Boundaries: Why Don’t Some People Realise When They Are Picking Up On Another Person's Emotions?19/1/2017
Although human beings are often seen as being independent, it doesn’t mean that this is actually the case. Now, this is not to say that they don’t have their own life to lead; what it comes down to is that everyone is connected.
Therefore, although everyone has their own physical body, this is not going to stop them from being affected by the people around them. This is why it is often said that it is important for someone to be careful when it comes to who they let into their life. Food The average person is going to be only too aware of how they need to be careful when it comes to what they put into their body. This is something that is spoken about in the news, and there are plenty of TV programs that go into it. Even so, when it comes to being around the right people, this is something that is not as well-known. Yet, if one believes that they are an ‘individual’, there is going to be no reason for them to think about it. Outlook When it comes to how one sees themselves, the people around them are going to play a big part. If one is a positive person and believes in themselves, there is a strong chance that the people they surround themselves with will also be the same. As a result of this, one is going to support their friends, and their friends are going to respond in the same way. One is then filling their cup, so to speak, and they are filling theirs. Emotional State Through being around people like this, it is going to make it a lot easier for them to feel good about themselves. This is not to say that this will allow them to always feel good, as there are likely to be moments when their mood will change. For one thing, they are bound to come into contact with people who will treat them differently. This could be something that will take place when they are at work, or when they go shopping, for instance. Highly Sensitive In addition to this, one could be in a position where they are more susceptible to how other people respond to them. What this could show is that they are sensitive, and this can cause them to absorb what other people are going through. This is not to say that sensitive people are the only ones who do this; what it comes down to is that they can take on more than other people do. Through being this way, they are likely to need far more time to recover. Protection Thus, it is going to be vital for them to have good boundaries, as this will allow them to function at their best. If they don’t have them, it could end up feeling drained on a regular basis. Through having them and being aware of what they need to do when they feel drained, it will make their life a lot easier. And, even when they do feel drained, there will be no reason for them to believe that there is something wrong with them. The Same Approach When it comes to someone who isn’t highly sensitive, it is also going to be necessary for them to have good boundaries. Negativity might not affect them in the same way, but it is unlikely to simply wash over them. Through feeling safe in their body and knowing where they begin and end and where other people begin and end, it will be less likely for them to pick up on what doesn’t belong to them. If on the other hand, one wasn’t affected by how other people feel, it could show that they have shut down. Disconnected How other people feel is then not going to be something that will leave a mark on them; it will just go over their head. This will make them immune to other people’s emotional states, but it will also mean that they are out of touch with the rest of humanity. What this comes down to is that one can’t lose one side of the emotional spectrum without losing the other; in order to experience one side, the other also needs to be embraced. The pain that one will avoid through experiencing life in his way will not result in them being able to have a fulfilling existence. Wide-Open However, when one is in touch with how they feel and they don’t have boundaries, they can find it hard to realise when they are experiencing other people’s emotions. And so although they are going to have their own body, it can be as if they are an extension of other people. What other people feel is then going to be what they feel, and one is not going to know what doesn’t belong to them. How they feel is then going to be defined by others, and this could even have an impact on their health. A Sponge And, though soaking up other peoples stuff, it is going to cause them to lose themselves in the process. It is then clear that they have a great ability to tune into what other people are going through and, this will make it easy for them to put themselves in another person’s shoes, but this is going to cause them to suffer. If one is sensitive, it might not be possible for them to completely change what is taking place. Even so, it doesn’t mean that there is nothing that they can do, and that they will have to continue to experience life in this way. Awareness The first step will be for one to understand what is taking place and from here, they can do something about it. They might be able to develop boundaries with the assistance of a therapist, or they could try a more spiritual approach.
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If one was to hear about an abusive relationship, there is a strong chance that this would involve someone who uses force to cause harm. This could mean that they use their body to do this and/or they might only use words.
