When it comes what someone can do in order to be able to influence others, there are a number of things that are often put forward. One thing that they could hear about is how important it is for them to have the right body language.
Through using their body in the right way, it will allow them to have a positive effect on others. And as to what they will need to do, it can all depend on the effect that they want to have. Two Examples If one wanted to come across as confident, it will be necessary for them to have good posture and to open themselves up, for instance. Their voice will also need to be clear, and it might be a good idea to make sure that they don’t speak too fast. On the other hand, if one was in a position where they needed other people to open up to them, they will want to make sure that they don’t come across in an imposing manner. Thus, they might want to have their arms by their side, and to use their voce in a nonthreatening way. Showing Up Nevertheless, if one is not present during these moments, they are unlikely to get very far. This can then cause other people to feel as though something isn’t right, but they might not be able to work out what is wrong. Or, if this doesn’t take place, they could come to the conclusion that one is putting on an act. It will be as if they are interested or concerned, for instance, and yet their mind is somewhere else. Technology This is why it will be vital for them to make sure that they don’t let their device consume their attention when they are around others. At times, they might need to use it, and this is because it could be part of the conversation. In general, they are unlikely to have the need to use anything, and this will allow them to be in the moment. The person they are talking to can then feel as though one respects them and that they actually want to hear what they have to say. Emotional Control Along with this, if one is able to make sure that their emotions don’t control them, it will give them the ability to control their behaviour. The alternative would be for them to be at the whim of their emotions, and this will make it a lot harder for them to do this. There could then be days when they will be able to influence others, and days when they merge into the background, so to speak. And if they are unable to be consistent, it could stop some people from paying attention to them. Another Effect And when one has the ability to handle their emotions, it will allow them to greet people in the same way when they meet them. The people around them are then going to have to worry about how one will respond to them. They will know what they are going to get, and this can mean that they are more likely to reach out to them. If one was approachable one moment and cold the next, it is naturally going to have a negative effect on others. Self-Assured What also can’t be overlooked is how one will need to come across as confident, as this is something that will have a big effect on other people treat them. Without this, it will be a challenge for them to influence others. Through seeing how confident they are, it can be normal for other people to be drawn to them. There could be times when being confident will be enough and one won’t need to do anything else. The Other Side If one finds it hard to believe this, they only need to think about how people behave around certain authority figures. Not only can they come across as confident, they can act as though they know everything. But although some people will be repelled by this kind of behaviour, there are going to be others who will warm to it. It won’t matter how irrational their behaviour is, as they will be pulled in by them. Two Sides On one side, it could be said that there are going to be people who are believe in themselves and are knowledgeable. Even so, this doesn’t mean that they will have this level of belief when it comes to every area of their life, and they are not going to know everything. On the other side, there are going to be the people who always come across in this way; it won’t matter what they are doing, or what it relates to. So while the first example can be a sign that someone has worked hard to get where they are, the second example can show that they are out of touch with reality. Certainty When one is drawn to someone like this, it can show that they don’t feel comfortable in their own skin. Through lacking self-belief and being on one side of the spectrum, people who appear to be on the other side of it are going to appeal to them. It is then similar to how someone can have the need to experience complete control when they feel as though they have no control. In this case, the person who acts as though nothing fazes them is going to be put on a pedestal. Awareness One way of looking at this would be to say that whether someone is certain or not all depends on what is taking place in their mind. But no matter how certain they are, it doesn’t mean that their life will always go as they want it to go. If one finds it hard to believe in themselves, they might need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist.
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If someone has the desire to develop themselves, they can end up getting into self-development. On one hand, this could be something that they only dip their toes into, so to speak, and on the other hand, it could consume their whole life.
