When one wants to work with a therapist, they can have a number of different questions, and one thing they can want to know is how long it will last. This could come down to the fact that they want to move on with their life, or it could be a sign that they just want to feel better.
Nevertheless, it is going to be a question they want answered so they can put their mind to rest. If they were to find a therapist to work with and they were to ask them this question, they might not be able to give them a straight answer. Different Factors For one thing, this is something that can all depend on what it is that they want to work on. Along with this, what will also play an important part is how one responds to the assistance that is provided. And although the therapist’s ability is not something that can be overlooked, it is also going to be necessary for one to feel comfortable with them. As if this wasn’t the case, it might not matter what their qualifications are or what experiences they have had. Comfortable What this comes down to is that when one can relax and they are able to open up, it will make it easier for them to make progress. Now, this is not to say that it should happen straight away, as it could take a little while. But if this was something that didn’t take place, it would stop one from being able to relax and to open up. This would then stop them from being able to make progress, or they would only get so far, for instance. Gender Whether one feels as though they can relax can be defined by what gender they work with, and this is because they may have had a bad experience with a man or a woman in the past. If one realises this, it could make it easier for them to work with someone who is right for them. Thus, if one has had a bad experience with a man/woman in the past and they were to work with a therapist of the same gender, it would be normal for them to shut down. Yet if one didn’t realise why this was and neither did the therapist, one blame themselves and the therapist could also find it hard to understand what is taking place. The Reason There are all kinds of reasons as to why one would want to work with a therapist, and while one could have a fairly minor challenge, they could also be in a position where they are unable to function. When it relates to the former, it could mean that one has trouble with feeling confident or taking action, for instance. When one is unable to function, it could mean that they have just experienced a breakup, have emotional problems, or that they had a less-than nurturing childhood, for instance. What this comes down to is that there are many reasons why one would have therapy. A Few Sessions If one only has a minor challenge, they could find that their life begins to change after they have worked with a therapist a few times. The work they did together would then have allowed them to be more comfortable with themselves. There is then going to be no reason for one to work with them for longer, and this could have been something that lasted for a few weeks or months. Still, one could end up having therapy for something minor and after they begin to take a closer look at what is taking place, they could find that there is more to it. Symptoms This could then mean that the problem/s one is having are an effect of something else, and one now has the chance to deal with what is taking place at a deeper level. As a result of this, it is to be expected that they will need to work with their therapist for longer than they first thought. During this time, one could end up getting touch with what took place when they were younger. One might find that how they have felt as an adult matches up with how they felt when they were younger, for instance. A Number of Sessions However, if one can’t handle life and they are in a bad way, it is unlikely that their life will change overnight. Therefore, it is going to be necessary for them to have more than just a few sessions. In this case, one may find that they need a lot of support, and one could even end up feeling dependent on their therapist. Now, one way of looking this would be to say that this shouldn’t happen. Part of the Process Yet if one is having therapy due to neglect or abuse and they are working through pain, it could be said that this not something to be concerned about. One is in a vulnerable position and though being this way, they need to have the right external support. This is not to say that this will last forever, as it will be stage that one goes through. After a while, one should soon start to feel stronger and they won’t need same amount of support. How Long? When it comes to working with childhood problems, it could take a matter of years as opposed to matter of months. For example, if one grew up in a narcissistic family and their sense of self didn’t develop, it is highly unlikely that they will be able to heal from this in a short period of time. This is because one won’t just be changing their software; they will be repairing their hardware, so to speak. It is then going to be important for one to be patent and persistent, and to have the will to heal. Time for a Change Throughout the time that one works with a therapist, it will be vital for them to pay attention to how things are going. If they have been working with someone for a long period of time and nothing has really changed, then it could be time for them to find someone else. One could find that although they have made progress, they are now in a position where they feel stuck. It will then be a good idea for one to listen to their intuition and to find someone who can assist them on the next stage of their journey.
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If one was to think about a time when they were able to be themselves, they could say that it was possible for them to express their true-self. Whereas as if they were to think about a time in their life when they were unable to be themselves, they could say that this was a time when their false-self appeared.