Either way, this is going to mean that the other person is going to suffer, and their life is then not going to be very fulfilling. And while this could be something they experience from time to time, it could be a way of life. Another Occurrence Alternatively, one could hear about someone who has been attacked, and this is going to be another instance where force has been used. The other person might have been going about their life and for no apparent reason, they were harmed. In this case, they are not going to be in an abusive relationship, but they will have a similar experience. And even though this could be a one-off, it doesn’t mean that it should be overlooked. In The Spotlight However, if one doesn’t hear about something like this, it doesn’t mean that they won’t be exposed to this kind behaviour. If they were to watch the news, for instance, they could hear about people being harmed in another country. Therefore, this won’t relate to one person being attacked, it could relate hundreds or even thousands of people having this experience. Not only this, it could be something they experience on a regular basis. The Norm In fact, if one was to pay attention to the mainstream media, they would see that this is something is taking place all the time. They might not be able to see it with their own eyes, but this doesn’t mean it is not happening. There are likely to be certain places in the world where this has taken place for a number of years. And, if one if one spends time learning about the past, they would see that this is nothing new. One Outlook It could be said that this is just how the world is and nothing will ever change. It is then going to be important for one to make sure that they don’t get caught up in what is taking place. Now, this is not to say that they should turn a blind eye to it; what it comes down to is that they can only do so much. The main thing is that they don’t harm anyone or anything, and this will stop them from adding to what is taking place, and they will be an example to others. The Problem At the same time, one could believe that this is something that is caused by men, and this can mean that they will believe that there is at last two ways of dealing with this problem. One way will be to get rid of men, and the other will be for men to no longer behave in this way. Or, if they don’t believe that men are the problem, they could say that the masculine aspect is what needs to be removed from both men and women. As to how this can be done, they might not be too sure. Two Sides If one believes that men are the problem, it is likely to show that they believe that they are the only ones who have the masculine aspect within them. Based on this, women are going to be the only ones who have the feminine aspect. On the other hand, if one believes that men are not the problem, it is likely to show that they believe that both men and women both have each aspect within them. Still, what they are both going to agree upon is that the masculine aspect needs to go. Black and White Masculinity is then going to be seen as good and femininity is going to be seen as bad; that will be all there is to it. Thus, if people only had the feminine aspect within them, the world would be heaven on earth. But while this outlook can seem accurate, it would be the same as saying that a knife is bad. Clearly, whether it is bad or not will all depend on how it is used; ultimately, the knife is neutral. Far More Complex When it comes to the masculine aspect, it could be said that there is far more to it than this, and this is because there are traits that can be seen as positive and traits that can seen as negative. For example, having discipline, taking action and being assertive are all masculine traits, and these can be seen as being positive. So, if the masculine aspect was removed, it could be said that very little would take place. If anything, the masculine aspect needs to be understand and kept under control; it could said that when people have the right guidance when they grow up, this is something that will take place naturally. The Same Level When people go on antibiotics, the bad bacteria within them can end up being removed, and this is a good thing. The downside to this is that the good bacteria can also end up being destroyed in the process. In the same way, removing the masculine aspect would stop a lot of problems from taking place, but others would appear in their place. And, through focusing on the problems that the masculine aspect causes, it can stop one from seeing that the feminine aspect is not perfect either. Conclusion If someone hasn’t embraced their masculine aspect, they can lack self-control, find it hard to stand their ground and be dependent on others, amongst other things. They are then not going to be the ones who are physically harming others, but they can end up being the ones who are being harmed by others. What this shows is how vital it is for one to embrace both sides of their nature and through doing this; it will allow them to function at their best. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist.
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While there are going to be a number musicians and actors, who are generally going to keep their views to themselves, there are others who are going to take a different approach. As a result of this, they are not going to hold back when it comes to what they think about certain topics.
Now, there could be times when what they have to say doesn’t have much of an effect on others. Or if it does, it could be something that people will disagree with but that could be as far as it goes. For Example If a celebrity was to share their views on a certain type of sports, there can be people who agree and people who don’t agree, but even if they don’t agree, it is unlikely to go any further. It is not likely to make front page news, and, if what they say does make it into paper, it could end up being overlooked. This is then not going to have an effect on how other people see them. Another Topic However, if they were to share their views on politics, this is bound to lead to a different outcome. The amount of exposure their views receive is typically going to be defined by how famous they are. And if they have said something before an election is about to take place (or after), this could also have an effect. The mainstream media is going to be looking for content to draw people in, and this will be one way to do it. Another Factor At the same time, whether the mainstream media covers what has been said can all depend on what has been said. For example, if a celebrity has said something that supports their outlook, they can share it. Yet if they have said something that doesn’t support their outlook, it can end up being overlooked. What this comes down to is that this news source has their own agenda, and they don’t exist to simply inform people. Another Approach Alternatively, this news source could talk about what a celebrity has said even