One Outlook When it comes to the former, it could show that one is in a good place, and this is why they don’t need to get too caught up in it. Yet, if they have taken the opposite approach, it could show that this is not the case. This is then why there is not going to be one way of behaving when it comes to this area of life. It is then similar to how if one person is really hungry; they are going to eat more than the person who isn’t. Another Angle At the same time, even though this doesn’t take over one’s life, it doesn’t mean that it’s because their life is going in the right direction. Instead, it could show that they are not willing to commit to their own growth. And if one’s life was going well, but this one area was to take over, it could show that they are trying to avoid something. Thus, through being so concerned with their own growth, other areas of their life could start to crumble. A Grey Area What this shows that even though someone needs to develop themselves, it doesn’t mean they will. In the short-term, it can be easier for them to carry on living in the same way, but as time passes they are likely to pay the price. And although someone might need to take a step back from this, there is always the chance that they won’t. It might be possible for them to overlook the effect this is having in the beginning, but the more time that passes, the harder this can be. One Size Fits All Ultimately, it is going to be down to one to decide what route they will take, and for how long they will behave in this way for. If they are able to take a step back from what is taking place in their life, it will give them the chance to think about what they need to do. If everyone was the same, there would only be one path to take, and it wouldn’t be necessary for one to decide for themselves. Even so, there are bound to be people who do look towards others when it comes to what they should be doing. Outer Directed One is then going to put their ability to think to one side, and to rely on what other people have to say. It could then be said that one will be giving their power away, and this is going to make it easy to control them. Nevertheless, this could be what they feel comfortable with, and there is then going to be no reason for them to change. As far as they are concerned, they could believe that other people always know better than them. Out of Use Their ability to think critically (that’s if they have developed this ability), is going to be put to one side. It is then not going to matter what they are told, as they won’t take the time to reflect on if it is the right thing for them to do. This is then going to be the same as what often happens when someone goes to see their doctor and believes everything they come out with. What they come out with will be seen as the truth, as that’s as far as it will go. The Experts When one has this approach when it comes to self-development, they can go along with everything a teacher says. The mere fact that it has come out of their mouth will be enough to prove that it is valuable. What they come out with can relate to how one can change their life, and how they should live their life. While the goose produces the golden eggs; they produce information that is golden. Up There The person they look towards to inform them is going to be a fellow human being. But based on how they see them, it is going to be as if they have placed them on a pedestal. They are all knowing and in a superior position, and one is going to be very fortunate to listen to what they have to say. As a result of this, this person could come out with anything and it could still be seen as being profound. Regression One way of looking at this would be to say that one is behaving like child, and the person they are looking up to is being seen as a parent. Perceiving them in this way can be something that causes them to feel safe and connected. What this can show is that they feel as though something is missing and, through indentifying with a teacher/guru, it allows them to experience inner strength. Before they followed someone like this, there is the chance that they treated certain people in a similar way (and this could still occur). A Deeper Look If one was able to look into why they are experiencing life in this way, they may find that their early years were a time when their needs were rarely, if ever, met. Thus, although they look like an adult, they still feel like a vulnerable child. They are then looking towards the teacher/guru to give them what they didn’t get all those years ago. The trouble is that they are looking for something that another person can’t provide. Awareness It is going to be necessary for one to realise their own inner strength, and this can take place through grieving their unmet childhood needs. The assistance of a therapist may be needed here.
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When one wants to find out about what is taking place in the world, they can end up looking towards the mainstream media. This could be something that has taken place for as long as they can remember.