This would show that although one can be themselves, they can also be someone else. It could be said that the ideal would be for one to have more moments when they are themselves than moments when they are someone else. One Way Having said that, there could be people who will disagree with this, and this is because they could say that the ideal would be for one to always be themselves. As a result of this, one won’t need to suffer by putting on an act. Still, while this is going to be seen as the ideal scenario by some people, it doesn’t mean that it would be the best way to experience life. What this comes down to is that there will be moments in life when it will be in one’s best interests not to reveal what is taking place within them. Self-Protection When this happens, it will allow one to take care of their own needs even though this might seem like a contradiction. For example, if one was to feel sad or down about something, they could come across people who are unable to empathise with what they are going through. In this case, it will be better for one to cover up how they feel and by doing this; they won’t be setting themselves up to experience unnecessary problems. Also, one could come into contact with someone who is aggressive and instead of speaking their truth, it could be better for them to walk away. A Choice In these cases one will be putting on an act, but this will be an act that they have chosen as opposed to something that just happens. Through behaving in this way, it could be said that this shows that they value themselves. If, on the other hand, this wasn’t the case, it would be normal for one to express how they feel to the wrong people and this would open them up to being invalidated and even abused, and/or to speak their mind when it is not safe for them to do so. Still, this is going to be radically different to what happens when one always experiences life in this way. One Experience It then won’t matter who they are with, as they will always feel the need to put on an act, and this could be something that just happens. One is then going to feel as though their behaviour is out of their control and this is going to have a negative effect on their wellbeing. However, this doesn’t mean that one will always act in the same way, as it could all depend on the context. In one moment, one could act shy and as though they don’t have much to say, and in the next moment, they could come across as they are there to entertain others, for instance. True-Self Through being this way, it is going to be normal for them to overlook their own needs and feelings, amongst other things. They could be completely estranged from what is taking place within them, or they might be aware of these aspects from time to time. When one is around others, they could be out of touch with how they feel, and then when they are in their own company, this could change. But even if one is aware of what is taking place within them when they are with others, it is not going to make much difference. Relationships The people that they spend their time with could believe that their behaviour reflects their true nature. And while this could be because one generally behaves in the same way, it could come down to the fact that they are also playing a role. As these people are out of touch with their true-self, it stops them from being able to realise that one is also out of touch with who they are. But regardless of whether the people they spend their time with are aware or not, it is naturally going to be a challenge for one to have fulfilling relationships. Career This is something that is also likely to have a negative effect on one’s career, and this could then mean that one is unable to follow their true path, or that they only get so far in the path they have chosen. If one was to come across people who are doing what they enjoy or who are making progress, they could end up feeling as though they are missing something. One could believe that although other people have control over their life, this is not something that they have. They could also feel unlucky, or that other people are more fortunate than they are. Point of Focus If one was to reflect on what takes place when they are around others, they may find that part of them feels comfortable when they behave how other people want them to behave or how they think they want them to behave. The part of them that feels comfortable is then stronger than the part that doesn’t feel comfortable. So if they were to ignore this part of themselves, it is going to cause them to experience fear anxiety. This then causes them to focus on other people’s needs and to neglect their own needs. Irrational One way of looking at this would be to say that there is no reason for them to feel this way, as it is unlikely that anything bad is going to happen. Yet although it would be easy to come to this conclusion, it doesn’t mean that their life was always this way. Childhood During the beginning of their life, they may have been brought up in an environment where it wasn’t safe for them to express themselves. If they did something that didn’t please their caregivers, they could have been physically abused. These experiences would then have set them up to disconnect from their true-self and to develop a self that would have allowed them to avoid being harmed. At this age, their primary concern would have been to survive, and this would have taken place by pleasing others. Awareness It then won’t matter that one is no longer a child, as the trauma they experienced during these years will have stayed within them. Once this has been dealt with, it should allow them to let go of the past and to feel safe enough to be themselves. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist.
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While some people can find that they can function whether they are with someone or if they are by themselves, there are others who are not in the same position. In this case, one can find that they struggle when they are not with someone.