if it goes against their agenda, but they could take what has been said out of its original context. This is then going to be a way for them to tarnish their image. Making them look bad is going to be one part; the other part will be to try to convince people to vote for the opposite candidate. The celebrity is then going to be nothing more than a pawn. Even Further But although a number of celebrities will share their views and this will be as far as it will go, there are going to be others who go even further. What this could mean is that they will tell people who they should vote for. Therefore, not only are they going to be a singer and/or actor, for instance, they are also going to be a teacher. And, even if a candidate has been chosen, it doesn’t mean that they won’t have something to say. A Saviour Now, if they are happy with who won an election, they might just talk about how pleased they are. When this is not the case, they could end up talking about what needs to be done in order to counteract what has taken place. It is then going to be as if they have elevated themselves to a position where they are one of the only ones who can do anything about what has taken place. Unlike other people, they are going to be in a position where they know what is going on and what needs to be done. Distracted If one was to listen to what they have to say, it can be easy to believe that they simply care about other people. Based on this, they are just going to be doing what anyone else would do in their position. This could then show that someone believes this actor and/or musician is superior to other people, and so it is going to be vital for them to listen to what they have to say. There is the chance that what they say sounds extremely convincing. An Act Yet if an actor has said something, it is not going to be a surprise for them to deliver a good performance. It can then be a challenge for someone to take a step back and to think about what has been said. On one hand, they can get caught up in their performance, and on the other hand, they can see them in the same way as they saw them in a film. Through doing this, they are not going to be able to see them as a fellow human being; they will see them as a good like figure. Back To Reality But although a number of people will see them in this way, there are going to be plenty people who have a different outlook. As far as these people are concerned, this celebrity is only going to be there to entertain them. And, through telling them what they should do, it can cause them to wonder what is going on. It is then going to be similar to having an electrician over to fix something and they end up telling them who they should vote for, or have a go at them for voting for the wrong person. Deluded If this was to occur, they would probably tell them to get out of their house, and when it comes to a celebrity, this could stop them from watching their films or buying their music. Not only is a celebrity going to be putting themselves above other people, they are not going to be showing any empathy. If they were to speak to people who don’t live as they do, it would give them the chance to understand why they voted for a certain candidate. This would then allow them to see that not everyone sees the world in the same way as they do, and that this doesn’t mean they are inferior. Conclusion Also, if they were to do their own research as opposed to swallowing everything the mainstream media tells them, it will give them the chance to educate themselves about what is actually taking place around them. Naturally, due to the kind of life they lead, it can be a challenge for them to relate to how the average person experiences life. It could then be said that it might be better for them to keep their views to themselves. This will protect their image, and it will stop them from destroying their livelihood in the process.
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In today’s world, it is not going to be uncommon for someone to be told that they deserve it. But if this is not the case, then there is a strong chance that they have come across this expression when they have been online.
Uplifting If one was to hear this, it is likely to be something that will have a positive effect on them, and it could be said that this is to be expected. Through hearing this, it is going to give them a sense of control. On one side, there is going to be what they desire, and on the other hand, they are going to be worthy of it. Based on this, there is going to be no reason for them to not have what they want. Out of Reach Alternatively, one could be in a position where the first part is there but the second part isn’t. Due to this, it is not going to matter what they desire, as they are going to be told that they don’t deserve it. Or, even if they are told this, there is still the chance that they feel as though they don’t deserve to have what they desire. What is taking place externally is then going to be the same, but what is taking place within them is going to hold them back. Another Scenario If one had the desire to have something but they didn’t believe they deserved it, there is still the chance that this will change through having the right support externally. Through being told that they do, it could gradually begin to change how they see themselves. After a while, they can come to believe that they do deserve to have what they desire. What had been taking place externally will then have had a positive effect on their self-image. The First Part It could then be said that in order for one to have something, it is going to be necessary for them to believe that they deserve this. This is going to be what will get the ball moving, so to speak. However, even though they have this outlook, it doesn’t mean that what they want will simply fall into their lap. Similarly, just because one knows how to make a cake, it doesn’t mean that it will appear. The Next Step When it comes to the cake, they will need to get the ingredients and then they will need to make it. If they don’t do this, they won’t be able to eat the cake, and it will be nothing more than information in their mind. And, when it comes to getting what they desire, they are also going to need to put the work in. If they don’t do this, it won’t be possible to have what they desire, and it will be just be a desire. It’s Obvious It could be said that this is something that is perfectly clear, and that it would be ridiculous to expect something to just appear. One could be only too aware of the fact that no one is going to give them what they want. Yet if this was to happen, it could be something that takes place when they see their family, for instance. It might also occur when they are at work, but this will be something they have earned. Back In Time When one was a child, they would have been entitled to have what they needed without needing to work for it. This was due to them not being able to work for what they needed at this point in their