In the past, they might have listened to the radio, watched TV or read a paper when it came to fulfilling their need to be informed. This is something that can still take place, but they now have the option of going online. On The Go As a result of this, it is now easier than ever before for them to stay up to date with what is taking place. Through having some kind of device, they can go online no matter where they are. All the information they need is right at their finger tips, and this means that they no longer need to go out of their way. Yet, even though this is the case, it doesn’t mean that it will be any different to how it used to be. A Preference What this comes down to is that one is not going to be restricted when it comes to how they are informed. If they prefer to read, there is going to be plenty of content for them to consume. Or, if they would rather have someone else tell them about what is taking place, they will be able to watch videos. There will also be the opportunity for them to listen to audio recordings. The Best Option When it comes to what option they choose, it can also depend on what is taking place in their life. If they haven’t got a lot of energy, they may find that they would rather sit back and watch a video. If one had to drive somewhere, listening to something might be the best way for them to stay up to date. Either way, by having so many ways to be informed, it is going to have a positive effect on their life. A Choice Therefore, if one is in a position where they don’t know anything about what is going on in the world, it is likely to be a sign that they have chosen to be this way. At times, they might have other things that they need to focus on. And while one is going to miss out during this time, it is unlikely to have a big effect on their life. In fact, one might find that they feel more at peace, and it could be said that this is to be expected. Drama What this comes down to is that most of what is taking place in the world is out of one’s hands. It can then be normal for one to pay attention to what is taking place and to end up feeling hopeless. One can then come to the conclusion that it is a good idea for them to limit the amount of time they spend going over what is taking place in the world. They could also think about how the media is more concerned with what is wrong with the world than what is right about it. Well-Being Limiting the amount of news they are exposed to is then likely to have a positive effect on them. This can enable them to have a more balanced outlook, and they can begin to focus on the things that they can change. As if they were to allow their emotional state to be defined by an outside source, they are going to have very little, if any, control over themselves. The mainstream media is going to be in control of how they feel. One Option Through being aware of the effect the news is having on them, it will allow them to take a step back when they need to. This is going to be far better than to simply cut it out altogether. One might decide to only check up on the news at a certain point each day, as opposed to doing this throughout the day. And if they were to check out a video or to watch TV, there are going to be moments when they will end up being shown a video. A Compilation This could be a video where someone has been filmed saying or doing something, for instance. Along with this, there can be times when a news site on social media can share a video where lots of different footage has been put together. When something like this happens, the video footage is likely to have been shared to support what they are talking about. And as the footage is there, it can be seen as a sign that what they are talking about is the truth. Evidence This is then similar to how CCTV footage can be used to prove that someone has committed a crime. There is going to be no doubt about what has taken place, or who has was involved. However, just because the mainstream media uses video footage, it doesn’t mean that this always proves that they are right about something. What it can show is that this is just another way for them to control people. Video Editing For one thing, they may have taken a video and removed certain parts of it. This can mean that the video is going to end up having a completely different meaning, and this is because they have changed the context. If they were to put different footage together to make a video, it is likely to be used to prove something. Yet, if each of the videos were watched individually and in their original form, they could have a radically different meaning. Conclusion What this will show is that they are not always using this footage to inform people, there will be times when they will use it to condition people to develop a certain outlook. But unless one is able to take a step back, they can end up going along with what they are told. Ultimately, this can be seen as a form of fake news, but the mainstream media is unlikely to hold their hands up. As far as they are concerned, this is something that the alternative media engages in.
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While there are some people who have absolutely no desire to do anything, there are others who find it hard to sit still. When it comes to the former, one might be only too happy to stay in bed all day.
