It has been said that human beings are social creatures and this is something that is hard to deny. Not only do human beings need others in order to survive, they also need others in order to thrive.
Still, this doesn’t mean that every human being on this planet will be able to accept this, though. There are naturally going to be some people who say that they don’t need other people to handle life, and perhaps they could survive. The Big Part Yet, even if one was able to take care of their basic needs, what they would miss out on is human contact. In the short-term this might not be a problem, but as time went by, this would most likely have a negative impact on them. The reason one can believe that they could handle life without this can be because they have more or less always had it. If they knew what life was like without it, they would probably have a different outlook. Two Parts With this in mind, there is going to be what someone is dependent on others for when it comes to their basic needs and there will be what they need others for when it comes to their higher needs. The ideal then, when it comes to living a fulfilling life, will be for someone to make sure that they don’t overlook their needs. Once their basic needs are met and they have deeper connections with others, it will most likely allow them to live a life that is worth living. Having a sense of purpose is also going to be another important component. A Number of Benefits When one spends time around their close friends, it will have a positive effect on their whole system. Their being will most likely feel more at ease and their sense of self can end up being strengthened. What this comes down to is that even though one may have the ability to regulate their own emotions, being around people like this also regulates their system. Through being in their presence, it can then feel like their system is being soothed and given what it needs. Interdependent The acknowledgement and positive feedback that they receive will be like food for their sense of self. So, just as their body will need food and water to be able to function, their sense of self will also need to be fed. Like a plant without water, their sense of their self would gradually die without this feedback. If one finds this hard to believe, they only need to look into what happens to people who are put into solitary confinement. Other Interactions When one is at work or goes shopping, for instance, this will also play an important role in their overall health. There is less chance of them receiving the kind of feedback that they would receive from their friends or even their family, but their being can still be soothed and their sense of self can be strengthen. If one has different hobbies that involve other people, this will be another part of their life that will have a positive impact on them. These can be things that allow them to feel competent, connected and part of something. Time for Self When they spend time by themselves, it will allow them to connect to who they are and to reflect on what has been going on. Thus, while spending time around others will be essential, it will be just as essential for them to spend time by themselves. The amount of time that they need to spend around others and by themselves can depend on a number of different factors. There may be times when they need to spend more time by themselves and times when they need to spend more time around others. Two Extremes If someone was to lose the desire to spend time around others it would undoubtedly cause them problems. In the same way, if one was to lose the desire to spend time by themselves, it would also lead to problems. When one no longer has the desire to spend time around others, it could show that they have recently lost a loved one. Due to the pain that they are in, they will just want to be by themselves. A Lot to Handle They could experience a deep sense of emptiness in their chest and a sinking feeling in their stomach; it could be as if these parts of them have retracted from life. At other times, they could be overwhelmed with sadness and grief, and they may feel as though their life no longer has any meaning. The key will be for them to reach out for support and to work through the pain that they are in. Isolating themselves from others might feel comfortable, but it will only make things worse in the long-term. Another Factor What can also play a part here is that the pain that they are in might not only relate to what has recently taken place, it could go back even further. Their early years may have been a time when they experienced a lot of neglect, for instance. This would have been a time in their life when they experienced loss on a regular basis, loading their chest up with grief and sadness in the process. What has taken place in their adult years will then have triggered the trauma that they experienced as a child. Awareness Before they lost a loved one they might not have been aware of this pain but now that something has happened, it will have brought it up to the surface. There is also the chance that a breakup is what has triggered this pain. If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Although it is part of the human experience to have needs, it doesn’t mean that every human being feels comfortable with their needs. Along with this, there are going to be people who are rarely, if ever, aware of what their needs are.
