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If someone’s mind and emotions were settled and they felt at peace, they may wonder what it would be like to experience life in this way more often. Then again, thanks to how rarely they experience life in this way, they could be totally consumed by what is taking place.
Perhaps they have taken the time to be in nature or maybe they have had something to drink, for instance. Regardless of what it is that has allowed them to have a different inner experience, it will be a welcome relief from how they usually experience life. The Norm If they were to think about how long they have been this way for, they may find that they have been this way for as long as they can remember. Consequently, this could just be seen as what they are like. They may even believe that they were born this way, with it being part of their personality. Further, some of the people in their life could often describe them as being ‘highly strung’ or ‘a very anxious person’. An Exhausting Existence Whether they are at work or with friends, they could find it hard to feel at ease and, as they are typically not on stable ground, it probably won’t take a lot for them to overreact. Another person could say or do something and one could end up losing it. What other people are exposed to will merely be an expression of what is taking place inside them. To look at this symbolically; their external eruptions will be an externalisation of the internal irruptions that are continually taking place. Two Worlds So, there can be what happens when one is around others and there can be what takes place when they are way from others and are online. Just as what someone says in the real world can often cause them to react strongly; what someone says online can often lead to the same outcome. In both cases, it might not take a lot for them to become highly emotional and to lose their ability to think rationally. When this happens, they could create the impression that they are missing something. One Big Challenge Being this way will make it hard for them to focus and they will experience a lot of unnecessary drama, in addition to generally being all at sea internally. Thus, so much of their precious energy and time is going to be squandered. Still, there may be moments when they think that they are doing the right thing by getting worked up. At times, they might be, but there will probably be times when behaving in this way is not serving them. One Outlook One way of looking at this would be to say that they need to gain control of their mind and to develop ‘emotional intelligence’. Through doing this, they will settle down and be able to manage their emotions. This will be based on the belief the mind defines how someone feels and emotional intelligence is an important part of having emotional control. However, what this approach would overlook is the fact that one most likely spends so much time in fight or flight mode because they are carrying trauma. Going Deeper This means that what is taking place at a mental and emotional level will be a reflection of what is taking place at an instinctual or animal body level. Their body and mind will carry the charge or all of the energy that they experienced when they experienced trauma. Dealing with what is going on further up might lead to short-term relief, but it probably won’t lead to long-term relief. As they are carrying all this trauma, their reptile brain will often end up overriding their emotional and thinking brain, which will stop them from being able to experience emotional control and to think clearly. Out of Control When this takes place, it will seem as though something else is in control of them as they will lose their free will. For them to settle down and to gradually gain control over themselves, they will need to work through the trauma that is inside them. The big question is: why are they carrying this trauma, what happened to them? What this may illustrate is that their early years were anything but nurturing, with this being a stage of their life when they were abused and/or neglected on a regular basis. A Living Hell The safety and security that they needed at this time wouldn’t have been provided. Instead, they would have had to handle a deeply challenging environment at a time when they were ill-equipped to do so. They would have often felt overwhelmed and there might not have been anywhere around to soothe them. At this stage of their life, they would have had the ability to regulate their own emotions and so, their main way to handle what was going on would have been to dissociate. Awareness What happened would have left a mark on every part of their being and the issues that they have as an adult will be a clear sign of what they went through as a child. Nonetheless, without this understanding, it can seem as though they just lack ‘self-control’, ‘emotional intelligence’ and/or are ‘irrational’, or another term that completely misses the mark. If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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By taking a step back and thinking about how some of the people in their life behave, one could come to the conclusion that they are very different. The reason for this is that one could see these people as being very emotional.