Yet, when it comes to the latter, they may be only too happy to get out of bed and to get things moving. While they might realise how important it is to sleep, they could still see it as something that gets in the way. Another Dynamic Along with this, there are going to be people who go to work to pay the bills and others who go there to rise to the top. In the first case, it could be said that they will happy to show up, and that could be as far as it goes. On the other hand, when this is not the reason why they go to work; it is not going to be enough for them to do this. They might want to gain mastery over the level they are at, and then to move to the next level as soon as they can. The Similarity Even though the first example is slightly different to the second one, it still shows that there is a difference when it comes to how driven people are. Still, this is not to say that everyone will fall into one side of the spectrum or the other, as it is not going to be this black and white. There are clearly going to be people who have the desire to be successful in life, but it won’t consume their whole existence. In addition to this, there will be people who have moments when they want to move forward in life and moments when this isn’t the case. Balance If this doesn’t consume someone’s life, there could be a number of others things that matter to them. Perhaps they have children, and then a lot of their time will be spent looking after them. At the same time, they may prefer to spend a lot of time with their friends and family, and this could be an essential part of their life. Their career could then be seen as being insignificant in comparison. In The Past There is also the chance that they haven’t always been this way, and this might have changed when they had children. This would then have caused them to take a step back and to think about what truly matters. Their priorities had to change, and this would have enabled them to be there for their children. Or, they might have got to the point where they were no longer willing to carry on in this way, and having fulfilling relationships became a priority. Another Perspective However, if one does have a strong desire to achieve success, they could say that this will allow them to give their children a better life. And if they are not a parent yet, they could be waiting until they reach a certain point. One then has one focus, but that doesn’t mean that they are not interested in anything else. Thus, as their life begins to change, it will allow them to pay more attention to this area, as well as many others. Validation When one has a strong desire to succeed, they are likely to find that there are plenty of people who approve of their behaviour. It could be normal for them to be seen as an inspiration. What this comes down to is that it is not uncommon for people to believe that the purpose of life is to be successful. One is then behaving in a way that is seen as being the right thing to do. One Direction And even if one has already achieved a certain level of success, it doesn’t mean that they are going to slow down. What they have achieved up until this point could be seen as being more or less irrelevant. Once they have achieved one milestone, it could only be a matter of time before they are on their way towards the next one. It is going to be as if they have an insatiable need to achieve. From The Outside At times, other people could wonder where this desire comes from, and they might even think about if they can develop it themselves. They might come to conclude that they were simply born this way. Another way of looking at this would be to say that it shows that they value themselves, and this is why they are so driven. Therefore, if someone how has high self-esteem, they will behave in the same way. Ambition There could be something to this, but what is could also show is that there was a time in their life when they felt extremely insignificant and/or powerless. This is likely to have been something that took place during their childhood years. Through feeling this way, it would have caused them to experience a lot of pain, and the desire to achieve can be a way for them to handle how they feel at a deeper level. Their need to rise so high can then be seen as something that allows them to stop themselves from having to fall so far down. Fuel One knows what it is like to be at one side of the spectrum, and this is why they want to go to the other side in order to feel different. The pain that they felt through being here is what gives them the ambition to push themselves to the top. It is then similar to how the further an arrow is pulled back, the more force it has to go forward. Ergo, if one had a childhood where they didn’t feel this way, there can be no reason for them to have the same amount of ambition. Awareness But just because someone’s early years were like this, it doesn’t mean they will turn out this way. They could end up having no desire to do anything, and this can show that they have a different temperament.
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When one is used to having relationships that are not very fulfilling, they could begin to wonder what is going on. As a result of this, this area of their life is likely to cause them to experience a lot of pain.
However, even though this is the case, the main thing is that they have taken a step back. The alternative would be for them to continue to behave in the same way, and this would cause them to experience even more pain. Enough’s enough But based on what they have gone through up until this point, they are not longer going to be willing to carry on in this way. This is not to say that the pain they have experienced is the only factor involved here, as there could be more to it. There is the chance that they have been exposed to something that has caused them to see life differently. Through having a different inner experience, it has allowed them to detach from what is taking place. Back In Time If one was to reflect on how they behaved in the past, they might see that they acted as if they had no control over what was taking place. It would then have been normal for them to behave like a victim. And through having this outlook, one would have been nothing more than an effect of their environment. Therefore, it wouldn’t have been possible for them to do anything about what was taking place. Open Minded Still, even though one no longer has this outlook, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they believe that they can change their life. It could simply show that they have had enough, and that they want to find out about what they can do. The main thing is that they have taken the first step, and now they can start to look for answers. What this shows it that part of them believes that they are not an observer of what is taking place. Another Scenario On the other hand, one could be in a position where they have never had a relationship before. In this case, one won’t know what it is like to attract the wrong people, but they will know what it is like to feel powerless. They might find it hard to understand why they