It is often said that it can be a lot harder for one to have a mental and emotional problem than it can be for them to have a physical problem. And there are a number of reasons as to why this is.
For one thing, if one has something wrong with their inner world, they can feel too ashamed to reach out for support. On the other hand, if they have a physical problem, they might be only too happy to go and see their doctor, for instance. Covered Up In addition to this, what is going on within them can cause them to experience a lot of pain, and the people around them could be oblivious to it. Yet if they have a physical problem, other people could notice what is going on. But even if one had a physical problem and other people didn’t notice it, they could still open up about it. When it comes to a mental and emotional problem, one can feel too ashamed to tell anyone. The Difference What this comes down to is that physical pain is often seen as being far worse than mental and emotional pain. The former is then seen as something that requires the right support, but the latter is something that one can simply move on from. Said another way, physical pain is serious and something that requires the right attention; whereas mental and emotional pain is something that is not serious and can be overlooked. And so if one is suffering on the inside, they come can come to believe that it’s because they are weak, or incapable, for instance. Free Advice If one was to open up to someone, they might be more likely to tell them what to do than to emphasise with them. So instead of being shown the support that they need, they can end up feeling undermined. What this shows is how mental and emotional problems are often seen as being fairly trivial. And through receiving these kinds of responses for others, it can then cause one to keep what is taking place within them to themselves. The Internet Fortunately, even if one is in this position, they can go online and talk to people about what is taking place for them. Along with this, they will be able to read articles and books about what they are going through. And, no matter what they are going through, there is a strong chance that they will find something that will assist them. If one was to describe what they are going through, they could say that they are depressed. A Common Problem This is something that a lot of people experience, but this is not to say that there is only one type of depression. And while one might be depressed from time to time, this could be something that defines their life. This is then going to be something that will last for hours or even days, or it could be something that one experiences more or less all the time. However, even though this is not something that is black and white, it doesn’t mean that one won’t come across information that says otherwise. One Approach One could read about how what is taking place in their mind is causing them to be depressed. Therefore, if one wants to change what is taking place within them, they will need to change their thoughts. There is also the chance that the people in their life have also said that the same thing. If one was to reflect on this, they might wonder if this is actually the case, or they could simply dismiss what they hear. Rumination What is clear is that if one was to spend a lot of time thinking about how bad something is or how they have done something wrong, it is not going to be much of a surprise for them to feel down. And if they have the tendency to do this, they will spend a lot of their life being this way. In this case, if one was to no longer go over things again and again in their mind, it would have a big effect on them. And through having different thoughts, it would allow them to have different feelings. On The Surface So through taking control of their mind and not allowing it to control them, their mental and emotional health will gradually improve. Nevertheless, one could try this and find that it doesn’t work. One could feel as though it is more about how they feel than it is about what is taking place in their mind. It is often said that one’s thoughts create their feelings, but this is nothing more than a half-truth. Going Deeper What this comes down to is that one can carry feelings in their body, and this means that their thoughts can also trigger feelings that are already within them. Thus, if one wants to change how they feel and the thoughts that appear in their mind, they may need to let go of the pain that is trapped in their body. As if they are carrying pain their body, it will naturally be a waste of time for them to focus on their mind. What is taking place in the body is often overlooked into today’s world, and this is partly because it can be very painful to get in touch with this part of ourselves. Another Part Along with what is taking place in their mind and body, there will also be the effect their brain is having on how they feel. If one is generally overwhelmed by what is taking place within them, it could show that their brain is not working as it should. This could be the result of what took place when they were younger; perhaps this was a time when they were abused and/or neglected. And if one is carrying a lot of pain in their body, it can also be due to the same reason. Awareness Ergo, the approach that one will need to take to experience life differently is going to depend on a number of different factors. If one is experiencing life in this way due to what is taking place in their mind, then they might need to develop the ability to detach from what is taking place within them, and this can take place through practicing mindfulness meditation. But if one is carrying trauma in their body, they might need to work with a therapist or a healer, and this will allow them to let go of this pain. Yet if one’s brain is not working in the right way, they might need to try Neurofeedback.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Although one can have the desire to be in a relationship, it doesn’t mean that this will actually take place. Instead, they could find it incredibly difficult to find someone to share their life with.