If they were to describe themselves, they could say that they are not very emotional. It might not stop there, though, as some of the people in their life could say the same thing about them. Who They Are This could be how they have been for as long as they can remember which could cause them to believe that this is just how they are. So, in the same way that some people are born with light or dark hair; they will have just been born this way. Having this outlook might put their mind at rest and give them something to say it if another person ever asks them why they are this way, but it won’t change their life. They are still going to have to deal with the challenges that will arise through being this way One Challenge Throughout their life, they may have often found that it has been hard for them to know what do to. This can relate to what to do in each moment of it and what they want to do with their life in general. In other words, connecting to their true needs won’t be easy. As a result of this, it can be normal for them to do what other people want and what they think they want. One and the Same Not having a strong connection to their true needs is going to make it hard for them to live a fulfilling existence. The only way that this will change is if they develop a strong connection and their life starts to reflect who they are. It might seem strange as to why not having a strong connection to their emotional self would make it hard for them to life a fulfilling life, but there is a clear reason for this. Their true needs are located in the same part of their being. Two Parts Their feelings and their true needs will be found in their body, so as they are generally out touch with these two elements, it will show that they don’t have a good connection to their body. They are going to spend a lot of their time in their head, rarely being in the other part of their being This is not to say that they will consciously choose to live in this way; it will be just how their life is. Still, one of the benefits to being this way is that they might not struggle to think clearly, with them having a well-developed intellect. Another Challenge Yet, although this might not be an issue, what will most likely be an issue is forming deeper connections with others. The part of themselves that will allow them to form strong attachments, their emotional self, won’t be there. Their friendships with others can then be very surface-level and if they have ever been in an intimate relationship, it might have soon ended. Without a connection to their feelings, they wouldn’t have been able to grow closer to the other person, let alone to express how they felt A Miserable Existence Being this way will probably mean that they are used to feeling frustrated and angry, and they may have even felt deeply depressed and even suicidal. They won’t have a sense of wholeness or feel alive, that is unless they consume something. If they were connected to their body, and their emotional self, it would allow them to experience a sense of wholeness and to feel alive. The emptiness and deadness that they may often feel would disappear. Going Deeper If they have been this way for as long as they can remember, it could show that their early years were extremely traumatic. Perhaps this was a time when they were neglected and/or abused on a weekly, if not daily, basis. As they were powerless and dependent, along with being in an undeveloped state, they wouldn’t have been able to fight back or to run away, so their body would have frozen up and they would have had to disconnect from their body in order survive. If this hadn’t taken place, the pain that they were in would have been too overwhelming for them to handle. Life or Death One will then be pretty emotionless as an adult, but their early years would have been a time when they experienced a lot of strong feelings and sensations. And as this was too much for their undeveloped being to cope with, their system would have shut down to keep them alive. What this is going to mean, then, is that behind their cold exterior and inner numbness will be a lot of emotional pain and trauma. The defences that they have in place will keep all this arousal/energy at bay. A Gradual process If all of these defences were removed and this pain was released, this pain would be too much for them to handle. Once again, they would feel like a powerless child who is unable to do anything about what is going on. This is why this is not something that can be forced or rushed; if it is, it could lead to a lot of unnecessary problems and even death. It is a case of working through one layer at a time and being patient and persistent. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
There are feelings that can be seen as being ‘positive’ and then there are feelings that can be seen as being ‘negative’. When it comes to how a feeling is perceived, it is likely to depend on the impact that it has on someone’s mood.
If a feeling causes one to feel good, it can be seen in a positive light, but if it doesn’t, it can be seen in a negative light. Based on this, it could be said that certain feelings serve a purpose while others don’t. Neutral However, although some feelings will make one feel good and others won’t, it doesn’t mean that they don’t all serve a purpose. As even though a feeling might not make someone feel good, this feeling can provide them with important information. For example, they could end up feeling guilty, with this feeling potentially letting them know that they have done something wrong and need to make amends. If they didn’t feel this way, they wouldn’t know that they had done something wrong and they may continue to do the same thing. Another Effect Along with there being feelings that feel good and feelings that feel bad, there will be feelings that energise them and feelings that drain them. Rage can allow them to feel strong and powerful, but toxic shame can cause them to feel weak and powerless. The former can be seen as being part of the fight response, while the latter can be seen as being part of the freeze response. By seeing each feeling in this way, it is clear to see why it will feel better to experience rage than it will to experience toxic shame. A Defence Considering this, it makes complete sense as to why someone would experience rage in order to avoid experiencing toxic shame. One will allow them to rise up; the other will cause them to sink right down. Now, this is not to say that this is something that will consciously take place, as this will most likely be something that takes place automatically. In fact, it could take place so quickly that one is not even aware of their own toxic shame. The Main Issue Reacting in this way will stop them from sinking right down, and that can be seen as a good thing. The trouble is that through becoming consumed by rage, it could cause them to cause a lot of damage. Their behaviour could have a negative effect on their relationships, which may end up isolating them from others. Other people will find it hard to relax and to feel safe in their presence. A Different Outcome Another way that someone can avoid their own toxic shame is by completely disconnecting from it and projecting it into others. Through disconnecting from it, they will rarely, if ever, come into contact with it. But, as this toxic shame is still inside them, it will still have an effect on their reality. There will be people ‘out there’ who end up embodying this toxic shame, with these people being seen as worthless and useless, for instance. Totally Oblivious