life. But as they continued to grow, this would have gradually come to an end, it would have been up to them to play their part. There is the chance that the people who gave them what they needed during this time also had to work for what they gave them. Its Missing Nevertheless, unless this understanding exists, it can be normal for one to believe that what they want is just going to show up. When they hear the expression ‘you deserve it’, it can be as if what they want will appear right in front of their eyes without them having to do anything. This could show that they haven’t been able to grow out of how they saw the world as a child. Therefore, although they look different, they are still going to have the same outlook. Another Way At the same time, this could be something that one is not too clear about. Thus, while they may believe there are times when they have to work for things, they could also believes that there are times when this is not the case. Through being this way, it could be easier for them to go along with someone when they are told that ‘they deserve it’. This is the kind of expression what one is likely to hear if they are into self-development. Positive Thinking Here, one can find that there are affirmations that go into how they deserve to have what they desire. In addition to this, one can find that they are also techniques they can use to manifest what they want into their life. The only thing they will be expected to do is just to use their thoughts and feelings, and what they want will come into their life. This can then set one up to believe that they don’t need to do anything, and this comes down to the fact that they deserve it. Awareness When one is told that they deserve it, it could be said that this is what the child part of them wants to hear. This part of them doesn’t want to work for anything, and it would be happy for everything to be provided. If one doesn’t want to have what they desire and they want to live a life of frustration, they won’t need to work for anything. But if they want to have what they believe they deserve, they will need to put the work in.
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It has been said that what people do is more important than what they say, and this going to come down to the fact that actions speak louder than words. As while it is easy for someone to say something, it is going to take a lot more effort for them to do something.
In The Beginning However, when one meets someone for the first time, they could find that they end up getting caught up with what they say. They could believe that there is no reason for them to question what they tell them. What this could show is that one is being taken in by what they are saying, and it could be as if they are under their spell. There is the chance that they won’t meet them again, and this is then going to be as far as it will go. Moving On It is then going to be irrelevant as to whether the other person was telling the truth or not, and one can carry on with their life. Even so, one could still think about what they spoke about. On the other hand, if one was to see them again, it would give them the chance to see if what they were talking about matches up with who they are. At the same time, one could still go along with what they say. Easy Target Therefore, if the other person wanted to take advantage of them, it might not be too difficult for them to do so. Either consciously or unconsciously, they will know that one is only interested in what they say and not what they do. For example, they could promise to do something for them, and one could be happy to give them something before this happens. One could then give them money or resources and the other person could decide to do a runner. Milking the Cow Alternatively, they could decide to take as much as they can, and to see how long they can get away with this for. While this happens, they could tell one that they will pay them back soon. And if one continues to behave as they have done since the start, there will be no need for the other person to change their approach. What the person says will be what matters to them, as opposed to what they do. A Matter of Time Time will then continue to pass and one will continue to lose money and/or resources. Now, there could come a point in time when one is able to wake up and to see what is happening, and this could save them a lot of trouble. Yet, there is also the chance that this won’t happen, and this could cause them to blame the other person. There is do doubting the part they have played, but if one had paid attention to their behaviour, their life would be different. Another Scenario If this is not something that takes place, one could find that they end up going along with what their partner says. Here, their partner could say that they love them and, at the same time, they could show very little, if any, interest in them. Or, one could continue to get in touch with someone they are interested in even though nothing happens. What could cause them to keep putting the effort in is that the other person could tell them that they have just been busy, for instance. Taken For a Ride In the first example, one is going to be with someone who might no longer want to be with them. Through staying with them, they are going to be wasting their time, and this is going to stop them from being with someone who does want to be with them. When it comes to the second example, one is going to be talking to someone who is not interested in meeting them. The time and effort they waste on them could then be used on someone who does want to take things further. Stepping Back During moments like these, it is going to be in one’s best interest to take a step back from what the other person says. Once they have done this, they can start to focus on the other person behaviour. When this takes place, one may find that they start to experience pain, and this can show that they don’t want to face the reality of the situation. But the pain they will experience through doing this is not going to be as bad as the pain they will experience if they don’t face up to what is taking place. Emotional Intelligence What this shows is how important it is for one to make sure that they don’t allow themselves to be carried away with their emotions. This is not to say that one needs to be suspicious of everything that comes out of someone’s mouth; it just comes down to having a balanced approach. If one finds that they have tendency to be taken for a ride, they could look into what they are looking for at an emotional level. Once they have taken care of these emotional needs, they may find that they are able to settle down and no longer get drawn into what people say. Awareness If one can relate to this and they want to change their life, they may need to seek external support. This will give them the chance to take a deeper look into why they are behaving in this way, and this is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist.