As a result of this, this area of their life could end up overshadowing just about every other area of their life. This comes down to the fact that they will spend a lot of time thinking about why their life is the way it is. Two Parts It is then going to be normal for their attention to be taken away from other areas of their life. But while one can spend a lot of time thinking about this, they can also end up being overwhelmed by pain. In fact, one could spend far more time going over how they feel than they do thinking about why their life is the way it is. What this can then do is to cause one to see themselves as a victim. Looking Back If one was to look back on what has taken place in this area of their life, they may find that they only get so far. So perhaps they have been on dates with people, but that this is as far as it goes. This is not to say that they haven’t been on a date that has gone well, as this is unlikely to be the case. Yet, even if they have had a number of dates that were successful, it wouldn’t have been possible for them to take things further. Another Angle When it comes to how they behaved, they may find that they were able to be themselves. At the same time, they may see that they ended up putting on an act each time, and that their true-self was covered up. Or, they may have been moments when they showed up and moments when someone else appeared. Either way, as it didn’t allow them to go to the nest stage, it wouldn’t have mattered. One Step Further Alternatively, one may find that there has been at least one occasion when they were able to go further. This could mean that they had a few more dates and then it came to an end, or they might have ended up in a relationship. If they did end up in a relationship, they may have found that their behaviour started to change. In the beginning, they may have been able to be themselves, and then as time passed, they might have turned into a people pleaser. Erosion Through changing their behaviour, it may have gradually pushed the other person away. Either consciously or unconsciously, the other person would have realised that something wasn’t right, and this would have changed how they felt. However, if one wasn’t aware of what part they were playing in all this, they could have blamed the other person. This might have resulted in them feeling powerless, and as though they had no control. Stepping Back If one was able to take a step back from what they have experienced up until this point and to get in touch with what is taking place within them, it might allow then to see why they are experiencing life his way. During this time, they may find that they believe that they are not enough for the opposite sex. So regardless of whether they are a man or woman, they are still going to have the same outlook. Men/women are going to be seen as being superior, and it won’t matter what they do. The Truth Even so, this doesn’t mean that one hasn’t tried to change what they believe. There is the chance that they have put a lot of effort into their appearance over the years; with this being seen as a way for them to increase their value. Along with this, they may have put a lot effort into achieving things, and this could mean that they are doing well in their career. Nevertheless, what they have done won’t have allowed them to change what they believe. Feedback If one was to open up to the people they spend time with, they might find it hard to understand why they believe this. This is because one could be seen as someone who has everything going for them. One could be told that there is nothing wrong with them, and that they need to let go of what they believe, for instance. But if one is not in a good position in life, these people could tell them that they need to work on their self-esteem. One Approach If hasn’t done anything to change what is taking place within them, they could end up trying to develop their self-esteem. Through doing this, they may find that they no longer feel less-than the opposite sex. But there is also the chance that this won’t work, and one might have tried this approach in the past. It is then not going to be enough for them to simply focus on their mind; they will need to get in touch with what is taking place in their body. Going Deeper If they were to get in touch with their body, they may find that they are carrying toxic shame. This is then going to cause them to feel as though they are completely worthless, and this will be something that has permeated their whole being. In order for one embrace their inherent value, they will need to let go of how they feel. And the reason they feel this way is likely to be due to what took place when they were younger. Awareness This may have been a time where they were abused and/or neglected, and this would have stopped them from being able to develop in the right way. Ultimately, there is nothing inherently wrong with who they are. If one can relate to this and they want to change their life, they may need to work with a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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