.
Out of Balance
The whole ‘you just need to let go’ approach can be seen as a sign of how the masculine element has been elevated and the feminine aspect has been cast aside. Part of the masculine involves force and doing, whereas the part of the feminine involves letting go and being.
The irony here is that when someone is encouraged to let go, they are usually being encouraged to do this by force. This is then tantamount to telling someone that they need to take action by just being.
A Different Approach
The feminine way of letting go is something that takes place by surrendering and accepting things as they are, not by trying to force and to change things. This is then a time when one will embrace how they feel and be with their feelings.
One of the ways that the feelings within someone will start to subside is by crying them out. Here, one is not trying to change how they feel; they are simply going with how they feel and allowing their feelings to be experienced.
Trying to approach the emotional realm in the same way as the mental realm is only going to lead to problems. Our thoughts can be cast aside by force, just as physical things can be picked up and moved; emotions, on the other hand, can’t be picked up and cast aside, just as water can’t be picked up and moved.
What can make it difficult for someone to handle their emotions as an adult is if they are carrying trauma from their early years. This trauma would have overwhelmed their system and it may have meant that they didn’t receive the kind of care that they needed in order to develop the ability to handle their emotions.
If this is the case, and someone wants to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.