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If one was to watch the news or to listen to it on the radio, there is strong chance that they will hear about something negative that is taking place in the world. And while this could be to do with something Mother Nature has done, it could be the result of what a human being (or number of them) has done.
But even though one could have this experience if they were to do this, it doesn’t mean that they won’t have a similar experience if they were to do something else. One talk to a friend about what has been taking place in their life and they could also have something that is just as bad to share. Relationships Or, this person could talk about what has been taking place with the person they are with, and how they have been taken advantage of them. Now, this could be the first time this has occurred, but it could be something has happened on numerous occasions. Upon hearing this, one could begin to think about the people who have treated them badly in the past. Perhaps they have been with people who are abusive, and they might even be with someone like this now. It’s Easy What this shows is that it doesn’t take a lot of effort to see what is not right or what hasn’t been right in the past. And if one has some kind of device, they can just go online and come into contact with these kinds of stories. Having this option will allow them to have a greater understanding of what is taking place around them and what is taking place around the world. After going online and looking through this information, one could soon wonder what is going on. Going Down During this time, their mood could end up deteriorating, and they could feel the need to escape into something. Maybe, one could end up watching a film, or they could go and get something to eat. And, this could be something that takes place on a regular basis’s, and it could then be said that it will disrupt the rest of their life. But even if this doesn’t take place, it could have an effect how they see the rest of humanity. One-Sided One could come to believe that there are not many people in the world who have the right intentions. It is then not just that the world is in a mess; it is that the majority of people who live in the world are not up to the task of changing it. In fact, most people can be seen as playing an active role in making it even worse. Based on this outlook, it is going to be normal for them to have lost their faith in humanity. A Select Few If one was to think about their family and friends, for instance, they could find that these people are different. Unlike the majority of people, they are not going to be doing what they can to destroy the planet. But even though this is the case, their attention is going to be consumed by the people who are not like this. Therefore, if one was surrounded by people who were different, their outlook is still going to be the same. Stepping Back However, if one has lost their faith in humanity, it doesn’t mean that it’s because of what is taking place in the world. What it can come down to is that they are allowing their mind to control them. As result of this, it is not that what is out there needs to change; what it comes down to is that they need to develop the ability to detach from what is taking place within them. Without this ability, it is it not going to be possible for them to get back into the driver’s seat, so to speak. A Closer Look It has been said that the mind views things as being either black or white, and it is more likely to focus on the negative than the positive. With this in mind, it doesn’t take too much thought to see why it would cause one to lose faith in humanity. Their mind is not interested in seeing that not everything is black and white, and it is looking for what is negative. What is also going to play a part here is when one is unable to step back from their emotions. The Truth How they feel when they are exposed to something negative is going to define what they come to believe, or it will validate what they already believe. One is not going to be able to realise that these are just feelings, and that they don’t necessarily reflect reality. The way in which they view the world is then going to be the result of how they feel in each moment. Said another way, if one is feeling emotionally unstable, the world is going to be no different. Conclusion When one is able to see how the mind works and they don’t get caught up in how they feel, it will give them the opportunity to see that not everyone is the same. And even if someone does do something bad, they don’t represent everyone. Ultimately, the world is made up of all types of people, and it could be said that this is how it has always been. Today’s technology has given people the chance to find out about things that they wouldn’t have heard about before, but that doesn’t therefore mean that the world has suddenly got worse. It could also be said that when one has ‘lost faith in humanity’, they are putting themselves in a superior position. One is then going to see themselves as being more capable than most people.
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When one’s life is not going as they would like it to go, they can do something about it or they can act like a victim. If they were to do something about it, it will naturally give them the chance to change their circumstances.