On the other side, one could find that they it is not possible for them to function in a relationship. As a result of this, they are likely to do everything they can to avoid getting too close to others. From The Outside However, if someone was to come across how these people behave, it would be easy for them to come to the conclusion that one of them is healthier than the other. As one of them is drawn to being with others, they could be seen as the one who is comfortable with intimacy. Whereas when it comes to the person who does what they can to stop themselves from getting to close to others, they could be seen as the one who avoids intimacy. This would show that they have made a surface level assessment and not looked into the other factors that are at play. Black And White What this outlook would reflect is the belief that the people who have relationships are comfortable with intimacy and the people who don’t are not. Cleary, if one doesn’t have them there is a strong chance that they have a problem with it. Yet even if one does have relationships with others, it doesn’t mean that they are comfortable with intimacy. For example, one can be with someone and they may only share their mind and body. Two Sides One can then come to believe that they are in a relationship and the people they know can also form the same outlook. If the people around them had this outlook, it could be a sign that they are also experiencing life in the same way. Thus, through having a surface level relationship themselves, it is not possible for them to recognise when another person experiences life in the same way. Ultimately, this is what is normal and so this is to be expected. Loss When one does avoid relationships, it is can be because this is the only way for them to maintain their sense of self. If they get too close to others, they are likely to end up feeling overwhelmed. During this time, one can feel as though their very survival is under threat, and so this is naturally going to cause them to fear intimacy. It would be easy to down play this experience and to say that one should simply embrace their fear, but this would overlook how painful this can be. Annihilation During the time when one is close to another, they can feel as though their life is about to come to an end. Their ability to think will then be offline and their reptile brain will take over. It is then not going to be possible for them to share their life with another person; the only thing they will be concerned about is protecting themselves. This can show that their younger years were a time when they were neglected and/or abused. Vulnerable Through being treated in this way, it wouldn’t have been possible for them to develop boundaries, and this means that their sense of self would have remained undeveloped. So through feeling exposed as a result of what took place during these early years, it stops them from being able to fulfil the rest of their needs. When someone can’t understand why they would behave in this way, it can be due to the fact that their mind perceives intimacy in another way. This then allows them to feel comfortable with intimacy, and there is no reason for them to experience fear. The Other Experience Now, when one is unable to function when they are not in a relationship, it is going to show that they generally don’t feel overwhelmed around others. This then allows them to get close to others without feeling uncomfortable. However, this doesn’t mean that one is able to maintain their sense of self around another person, as they could end up merging with them. Or if this doesn’t take place, one could end up playing a role. False-Self Either way, it is going to be a challenge for them to express their true-self, and as they can’t do this, it could be said that it won’t be possible for them to experience intimacy. The part of them that will allow enable them to feel close to the other person will be in hiding. The people they end up with are also likely to be in a similar position, and this means they are also going to be wearing a mask, so to speak. Yet the reason why one would put up with these kinds of relationships is likely to be due to their fear of being abandoned. Undeveloped As they haven’t developed a sense of self, they need to be with someone in order to feel like a whole human being. Another way of looking at this would be to say that one is not an interdependent human being; they are a dependent human being. What this is likely to show is that although one looks like an adult, they still feel the same as they did when they were a child. Through feeling this way, it is going to be normal for them to look for another adult make them feel better. Early Years In the beginning of their life, they may have had a caregiver who neglected them, and this would have stopped them from getting the attunement that they needed to develop a sense of self. The years have then passed, but the trauma of the past has stayed within them. Awareness If one can relate to this and they want to move forward, it will be important for them to reach out for support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist and/or a support group.
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While some people are given the kind of care that they need in order to grow and develop whilst they are growing up, there are others who don’t have this experience. As a result of this, their latter years can end up being extremely different.
A Continuation When one does receive what they need, they are generally going to be able to carry on with the rest of their life. What this means is that they won’t be caught up in the past, and they will feel like an adult. This is because through getting what they needed during each developmental stage, there was no need for them to get stuck at any stage. Through completing each stage, it would have given them the strength they needed to go to the next stage, Stuck On the other hand, when one doesn’t receive what they need, it is going to be a challenge for them to carry on with their life. They are then going to be caught up in the past and it won’t be possible for them to feel like an adult. Through not getting what they needed during each stage of their development, it would have been normal for them to get stuck at a certain stage. The strength they would have got through completing each stage has then been kept at bay. Appearance Therefore, even though someone looks like an adult, it doesn’t mean that they feel like one. As no matter how many years pass, if one doesn’t receive what they need to receive they won’t grow on the inside. One’s appearance will change no matter what happens, but their mental and emotional self doesn’t work in the same way. These aspects need to receive the right things at the right time, or else they will stay the same. An Act However, even though one didn’t receive what they needed during their early years, it doesn’t mean that it is always possible for them to realise this. They could be in a position where they have developed a false-self that allows them to come across as though they have it all together. Through this, it not only allows one to deceive themselves, it also allows them to deceive others. It is then not that one is putting on an act in order to handle life; it is that they are a high functioning human being. A Struggle Along with this adaption, there are going to be people who don’t cover up how they feel and they will be only too aware of the fact that they can’t handle life. This could cause other people to see them as incapable, for instance. There is also the chance that one will have the tendency to end up with people who come across as though they have it all together. One will then be treated as though they are inferior and this will allow the other person to feel superior. Pain Now, this is not to say that one person will experience pain and the other parson won’t, as they are both going to be in pain. The difference is that when one comes across as though they have it all together, they are less likely to come into contact with their pain. They can