Due to this, not everyone is going to have the same relationship or connection with their needs. Clearly, the ideal will be for someone to be in tune with their needs and to feel comfortable enough to express them. The Perfect Scenario Still, if someone is in this position, it doesn’t mean that their needs will always be met. But while there will be moments when their needs won’t be met, they are not going to be accustomed to living in this way. Ultimately, there are going to be the needs that other people can meet and there will be the needs that they can’t meet. Ergo, there are going to be certain needs that one will need to take care of themselves. Part of Life After all, one is going to be an adult not a child, meaning that they will have the ability to meet a number of their own needs. Through accepting this and taking care of certain needs, they will put less pressure on the people in their life. If, on the other hand, they expected the people in their life to fulfil all of their needs, it would most likely create a lot of tension in their life. A few of these people might end even up pulling away. The Difference One would then be behaving more like a dependent child than an adult, and this would mean that one wouldn’t be able meet anyone else’s needs. Instead of being able to give and take, they would simply take and take. So, when it comes to what they can do for themselves, it will relate to what they need to do to achieve their goals, amongst other things. Naturally, what they want to achieve is unlikely to fall into their lap. Interdependence When it comes to their friends and family, these people can take care of their need to be heard and acknowledged. Spending time around them will also fulfil their need be connected to others and even to be part of a community. Being in an intimate relationship can allow them to fulfil their physical and sexual needs, and to take care of a number of their emotional needs. If they have a strong connection with a number of their friends, in addition to other interests, they won’t expect as much from their partner. A Number of Spinning Plates Taking care of certain needs and not being overly dependent on any one person is going to allow their life to run more smoothly than it would if this wasn’t the case. As Stuart Wilde would say, they won’t be ‘leaning into life’, and this will make it easier for them to stay centred and for their life to flow. From the outside, someone like this might not look that much different to someone who doesn’t experience life in this way, but the difference would soon become clear if a closer look was taken. What would soon stand out is that this is someone who is experiencing life in the right way. A Different Life If someone doesn’t feel comfortable with their needs, they will probably find that they have the tendency to hide them from themselves and others. Their needs are unlikely to be seen as part of being human; they will most likely be seen as something to be ashamed of. This is not to say that one will be consciously aware of this, though, as this could be something that they are unaware of. Even so, it will still define how they see and respond to their needs. Self-Neglect One can then come across as needless and as though they don’t need others, which could mean that they will be seen as being ‘independent’. Therefore, they are not going to have a healthy relationship with their needs, yet they can be seen as being a well-adjusted adult. A lot of the people who they spend time with may be on the other end of the spectrum, coming across as needy and dependent. However, regardless of what other people say, one is going to be neglecting themselves. What’s The Point? If one was to look back on their life, they may see that revealing their needs to others has caused them to experience a fair amount of pain. Being ignored, rejected and even cast aside by others may be something that they have gone through on numerous occasions. How other people behaved towards them may have been hard for them to handle, but what took place within them may have been even harder. Each time something like this happened, it may have validated their view that there was something inherently wrong with their needs. What Going On? Instead of thinking that there is something wrong with their needs, what they should be thinking is that there is something wrong with the view that they have that there is something wrong with their needs. It may seem as though one has come to this conclusion as a result of what has taken place in their adult life, but this is unlikely to be the case. What this is likely to show is that their early years were a time when their needs were seen as a problem. Practically from the moment they were born, their needs may have been rarely, if ever, met. A Traumatising Time At this age, it wouldn’t have been possible for them to realise that their needs were not the problem, and this is why they would have formed a negative relationship with their needs. Disconnecting from their needs, along with their emotional self, would have been the only way for them to stop themselves from being overwhelmed with pain. Their caregivers may have also had their needs ignored when they were growing up, with this being the reason why they were unable to truly be there for them during this incredibly important time in their life. If their caregivers had worked through their pain, there would have been no reason for them to pass their neglect onto the next generation and for history to repeat itself. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to embrace their needs, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Following on from the other articles that I wrote on this theme, I wanted to cover another subject that is often spoken about. So, just as someone can be told that ‘they just need to love themselves’, for instance, they can also be told that they just need to embrace their true-self.
