While someone could be in a position where their friendships are generally fulfilling, they could also have people around them who make their life harder than it needs to be. This is then going to be similar to how one can eat food that is good for them or they can eat food that isn’t.
Undermined At the same time, there is the chance that this is another area of their life that is having a negative effect on them. But with that aside, one could feel as though it isn’t safe for them to be themselves around these people. The people who they are close to could do far more damage than the people they are not close to. Thus, they could find that they feel better spending time with strangers than their friends. A Different Experience Alternatively, one could find that there are times when their friends treat them well and times when they don’t. As a result of this, they might not know where they stand with them, and this could cause them to experience anxiety and/or anger. And while they may only have people around them who don’t treat them well, it might not be this black and white. Instead, they could have a few friends who are different, and this is something that is likely to have a positive effect on them. Confusion If this is the case, these people could wonder why they spend time with people who treat them in this way. It could be hard for them to understand what is going on for them, and they could put it down to them having low self-esteem, for instance. Yet, if one comes across as confident and as though they have it all together, they could believe that it’s not because they don’t value themselves. In this case, one could spend time with people who take advantage of them in other ways. One-Sided For example, one could people in their life who are happy to take from them, and have no interest in giving anything back. It is then not a friendship that is based on give and take; it is completely out of balance. Their needs are typically going to be overlooked, and one could end up wearing themselves out through doing so much of these people. When they think about these people, they are unlikely to experience positive feelings. Speaking Out On one hand, they could have moments when they get angry and have a go at them. This could be something that does very little to change their behaviour, but that doesn’t mean that one will walk away from them. On the other hand, there could be moments when one acts in a passive aggressive manner. And although these people could understand why they are acting in this way, they could be completely oblivious. Comfortable One could also behave in both of these ways; it could all depend on how they feel and who has annoyed them. So regardless of whether one has people in their life who verbally abuse them and/or walk over them, for instance, it can be what feels comfortable. As if they were not getting anything from it, they wouldn’t continue to put up with these kinds of people. Now, this is not to say that one is consciously aware of why they put up with people like this. Normal If one has experienced life in this way for a as long as they can remember, it could be seen as just how life is. It is then not something that they are in control of; it is simply something they have to tolerate. However, if they were to look back on what took place during their childhood years, they may find their adult relationships are strangely similar. Thus, what is taking place can be seen as a reflection of what took place all those years ago. The Past is Present What this comes down to is that how one was treated during their early years would have laid down the foundations for what they would feel comfortable with as an adult. These experiences would be familiar, and what is familiar is what is classed as safe to the mind. It would have been completely irrelevant that one was being treated badly; the only thing that mattered is that this is what was familiar. This is one reason why it is so important that children are treated well by their caregivers. The Ideal The sooner one is able to realise what is happening, the sooner they can do something about it. What one can do when they are not aware of what is going on is to try and change their friends. This can be a sign that they have unconsciously projected their abusive parent/s onto their friends, and through changing them, it can be a way for them to change the parent/s that lives within them. The defence mechanism known as repetition compulsion is often mentioned when it comes to understanding this phenomenon. Awareness As one’s friends are not their parents, this is not going to get them very far, and so this could cause them to experience even more pain. Once they begin to heal the pain that is within them, they will gradually lose the desire to change other people, and the people who they attract will treat them with respect This is something that can take place through working with a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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While there are some people who generally think before they speak, there are others who don’t. As a result of this, they are likely to come across as being radically different human beings.