As they are unaware of what is going on, it will seem as though they just happen to come into contact with people who are like this. In each situation, they will be the common dominator, yet this won’t stand out. The defences that they have built up will prevent them from being able to see how their ‘outer world’ is reflecting back their inner world. Of course, it won’t just be reflecting back what is taking place in their conscious mind; it will also be reflecting back what is taking place in their unconscious mind. The Downside of Intelligence What can also play a part in their own self-deception is that they can have a well-developed intellect, with this allowing them to rationalise what they are doing. Through having the right evidence and facts, they can label certain people are being-less than human. If they were able to take a step back and to reflect on their behaviour, it might soon become clear that they are simply engaging in a more sophisticated form of abuse. They will have their reasons as to why what they are doing is right and acceptable, but that won’t alter what they are actually doing. No Better Off What this illustrates is that being ‘intelligent’ doesn’t necessarily mean that someone will be less likely to deceive themselves. Being this way can just make it easier for them to avoid their own inner wounds. It may seem as though they are not very emotional and are very logical, but how they perceive life and what they believe will still be a consequence of what is taking place at a deeper level and are unable to acknowledge. They might see their emotional self as being ‘lower’ or ‘inferior’ to their intellect, yet this part of them will be defining how they experience life. The Key The antidote to this is for one to realise how their ‘outer world’ is there to shine the light on what is taking place inside them. This will allow them to see that if they believe that other people are worthless and less-than-human, it is a clear sign that this is how they see themselves. Not only will taking back their projections allow them to become a more integrated human being and to develop self-love, it will also allow them to make the world a better place. The reason for this is that they won’t be feeding into the drama of the world. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If a being from another planet was to look at a human being, it might seem as though they are only made up of one part: a physical body. However, if they were able to look through their physical body, they would soon see that they also have what could be described as a mental and emotional body.
What they might also see is that not all of these ‘body’s’ are at the same level of development. So while someone’s physical body could be very developed, their mental and emotional body could be undeveloped. Another Experience Conversely, they could see that although someone’s physical and mental body is developed, their emotional body isn’t developed. Then again, they might see that someone’s physical body isn’t very developed, but their mental and emotional body is. Considering the fact that appearances are often seen as important and the mental body is predominately the point of focus in today’s world, it is not going to be a surprise if someone hasn’t neglected these two areas of their being. What this will mean is that their emotional body will have been neglected. Different Ages Through working on these two areas, it could mean that their physical body doesn’t match up with their chronological age and neither does their mental body. If a number of tests were conducted, one may find out that their body is actually a lot younger than it really is. As for their mental body, this part of them could easily belong to someone who has been on the planet for a lot longer, due to how well developed it is. But, when it comes to their emotional body, they could have more in common with a small child. To Be Expected Nonetheless, if they live in a society that generally ignores this part of their being, why would they be any different? Most likely, they went through an education system that didn’t touch upon this area and, once they went into the big wide world, it is unlikely that they were encouraged to develop this part to them. While emotional training or education is not a big part of today’s society, this doesn’t mean that there are not plenty of options available that will enable someone to avoid them. There are so many distractions available that can allow one to keep how they feel at bay. Two Outcomes If someone is emotionally undeveloped or stunted, regardless of whether or not their physical and mental body is developed, it can mean that they can experience life in one of two ways. They can be emotionally shut down or they can come across as highly emotional and reactive. When it comes to the former, it can be as though they lack an emotional body altogether. On the other hand, when it comes to the latter, it can be as though they only have an emotional body and are missing a mental body. Two Sides of the Same Coin It is not uncommon for someone who is emotionally shut down to end up with someone who is highly emotional. But while each person will have a similar level of emotional development, the person who is shut down could see themselves as being more evolved. Through believing that they have their emotions under control and the fact that they will live in a society that encourages emotional repression, they will have just happened ended up with someone like this. Their ego-mind – the part of them that allows them to have their own experience on this earth and is there to keep them alive - will create the illusion of being separate from what is going on ‘out there; when in reality, what is going on ‘out there’ will be mirroring back what is taking place inside them. The Cause Irrespective of whether someone is emotionally shut down or not, if their emotional body is undeveloped; it is likely to mean that this part of them stopped growing at a certain stage of their life. The reason this part of them stopped growing is likely to be the result of trauma. One experience or a number of experiences, probably during their early years, would have caused their whole system to be overwhelmed, which would have stopped them from being able to move on from the stage of development that they were going through. When it comes to whether or not they completely shut down at this point or still maintained a connection to their emotional body can depend on a number of different factors. Deep Pain After this, the years would have gone by but one’s emotional body would have stayed stuck at this level of development and the pain that they experienced would have also stayed in their body. Their emotional body can carry layers and layers of the following feelings: powerlessness, helplessness, hopelessness, rage, loss, rejection and abandonment. Unlike their mental body, where they will just be able to change their thoughts and to let them go, it won’t always be possible for them to just change how they feel and let their feelings go. What this comes down to is that while one’s thoughts can create how they feel, their mental body can also trigger feelings that are held in their emotional body. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When it comes to the people that have taken their own life over the years, some of these have been people that created the impression that everything was fine up until they ended it all. As a result of this, it can leave those they left behind in both a lot of pain and confusion.