Yet, if they were to act like a victim, there is a strong chance that their life won’t change. In fact, they could find that it will end up getting even worse, and this can make it even harder for them to realise that they can do something about what is taking place. The Ideal As a result of this, when one doesn’t see themselves as being nothing more than an effect of their environment, their life is going to be far more fulfilling. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that one will be able to change their life straight, but it will allow them to take the first step. When one believes that they have absolutely no control over their life, it won’t be possible for them to take the first step. They are likely to believe that the only way it will change is if other people do. The Challenge If one finds themselves in a position where their life is not going as they would like it to go, it could mean that their relationships are not working and/or they could have emotional and emotions problems. This could then be something that they can overlook at times, or it could be something that they can’t just ignore. Therefore, the sooner they can do something about this, the better their life is going to be. One thing they can is to look for a therapist to work with, and this can take place through going to see their doctor or by going online. Two Options This can be a time when one can work with whoever their doctor recommends, or they could find someone who has an understanding of what they are going through. It could be said that it won’t be the end of the world if they work with someone who isn’t right for them, as they can just find someone else. And while one might know if they are working with the wrong person straight away, it could take them quite some time. It could be said that this is to be expected, and not something that they would need to criticise themselves for. It’s all new For example, if one had starting learning how to cook, there would be no reason for them to get it right straight away. In the beginning, they might not know where to start and, once they do start, they are unlikely to cook the perfect dish each time. But as time passes, they will gradually understand what they need to do and their cooking will improve. It is then going to be the difference between driving somewhere where they have been on numerous occasions and going somewhere for the first time. The Typical Approach When they begin to work with someone, they are likely to focus on what is going on for them. If they don’t feel at peace within, this could be a time when they will focus on what is taking place in their mind. There is also the chance that they will end up looking into what took place during their early years. If their relationships were not working, they could also focus on their mind and look into their behaviour. Moving Forward Through focusing on what is going on within them and/or their behaviour, they could find that their life gradually begins to improve. It could then be said that this will have been something that is relatively straight forward. At the same time, one might only get so far and, even if their life was to improve, they could soon find themselves back where they started. One way of looking at this would be to say that experiencing life in this way is something that feels comfortable at a deeper level. A Closer Look It is then going to be important for one to look into why this is something that feels comfortable. Perhaps one believes that something bad will happen if their life changes and this could show that they fear being abandoned, rejected and/or harmed. As an adult, this might not make much sense, but it might if they were to look into what occurred when they were younger. Yet, even if they were to face this pain, it still doesn’t mean that they will be able to change their life. Holding On One could then be asked if they really want to change, and they could feel as though they are the ones who are at fault. There can then be the pain of what they are going through, and the pain of feeling as though they are the reason why their life isn’t changing. This could show that one doesn’t really want to change their life, but there is the chance that there is more to it. It might be more about what is going on behind them, so to speak, than what is going on within them. Further Back If they were to take a step back from what is going on within them and to reflect on what is taking place, they may see that they have the need to be loyal to their caregiver/s. Through being this way, it is going to stop them from being able to live their own life; they are going to be living someone else’s life. What this shows is that it is not just what one has been through in this life that has an impact on them; they can also be affected by what their ancestors have been through. Along with what hasn’t been dealt with in the past, they might not allow themselves to do better than the people who brought them up. Awareness In today’s world, people are generally seen as individuals, and this plays a part in why one can be held responsible for what they are going through. The trouble with this approach is that one is actually part of a system. And unless what has happened before them is dealt with, one could find that it is incredibly difficult for them to change their life. If one can relate to this, they may find that their life will change through having a family constellation.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When it comes to social media, it is often seen as something that people use to express themselves. Here, they can talk about what they have been doing with their life, and they can share their views on certain topics.
And, when one does this online, it is going to allow their ‘friends’ to see what they have to say. There is then going to be no reason for them to get in touch with each person individually. A Difference Response However, even though this is something that one can do when they use social media, it doesn’t mean that they will. There is the chance that one will decide to keep everything to themselves. Therefore, if they have the need to say something, they could end up sending a message. Or, they could just keep their views to themselves, and open up to the people they know in the real world. Self-Expression On the other hand, one could decide to share their whole life online, and this shows that they don’t feel the need to hold back. This can mean that one will talk about what they have been doing each day. Along with this, they can share their views on what is taking place in the world, and this might cause other people to criticism them. At the same time, this can all depend of the kinds of things they come out with. The Other Part As if one was to only say things that match up with what they hear about on the mainstream media or if what they say is politically correct, for instance, it can cause them to receive approval. One is then not go to say anything that is ‘controversial’, and so they won’t need to worry about offending anyone. What will also have an effect here is who they are ‘friends’ with, and their friends could generally have the same outlook as they do. As a result of this, it won’t be difficult for them to receive their approval. A Parrot And while one may have taken the time to think about what they are saying, this might not have taken place. Instead, one may just listen to the mainstream media and accept what they are told. There is also the chance that their friends have the same approach, and everything they know about the world is then going to come from the same source. If this source of information doesn’t want them to know about something, there is as strong chance that they won’t find out about it. Virtue Signalling How one views the world can then be defined by what they have been told and, when their ‘friends’ have been conditioned in the same way, they are going to come out with the same things as their friends do. If someone else was to say something that was different, they could end up having a go at them. Based on how they view the world, they can see themselves