Holding Back When it comes to the former, it could be said that they are typically not going to say anything unless they have taken the time to think it through. This will give them the chance to reflect on what might happen if they were to say something. Even so, this doesn’t mean that they will need a few hours to go over something in their mind. At times, this could be something that only takes them a few minutes or seconds, and then they will express themselves. Pros and Cons The good thing about this is that it will lower their chances of saying the wrong thing, and this means that other people could have the tendency to respond to them in a positive manner. One could be seen as someone who is able to empathise with others, and they might enjoy being in their company. On the other hand, it is going to be normal for them to keep a lot of their views to themselves. Through being this way, it is going to cause them to water themselves down, so to speak. A Role It could be said that one is more concerned with doing everything they can to please others than they are with being themselves. Their true-self is then going to be put to one side and other people won’t know who they really are. This could be how one has been for as long as they can remember, and it is likely to cause them to experience a lot of frustration. Yet, one can have the inclination to cover up how they feel when they are in their company. No Holding Back When it comes to the latter, one is not going to feel the need to take their time before they say anything. Once they have something to say, they could simply open their mouth. In their eyes, it could be a waste of time to go over something, or this might not be something that even crosses their mind. One will have their own views, and they won’t stop themselves from sharing them. Two Sides Some of the people they come into contact with could see them as lacking the ability to put themselves in other people shoes. They could say that it is as if they don’t realise that people have feelings. One is then human like everyone else, but they are missing something that other humans have. There will be others who have a different outlook, and they could say that they are just honest. Authentic In this case, one has no interest in pleasing others; the only thing that concerns them is expressing themselves. How they come across with one person can then be how they come across with everyone. So although they are likely to push people away through being this way, they could believe that it is worth it. Therefore, pleasing themselves is going to be far more important than pleasing others. The Ideal Along with these two extremes, there are naturally going to be people who fall in the middle of the spectrum. It could be said that it will be far healthier for someone to have the ability to speak their mind and to keep their views to themselves. This is not to say that this will allow one to always make the right decisions; what it means is that they won’t be used to oppressing themselves and neither will they be used to overlooking other people’s feelings. One then has the ability to think before they speak, but at the same time, this doesn’t stop them from being able to express their views. Two Parts When one does everything they can do make sure they don’t upset other people, it can show that they believe they are responsible for how others respond to what they say. Through having this perspective, it is not going to be a surprise for them to worry about saying the wrong thing. Other people are then defenceless, and it is up to them to do everything they can to protect them. One could feel as though they are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders and/or and it could be as if they are walking on egg shells. Stepping Back If one was to take the time to reflect on their behaviour, it might allow them to change their perspective. This could be a time where one could ask themselves if other people are responsible for how they respond. During this time, they may think about how it is usually what takes place in their head that defines how they respond and not what other people say. Thus, while other people do play a part, they are not in complete control. A New Angle One might then come to see that while there are times when it will be important for them to keep their mouth closed, it is not always going to be this way. If they were to express their views and this was to upset or offend someone, it could be more about what is going on for the other person than it is about what they have said. As if they were to keep their views to themselves, it would stop them from being able to add their own contribution to the world. They would also be playing a part in causing some people to believe that they are not responsible for their own responses. Awareness There will be moments when it is one’s best interest to keep their views to themselves and moments when it won’t be; this is something that one will have to decide for themselves. If one feels as though they unable to express their views, the assistance of a therapist may be needed.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
A number of days have passed since Donald Trump won the presidential election, but this doesn’t mean that everyone has come to terms with what has taken place. There are plenty of people who can’t get their head around what has happened.
Two Sides This is something that can relate to the people who wanted Hillary to win and to those who didn’t vote. When it comes to the people in the first category, someone may have thought that there was only one candidate who could win. It was then a case of when, not if, Hillary would end up in the white house, and so it will be normal for them to be in a state of shock. If someone didn’t vote but still expected her to win, the impact might not be as severe. Another Factor However, although they might find it hard to comprehend what has taken place, it doesn’t mean that they will allow the result to define their life. They may think about how there is nothing they can do, and that it is important for them to carry on with their life. Alternatively, there is the chance that the only reason they didn’t vote is because so many people were voting for her. It was then not necessary for them to get involved, as it was completely one-sided anyway. Caught Up Now, there is always the chance that someone will be able to move on with their life even if they had voted for Hillary. They may also realise that there is nothing that they can do about the result. Yet, there is the chance that they are too attached to simply move on, and it could take them quite some time to return to how they were. At the same time, they may not want to carry on with their life. The Next Stage If they are not willing to accept the result, they may look into what they can do to change things in the future. This can be seen as the route that one might take if they were to go about things in the right way. Another thing they could do is to criticise or attack people who voted for trump, and this could be seen as the wrong approach to take. Through acting in this way, they are going to be acting in a destructive manner. A Poor Loser This is the kind of behaviour that can occur when children take part in sports. If a child was to lose a race, for instance, they could end up taking their frustration out on the other children. At this age, it could be seen as something they will soon grow out of; that’s as long as they are given the right guidance. Thus, as they get older, they will be able to regulate what is taking place within them and to respect other people’s boundaries. Stuck Clearly, this doesn’t always take place, and it then won’t matter how many years pass. When someone is unable to contain their inner experience, it won’t be a surprise for them to put other people down for the decisions they have made. And in some cases, they could even violate their boundaries and attack them. They could go one step further and destroy other people’s private property. The News Source When it comes to why someone would be shocked about the presidential election result, it can be due to what they were told by the mainstream media. This is likely to have been their primary source of information. One would have been able to read articles that spoke about why Hillary would win, and polls that showed that Trump had no chance whosever. It wouldn’t have mattered if they picked up a paper, listened to the radio or went online as the information would have been the same. One Outcome Through being told for so long and by so many news sources that Hillary would win, it would be strange for them to be anything but shocked. The evidence was there and, out of nowhere, Trump won the election. Yet, if one was to ask a Trump supporter if they were surprised by the result, they could be in for another shock. They could tell them that they expected him to win, and that there was a lot of evidence to support this. Another Source This could be a time when they will point out what they heard about from the alternative media. As although the mainstream media had Hillary down to win, this source showed that trump could win. As a result of this, there would be no reason for Hillary supporters (or anyone else for that matter) to be in such shock if they had paid attention to this source of information. One way of looking at this would be to say that the mainstream media just happened to be wrong, and the alternative media just happened to be right. A Closer Look Another way of looking at it would be to say that the mainstream media wasn’t interested in informing people. Their priority was to do everything they could to get Hillary into the white house, and this is why they had to lie. The alternative media, on the other hand, were there to inform people about what was actually taking place. The former had a vested interest and the latter was doing what the former was supposed to be doing. Conclusion It could then be said that the mainstream media has played a part in the shock that some people are experiencing. The source that was supposed to pass on what was taking place had another agenda. The evidence that they had was not based on reality; it was based on their attempt to try and influence the presidential election. It might then more appropriate to say that the mainstream media exists to create the news and not to report it.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If one felt tired, it might not matter if someone asked them if they would like to go out. They could put their own needs first and say that they haven’t got the energy to do anything.