have a number of different ways to regulate their pain and this will stop them from having to experience it. This could include things that are destructive and things that will allow them to move forward in their career. Progress When it relates to what will allow them to move forward, it could mean that they are a workaholic. Now, this can still be destructive; the difference is that this can allow them to become more successful and this behaviour is generally rewarded in today’s world. One can then see no reason to change, and the people around them can give them positive feedback. Still, what this can do is cause them to overlook their own health and to neglect other areas of their life, for instance. Caught Up Along with this, they could still have moments where they feel down and depressed. When one is in touch with how they feel and this then causes them to be overwhelmed, there is the chance that they won’t have achieved much in their career. This also doesn’t mean that they will simply be with their pain either, as they are likely to have a number of different escapes. They could regulate their pain through exercising, taking drugs, drinking and/or having casual encounters, for instance. Stuck But regardless of whether one channels their pain into their career or into other forms of escapes, their emotional development is not going to change. This is because instead of facing their pain and working through it, they are going to be running away from it. As it is through processing the pain that is within them that will allow them to grow up. And it is through being in touch with this pain and using it to move forward that will one be able to change their life. Energy So when one runs away from how they feel and this lessens the pain that they are in, they are going to be out of touch with the part of them that will give them the energy they need to move forward. In fact, through pushing this pain out of their awareness, one could end up feeling comfortable with how their life is. Thus, even though their life is not going how they want it to go, they can end up tolerating it. And unless they are able to get in touch with how they feel at a deeper level, they might not have any reason to do anything about the direction their life is taking. Awareness It could be said that one reason why this approach is so common is because pain is often seen as a ’bad’ thing as opposed to something that can have a positive effect on someone’s life. If one can relate to this and they want to change their life, they might need to work with a therapist.
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When it comes to what most people know about history, there is a chance that the majority of what they know was picked up whilst they were at school. Along with this, there can be what they have learned through watching films.
On the other hand, there are the people who have taken matters into their own hands and have continued to learn about the past. Perhaps they enjoyed learning about history when they were younger, or this may be something they got into in their latter years. Restricted It could be said that when one learns about history during their younger years, they don’t have a lot of choice. They have to go over what the education system wants them to go over and that’s the end of it. This could have been a time where they were around people who talked to them about history, but even then one wouldn’t have had much choice in the matter. Through having this experience, it could have been something that put one off history. Films However, this may have been a time when one enjoyed finding out about the past through watching films. There wouldn’t have been the need for them put any effort in, they only had to sit back and relax. As a result of this, learning would have been seen as something that is interesting as opposed to something that is boring. This can then set one up to look towards Hollywood when it comes to being informed about what has happened over the years. One Outlook However, it is often said that it is not possible to learn about the past through watching films as they rarely reflect what actually took place. For one thing, historians are often known for criticising films that cover historical events. It is not uncommon for them to talk about how film companies want to create a certain impression and not to present what happened. And as these companies are there to make money, amongst other things, it could be said that this is to be expected. One Reason They realise that people generally don’t watch films to be educated; they watch them to be entertained. It is often their intention to leave their reality behind and to escape into another experience. Based on this, there would be no reason for one to expect to be informed about history through watching films or TV series. This would be the same as one going to a fast food restaurant in order to be nourished. The Best Approach Therefore, the ideal would have been for one to pay attention to what they were being taught at school when they were younger. This would have allowed them to receive the right information in regards to the past. And so if one wants to learn about history during their adult years, it will be important for them to take a course or to read books that have been written by people who have been trained in the mainstream education system. This will allow them to find out what really took place in the past. An Agenda Yet although this might sound like the right option to take when it comes to be informed about the past, it could be said that it is not this black and white. What this comes down to is that the education system also has an agenda. And while it could be easy to say that the entertainment industry is only concerned about making money, this would also be a mistake. It could be said that this is something that is easier to find out indirectly than it is directly. Hidden How these two sources present the past is one side of the equation; the other is the effect it will generally have on people. Ultimately, the information they present is just a way for them to cause people to develop a certain outlook about the past. So while it is important, it is not that important in the grand scheme of things. Still, it could be said that they have to present in such a way that it sounds believable; but if people are unaware of what took place, this is not going to matter. The Present It would be easy to say that it doesn’t matter how someone views the past; what matters is how they view the present. However, what this would overlook is that the way in which one the views the past effects how they view the present. Thus, through defining how people view the past, they can define how they perceive the present and this means they can control their behaviour. What this shows is that this is simply another tool to control humanity with. Division It has long been known that dividing people is a great way to control them, and this is something that takes place through presenting the past in a certain way. On one hand, men are often presented as being one way and women as being another, and on the other hand, they generally portray each race as having behaved in a certain way in the past. Due to this, it can be normal for men to look into what happened and to feel guilty and ashamed, and for women to do the same and to feel angry and oppressed. When it comes to each race, white people can end up feeling guilty and ashamed, and other races can end up feeling angry and oppressed. How they present each religion will also have an effect on how people behave. Conclusion What this emphasises is how much corruption there is in the world, and even though something is presented as the truth, it doesn’t mean that it is. What these people behind the scenes realise is that people often believe what they hear, and even more so when it comes from an authority figure. In today’s world, there is no denying how important it is to think critically. If this doesn’t happen, one is not in control of themselves; they are being controlled by outside sources.