When someone is told this, it could show that they are not living a very fulfilling life and/or that they have a strong need to please others. The key will be for them to embrace who they are. A New Start Once they do this, it will be possible for them to tune into their needs and then to live a life that is worth living and/or to no longer please other. Ultimately, they are not on this planet just to make up the numbers. Thus, the sooner they are able to embrace who they are, the sooner their life will reflect who they are. When this happens, all that does not match up with who they are will gradually fall away. A Simple Process Upon hearing this, one may find that they are able to embrace their true-self and that their life soon starts to change. It can then illustrate that one just needed the right guidance in order for their life to move in the right direction. This is not to say that there won’t be moments when they feel uncomfortable; feeling uncomfortable is part of growing. The main thing here is that one stays with this process and doesn’t allow themselves to revert back to how they were. Another Experience Conversely, one could find that hearing this doesn’t have much of an effect on their life. What one may find is that revealing their true-self, and allowing it to define their life, is something that causes them to experience immense fear. It can then be as if it has been suggested that they allow themselves to be seen in a war zone. This is not going to feel safe; what will feel safe is hiding who they are from most, if not all, of the people in their life. A Different Scenario If one is not overloaded with fear, what they may find is that they are disconnected from themselves. It is then not going to be possible for them to connect with their body – the area where their true-self will be found. What this is likely to show is that they are carrying a fair amount of trauma in their body, and this is why they are unable to connect to it. Their mind will have disconnected from their body as a way to defend itself against pain that is being held there and their body will have hardened; the alterative would be for their mind to be overwhelmed with pain. Final Thoughts It is then clear to see that it is not always going to be easy for someone to embrace their true-self. They may be able to slowly reveal this part of themselves, or they may need to work through a lot of trauma before this can take place. And, if they are out of touch with their body, they will have to break through their defences and then to work through their pain. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Just because someone can look like a whole human being on the outside, meaning that they have a head and a body, it doesn’t mean that they are in touch with the totality of their being. There is the chance that they are aware of what is going on up top, but are unaware of what is going on down below.
Someone like this is then going to be living on the surface of themselves, and it could be as if their body is simply there to support their head. Their head is then going to be the part of them that is there to direct their life, while their body will give this part of them what it needs to survive. A Way of Life However, even though one is out of touch with what is taking place in their body, it doesn’t mean that they will realise this. There is the chance that they have lived in this way for as long as they can remember and this is then just going to be what is normal. What will also play a part here is that they will most likely live in a society that is very cerebral. This will then be somewhere where the focus will generally be on the mind. Two Options Someone like this may often struggle when it comes to what they should be doing in life or they could typically have a clear idea about what they need to do in each moment. Through being out of touch with their body, it is not going to a surprise if they do feel lost a lot of the time. The guidance that they need will be in their body, yet they won’t be able to connect to it. If, on the other hand, one doesn’t have this problem, even though they are out of touch with their body, it could just show that they have pushed this doubt out of their awareness. Outer Directed It can then seem as though they are in tune with themselves and are living a purposeful life, but this could be nothing more than an illusion. Through being out of touch with their own needs, pleasing others could be their priority. Therefore, behind the image that they present to the world of having it altogether, can be a lost human being. What they do will allow them to receive approval and even to feel good, but it is unlikely to allow them to live a deeply fulfilling life. Another Challenge Being top heavy is also likely to mean that they will find it hard to form deeper connections with others. The feelings in their body that would allow them to connect with others won’t be available to them. This is not to say that they won’t ever experience emotions when they are around others, though. What it comes down to is that the feelings that they do experience are likely to be superficial and, at times, they could be forced. A New Beginning Until something happens that will shake them out of how they are experiencing life, there will be no need for them to change. If any frustration does come into their awareness, they could simply push it away. Nonetheless, let’s say that they do get to the point where they can no longer continue to