This could be what always takes place, or it could be something that happens from time to time. If this is how they generally behave when they don’t want to do something, it is going to show that they are able to stand their ground. Another Perspective Another way of looking at it might be to say that they are stubborn, and that they are not willing to go with the flow. Thus, instead of being able to let go of the need to be in control, they need to have their hands on the steering wheel, so to speak. Through being this way, it is likely to stop them from being able to accept new opportunities that arise. And if they are this way when they feel tired, they could also be this way when they aren’t. Out of Balance It could then be said that while one is in touch with their masculine aspect, their feminine aspect is being ignored. This is why they are able to listen to themselves but find it difficult to go along with other peoples suggestions. What this will allow them to do is to make sure that people don’t walk over them, and this is clearly a good thing. The downside to this is that it will stop them from being able to embrace life. An Analogy This can be similar to what would happen if a small group of soldiers, whilst guarding a castle, ended up firing at everyone they saw. As although some of these people could try and attack them, there are going to be others who are there for different reasons. There will be times when people will have food for them, and they could even have important news for them. Having this approach might keep them alive, but what it won’t do is allow them to receive what they need. A Big Difference If one had more than once approach, it would allow them protect themselves on one hand and to receive what they need on the other. This could mean that there will be moments when their needs are not met, and they might even feel as though their boundaries have been crossed. Still, it is not always going to be possible for one’s life to go as they would like it to go. However, through being able to say ‘yes’ from time to time, their world will open up. The Other Side It wouldn’t be accurate to say that there are only two options here though, as one could also go to the other extreme. If this was to happen, they would find it a challenge to stand their ground. In fact, it could be more or less impossible for them to do so, and it will then be normal for them to be walked over. One is then not going to be closed off from life, but they will have no way of protecting themselves. Overeating For example, if a dog wasn’t fed by their owner/s, they would live for very long. This is why it is going to be vital for them to be fed at the right time, and this will then give them the nutrients they need to survive. Even so, if they were fed too much, it would be just as bad as not feeding them. As the dog doesn’t have the ability to tell them when they are full, it will be down to them to manage what they eat. Drawing the Line If they were to simply feed their dog whenever they wanted to be fed, for instance, they would do more harm than good. One is then not putting their foot down; they are going with the flow. Through embracing their masculine aspect, it will allow them to do what is best for their dog. This shows how important it is for one to be able to listen to both sides of their nature, as opposed to only accepting one side. Boundaries What this shows is how important boundaries are when it comes to living a fulfilling life. There are also going to be some people who will have a greater need to stand their ground than others. This is not because they are more important; it can be due to how sensitive they are. Through being this way, saying ’yes’ when they should be saying ‘no’ can have a far greater effect on them. Highly Sensitive Person As they are not going to be able to handle a lot of stimulation, they will probably need to spend a certain amount of time in their own company. So if they were to find it hard to say ‘no’ when someone asked them if they would like to go out, there is a strong chance that they would be used to feeling burnt out. In addition to this, they will need to spend time around people who understand them; if they were to spend time around people who lacked empathy, they could end up believing that there is something wrong with them. If they found it hard to say ‘no’, they could have the tendency to allow people like this into their life. Awareness If one has gone along with others want for most of their life, this is what can be feels comfortable. The trouble is, it is not having a positive effect on their life, and this is why it needs to change. This is something that could change if one was to be become aware of their behaviour and then to act differently. Or, they may need to reach out for the support of a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Celebrity Endorsement: Can A Celebrity Ruin Their Career By Endorsing A Presidential Candidate?15/11/2016
When someone has achieved a certain level of fame, there are a number of things that they can do. On one hand, they could use it to increase their income; with their being a number of ways that this can be done.