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When someone starts a new relationship there is a strong chance that it will be their intention to be with someone who is available. In this case, one is in a position where they are ready to share their life with someone else.
It could then be said that they have the right outlook, and it could mean that they will be on the path to a fulfilling relationship. A new chapter of their life has then begun and one could be grateful that they have met the right one, so to speak. A Different Experience However, even though one can start a relationship and hope that the other person is available, it doesn’t mean that they are actually available. In the beginning, one could act as though they are ready to settle down and then as time goes on, this could soon change. This would then show that while part of them is ready to settle down, another part of them is not on the same page. So although one could go along with the relationship and pretend that everything is fine, they could also walk away. Unavailable On the other hand, one could find that although they ready to share their life with someone, the same can’t be said for the person they are with. At first, they may have created the impression that they were ready but then as time has passed, a different side of them has appeared. Through coming across as though they were ready, it would have been normal for one to believe that they were with the right person. If, on the other hand, they were like this from the start, it would have been a lot easier for them to realise what was taking place. A Facade What this shows is that people don’t always reveal their true intentions and while this can be a sign that they are trying to deceive, it might not be this black and white. At times, someone could go out of their way to mislead another, and at other times, it could be something that takes place just outside of their awareness. So when one comes across as though they are available in the beginning of a relationship, it could be act they have put in place to get their needs met. Alternatively, it could be something that they are not fully aware of. Pain When this happens, it could be a sign that they are in a lot of pain and their primary focus is then to feel better. Thus, they are not focused on taking advantage of another human being; they are concerned with their own wellbeing. Yet if one has crossed paths with someone like this and they are also in pain, it might not be possible for them to feel better if the relationship was to come to an end. Ultimately, one can feel as though they have been used and this can be hard for them to handle. Time What could give one a sense of relief is that they have found out and that this is not something that has lasted any longer. This will then allow them to gradually move on from what they have been through. During this time, one could wonder why they ended up with this person, and why his person ended up with them. Looking into the first question might allow them to change their life; whereas looking into the second question may only allow them to settle their mind down. The Big Question If the person one was in a relationship with was in pain, it could be because they have only just left another relationship. The pain they experienced when this came to an end is then still within them. This will then show that they didn’t take the time to process their pain; they ended up looking for someone to take it away. Based on this, one would have seen as someone who would make them feel better. An Escape Through being this way, it would have been possible for them to have a relationship, and this is because they were running away from themselves. They would have been able to offer their mind and their body, but their heart would not have been available. By replacing one person with another, it would have kept their pain at bay, and this may have been the only need they had. It would then have been necessary for them to come on strong and to create the right impression in order to keep one around. Looking Back Having said that, if one was to look back on how the other person behaved in the beginning and throughout their time together, they may start to see that there were signs. But one may have overlooked these due to their need to be with someone. If the other person came on strong from the start, this would have shown that something wasn’t right. As when it comes to finding the right person, it is generally better to take the time to get to know them. Thinking Clearly When this happens, they are not being controlled by their emotions, and this will make it easier for them to make better decisions. Along with this, they may have also spoken about their ex a lot. One may also have found that although they were attentive at certain times, there may have been other times when they were distant. Their behaviour was then either hot or cold, and this would have been hard to deal with. Awareness If one was to look into why they ended up with this person, they may find out that is because they are also unavailable. Although they thought they were ready to have a relationship, this was nothing more than an illusion. In this case, it might be important for one to work with a therapist and to read up on relationships. This will allow them to gain a better understanding of themselves and to work through what is stopping them from experiencing intimacy.
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When it comes to what music people like, there are styles that are more popular than others. And within each style, there are musicians that plenty of people know about and musicians that very few many people know about.