If someone seemed fine, full of life even, for them to take their life can make no sense whatsoever. What has taken place simply won’t add up and it could be something that will forever remain a mystery. Another Part Considering this, it means that there are likely to be a fair amount of people on this planet that are not in a good way even though they appear to be fine. When it comes to someone like this, they can make out that they are in a good place. They can appear to be full of life and extremely happy, making it incredibly hard to realise that this is simply an act. So, as they are giving off the wrong signal, so to speak, it is not going to be possible to support them. Behind The Scenes When this person is by themselves, a very different side of them is going to appear. In fact, it could be so different to what they are usually like that, if it wasn’t for their appearance, another person would believe that they are someone else entirely. For some reason, they will be able to drop the act that they usually put on and to embrace how they really feel. What this will show is that they don’t feel comfortable enough to do this around others. Their Experience During this time, they could end up feeling really low and even suicidal. Irrespective of how in control and at ease they appear to be to others, they will be in a position where their life has become too much for them to handle. It could be as though they are in a very deep hole and there is no way that they are ever going to get out of it. Over time, this hole could seem to get deeper and deeper, making it even harder for them to carry on with their life and to pretend that everything is fine. A Lot of Pressure What they are going through is going to take a lot out of them and putting on an act whenever they are around others is likely to do the same. Right now, they will need as much energy as they can to stop themselves from going down any further. Naturally, the more energy that they use to convince others that everything is fine, the less energy they will have to keep it all together. Clearly, something will need to change sooner rather than later. A Self-Imposed Prison If one was to drop their act and to open up about how they feel, they may find that there are a number of people around them that can support them. But even if this is not the case, there is support available online, for instance. When it comes to why they are unable to be real, it can be due to what they believe would happen if they were to open up. If they were to do this, they can believe that they would be rejected and abandoned. An Inner Enemy What this can illustrate is that in addition to the toxic shame that they carry, they believe that there is something inherently wrong with them. This shame will have created a prison that is keeping them in and other people out. If they do carry toxic shame and have this belief, it can show that they have experienced trauma. One experience or a number of experiences in their adult life and/or their early years will have left a big mark on them. Back To the Main Point It will be essential for them to consider that there is nothing inherently wrong with them and that they don’t deserve to suffer in silence. They need to reach out for the support that they deserve. So, thanks to how they behave when they are around others, it could be said that it is a surprise that they would have emotional problems. At the same time, it could be said that this will show that they are out of balance. The Plane of Duality On this earth, there is up and down, left and right, good and bad, and every other polarity that exists. Ultimately, it is not possible to have one without the other, which is why it is not possible for anyone to always be on top of the world. Now, that doesn’t mean that someone has to be attached to the different inner states that they have, or that they can’t ever change their inner state; what it comes down to is that they will experience different inner states and have different experiences. At times their inner states and experiences will be ‘positive’, and at, times, they won’t be. Out of Balance Therefore, if one always comes across as happy and even positive, it is likely to show that a big part of them is being hidden. It is then not that they are truly happy and full of life, it is that they disconnect from part of themselves around others. The part that they lose touch with around others is what re-appears when they are in their own company. And the longer that this goes on for, the more energy will be needed to maintain this way of life. Awareness If someone can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Now, although there have been certain events that have had a big effect on a lot of people in recent years, it could be said that there hasn’t been anything for a while that is quite like what is currently taking place. If there are people that haven’t heard about what is going on, it could show that they live in the middle of nowhere and have no connection to the outside world.