as being a good person; whereas when another person has a different view, they can be seen as being bad. One way of looking at it will be to say that one can be more concerned with coming cross in the right way. Certainty At the same time, could simply believe that how they see the world is the truth. Thus, if another person has a different outlook, there is going to be no reason for them to question what they themselves believe. It can just be a chance for them to tell someone how they don’t know what is taking place, and they might even label them in some way. They could even go one step further and delete them from their profile. A Risk What this shows is that if one doesn’t simply go along with what the mainstream media tells them and they are willing to think for themselves, they may end up being treated like a criminal if they were to share their views online. Yet, if they were to talk about more trivial things, they might be fine. When it comes to what is taking place in the world of politics or if an election is about to take place, it might be a good idea for them to keep their views to themselves. That is unless they have the ‘right’ outlook. Protection Through holding back, it can stop them from falling out with people and it can even stop them from losing their job. What this shows is how freedom of speech is not something that truly exists in today’s world. It might be more accurate to say that as long as one says the right things, their livelihood won’t be affected. Naturally, there are going to be some people who say whatever they want online, and there can be a number of reasons as to why they don’t hold back. Another Reason One could also decide to share very little online because they value their privacy, and they are not going to want to share their life with the world. They could believe that if they do share their views, it could cause people to take what they say out of context. It is then going to be better for them to talk to people in person about when it comes to how they see the world. And if they only talk to people who they are close to, it should give them the chance to be heard without being labelled, amongst other things. Conclusion If one goes along with the mainstream media, they are not going to need to worry about sharing their views online. There is as strong chance that this is not going to cause them to be seen in a negative light by most people. But if they listen to the alternative media or simply think outside the box, they might need to think about if they are willing to face the consequences that may arise if they were to share their views.
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Nowadays, it could be said that the average person has far more control than they did in the past, and this is primarily due to the internet. Through going online, one will have the chance to share their views and to have an impact on what takes place in the world.
When it comes to sharing their views, this is something that can take place through having their own blog. But if this is not something that appeals to them, they can simply create their own videos. Self-Expression As a result of this, one could end up spending a lot of time sharing their views with the world. On one hand, they may have a few hundred followers and, on the other, they could have thousands or even millions of people who listen to what they have to say. But regardless of how many people listen to them, this is going to be something that wouldn’t have been possible in the past. The only way it would have happened is if they knew the right people, or if they held a certain position. Another Route Yet, if one doesn’t want to have their own blog or create videos, for instance, it doesn’t mean that they will have to keep their views to themselves. The only thing they will have to do is to use social media. One will be able to share their views on their wall and they can comment on what other people say. And, if they don’t want to reveal their identity, they can choose to keep it hidden. A Different Experience Now, even though one will be able to share their views, it doesn’t mean that they will necessarily have an effect on something. However, though being able to share their views, it can have a positive effect on their well-being. For example, if one of their friends was to ask them about their opinion on something, it can cause them to believe that their opinion matters. As to whether their opinion will change anything can be irrelevant; what matters is that they have been asked. Connected This can allow them to feel as though they have a sense of control; whereas the alternative would be for them to be ignored. This could then cause them to believe that they are not important, and this can cause them to feel as though they don’t have any control. What this shows is how important it is to be heard, and this is an important need that all human beings have. Through having the option to get something of their chest, it can stop them from doing something destructive. Behind A Screen What can also make it easier for one to express themselves is that they are not going to be directly in front of other people. Therefore, if they have something to say that makes them feel unconformable, it can be easy to talk about it online. If one is suffering mentally and emotionally, for instance, they could share what is going on for them and receive support from others. Along with this, if one is aware of something that is causing other people harm, they can also talk about it. A Voice In the past, there is a strong chance that they wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it, and it would then be normal for them to feel powerless. And the people who were suffering would have continued to suffer. What this comes down to is that it would have been a lot easier for people to be exploited in the past. Without being able to go online and to tell people about what was going on, it would have been a lot harder. Another Option In addition to this, one now has the ability to sign online petitions, and these will generally relate to things that need to change in the world. And, if one is aware of something that needs to change, they can start their own. Also, through singing up to the different organisations that run these petitions, it can allow them to be informed about what needs to be changed in the world. If this wasn’t the case, it would cause them to be unaware of these things. One Part It could be said that when it comes to changing something, it is going to be vital for people to know about what needs to be changed. As without this, it is not going to be possible for them to do anything about it. The next step is then going to be for people to do something about what is taking place. In this sense, even if a petition is started and nothing happens, it can still result in progress being made. The Other Side At the same time, this can also set people up to believe that the only thing they need to do to change the world is to sign a petition. One can sign one and they can go away feeling as though they are making a difference. There is then chance that what they have done will lead to a positive outcome, but it might not. And even if one was to sign something, it doesn’t mean that they care about something; the only thing it could show is that they didn’t want to feel guilty by not signing it. A Hidden Agenda At times, these petitions are going to cover important matters, but at other times, they can simply be a way for people to control others. What this shows that while something can start of on the right foot, so to speak, it can end up going off track. It is then not going to be about changing what needs to be changed, it can be about changing things that are seen as being ‘offensive’. Through being able to start a petition so easily, this can cause them to be nothing more than mini-dictators. Conclusion Ultimately, whether something is good or bad depends on how it is used, and online petitions are not different. Before one signs or creates one, it might be a good idea for them to take step back and to reflect on why they want to do this.