In the same way, certain approaches are more popular than others when it comes to healing mental and emotional problems. And within each approach, there are techniques that are well known and there are others that are under the radar, so to speak. The Reason It would be easy to say that the reason one style of music is more popular than another is because it is better. In the case of a healing, this would be tantamount to saying that one approach is better than other. Based on this outlook, the reason one musician is well know and another is not is also because they are better. And when a technique is well know, it must then me a sign that it is also better. Another Angle But while this can seem like the right conclusion when it comes to music, it is clearly not this black and white, and is likely to come down to peoples opinion. Thus, the reason one style is more popular than the other is not because it is better; it is because more people are drawn to it. In the case of one musician being more well known and another being on the fringes (even though they have the same style), it can come down to the exposure they have received. What can also play a part here is what they look like, as what someone looks like typically plays a big role in the music industry. Therapy And as certain approaches are more popular than other, it would also be easy to say that they must be better. However, what this can show is that more people feel comfortable with these approaches and the others could cause them to feel uncomfortable, for instance. Along with this, the reason some techniques are more well-known than others could be due to how old they are or the funding that is behind them. So if a mainstream organisation finds that it is easy for people to train in this technique and it doesn’t cost a lot to offer if to others, it would then be natural for them to offer it. One Experience If one was in a position where they had something that they needed to deal with, it could mean that they will end up taking the approach that is given the most exposure. It could then be normal for them to focus on their mind and/or their behaviour. As a result of this, they could end up working with someone who uses a well-known technique. One way of looking at this would be to say that one will be focusing on the surface of themselves and not taking a deeper look The Perfect Solution Now, this could be what is needed and one could soon see the results that they are looking for. There is then no need for them to take a deeper look and focusing on the surface is enough. At the same time, there could be the chance that this is not enough, and it might then be important for one to take a deeper look within them themselves. Still, if one was to say this to the person they are working with; they could tell them that they are already doing the right thing and that they need to be patient, for instance. Resistance If one does have this experience, it could be a sign that they need to carry on doing the same thing, or it could mean that the person who is helping them is living on the surface of themselves. But as it is human nature to avoid pain, it is to be expected that this kind of scenario would arise. Thus, out of the need to avoid what is taking place at a deeper level, it can set people up to be drawn to techniques where they don’t have to experience much pain. This can relate to the people who use the technique and to the ones who want to experience change. Another Experience Alternatively, one could be told that they need to try another approach, but this could cause them to experience resistance. They are then going to continue to experience life in the same way and it won’t be possible for them to move forward. Yet if one was to try another approach, it still doesn’t mean that they will get the right results. Instead, one could end up being told that told that they need to be patient and that their life will soon change. A Different Technique What this would then show is that even though they have tried a different approach, the therapist is still being limited by their own outlook. For example, this could be a time where one is told that it relates to what is taking place in their body or even what happened to their ancestors. If is about what is taking place in their body, then one is going to end up having to face pain. But if it is about what took place for their ancestors, it could mean that they won’t have to experience too much pain even though they are going deeper, so to speak. Avoidance Therefore, in the same way that people can focus on the mind in order to avoid pain, they can also focus on what their ancestors did in order to avoid having to experience pain. In this sense, the approach is different but the intention is the same. However, while it can be necessary for one to try another approach in order for them to get the results they desire, this might not be needed. What it could come down to is that one needs to try another technique. Awareness This shows how important it is for one to listen to their own intuition and to keep an open mind. There are many approaches and techniques out there, and what route one needs to take can all depend on what is taking place for them.
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If one was to pick up a paper or to go onto a news website, for instance, it wouldn’t take them long to come across something negative. It could be said that this is partly because bad things happen in the world, and partly because the mainstream media generally focus on what is wrong as opposed to what is right about the world.