With that aside, someone can hear about what is going on whenever they tune into the mainstream media, go online and when they speak to others. But without even doing any of these things, one could still get a clear idea about what is going on by simply paying a visit to their local supermarket. Two Reasons They could see that there are a lot of empty shelves and that there are so many people that are buying lots of the same thing. And a lot of the food items that they buy are likely to be things that have a long shelf life. On the one hand, people will have brought more than usual and, on the other, what is going on in other parts of the world will have stopped certain items from being delivered. Empty shelves are then the result of far more consumption than usual and less supply than usual in certain cases. Out of Balance When it comes to why some people are buying more than usual, there are likely to be at least two reasons. There will be concern about whether or not food will run out and there will be the part that their reptile brain plays. For someone to be concerned about there being enough food if things continue to progress as they are could be seen as normal, but when the reptile brain completely takes over, it will be hard for someone to think rationally. Instead of paying attention to this part of their being and planning for what could take place, they will go into survival mode. Out of Control One will then have the ability to think but it will be as if they are possessed by their instincts. This is not the only way in which someone can be affected by what is going on, though, as there is at least one other way. Through hearing about what is going on and being around other people that are reacting to what is taking place, their emotions can end up being all over the place. When it comes to what they were like before, they may have been emotionally stable or they might have generally found it hard to feel at ease. Perception is Reality Either way, their inner world is not going to be settled and what is taking place inside them can influence how they perceive what is taking place externally. As a result of this, what is taking place externally can end up appearing to be worse than it actually is. To use an analogy: it will be as if one is looking through a pair of dirty glasses at a wall that is dirty. Thanks to what they are looking through, the wall will appear to be far worse than it is. One Conclusion If one was able to take a step back and to reflect on what is going on, to use their thinking brain, they could believe that the reason they feel as they do is because of what is taking place externally. In this case, they are not going to be playing a big part in their emotional experience. However, while what is taking place externally will play a part in how they feel - they are an interdependent human being after all – there is also going to be the part that their unconscious mind is having. What is taking place externally is likely to have triggered emotions that have been hidden in their unconscious mind/body for many years. The Trigger These emotions can relate to what has taken place in their adult life and go right back to what happened during their early years. The years would then have passed, but how they felt would have stayed inside them. With all this additional emotional energy, it is to be expected that it will be harder for them to handle what is going on. Through having this understanding, it will allow one to see that they are not powerless and that there is something that they can do to settle themselves down. Emotional Flashback If how they feel is connected to what has taken place in their adult life, they might soon be able to connect the dots, so to speak. Yet, if it relates to what took place when they were younger, this might not be possible. This is due to the fact that something traumatic may have occurred before their brain was developed enough to remember what took place. As a result of this, the memory/memories that would shed light on why they feel as they do will be absent. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Ideally, someone will be in tune with how they feel when they are around others; the reason being that it will allow them to function as a whole human being. Through being aware of how they feel, they will be able to connect to how other people feel and to connect to their own emotional needs.