haven’t been able to experience life differently. The people they spend time with could be in relationships, and they might even have children. The Next Step So regardless of how one has been experiencing life up until this point, they might end up looking for information online. It could be said that this will be the obvious thing to do, as one won’t need to go very far. As long as they have some kind of device, they could go onto a search engine and type in a question. If they find what they are looking for straight away, this is likely to be a big relief. A Matter of Time Yet, if this is not something that happens straight away, it is not going to be the end of the world. The only thing they will need to do is ask another question, and they will soon be on their way. What this comes down to is that as there is so much formation online; everything they want to know is going to be on there. Therefore, as long as one is willing to be patient and to keep looking, there is no reason why they shouldn’t be able to find what they are looking for. Plenty of Options This can be a time when they will come across articles, books, videos and podcasts, among other things. One can then choose whatever option suits their needs, or they can use all of the options that are available. There is the chance that one will hear about how important it is for them to ‘love’ themselves, and how this is the key to having fulfilling relationships. Thus, once they are able to do this, they will no longer experience life in the same way. Self-Development Or, if one doesn’t hear this, they could be told that they need to work on their ‘self-esteem’. Ultimately, it is going to be necessary for them to feel comfortable in their own skin, and there will be a number of ways for this to occur. One way will be for them to change what they believe about themselves, and this can take place through using affirmations. They can also monitor their mind and to begin to think differently. Perfect After a while, one could start to see themselves differently, and they could then feel as though they are ready to have a relationship. At the same time, they might not have got this far, and it can then be normal for them to hold themselves back. Due to what they have heard, they could come to believe that not only do they need to ‘love’ themselves, but that their whole life needs to be in order. It could then be seen as something that will take them a very long time to achieve. A Closer Look Now, clearly it is going to be a good idea for one to value themselves; if they don’t, they could end up attracting someone who will treat them badly. Having said that, one of the reasons why human beings have relationships is to heal themselves. What this means is that they don’t need to have it all together order to find the right person to be with. When one tries to be perfect, it would be the same as them believing that they need to be full before they go out for a meal. Never Ending Out of their need to be perfect, they are likely to find that there is always going to be something for them to work on. And through being single, they could start to experience a new set of problems. For example, if they are not experiencing human touch, it can be harder for them to feel good about themselves. Also, if they were to end up with someone who is not right for them, it could mean that they need to find someone else. Awareness When one is willing to work through their own issues and the person they are with is the same, their relationship will allow them to heal their pain together. It could then be said that it is not so much about one being perfect, as it is about them being willing to work through their own pain with someone else, and finding someone who is the same.
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If one is in a relationship, they could begin to wonder what has happened to it. This could be a sign that it is no longer having the same effect on them as it used to have.
What this could show is that they haven’t been putting in as much effort as they did in the past. Perhaps they have spent more time at work than they usually do, or their partner is not as available as they were in the past. Another Direction At a deeper level, this could show that they are no longer on the same page, so to speak. For one reason or another, they are not going to have the same kind of connection as they did before. It could be said that things like this happen, and that there is nothing that one can do about it. At the end of the day, human beings are individuals, and this means that they have their own paths to follow. No Guarantees If this wasn’t the case, there is as strong chance that a lot of relationships would last a lot longer than they do. Each person would then have the same needs, and there would be no reason for them to experience conflict. As this is not how life works, there is always the chance one person can end up having the desire to experience life differently. And it is not going to be possible for them to stay with the same person. Neutral When this happens, it doesn’t mean that one person is good and another is bad; it is simply part of life. Even if one was to change, it doesn’t mean that the other person would stay. Their time together will have come to an end, and the more they try to resist this the harder their life will be. In this scenario, the best thing for them to do will be to accept what is taking place. The Same Experience One thing they could do to make it easier could be to imagine that they are in the same position. This can then give them a sense of what the other person is going through, and why they are unable to continue. There could be a point in time when one will experience life in the same way, and it won’t matter what has happened between them. They will know that their life is about to take a different direction. Another Factor Alternatively, this could simply show that both of them need to spend more time together, and to go back to what they used to do in the past. If they were to put more effort in, they could soon find that their relationship changes. And if one of them was to say that they had grown apart, it could simply be a way for them to escape. It may then only be a matter of time before