Attention What this also comes down to is that human beings generally pay more attention to what is negative than they do to what is positive. This is said to come down to what was like for our ancestors. During this time, if one overlooked something negative, they could die; whereas if they overlooked something positive, they wouldn’t. Thus, in order for them to survive, they had to be on the lookout for danger at all times. The Same Scenario So although times have changed and people’s lives are not under threat like they used to be, their brains are still operating in the same way. The mainstream media understands this and uses it to their advantage. Therefore, if they were to cut down on the amount of exposure they give to these kinds of events, it would be harder for them to draw people in. This would then stop them from making as much money. Stress What they are not going to be concerned about is the amount of stress this causes people to experience. But as human beings are drawn to what is negative, it is not always going to be possible for them to take a step back. In this case, they can end up being controlled by the mainstream media, and it won’t matter what this is doing to their mental, emotional and physical health. Now, this is not to say that the alternative is to cut out all negativity, as this would be just as detrimental. A Balance The more sensible approach would be for one to be aware of what is taking place, but not to be consumed by it. This is then similar to how one can stop eating chocolate, or they can simply cut down on it. If they were to remove it from their diet completely, it could create even more problems, and it could only be matter of time before they end up giving in to their cravings and end up exactly where they started. Also, through understanding the way their reptilian brain works, it will also allow them to realise why they feel the need to consume so much negativity. Another Option Along with this, one could also pay attention to what the ‘alterative’ media has to say about what is taking place in the world. Through taking this approach, it can allow them to gain a more balanced perspective. The reason for this is that the people behind this form of media are typically not there to make money, and neither are they told what they can or can’t cover. As a result of this, it can allow them to inform people about what is actually taking place in the world. One Outlook One way of looking at this would be to say that the mainstream media has an agenda, but the ‘alternative’ media doesn’t. The former exists to cover up what is taking place behind the scenes and the latter exists to reveal what is taking place behind the scenes. Based on this, the people who work for the mainstream media are not concerned about their fellow human beings; whereas, the people who work for the ‘alternative’ media are concerned. However, it is unlikely to be this black and white, and there are bound to be plenty of people who work for the mainstream media who are concerned. The Content When one does pay attention to what is happening in the mainstream media, it would be easy for them to come to the conclusion that it is just one problem after another. The world is then in a mess and this is just how it is. If they were to take a closer look at what is taking place, they may see that one thing has lead to another. But even though this is the case, it could still be seen as something that is a fairly random process. By Design Another way of looking at this would be to say that the reason something is taking place in the world is because it was meant to take place. This doesn’t mean that it just happened; what it means is that certain events took place so that a specific outcome would arise. Each outcome then leads to another and as this takes place, it will allow an agenda to be fulfilled. From the outside, it can seem as though there is no connection, but to the insider, it will be clear that everything is going to plan. The Whole Picture This can be a plan that has been in the works for many, many years, and the people who are seeing it through at one stage are not necessarily going to be seeing it through at another. One reason for this is that human begins don’t live forever, and this emphasises how old the plan is. What can stop one from realising that it is not a random process is if they focus on one event, as this will stop them from being able to step back and see how there is more to it. One is then unable to see the forest for the trees, and what takes place in the world is likely to be a surprise. Conclusion It could be said that one must be paranoid if they believe that what takes place in the world is planned and doesn’t just happen. Yet it would be naive for one to believe that what is taking place in the world is happening randomly.
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Although relationships can be based on give and take, they can also be out of balance. When this happens, one person can give and another person can take, and this is going to lead to problems.
Normal However, this is not to say that either of these people will realise that they are out of balance, as it could be something that is outside of their awareness. If one is used to giving more than they receive, it could be how their life has always been. And if one is used to receiving more than they give, this could also be how their life has been for as long as they can remember. The person who always gives could be fed up with what is taking place, but the person who always receives could have a radically different experience. Part of Life Yet even though one person can be in a position where they have had enough of being taken advantage of, it doesn’t mean that they will do anything about it. For one thing, they could believe that it is just how life is. On the other hand, the other person can be used to getting what they want and so they might not see any reason why they should change. This is then part of their life and they will be happy for it to continue. Reaching Out As a result of this, the person who gives is more likely to reach out for support than the person who receives. This is because they are not going to be happy with how their life is; whereas the kind of experience that the other person has can stop them from doing anything. In fact, they could believe that other people should take care of their needs, and there will then be no reason for them to change. So if other people have a problem with their behaviour, it could be normal for them to dismiss it. A High Turnover Through being indifferent to the needs of others, it can mean that they don’t have the same people in their life for very long. In the beginning someone might not realise what is taking place and then as time passes, it could soon become clear. But even if this did have a negative effect on them, it could be an experience that soon passes. They could believe that there is nothing wrong with their behaviour, and that other people are the problem. Hangers-On When one is used having people in their life who generally take, they could find that the same people stay around. Now, this is not to say that they are always there; what it can come down to is that they may have been in one’s life for quite some time. At times, one might not hear form them for a few months, and at other times, they could hear from them a few times in the same week, for instance. The reason they stay around is not because they appreciate them, it is because they know they will be there to meet their needs. From Time To Time There could be moments when one does receive things from these kinds of people, but even if they do, it is unlikely to make up for everything they have given up until that point. Nevertheless, it could be seen as a big gesture in their eyes, and they could expect to receive something back. In fact, this could be something that only takes place when they want one to do something for them. It could mean doing something straight after, or they might expect something a few days later. The Reason One way of looking at this would be to say that one only hears from these people when they want something. It then won’t matter if they want to spend time with them or need their help, as it won’t be possible. It can then appear as though they no longer live in the same area, or seem as though they have left the planet. In reality, they are probably taking advantage of someone else, and until this changes, they could be out of reach. Distant Alternatively, one could get in touch with them to see how they are doing and they could answer their question/s, but that could be as far as it goes. They are then happy to extend themselves as one is giving their energy to them and yet they are not willing to return the favour. One is then making the effort to see how they are doing, but they are going to be wasting their energy. There is also the chance that they will ask how they are and say about meeting in a few days or in a week. Flaky After the time has passed, one could find that they can’t get hold of them, or they may say that they forgot all about it. They could say that they will contact them and then this doesn’t take place. Clearly, these are things that can happen from time to time, but this is not what is being spoken about here. What this relates to is when this is something that happens on a regular basis. A Decision When one is using to having people in their life who behave in this way, it will be important for them to think about whether they won’t to put up with it any longer. As all the time they put up with this behaviour, there is going to be no reason for these people to change. It might also be necessary for one to look into why they put up with, as this could be a sign that they don’t value themselves. Therefore, if they started to feel better about themselves, they might no longer put up with this kind of behaviour, and this would then create the space for them to attract people who are different. Awareness When this comes to changing how one feels about themselves, it might be necessary for them to work with a therapist. Or they could read up about this area and apply what they learn.