live in this way and they end up feeling totally lost, it will give them the opportunity to reacquaint themselves with themselves. The catalyst here could be the end of a relationship or a ‘midlife crisis’, for instance. A Challenging Time What has happened externally, along with how they have interpreted what has happened, will have floored them. This could be a time when they are in a lot of emotional pain or they could just feel numb. Either way, it could be clear to them that they need to change their life; living in the same way is no longer going to be an option. This time will have come for them to gradually become a whole human being. The Big Question The reason they are, or were, emotionally disconnected, could be the result of what occurred during their early years. This may have been a time in their life when they experienced a fair amount of trauma and their feelings may have generally been ignored Disconnecting from their body would then have been a way for them to survive what took place. If they were abused, for instance, it would have been too painful for them to be with their pain and/or if their feelings were generally ignored, their feelings would have been seen as a burden. A Divided Being The trouble is that even though shutting down at this age would have made it easier for them to live in a dysfunctional environment, it would have set them up to experience problems as an adult. Their feelings and needs - the two things that will provide them with guidance - will be out of their reach. The inner disconnection that they have will be what is behind so many of the challenges that are plaguing them. Living in this way may be what is normal, yet it won’t be what is normal in the truest sense of the word. Awareness Still, it is highly unlikely that one will just be able to reconnect with their body and that will be the end of it. Getting in touch with their body will be one part; another part will be for them to stay connected to it. The former could be something that takes a number of months, while the latter could take years. Their body is then going to be connected to their head, but there will be another type of connection that will gradually need to be formed. If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
A number of years ago, I remember reading something that said that the more we want to change, the harder it is to change. This was the last thing I wanted to hear as I wasn’t in a good way; it also didn’t make sense.
I desperately wanted my life to change; this was something that felt like a matter of life or death. Putting up with all the pain that I was in was not something that interested me in the slightest. A Dark Place I thought that if I wasn’t able to do something about the pain I was in, I would end up being wiped out by the pain. Due to this, I did what I could to find a way to get myself out of the hole that I was in. It was a slow and arduous process, and I often wondered if my life would ever change. As a result of the trauma that had been triggered, I went from what I thought was a good place to a place that was very different. Pushed Back It was like I had built up the first few floors of a building, only for these floors to come crashing down. The problem was that I had built this house on weak foundations. Instead of getting in touch with my true-self and going from there, I had simply decorated my false-self. I didn’t know any of this at the time, all I knew was that I had hit rock bottom and needed to do something about it. A New Understanding As time passed and I began to settle down, I started to think about what I had read a number of years ago. I thought about if the need I had to heal myself was actually making everything harder. What also played a part in this was that I came across more information that went into the nature of attachment. It became clear that I had come to point in my own evolution where I was ready to look deeper into this. A Different Way I had a very masculine approach that was based on me doing things in order to achieve a certain outcome. The trouble is that the very act of trying to attain something can end up pushing it away, taking it further out of reach. The feminine approach, on the other hand, is based on letting go and trusting, allowing the universe to provide what is needed, when it is needed. I was in too much pain to be able to trust and to let go earlier on. Final Thoughts There were times earlier on when I was able to take my foot of the gas, so to speak, and this did allow me to find answers, but the general state I was in also brought me a fair amount of frustration and gave me more to feel powerless about. So, while my attachment did cause me problems, it did allow me to work through enough pain to be able to get to the point where I no longer had such an aversion to surrendering. I think that this shows that it doesn’t matter whether someone is trying to heal themselves, have a fulfilling relationship or to move forward in their career, if they are attached to a certain outcome, it can take a lot longer for them to achieve it. As the saying goes, ‘you can have anything you want if you don’t need it.’
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
There is a video online titled, ‘Could the Root Cause of Addiction actually be a lack of Connection?’, and this video posits that a lack of connection causes addiction. It also says that “not all addictions are rooted in abuse or trauma, but they can all be traced to a painful experience”.