A Good Idea In addition to what this will do to their bank balance, there will also be effect that is has on their brand. One could stay on the same path, or they could end up branching out into other areas. There could then come a point in time when they will be famous for other reasons. For example, they could start out by singing or playing sport, and end up going into acting or presenting. Giving Back At the same time, they may decide to look into what they can do to help others, and there are going to be number of things that they can do. They may end up giving a certain amount of money to charity, or they could donate something instead. And while this may only happen from time to time, it could also be something that will take place on a regular basis. One is then going to be using their position to make a positive difference in the world. Both Alternatively, they could feel the need to go to the next step and to make a difference in other people’s lives. Their focus is then not just going to be on their own lives, it will also be directed outwards. This doesn’t mean that other people will also realise what has taken place though, as they might prefer to keep it to themselves. If they were to keep it to themselves, they are still going to make a difference, but it might not have an effect on how they are generally perceived by others. A Bigger impact Yet, if they were to let other people know about what is taking place, this is unlikely to be the case. Their image could then slightly improve, or it could have a massive effect on how they are perceived by the general public. At the same time, they could say that they are not going it to improve their image; they are simply doing it to help others. There is also the chance the first approach wouldn’t have a positive effect on everyone, as some people could believe that they are only helping others to look good. Word of Mouth Ultimately, what matters is that they are doing what they can to make a difference in other peoples lives. And even if they were to keep it to themselves, it could end up coming out due to what other people say. Other people are then going to find out about what they have done, but it won’t be because they have told them. It could be said that it will be better for other people to find out indirectly than it would be for them to find out directly. Another Option It is not always going to be necessary for them to give money, and this is down to the fact that they could use their status to make a difference. For one thing, they could appear at a charity event. Another thing they could do is to give exposure to what someone else is doing to assist others. It is not going to be hard for them to do this if they are on social media; they can just share their page on their wall, for instance. Politics It doesn’t have to stop there though, as they could speak up when an election is about to take place. When this happens, they could end up telling other people who they should vote for. During the election, they could share pictures of themselves with a presidential candidate, and this could show that they are being paid to support them. Or, they could be on the side lines, so to speak, and support them from a distance. An Important Role Based on what they know about each candidate, they could believe that the one they are going to vote for is the best one. Through having this understanding, it is going to be vital for them to inform other people. And as there are going to plenty of people who admire them, they are naturally going to have a lot of influence. Therefore, there are going to be people who will vote for whoever they suggest; it won’t matter what they stand for. A Different Outcome The trouble is that not everyone who admires them is going to respond in this way, and this is not much of a surprise. But if they are famous musician, for instance, and people are only drawn to them because they like their music, this is to be expected For example, if a famous sports star became a vegetarian, they probably wouldn’t expect all their fans to do the same thing even though they enjoy watching them play. At the end of the day, there is not going to be no reason for their fans to vote for the same person as them, no matter how much they appreciate their music. The Downside But while some people could simply ignore their suggestion, they could also begin to see them differently. Some of these people could believe that they haven’t got a clue what they are talking about, and they might even see them as being condescending. If a celebrity was to criticise the people who are voting for someone else, this could do a lot of damage. Even so, they could say that they don’t care what people think of them, and that they are entitled to share their views. Conclusion That would be one way of looking at it; it is not as if they are children after all. Yet, if it wasn’t for these people they wouldn’t be where they are, and this is why it is important for them to think about what consequences may arise before they share their views on something.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Presidential Election: Are Some People Using The Presidential Election Result To Avoid Themselves?14/11/2016
Even though that the presidential election is over, it doesn’t mean that everyone is going to carry on with their life. Instead, there are going to be people who are consumed by what has taken place.