Naturally, other people are going to appreciate their ability to connect to how they feel and to empathise with them. And, being in tune with their own needs will allow them to express what is taking place for them and to assert themselves. Fully Showing Up Ultimately, one will be in touch with their body when they are around others and this will allow them to be present and to embrace the moment. They won’t just be stuck in their head; every part of them will be there. Other people are also likely to get a sense that they are there, too, as opposed to being somewhere else entirely. This can allow them to feel as though they matter and that one values them. A Different Reality But while this will be the ideal, it is not going to be what takes place for everyone when they are around others. What will be the norm for some people is disconnecting from their body and losing touch with how they feel. When this takes place, it is not going to be possible for someone to fully show up. Instead, only a small part of their being will be there, meaning that the rest of them will be offline, so to speak. The Consequences Due to this, one is unlikely to feel strong and grounded; they could feel unstable and as though they have no control. Being out of touch with their own feelings will make it hard for them to truly connect to how other people feel. Their emotional needs are also going to be a mystery, with them only being aware of their mental needs. When they are around others, then, they are typically going to be estranged from themselves. False-Self Therefore, expressing their true-self around others is going to a challenge. Even so, most, if not all, of the people that they spend time with might not realise that they are not fully showing up. As far as most of these people are concerned, how one typically comes across could just be seen as what they are like. Some people might describe them as being fairly emotionless or an ‘intellect’, for instance. A Different Environment When there are moments when all of them shows up, this might only take place when they are around certain people or in certain settings. If this is the case, it might be hard for one to understand why this takes place. With that aside, one could find that when they are by themselves, it generally isn’t hard for them to connect to how they feel, with them being able to fully connect to their body. There is then going to be what they are generally like when they are by themselves, and around some people and some settings, and what they are generally like around others. A Strange State of Affairs When they think about what normally takes place when they are around others, they could struggle to comprehend what is going on. It could seem as though something just takes over and causes them to disconnect from their body. This could be how their life has been for as long as they can remember, which could cause them to believe that they were simply born this way. Whatever they believe about what is going on, they could see themselves as nothing more than a powerless victim. A Closer Look Now, while it may seem as though this is something that just happens, and that one has no control, this is not the truth. But, in order for them to change how they experience life, they will need to change what is going on inside them. The big question is: what is actually going on? What this could show is that at one point in their adult life and/or during their childhood years they experienced trauma, with the effects of this trauma being what is causing them to leave their body when they are around others. Early Trauma As they have the tendency to disconnect from how they feel and to leave their body when they are around others, it is likely to illustrate that they experienced trauma during their early years. The reason for this is that they are primarily disconnecting from how they feel when they are around other people. What these early experiences would have done is caused their mind to form certain associations around being in the company of others. Being around others would have come to be associated as something that wasn’t safe, hence why they leave their body around others. Emotional Flashback But, as this took place when their brain wasn’t fully developed, they won’t be able to remember what took place now that they are an adult. One will then feel overwhelmed and leave their body (or they could just leave their body as soon as they come into contact with others, without even needing to feel overwhelmed), yet their conscious mind will have no idea about what is going on. Without the memories to go with how they feel, it is to be expected that what is taking place won’t make any sense. Until the charge of this early trauma is dealt with, their mind will continue to disconnect them from their emotional self when they are around others to stop them from being overwhelmed and taken out by how they feel. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
In addition to a physical and mental self, someone also has an emotional self. Nonetheless, just because they will have at least three parts to their being, it doesn’t mean that they will always be in touch with each of these parts.
What one may find, that’s if they were to reflect on how they experience life, is that they are rarely in touch with their emotional self. As a result of this, it could also mean that they spend a lot of time being disconnected from their body – their physical self. One and the same The reason for this is that one will feel most of their emotions in their body, so if they rarely experience their emotions, they are unlikely to spend much time in their body. Their body is then still going to be connected to their head, but they won’t feel strongly connected to it. Thus, they are going to spend a lot of time in their head, which will mean that they will have a strong connection to their mental self. Other people may often describe them as someone who is fairly intellectual. On The Surface Through living in this way, it is going to be a challenge for them to really embrace the life that they have been given. Instead, they are likely to be on the sidelines and unable to really take part in what is going on. As the emotional part of their being is what allows them to feel connected to others and life itself, it is going to be perfectly normal for them to feel disconnected from everyone and everything whenever they are disconnected from themselves. In this place, it will seem as though they are separate from everything and are all alone. Cut-off If they do have people in their life, then, they are unlikely to feel a strong connection to them. The part of their being that would allow this to occur - their emotional self - will be offline and out of reach. When it comes to their love life, they could be with someone and yet not feel connected to them. Or, they may have had a number of relationships that were like this, with each person making a point about them being emotionally unavailable. On The Plus Side If there is a benefit to living this way it is that they will most likely avoid a lot of the ups and down that they would have if they had a strong connection to their emotional self. In general, they could just be numb and not feel anything. Still, this doesn’t mean that they won’t ever be taken out by how they feel and they might have moments when they feel deeply depressed. What this illustrates is that although they typically won’t have access to how they feel, how they feel still have an impact on their mood. Self-Blame After they have thought about how they experience life, they could end up believing that there must be something inherently wrong with them. Through being defective in some way, it won’t be possible for them to experience life in the same way that other people do. Even if they do come to this conclusion, it doesn’t mean that there is any truth to it. How they experience life is likely to be a way for them to stop themselves from being overwhelmed by how they feel, not a sign that there is something inherently wrong with them. Protection On one side, living in this way is going to stop them from being able to really embrace life, but on the other, it is going to stop them from being taken out by how they feel. What this shows is that they are carrying a lot of emotional pain inside them, and so, while they will usually come across as emotionless, they actually feel things deeply. If they were to change how they experience life, for instance, they would soon come into contact with this pain. Keeping their life the same is then going to be essential, that’s if they are to keep it together, so to speak. A Closer Look What this is likely to show is that during their adult life and/or during their childhood years, they experienced trauma. There may have been one experience or a number of experiences that were too much for them to handle, thereby causing them to feel completely overwhelmed and unable to integrate what took place. The years will have passed but the charge of what took place will have stayed inside them, preventing them from being able to function as a whole human being. Ergo, the emotional charge that is inside them will need to be dealt with if they are to experience life differently. A Process Naturally, this is not going to be something that will take place overnight. If they tried to face all this pain in one go, they would soon end up disconnecting from themselves (or going mad) as it would be too much for them to handle. Their mind would cause them to dissociate once again to keep them safe. So while being in a dissociated state will cause them problems, it will simply be their minds way of keeping them alive. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can take palace with the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
In recent years, a lot has been said about mental and emotional health and how so many people are not in a good way. Largely, the focus has been on the inner challenges that the average person is trying to deal with.