After this, it goes onto say that, “we should stop talking about addiction altogether and instead see it as bonding”. And that, “healthy bonding includes relationships, connection to family, community and to self”. The Answer It is then said that “the path to healing for addiction lies in genuine connection”, and that “if we can’t connected in this way, we will connect with anything we can find”. The video goes onto to talk about what happened after Portugal decriminalised all drugs, with the anti-drug budget being spent on reconnecting addicts with their community. So, instead punishing addicts, they were offered help that they needed to get back on their feet. The amount of drug inducted deaths went down as did the amount of heroin addicts. A Key Point It then mentions that, “we accept them without judgment, whether they are using or not”. This is followed up with, “it is the flesh and blood friends that you have deep relationships with that satisfy the need for connection”. It ends with, “who in our lives can we take a moment to reach out to today? And help heal the root cause of addiction?” The article ‘the opposite of addiction is connection’ is recommended at the end. The Solution Based purely on what the video says and not looking at the article, it would be perfectly normal to come to the conclusion that human connection is the antidote to addiction. Therefore, if someone is addicted to something, this will change once they have more human contact in their life. They will no longer be dependent on anything as they will receive what they are missing through the contact that they have with others. If, then, an addict is given the human contact that they are missing out on, their life will dramatically change. The Next Step Let’s say that one knows someone who is addicted to something, they could end up reaching out to this person. Through having watched the video, they will know that it is not just about being around an addict; it will be about them being fully present. Thus, using their phone when they are around or mentally being somewhere else is not going to cut it, their whole being will need to be with them. The other person will be able to sense this, which will allow them to experience truly connect to them. Filling Up Thanks to ones presence, the other person will be able to receive what they are lacking – human contact. One may end up going to see this person a few times a week, and they may encourage them to get involved in their community. This person will then go from someone who is hooked on something destructive, to someone who is able to let go of their addiction. The missing ingredient will then have been human connection. Another Outcome Now, while this approach will work for some people, it is unlikely that it will be the answer for every addict out there. The reason for this is that while an addict will be missing human contact, there is also the chance that they are carrying a hell of a lot of pain. And, it is unlikely that spending time around people who are present will cause this pain to simple disappear. Not only will this pain still be there, it may be hard for them to fully embrace human contact due to how shut down they are. Two Parts Taking this into account, saying that a lack of human connection causes addiction is not the complete truth. What backs this up is the fact that not every addict is isolated from others. In this case, someone will have people in their life, but due to the amount of pain that they are in and the state that their mind and body is in, they won’t be able to embrace them and to receive their presence. What they may find is that it is far less painful for them to be hooked on something that it is for them to be around others. One Reason The ego mind has the need to avoid pain and it is drawn to that which is familiar, with what is familiar being classed as what is safe. Taking this into account, being addicted to something can allow them to keep their pain at bay and it can be what is familiar. Ergo, while someone can suffer through being addicted to something, a big part of them can be strongly attached to experiencing life in this way. Through having this attachment to their pain, they are going to need human contact and they are going to need to heal their pain. Trauma And although it says that not all addictions are caused by abuse or trauma, it is hard to go along this statement. If might be more accurate to say that while an addict might say that they haven’t experienced any trauma, it doesn’t necessarily mean that this is so. One thing that needs to be acknowledged when it comes to the mind is that it has the ability to forget things and, if someone experienced problems in the womb or when they were born, for instance, their mind won’t be aware of it. But, while the mind can forget, the body will be only too aware of what took place. There is, of course, always the chance that the reason someone is in so much pain is because of what has been passed down to them ancestrally. The trauma that their ancestors were unable to resolve will then have been passed onto them. Final Thoughts If someone is addicted to something, a lack of human connection is likely to have been what caused them to be in pain. However, simply giving this person human contact is unlikely to resolve the trauma that is within them; their whole being may have also become hardened, stopping from being able to accept the love that is given to them. What this means is that human contact probably won’t resolve the very thing that made them look towards things or substances instead of human beings. So, through having all this pain within them and being unable to regulate their own emotions, they could end up becoming dependent on others. One can then go from losing themselves in things or substances, to losing themselves in people. If someone like this is given the human contact that they need and is able to heal their mind and body, there is a strong chance that they will be able to get back on their feet.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
It is not uncommon for the media to share information about what is happening in the oceans and what certain animals are going through. This type of information can be found on social media too.