This is not to say that these people were not this way during the run-up to the election, as there is the chance that they were engrossed in what was taking place right from the start. At this point, it wouldn’t have mattered if they were supporting Hilary or Trump, and this is because either of them could have ended up in the white house at this stage The Media But if one only paid attention to the mainstream media, they may have believed that it was a one horse race. According to their polls, for example, it was clear that Hillary was going to win the presidential election. On the other hand, if they took the time to listen to what the alternative media had to say, they may have come to see that it wasn’t this black and white; with there being a strong chance that Trump would win. Working Together One way of looking at this would be to say that the mainstream media just happened to get it wrong, and the alternative media simply got lucky. Another way of looking at it would be to say that that alternative media was telling people the truth and the mainstream media wasn’t. And based on what has been leaked online, it has become clear that the mainstream media was colluding with Hillary. Therefore, the only thing they were concerned about was making sure she would be the next president of America. Two Things It could then be said that not only did they fail to inform people about what was taking place; they also failed to get Hillary into the white house. Ultimately, the mainstream media should only have one purpose, and that is to inform people. Thus, if they did what they were supposed to do, it would be a lot harder for them to fail. In this instance, they would have given people what they needed in order to make the best decision. A One-Off The outcome is likely to have surprised the mainstream media; especially as they have so much control over what people think. This could be seen as one of the rare moments when they were unable to fulfil their agenda. There could be something to this, but what it could also show is that more and more people are starting to realise what is taking place. Out of their need to find out what is actually taking place, they are looking towards the alternative media. The Outcome If someone wanted to Trump to win, this could be a time when they are extremely pleased with what has happened. They may have thought this would happen or they might not, but this is unlikely to bother them. Yet, now that they have the result that they wanted, they could simply carry on with the rest of their life. One may think about what has happened from time to time, however, they could believe that is it important for them to play their part. A Saviour In this sense, they are not going to be looking for someone else to come and change their life. It could be said that this will be the best approach to take, as it is unlikely that anyone else will do it for them. If they were to believe that their life is going to be different now that Trump has won the election, they could be in for a big sunrise. What they could find is that their life will gradually end up getting worse; that’s if they were to sit around and wait for their life to change. A New Beginning A more empowering way of looking at it might be for them to imagine that a light has come on, and that it is no longer as dark as it was. Through being able to see clearly, it will give them the opportunity to do what they were unable to do before. The fact that the light has come on won’t necessarily redefine their life; what it will do is make it easier for them to take action. The steps that they take will then allow them to gradually improve alter their life. The End of the World If someone wanted to Hillary to win, their experience could be radically different. In their eyes, it could be as if their whole life has come to an end, and they could be in a state of shock. What this can show is that they believed that the only way their life would change is if Hillary had won, or that the change they were experiencing is now going to come to an end. There is then going to be nothing that they can do to change their life. Caught Up The part that they can play on this earth is then going to be put to one side, and they could end up feeling like a victim. There could also be moments when they end up criticising people who voted for Trump, as this will allow them to avoid how they feel. Through feeling angry and believing that they are superior to the people who voted for him, they will be able to experience a sense of power. It could then be normal for them to rise up when they feel angry, and then to fall back down again when they face how they feel at a deeper level. Awareness If they were able to take a step back from it all, they may find that getting caught up in the presidential election allows them to avoid what is taking place in their own life. Perhaps they feel insignificant, and by focusing on what is taking place, it allows them to disconnect from how powerless they feel. Even so, focusing on what is taking place around them is going to cause them to waste their time and energy. The sooner they focus on what they can change and let go of what they can’t, the sooner their life will improve.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Celebrity Endorsements: Are Celebrities Too Out Of Touch To Endorse Presidential Candidates?14/11/2016
In the same way that food brands often rely on different celebrities to sell their products; presidential candidates can also look towards these kinds of people in order to encourage people to vote for them. When it comes to the former, it could be said that the stakes are relatively low.
If one was to eat something that has been endorsed by a celebrity, it is unlikely to have an effect on the people around them. No matter what they consume, their life will go on, and so will everyone else’s. Health Problems However, if they eat something like this on a regular basis, it might have a negative effect on their life. The reason for this is that is that it is not uncommon for celebrities to endorse fizzy drinks or food that is far from healthy. One could then end up suffering as time goes by, and as a result of this the people they are close to could also experience pain. Yet, as long as they have a good level of self-control they should be fine. The Only Reason It would be easy for someone to say that these products can’t be that bad or these celebrities wouldn’t put their face behind them. But what this would overlook is that this is likely to be a way for them to earn money. Or, if they were to consume what they endorse, it could only take place from time to time. They may be only too aware of how bad it would be for them to consume them on a regular basis. The Point of Focus In a lot of cases, people are going to see their favourite celebrities and end up buying what they are promoting. This will be the ideal scenario for the company that is paying them so much money. When this happens, someone is not going to think about how healthy something is; they will just want to try it because a celebrity they admire is eating/drinking it. This shows how much influence these people have, and this is why they are paid so much money. A Different World If one was to look at what these kinds of people eat, they may find that they eat a very strict diet. Not only this, they might also have a number of chefs who prepare their food for them. The average person is then going to find it extremely hard to relate to these kinds of people when it comes to food. Through having the level of fame and fortune that they have, it won’t be necessary for them to take care of this area of their life. Politics But when they are putting their face behind a presidential candidate, it could be said that the stakes are going to be a lot higher. As if one was to go along with their suggestion, there is as strong chance that it would affect them and other people. Along with the effect that is will have in their own country; there will also be the impact it will have on the entire world. Even so, if one admires a celebrity, they could simply vote for who they endorse. The Same Reason Ultimately, a presidential candidate is going to realise how much power they have, and this is why they are likely to pay them so much money. Having someone like this on their side will make their