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If one wanted to change something about themselves in the past, they may have ended up reading a book, for instance. Nowadays, one can end up going onto a search engine and watching a video.
But if they were to read something, it could relate to what has been written on a blog. What this emphasises is how the internet has had a big effect on what approach people take when they want to move forward in their life. Visual Creatures One way of looking at this would be to say that it is now possible for one to learn and for their eyes to be appeased at the same time. Whereas in the past, learning wasn’t such a fulfilling experience for the eyes; it was more about what was going on in one’s brain. It is then similar to watching TV in black and white in one point in time and watching it in colour at another. As a result of this, learning can be something that can cause one to be more engaged and entertained. Different Needs However, just because human beings in general are visual creatures, it doesn’t mean that everyone likes to learn in the same way. On one hand, one might prefer to learn by watching videos. On the other hand, they may prefer to read books and/or articles in order to learn about something. At the same time, one could be in a position where they would rather listen to someone. A Deeper Understanding Based on past experiences, one may find that they are able to gain a better understanding of something by watching videos, or they may find that they need to read books in order for this to take place. If one can relate to the latter, it won’t matter whether they prefer to watch videos or not as it won’t be enough for them. What can play a part in this is that the videos that are available for free are often short, and this means that it will only allow them to get a surface level understanding of something. Yet if one only needs a few tips, for instance, this is not going to matter. Courses There is also the option for one to sign up for an online curse, and these videos can give one the understanding they need. This is likely to to mean that one will have to pay, but then this is part of life. Through paying for what they consume, they can have a greater appreciation for it, and they will be supporting the people who are supplying the information. Without this support, it is going to be a lot harder for these people to make their contribution to the world. The Information When one starts to look for the information they need, it might not bother them what someone looks like or how they come across; their only interest could be if someone is able to assist them. Through having this approach, it is going to mean that they are not going to be distracted. They are going to be focused on what the other person has to offer and this will allow them to stay on track. This doesn’t mean that one would overlook abusive or critical behaviour; what it means is that the image they present is not something they are too concerned about. A Bit of Both At the same time, one could find that they need to feel a connection with someone in order to learn from them. Once this is there, it will then be possible for them to listen to what is being said. This is then similar to one enjoying the first course of a meal and then wanting to eat the second course. Now, there is still the chance that one want enjoy it, just as they might not like what someone has to say after they like how they come across. A Critical Mind Through being this way, it can stop them from being taken for a ride, so to speak. They are not going to be willing to accept whatever comes out of someone’s mouth simply because they come across well. However, even if they don’t feel the need to no longer listen to what is being said, it doesn’t mean they will lose this ability. Just as one is not going to agree with everything a friend or family member says, for example. Hooked Alternatively, one could be drawn in by how someone comes across and it then might not matter what they come out with. The experience they have is then comparable to being attracted to someone and seeing the person as perfect. The teacher could come across as being extremely happy and upbeat, or as though they live the perfect life, for instance. One can then put them on a pedestal and lose the ability to think clearly. A Closer Look When this happens, it can cause one to be taken advantage of, and unless they are able to step back from what is taking place, they won’t be able to do anything about it. For example, if someone comes across as happy and they are giving advice on how to be happy, it would be easy to assume that they have the answers. Yet what this doesn’t take into account is the fact that this could be part of their personality as opposed to something they have developed. Or if they come across as though they know everything, one can go along with what they say no matter what comes out of their mouth. Awareness This doesn’t mean that everyone out there is out to deceive others; what it comes down to is that appearances can be deceiving. And that it is important for one think critically even if they feel drawn to someone.
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Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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