From what is going on around the world, it is perfectly clear that a lot of harm is being done to the planet. Based on the information that is presented, it would then be easy to conclude that it will only be a matter of time being human beings kill mother earth. Another View However, another way of looking at it would be to say that there is a greater chance of the planet no longer being inhabitable than there is of it dying. Mother earth will then wipe out her children long before she allows her children to wipe her out. Alternatively, she could just wipe out a large segment of the population through a few environmental catastrophes. Once this has happened, it will allow the rebuilding process to take place. The Response Everything could then settle down and after quite some time, the same process could take place all over again. Just like in the past, perhaps new civilisations will appear and go on to make the same mistakes as the previous ones. Then again, it could be very different further down the line; that’s if the predictions in the Bhagavata Purana are to be believed. It has been said that the planet is currently in the Kali Yuga cycle, the age of darkness, and that a new age will begin before long. A Strong Reaction When someone comes across a story on social media or hears about something from the media, it could end up having a big effect on them. At first, they could end up feeling angry and guilty and after a while, they could feel sad and ashamed. There is then going to be the damage that is being done out there and there is going to be the damage that is being done within hem. This is because one is going to end up beating themselves up. Two Problems So now, not only will there be just what is going on externally that needs to be attended to, there will be something within them that also needs to be resolved. Undoubtedly, one is not going to make the world a better place by engaging in self-flagellation. The only thing it will do is cause them to send out negative energy and to feel bad about themselves. And if the planet does absorb energy, is the planet going to improve by picking up more negativity? A More Sensible Approach Instead of one beating themselves after hearing about what is going on, it would be far better for them to look into what they can do to actually make a difference. Getting angry and even feeling guilty can give them the fuel that they need to get themselves moving. Yet, if they experience too much guilt and even shame, it can end up immobilising them. Conversely, through being consumed by their emotions, they could end up pointing the finger at others and do very little to change the world. A Big Difference There is then the difference between something being pointed out and someone doing something about it, and something being pointed out and someone drowning in their own self-loathing. When it comes to what they can actually do to make a difference, it may involve changing how they eat and taking part in local projects to protect the environment. But, like with most things in life, there is likely to be only so much that they can do. Having said that, if they were to use the internet to create videos or to write articles about what can be done to make a difference, for instance, they will have far more influence that they would otherwise. An Easy Target If someone does find that they have tendency to fall down emotionally when they hear about what is going on and to beat themselves up, it could show that they are carrying a fair amount of guilt and shame. One is then going to be in a position where they already feel as though they are bad, which is why they are so willing to beat themselves up when they come across this type of information. One is then going to be unconsciously looking for things that will allow them to experience these feelings as this is what will be familiar, with what is familiar being classed as what is safe to the ego mind. Deep down, then, one is going to be emotionally attached to experiencing these feelings. An Identity Consciously, these feelings are going to cause them to feel bad and this will cause them to suffer. Yet, even though this part of them will resist what is going on, a bigger part of them will feel comfortable with it. To this part of them, experiencing these feelings will be seen as part of who they are, as opposed to just feelings that they experience. Therefore, until they are no longer attached to feeling this way, their inner world is unlikely to change. Early On Perhaps they were brought by caregivers who were verbally abusive, for instance, which would have caused one to see themselves as worthless. These experiences would have caused them to feel comfortable with feeling bad. The verbal abuse that they received from these people would have become internalised, with a critical inner voice gradually being formed within them. Their own aggression is then going to be directed at them, leading to self-harm. Conclusion If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer. As for feeling bad, it could be said that that does about as much good for the planet as feeling good does; it is what someone does that counts. Ones feelings can motivate them but they can also just distract them from doing anything worthwhile. Another trap is that one can take action, believing that they are doing the right thing, only for what they do to cause more harm than good. This shows how vital it is for someone to be able to step back and to reflect, so that they can question their own motives and look into the effect that their behaviour is having.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If the time had come for someone to make a big decision, what they may find is that they end up following their heart. In other words, they will go with what they feel called to do as opposed to doing something out of fear.