life so much easier. One won’t care about what they stand for; they only thing they will focus on are the celebrities who are endorsing them. The celebrities can be chosen because they are popular, or there could be more to it. Identity Politics In this case, their gender, race and/or sexual orientation could also play a part. Through doing this, they hope that it will encourage people to vote for them due to these reasons, and not because of what they stand for or what their policies are. When a celebrity endorses them at a rally, they could take part in a performance and/or they could talk about how they are the best option. This won’t stop there though, as they could use their social media accounts to spread their views. Stepping Back Nevertheless, if one was to put aside the admiration that they have for a certain celebrity and to imagine what it might be like to experience life as they do, they might begin to wonder why they should listen to these people. In the same way that they are unlikely to have to prepare their own food; there are likely to be a number of other things that they don’t need to worry about. For one thing, there is a strong chance that these people won’t have to worry about money. They could also live in a gated community, and so they won’t have to worry about their safety, amongst other things. Another planet When it comes to how they experience life, it is going to be as if they live on a completely different planet. Therefore, although they are endorsing one candidate over another, it’s not as if it’s going to affect them. This is going to be similar to if one was to stand by one football team and to overlook another; it is not going to make much of a difference. They don’t play for either team; they are simply a supporter. Out of Touch Regardless of who wins or loses, one can carry on with the rest of their life. In the same way, a celebrity can also carry on with their life no matter who wins, and this is bound to be a life that is very fulfilling. When celebrity experiences life in this way; how can they relate to what the average person is going through? Perhaps there was a time in their life when they could, but those days are going to be long gone. Conclusion It might be better for these celebrities to focus on what they do best, and for one to pay attention to what each candidates stands for. After all, it is their future that could be at stake; whereas these celebrities can be in a position where they don’t need to worry about who will win. One way of looking at it would be to say that a celebrity is abusing their position when they endorse a presidential candidate. They are good at one thing (or maybe a number of things) and this then sets them up to believe they know what is best for other people.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Relationships: Is It The Future And Not The Present That Holds Some Relationships Together?13/11/2016
If one was to think about why they are a relationship with someone, they could begin to list what they like about them. This is then going to be a time when they will go over what they bring to their life.
Having them in their life is not simply going to give them someone to spend time with; it is going to allow their life far more fulfilling than it would be if this wasn’t the case. What they bring to the table, so to speak, is not going to be something that the average person can offer them. A Special Connection Perhaps one could describe this person as being the one, or they might even see them as their soul mate. At the same time, they could just believe that they are with the right person. In addition to this, the people around then could also have the same outlook as they do. This might have a positive effect on what they believe, or they could see it as being something that doesn’t have a big effect on their outlook. Looking Back On one hand, there will be what their connection is like in present moment, and on the other hand, there will be what has taken place in the past. When thinks about the past, there could a number of memories that come to the surface. This doesn’t mean that the only memories that arise will cause them to have a big smile on their face and a warm feeling in their heart, as this is unlikely to take place. There can be times when they remember experiencing some kind of conflict, for instance. Going Through It During these moments, they may have taken the time to work though what took place, as opposed to allowing it to build-up. There would then have been no reason for one negative moment to have a lasting effect on their relationship. This could even have been a time where they agreed to disagree, and this would have shown the level of respect they have for each other. And as there are two people in the relationship, it is to be expected that there will be moments when conflict arises. The Opposite If this didn’t happen, it could show that they are not paying attention to what is taking place within them. They could then have moments when they are focused on pleasing the other person, and this would mean that there are no longer two people in the relationship. In the short-term this would allow one to avoid pain, but as time passes this pain will gradually being it appear. One could then explode for no apparent reason, and this could create even more damage. Looking Ahead However, one won’t need to think about what their relationship is like or to think about what has taken place in the past in order to feel good about their relationship. What they will also be able to do is to think about what will happen in the future. This could be a time when they will think about moving in together, and they may even imagine what it will be like to get married and/or to have children, amongst other things. One is then going to have three places to visit when it comes to their relationship. Caught Up In The Past Yet, even though one might be in this position, there is also the chance that their attention is focused on what took place in the past. What this can show is that their relationship is no longer alive, and that they are holding onto the past as a way to avoid what is currently taking place. Through focusing on how things were, they can delude themselves into believe that it will only be a matter of time before everything will return to how it was, or they could actually believe that their relationship is still as good as it was. Trapped One could even think about future, and see this as a time when everything will change for the better. Now, there is always the chance that this could take place, but it could be said that it is highly unlikely. It might be better for one to get in touch with reality and to face the pain the pain that will arise. As if the relationship is finished, the sooner they walk away the sooner they will be able to find someone who is right for them. Caught Up In The Future Alternatively, one could find that they are so caught up in the future that it stops them from being able to see that their relationship is over. In fact, one could be oblivious to what is actually going on. What they are looking forward to is then going to distract them from reality, and this will be what gives them the energy to continue. The idea of getting married and/or having children could be what keeps them going. Stepping Back Unless one is able to take their focus away from the future, it is going to be possible for them to face reality. This is not going to be easy, and they will have to let go of the future they had created in their mind. What they can focus on is that they are not going to live forever and the longer they are caught up in an illusion, the less time they will have to meet someone who actually wants what they want. The pain that they have to go through will be nothing like the pain they would have to face if they were to wait until it was too late. Awareness This is not something that was has to do by themselves, as they can reach out for external support. This can be provided by a trusted friend and/or a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Now that the presidential election is over, it can’t be denied that some people’s emotions have been running high. In some cases, what has taken place is seen as the worst possible outcome, and for others, it is something they have dreamed about for a quiet some time.