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When someone has therapy, it might not take very long until they begin to feel different. Now, the reason they are having therapy could just be to change how they feel, or there could be more to it.
If this is the only reason they are having it, it can cause them to believe that they are making progress. This could be a sign that one has been working with them for a few weeks, or it could be even longer. The Issue If the main reason they wanted to have therapy was to feel better, it could show that they were not at peace within. Perhaps they suffered from depression, or they might have been in a position where they were under a lot of stress, for instance. And through working with a therapist, they might no longer feel as they did before. At the same time, one could just find that even if they are not where they would like to be, they are in a much better place. A New Approach As to why they feel different, it could show that they have changed their perspective. The time they have been spending on themselves, has then allowed them to be more resourceful than they were before. This might also have been a time when they have been worked through different emotions and conflicts. One may have been aware of what was taking place before, or this might not have been the case. External Support Yet, even if they were aware of certain things, they may find that working with a therapist has increased their understanding of themselves. On the other hand, one might have had absolutely no awareness of what was taking place, and then this would have gradually changed. The time, money and effort they are putting into this area of their life are then going to be worth it. And through getting to this stage, they might come to the conclusion that they no longer need their assistance. Times Goes By Through no longer working with a therapist, one might find that the changes they have made end up staying with them. Alternatively, one could find that they don’t feel the same, but that doesn’t mean they will fall apart. And even if they were to change, they will have the tools that they need to get themselves back on track. Also, it is not going to be possible for one to always be at the same level; there are going to be ups and downs. A Big Difference However, one could also find that they start to fall apart once they stop having therapy. Based on how they felt when they were having it, they might find it hard to comprehend what is taking place. When they were having it, they would have felt good, and now that it has come to an end, it can be is if as they are back where they started. There is also the chance that they will end up feeing even worse. Helpless They could come to believe that here must be something wrong with them, as what they were doing hasn’t worked. Therefore, if one felt powerless before, this could be something that they feel even more deeply. It might only be a matter of time before they go and work with the same person again. The reason for this is that one might believe that they need to have it for a longer than they did before. A Different Route Yet, if one continued to have therapy, it wouldn’t heave been possible for them to have this experience. Thus, how they feel during this time can be seen as a reflection of how they have grown. When the time comes for them to stop, they could then be even for an even bigger shock. They will have put in far more time, money and effort, but they will end up feeling the same as they would have done if they had stopped having therapy earlier. The Same Experience Once again, one could take what is happening personally and blame themselves. It could then be said that one will be taking on too much, and this is going to stop them from looking into why they feel this way. As if one was to bring their attention away from themselves and onto what was taking place externally, they might be able to see why they feel so different. In order to do this, it might be necessary for them to allow themselves to settle down. A Good Friend One way of looking at this would be to say that this whole experience is similar to what happens when they see a good friend or a close family member. But while this can be the case, it doesn’t mean that this is something that stands out. When one spends time with someone like this, they are likely to feel better about themselves. Even so, this is unlikely to cause them to believe that how they feel around them is a sign that they have grown. Slightly Different In the same way, just because one feels different after working with a therapist, it also doesn’t mean that they are any different to how they were before. What is going to be different is that they are spending time with someone who is completely focused on them. This alone is going to meet a number of their needs, and it is to be expected that their well-being will improve. But in the same way that their inner world is going to change once they walk away from a friend or family member, it can also change when they no longer have therapy. Conclusion With this in mind, there is going to be no need for them to believe that there must be something wrong with them for responding in this way. This is something they can talk to their therapist about, and one might need to find someone else to work with.
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Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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