Along with this, there have been times when different celebrities have come out and spoken about their own challenges. In general, these have been actors, singers and reality TV stars. Another Area At times, sports stars have come out and spoken about the challenges that they have had. There have also been retired sports stars that have spoken about how hard it has been for them at different periods. Taking all these examples into account, it could be said that it doesn’t matter who someone is as they are not immune from having mental and emotional challenges. Nonetheless, it wouldn’t be right to say that there is one reason why someone would end up in a bad way. A Different Scenario If someone was taking part in a sport that was extremely competitive and even highly dangerous for many years, it could be said that it is to be expected that it will be a challenge for them to live a ‘normal’ life. Regardless of if this was something that involved them being in a stadium or an arena full of people, it will be as if they are now on the sidelines in life. Therefore, they will still live on the same planet but it will be as though they are somewhere else entirely. Their life will no longer have the same meaning and neither will they have the same inner experience. A Natural Outcome So, in the same way that someone’s life will never be the same again if they have lost another person, their life will never be the same again now that they have called time on what they were doing for so long. The difference here is that the life that they had will have come to an end as opposed to another human beings life. Before this point, they would have had a clear idea about who they were and what they did and now, they might not know who they are or what they are going to do. Their ego will have lost the structure that gave it stability and now it will be searching for something else to identify with so that it can feel stable once again. All at Sea What their mind could do is end up fantasising about making a return to what they did before, even if this is not an option. Perhaps they had to retire due to an injury or because they were no longer good enough to compete. Their mind is then going to do what it can to stop them from coming to terms with reality and accepting what is going on. To this part of them, letting go of an identity will be seen as death. Another Element What also needs to be taken into account, when it comes to why someone like this would be in a bad way after they have called time on their career, is that they will no longer get the stimulation that they used to get. This will deprive them of a lot, if not all, of the adrenaline that they used to experience. This would have allowed them to feel alive yet, without it, they can feel as though they are almost dead. Going from so much stimulation to so little will be a massive shock to their system. A Vulnerable Position If this gets too much for them to handle, and they don’t reach out for support, they could consider or even end their life. Another thing that they could do, to change how they experience life, is to find something else that will give them an adrenaline rush. They could end up getting hooked on gambling, drugs or engage in another activity that will change their inner state. Perhaps a more productive option would be for them to serve as a mentor or a coach to those who are up and coming in the sport that they have retired from. Going Back This wouldn’t be as intense but it would give them a focus while they adapt to not having the same amount of stimulation. If they just stop what they are doing and do nothing, it will be like going cold turkey – it will be too much to handle. Before they started doing what they used to do before they might not have experienced much adrenalin, which will show that they gradually came to adapt to living in this way. Then again, from a very young age, they may have been hooked on it. Potential Reasons Perhaps their early years were a time when they experienced some kind of trauma, or this might go back to what too took place whilst they were in the womb. Either way, what they went through during this stage of their life would have set them up live in fight or flight mode and thus, to experience high amounts of adrenaline. Therefore, being loaded up with adrenaline is what would have been normal from very early on, which would then have unconsciously motivated them to create a life that would allow them to continue to experience life in the same way. In this case, the end of their career could mean that for the first time in their life, they have been deprived of what has been part of their life for so long – adrenalin. Awareness Naturally, if this is all they have ever known, it will be very hard for them to handle life now that it is not as readily available. This will be a time when they will need to learn how to feel alive without experiencing so much adrenalin. For this to take place, their outer world needs to change as will their inner world. Now that the adrenaline has settled down, it may mean that they will have access to feelings and memories that had been pushed out of their awareness for a very long time, and this material could be very hard for them to deal with. If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Along with depression, anxiety is one of the most common mental, as well as emotional and physical, problems in today’s world. Emotional and physical was used above as both depression and anxiety is not always just a mental problem.