Along with this, there are likely to be others who are not affected by what has taken place. This can show that they didn’t follow what was taking place and, now that it is over, their life is not going to be any different. The Fallout But if it is, it could be down to what the people around them are going through. If one was to go into work, for instance, they could come into contact with people who have been affected by the result. At the same time, they could simply go onto social media and see that a number of their ‘friends’ have plenty to say about it all. Still, while one will be able to get away from social media if they want to take a break from it all; they won’t be able to do this when they are at work. A Suggestion What they could do is ask the people around them if they could keep their views to themselves, whilst they are in this environment. This would then allow them to talk about something else. Nonetheless, this doesn’t mean that someone’s mood will change, as what they are going through could stand out like sore thumb. And if they serve customers, these people could talk about what has taken place. Isolation Therefore, unless one takes a step back from it all and goes somewhere where they won’t be disturbed, it is going to be difficult for them to get away from it all. This could be hard for them to do, and what might be even harder could be for them to stay away from social media altogether. If this was to happen, their friends and/or family might begin to wonder what is going on. They might even assume that the result of the presidential election has had a negative effect on them. Easier to Handle But if one had the option of being around people who wanted Hillary to win or those who wanted Trump to win, they might prefer to go with the second option. This is not necessarily going to be because they would have voted for him; it can be due to the mood they are likely to be in. These people can feel energised by the result, or at the very least they are unlikely to be full of doom and gloom. On the other hand, it is not going to be a surprise to meet a Hillary supporter who is feels completely deflated. Hard To Believe If one was to ask them why they feel this way, they could talk about how they expected Hillary to win. They might even say that they thought that America would have a female president for the first time in its history. This could be an outcome that they had thought about since Hillary announced that she would was running for president early last year. Based on this, they would have had over a year a half to think about it. Positive Feedback In addition to what has been taking place in their own mind, there would also have been what they heard about from the mainstream media. This source of information said that it was highly unlikely that Trump would win. They did this through not only talking about why this wouldn’t; it also occurred through the different polls that they had conducted. And as this source is simply there to inform people, there would have been no reason for them to ignore what they were told. Up and Then Down Thus, the signs were all there that Hillary would win and, out nowhere, Trump ended up winning the election. At one stage, one was looking forward to what was going to happen, and at another, they could have been in shock. A sense of loss can then arise, and this can be more to do with what they thought would happen than what they have actually lost. This is due to the fact that Hillary wasn’t the president before and she won’t be the next one either. Grief Their inner experience can then be similar to what they would go through if a loved one passed on or if a relationship was to come to an end, for instance. It is then going to be normal for them to feel sad and to cry. Having said that, they could stop themselves from feeling this vulnerable, and they could end up feeling extremely angry instead. Alternatively, they could just end up feeling depressed and disconnect from how they feel. A Closer Look There is the chance that one could be angry one moment and sad the next, and then before long they could feel very low. This is not to say that everyone is going to respond in the same way, as not everyone is the same. However, even though the mainstream media has been talking about this and even offered their support, it wouldn’t be right to say that they have haven’t played a part. The reason for this is that they created the impression that Hillary would win; when this was far from certain. False Hope In the same way that someone’s partner could say that they want to be with them, even though they are unsure; the mainstream media set people up to believe that Hillary would win even though this was not the complete truth. The primary reason they said this was to try to convince people to vote for her and to discourage people from voting for Trump. It was then not that they were reporting on what was actually taking place; they were creating their own news. Through doing this, they ended up creating the illusion that it would only be a matter of time before Hillary would be in the white house. A Balanced Approach If the mainstream media told people what was actually taking place as opposed to doing everything they could to make Hillary the next president, there would have been no reason for her supporters to feel so let down. This is because they would have known for months that there was no guarantee that she would win the election. There could still be a sense of loss, but it is unlikely to be as strong as what some of her supporters are currently going through. In the same way that someone could prepare themselves if their partner told them that they are unsure if they are going to stay around. Conclusion The mainstream media set people up to suffer through lying to them, but instead of holding their hands up, they are pretending that they are just a shocked as they are. But if they have been lying for so long, there is going to be no reason for them to change. When it comes to being informed about the world, the mainstream media is about as useful as a chocolate teapot. The alternative media is a far better option, and even this source needs to be scrutinised.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Therapy: Can Someone Become Dependent On Their Therapist If They Are Emotionally Unstable?11/11/2016
When someone is in a position where they find it hard to feel at peace within, it can be a challenge for them to be able to handle life. This is down to the fact that this could be something that affects every part of it.