This could typically be how they operate during their day-to-day life too, meaning that behaving in this way will be what is normal. Through living in this way, their life is likely to be far more fulfilling than it would be otherwise. A Strong Connection What is likely to play a big part in why they are able to live in this way is the fact that they have a good connection with their whole being. This will be what allows them to connect to how they feel in their heart. Naturally, if they didn’t have this connection with their whole being, it wouldn’t be possible for them to listen to this part of themselves. Thankfully, through having it, there will be no reason for their life to be driven by fear. The Odd Occasion If they are ever motivated by fear, it could because their life is under threat, for instance. So let’s say that they are walking late at night and they hear loud noises, the fear within them could give them the urge to walk faster in another direction. They may even have moments when they want to say something but fear stops them from doing so. This may be something that takes place if they have family reunion, for instance. Not a Big Deal When it comes to them walking away if they were to hear loud noises, the fear that they feel will be rational. Ultimately, it will be there to keep them alive, not to hold them back in any way. And, when it comes to keeping certain thoughts to themselves at a family gathering, another part of them could be only too aware of what has happened in the past. So, once again, behaving in this way will be the sensible thing to do. The Benefits As this is not their normal way of operating, it is likely to mean that the people in their life will be there for their right reason. Their friends and even their partner, that’s if they have one, will be in their life due to the fact that they want them to be. Said another way, these people are not in their life so that they don’t have to feel lonely or be with their painful emotions. There is also the chance that they have a rewarding vocation or that they are working towards one that is. Nothing New If one was to look back on their life, they may see that this is pretty much how they have always lived. As a result of this, they probably won’t know what is it is like to live in a way that is the complete opposite of this. At the same time, one might not have always lived in this way and will then know exactly what it is like to live in the opposite way. Through putting the work in, they will have been able to transform their existence. A Totally Different Experience When someone doesn’t live in this way, they may listen to their heart on the odd occasion but that could be as far as it will go. What will be the force that generally drives their life will be fear. Now, this doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of this, but it will still be the case. Consequently, just about every part of their life is going to be a reflection of their need to avoid what they believe would happen if they were to behave differently. Inner Tension Consciously, one could believe that their behaviour is a reflection of their true needs, yet this will be an illusion. If they were to go deep within themselves, they will see that most of what they are drawn towards is simply a way for them to avoid something else. Through being this way, there is likely to be a fair amount of resistance within them, and this resistance will set them up to experience more of the same. They will find that life provides them with even more things that they need to avoid A Few Examples Their life could be filled with people who they don’t really feel connected to but who allow them to avoid their painful feelings. One is then going to fully show up around them but at least they won’t have to be overwhelmed by their own pain. When it comes to what they do for a living, once again they could do something that allows them to avoid their pain, not something that could be classed as their calling. This could be how they have experienced life for so long that it doesn’t even stand out. One Need What is clear is that it is just about impossible for this person to operate as a whole human being and to just be. There is a lot of fear within them and this is making it hard for them to listen to other parts of their being and to no longer be in avoidance mode. It is likely that they typically only know what it is that they don’t what and rarely know what it is that they do want. Deep down, then, it is going to be as if their life is under threat and this is why they need to do everything they can to stay alive. Back In Time There is a strong chance that the reason that they are in survival mode as an adult is because their early years were a time when their life was under threat. This wouldn’t have been a time when it was safe for them to be and to pay attention to their needs; it would have been a time when they were on edge and had to focus on the needs of their caregivers. This may have been a stage of their life when they were abused and/or neglected. Their need to grow and develop would have been put to one side, being replaced by their need to survive in an environment that was extremely dangerous. Awareness Without this understanding, it is not going to be a surprise for someone to wonder why their adult life is about getting away from what they don’t want. Yet, to step back and to get to this point can be a challenge. If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
In the past, there were only a small percentage of people who went to university and only a few subjects were taught. Nowadays, it is often a case of who hasn’t been and numerous subjects are now taught at these institutions.