Like depression, anxiety is often something that affects someone’s whole being, not merely their mind. So if someone doesn’t struggle with anxiety, there is a strong chance that they know someone who does. A Lot of Exposure But even if they don’t know anyone who does, there is the chance that they will have heard about people that do. Through using social media, for instance, one may have come across a number of people that have anxiety problems. Along with this, they may have heard a lot about the help that is available and what someone can do, if they do suffer from anxiety, whilst watching TV or listening to the radio. Undoubtedly, it is a lot easier to find support for mental and emotional problems than it was in the past. Another Problem However, although there is far more support available than perhaps there has ever been, the world of today is also very different to how it used to be. Due to what the modern-day world is like, it is very easy for someone to experience anxiety. In a way, it could be said that the modern-day world is designed in such a way as to make people anxious. Therefore, even if someone does have access to the type of support that their ancestors wouldn’t have even dreamed of, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to feel at peace. Living In the Right Way Unlike certain illnesses, anxiety is not something that can be dealt with by taking a pill. And even if one does take a pill to help them with their anxiety, it doesn’t mean that they won’t end up replacing one issue with another or many more. Unless one has experienced trauma and needs to resolve their trauma in order to settle down, the way for them to settle down will most likely be for them to live in the right way. And even if one is not in a good way due to trauma, they will still need to live in the right way after they have dealt with their trauma, to be able to have good mental and emotional health. The External Problem Except if one is ‘off the grid’ and is not part of mainstream society, they are likely to be exposed to things and use things that unsettle them. Ergo, while politicians can say that they are doing things to help people that suffer from mental and emotional problems; the society that they preside over is largely the reason why people are not in a good way. These people can then send money in this direction and that direction, but this money is unlikely to transform society. Now, this is not to say that the average person is a powerless victim; no, what it means is that they will need to live in a certain way to be able to have good mental and emotional health. A Closer Look When it comes to the things in society that can unsettle ones inner world, there are numerous. Take the mainstream media, for instance, this is a source that is there to ‘inform people’. In reality, its primary purpose is to manipulate people into seeing the world a certain way and to keep them in a state of fear. What makes this source even more dangerous is that it can now connect to people directly thanks to the invention of the Smartphone. Knowing Too Much With so much negativity being constantly drip-fed into someone’s mind, it is naturally going to be hard for them to feel at peace. But, even if someone doesn’t pay attention to this source of information, they can still be exposed to information on their Smartphone that will unsettle them. For example, after looking through what their ‘friends’ have been doing, they can believe that they are missing out and believe that their life is not as good as anyone else’s. These two things alone can cause their anxiety levels to spiral out of control. Another Outcome Furthermore, through spending so much time using a Smartphone and other devices, one can spend very little time in their body. As a result of being in their head, it will be normal for them to feel disconnected, to worry, to be on edge and to experience a lack of stability. For this to change, they would need to get back into their body, so that they can embrace the now and let go of what may or may not happen further down the line. Talking to people over a screen as opposed to in the real world is also going to mean that their nervous system won’t receive the human contact that it needs to regulate itself, thereby causing them to be emotionally starved and on edge. Awareness There are, of course, many other factors involved here, such as the amount of sugar that is in so many food items and the overstimulation that prevents people from getting enough sleep and thus, making them irritable throughout the day. Taking this into account, if one wants to experience inner peace, it will be vital for them to be discerning when it comes to the information that they consume, to think about the effect that social media and their Smartphone is having on them, to be careful what they eat, and to get enough sleep. Spending time in nature and around supportive people will help them to get back into their body and to get them out of their monkey mind. If they only live in their mind, it will be normal for them to be on edge and to get caught up in the dramas of the world.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
 Oliver JR CooperAuthor, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant - With Over 2,000,000 Article Views Online. Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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