And if they were to think about how long their life has been this way for, they could find that it has been this way for as long as they can remember. As a result of this, it could be seen as a normal part of life. Not This Far However, while one could step back and reflect on what is taking place; this might be something that doesn’t take place. Yet, if they have a lot going within them, this is not much of a surprise This is because their emotional brain is going to have the tendency to override their thinking brain. There is also the chance that one is going to be used to having a brain that is on high alert, and it might not matter what is going on around them. Overwhelmed During these moments, it is going to be more or less impossible for them to function as whole human being. One could come to the conclusion that they are missing something, and this is why they are experiencing life in this way. And if they were to try to explain what they are going though to someone, it might be hard for them to relate to their experience. What they could say is that one needs to settle their mind down, as this is what is causing them to experience problems. Two Responses After hearing this, one might wonder if this is the case, and if their life would improve if they were to change their thoughts. This could cause them to look into how their mind works, and it will be important for them to monitor their mind. Alternatively, one could start to think about how this person doesn’t understand what they are going through. They could even tell them that this has nothing to do with their thoughts, and that something else is in control of how they feel. The First Approach If one did follow this person’s advice, they may find that they begin to settle down after a little while. It could then be said that this person knew what they were talking about, and it was a good idea that one listened. At the same time, this might be something that doesn’t have an effect on them. Or, if it does, it could similar the effect one would have on a tree if they tried to cut it down by using a knife. The Same Situation One can then be no better off than if they ignored their advice and continued to do the same thing. But as their day-to-day life is so challenging, it is going to be in their best interest to keep an open mind. If one didn’t listen to this person’s advice, it could show that they don’t have an open mind, or it could be a sign that they have already tried this approach. When emotional instability is seen as the result of what is taking place in the mind, it can be based on the belief that one’s thoughts control how they feel. The Cause This is the kind of outlook that someone is likely to have if they are into self-development, and as it is espoused by so many people, it can end up being seen as the truth. Yet, if this was the truth, this approach would work for everyone. Intimacy When it comes to what their relationships are like, it could be a challenge for them to stay with the same person for a long period of time. They might have the tendency to idealise the people they are attracted to; with one believing that someone else will complete them. Once it becomes clear that this is not going to happen, one could devalue the other person and end up walking away. This area of their life is the going to be full of highs and lows, and their friendships could also be the same. Up and Down It might not be necessary for one to be in a relationship for this to take place though, as one could be used to having mood swings. The smallest thing could send them into a downward spiral, and then before long they could soon be on their feet. If they have to wait for something, it could cause them to feel angry and frustrated; they could then find it hard to delay gratification. As a result of this, it could then stop them from being able to make progress in their career. Reaching Out These are just a few of the symptoms that one can experience when their emotions are out of control, and not everyone is going to have the same experience. Even so, it may be a good idea for them to reach out for the right support. Though working with a therapist, one can gradually begin to develop the ability to regulate their own emotions. In the beginning, one can feel more at easy in their presence, and then as time passes, this can take place when they are not in their company. A Process When it comes to how long this will take, it can depend on a number of different factors. The kind of relationship they have with their therapist, how often they have therapy and how they respond to it can all play a part. After a number of months or even years, one could find that their life has radically changed. The time, effort and money that they put into their own growth would then have been worth it. The Crooked Cure On the other hand, one could find that even after working with a therapist for quite some time, they might only be able to settle down when they are in their therapist’s presence. This can then mean that they are dependent on them. Now, it could be said that this is not bad per se; as it can be normal for one to feel dependent when they are doing deep work. Yet, if one was to stay in this state and their ability to regulate their own emotions doesn’t improve, it might be a good idea for them to take a step back. Awareness There is no reason for one to make a rash decision here; they can take their time to reflect on what is taking place. There is no such thing as a one size fits all approach when it comes to therapy, and this is why one will need to have an open mind. If they believe that they are only getting so far, it might mean that they need to work with someone else. Then again, they might need to try a completely different approach.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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