One way of looking at this would be to say that it is a good thing as more people now have the opportunity to take part in higher education. What have also played a part in this are the loans that are available. The Ideal Preparation So, when someone is able to spend a few years at university, it will give them the tools that they need to make it in life. While they are there, they are likely to find that they are all kinds of resources at their finger tips. There will be lecturers who will know all kinds of things, an endless amount of books and they will have the chance to form connections with people that could last a lifetime. In addition to this, they will be able to learn something that will allow them to make a living once their time there comes to an end. A Different Outcome At the same time, this might not be the case if they end up with a degree that is not very marketable. Now, this may have been something that they found interesting, but it might not be of interest to a lot of people. If one didn’t think about this right at the beginning, they could end up experiencing a fair amount of anger and frustration. They may even go into victim mode and end up blaming other people for a choice that they themselves made. A Grey Area Going to university is then by no means a guarantee that someone will be able to step into a job once they leave. If they chose to enrol in a degree that interested employers or could be used to start up a business, it would be different. One would then have two things in mind when they enrolled; to do something that they would enjoy and to do something that would actually allow them to earn a living. It may have been more enjoyable for them to study something else, but it wouldn’t have served them in the long run. Smooth Transition If they did do something that would allow them to earn a living, their time at university could soon be followed by full time employment. It might take them a while to readjust to the ‘real world’ but it should happen soon enough. It will probably take a little while longer if someone studied something that wasn’t very marketable. Still, they could always do a bit of travelling in the meantime or look into doing a short course on something else. A Challenging Time Then again, regardless of what someone studied while they were in higher education and what they end up doing now that that stage of their life has come to an end, it could be incredibly difficult for them to adapt. What this could basically show is that they were comfortable there and were rarely challenged. For example, perhaps this was a university where people practically had to walk on eggshells to avoid offending others. It would then have been normal for one to only be exposed to things that didn’t offend them. The Centre of the Universe Through spending a number of years in an environment like this, along with that took place before they even got there, it would have meant that they were protected from reality. Indirectly, they would have been conditioned to believe that they could define what they are exposed to. It is then not that they are just another human being on the planet and have to put up with things they don’t like; no, they are so important that they can decide what another person can or can’t do or say. This will then have been a time when their ego was strengthened, with them developing a false sense of importance in the process. A New Purpose Ergo, instead of being prepared for the real world during their time in higher education, the complete opposite will have taken place. It might then be more accurate to describe it as lower education as they would have regressed, not progressed. This should have been somewhere they were exposed to different views, to be able to grow and develop. After all, a big part of education is to teach people how to think, not what to think. Two Extremes When they were studying, then, it would have been as though they were in one world and, now that they have left, it will be as though they are in another. One world would have treated them as though they were the centre of the universe, the other will treat them as though they are just another human being. It is then not going to be a surprise for them to struggle in the real world; a world where their feelings are generally not going to be seen as being important. Along with this, they are also going to struggle if they want other people to use a special pronoun. Conclusion The education system is supposed to expand people’s minds and to prepare them for the real world, not to treat them like toddlers. Yet, as people’s feelings are often seen as more important than the truth, it shows how far so many of these institutions have fallen. If someone can’t handle their emotions and they are not willing to be exposed to different views, the last place they should be is at university. In many ways, this is the equivalent of ice being put in an oven, it just doesn’t belong there. One also has to wonder if there is a hidden agenda here, with the establishment wanting to get as many people as they can into these places to dumb society down. But, as it is being done in so-called higher education, this ends up going unnoticed. The outcome is that so many people end up being completely indoctrinated by the system, only to see themselves as being informed or “woke”. These people are then not only going to be unaware of the fact that that their mind has been hijacked, they are also going to be knee-deep in debt – the perfect slaves.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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