There will be times when it is possible for someone to know what another person’s needs are and times when it won’t be. That is, of course, unless someone has the ability to read minds; if they do, they will always know.
But, if this ability is put to one side, another person will need to make it clear what their needs are. If they don’t do this, it will be normal for a lot of their needs to go unmet and they might try to do just about everything by themselves.
A Key Ability
When it comes to the needs that someone can pick up on, it can relate to if another person needs emotional support, positive feedback or encouragement, for instance. Through empathising with them – putting themselves in their shoes – they will know what to offer them.
What this means is that if they lacked the ability to empathise with others, they might not even be able to pick up on these needs. Another person would practically need to spell out what they need in order for them to understand.
Perhaps the main reason why someone wouldn’t express their needs directly is that they don’t feel comfortable with them. Nevertheless, even though this is the case, it doesn’t mean that they will be aware of this.
As a result of this, they can end up blaming another person for not knowing what their needs are. This person will just be expected to know what their needs are as opposed to one having to tell them.
It won’t matter how good their ability to empathise is as they simply won’t always know what another person’s needs are. Still, they will be expected to do something that a superhero might do.
By being blamed, they can end feeling angry or even up feeling guilty, which can cause them to do everything that they can to please this person. Either way, it is unlikely to lead to a harmonious and balanced relationship.
A Deeper Look
If someone doesn’t feel comfortable expressing their needs directly and has the tendency to blame others for not being able to pick up on what they need, it could show that their caregivers rarely responded positively to their needs during their early years. This stage of their life would have caused them to believe that there was something inherently wrong with their needs and, if they revealed them, they would be rejected and abandoned.
One would have had to just hope that their needs would be met and experienced a lot of pain through not getting them met. Yet, although they were unable to get their needs met during this stage of their life, this is no longer the case now that they are an adult.
To do this, they will need to look into what they believe when it comes to their own needs and to work through the pain that they experienced all those years ago. This will allow them to realise that there is nothing wrong with their needs and that they can express them directly.
This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.