If one does a lot of reading, they may find that they read a lot about other people’s lives. This could be because they like to find out about how other people experience life, and it could also be a sign that they like to get away from their own life.
There is then the chance that they are highly curious, and this is then just one area where their curiosity is expressed. At the same time, one might not be this way, and they might only be interested in other people’s stories.
If one is trying to get away from their own life, it could come down to the fact that it is not going as they would like it to go. But through reading, it allows them to vicariously experience the kind of life that they would like to lead.
Yet, just because one likes to escape from time to time, it doesn’t mean that their life is not going right. It could simply mean that one just wants to leave their life behind, and reading about someone else allows them to relax.
A Step Back
However, if one was to take a step back, so to speak, they would also see that they have their own story. The only difference is likely to be the fact that one hasn’t shared their story with the world.
If they were to write down what has happened to them up until this point and then to publish it (once it has been edited of course), they may find that it doesn’t do as well as the other books that they have read. Now, while this could show that one hasn’t done anything significant with their life; it may just come down to a lack of exposure.
When it comes to the books that sell and the ones that don’t, it is not that some are good and some are not. What it is likely to come down is the amount of exposure a book has received.
If a lot of people know about a book, there is the chance that it will sell a lot of copies, and it might not matter how good it is. If, on the other hand, it is because one hasn’t done anything significant, it doesn’t mean that their life has to stay this way.
Still, just because one hasn’t done anything significant, it doesn’t mean that they have not lived a fulfilling life up until this point. It could also be said that what is classed as significant and insignificant is subjective.
If one was to look at their own life, there could be a number of things that stand out. Yet if they were to share their story with the world, it might not have much of an effect.
Nevertheless, if one is not happy with their story so far, it doesn’t mean that they can’t do anything about it. One might believe that they have the ability to change it, or they might believe that there is nothing they can do.
Clearly, if one wants to change their life, it will be vital for them to believe that it is possible. As if they don’t have this outlook, there is not much chance of them doing anything about what is taking place.
They will then have to tolerate what is taking place, and this will mean that they will end up suffering unnecessarily. And while they may have people around them who encourage them to do something about their life; this might not be the case.
The people that they surround themselves with could also be in a similar position, and this means that they are not going to be able to give them the support that they need. During their time with them, they could talk about how unlucky they are and how they have no control, amongst other things.
The Other Side
When one believes that they can change their life (or at least part of them is not willing to put up with what is taking place), it will give them the chance to change their life. This is not to say that it will change overnight, but it will allow them to take action.
If only one area of their life is not going as they would like it to go, it might not take them very long. However, if just about every area of their life is not working, it will generally take longer.
One may find that it is only possible for them to achieve a certain level or success, or they might not even get this far. Along with this, they might not be able to experience intimacy, or if they do have an intimate relationship, it might not last for very long.
It could also be a struggle for them to support themselves financially or if they do attract money, it could soon disappear. They may suffer emotionally, and it could be normal for them to feel depressed, worthless and/or to struggle with guilt, for instance.
So regardless of whether one can relate to all of these example or only one of them (or if they are struggling with other things), the next step will be for them to look for answers. This could be a time where they will be told that they need to change what they believe and to alter their behaviour.
Through doing this, it will be possible for them to gradually change their circumstances. On one hand, this might be the case, but on the other hand, it might not be this simple.
If one was able to put their own life to one side and to reflect on how their family experiences life (or experienced life), they may find that they are not the only ones who experience life in this way. Based on this, it could be said that one is not living their own life; they are living someone else’s life.
But if one’s family don’t experience life in this way, it doesn’t mean that these issues started with them, as they may go back even further. What this is likely to show is that one has the need to be loyal to their family, and unless this changes, they will continue to experience life in the same way.
One takes these challenges on out of love and as way to bring balance to the family system, and this generally happens during the beginning of their life. The child part of them is holding on out their need to be loyal, and if they were to live their own life, it would cause them to feel guilty and as though are they betraying the people that gave them life.
If one can relate to this and they no longer want to live someone else’s life, they may need to have a family constellation. Through taking this approach, it will be possible for them to give back what doesn’t belong to them, and this will allow them to create their own story.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.