they end up doing the same thing with someone else. A Legitimate Concern However, the reason one is thinking about what is going on in their relationship could be because of another reason. Based on their partner’s behaviour, they could come to believe that they are cheating. There could be a number of things that have stood out for quite some time, or this may be something that they have only just started to think about. Either way, they are going to want to find out what is taking place. A Closer Look When they think about how their partner has been behaving, they could think about how much time they spend at work. In the past, they might have been back at a certain time and now they spend far more time there. Along with this, they could have the need to see someone who they haven’t seen for a while, and this could be something that happens on a regular basis. Ultimately, their behaviour is going to be different to how it used to be. One Approach What one could then do is to talk to their friends about what is taking place, as this will give them the opportunity to hear another person’s point of view. They could also take a step back from what is taking place within them and see if they are simply jumping to conclusions. If there is sufficient evidence to back up what they believe, they could talk to their partner about what is going on for them. And through owning what is taking place for them, as opposed to pointing the figure at their partner, it can allow them to find out about what is going on. Another Reason Yet, while there is the chance that their partner is up to something, there could be more to it. Instead, what this can show is that the person who is cheating is actually the person they see in the mirror each day. But while this is the case, one could have disconnected from what is taking place within them, and this is why they are blaming their partner for their own behaviour. Out of their inability to experience their own guilt, they project their guilt onto their partner. Confusion When one accuses their partner of cheating, it can be hard for them to comprehend what is taking place. They can end up feeling guilty and upset, and these are the emotions that one should be experiencing as a result of what they have been doing. There is going to be no reason for their partner to feel this way, but due to how they are being treated, it is to be expected. The sooner they are able to realise what is happening, the better their life will be. Awareness If one is able to take responsibility for their own behaviour, they might be able to save their relationship. But if they continue to behave in this way, they could end up destroying it. During this time, it might be a good idea for them to seek external support, as this will allow them to be more objective. This is something that can be provided by a therapist.
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In today’s world, there are all kinds of things that someone can do when they are carrying a few too many pounds. When it comes to what one will do to lose weight, it can all depend on their personality.
Active If one has a lot of energy, they might decide to engage in some kind of exercise. This shows that they are not going to be prepared to sit around, and this could also be a sign that this is something they enjoy doing. It might end up being only a matter of time before their body starts to look different, and this may cause them to slow down. After a while, they could end up putting all the weight back on, and the whole process could start all over again. A Special Occasion What this could demonstrate is that one has moments where they have energy and moments when they find it hard to get things moving. When they do have the desire to lose weight, it could be because they have something important coming up. Thus, as long as they have something external to motivate them, they are going to be fine. if one wanted to stay in shape all year round (as opposed to being this way on the odd occasion), it might be a good idea for them to work with a personal trainer. Another Option Or, if this is not an option, they could find a training partner to give them the encouragement they need. Through maintaining their desired appearance, it can make it easier for them to achieve others things in life. For one thing, their body will function better, and this can give them the energy they need to handle their day-to-day life. At the end of the day, there is nothing wrong with reaching out for external support. Getting Back On Track If one has plenty of energy, it might be hard to understand why they would have allowed themselves to get in this position to begin with. However, there is the chance that they have been recovering from an injury, for instance. At the same time, they may have been spending a lot of time at work, and this would have stopped them from being able to maintain their usual routine. The time has then come to return to what they were doing before. Another Route On the other hand, one might prefer to go on some kind of diet plan, and to avoid exercise altogether. This could be a sign that they don’t like it, or that they haven’t got the time to do it. Still, this is not to say that this is going to stop them from losing weight; it might just take them a bit longer. One downside to this approach is that it is not going to allow one to increase their fitness level. The Same Experience Once again, this could be something that takes place whenever they have something important coming up. It could also be a challenge for them to eat right all year round and it might then be a good idea for them to seek external support. But if they generally have their ideal shape, they might have been going through a bad patch. Perhaps they recently experienced the end of a relationship, or someone they were close to passed on. The Ideal In addition to eating right or exercising all year round, it is also likely to be in one’s best interest to do both. If they only do one of these things, it can make their life harder than it needs to be. For example, if one exercises and eats right, they will be working with themselves. If on the other hand, they only do one of these things, what they don’t do can make it harder for them to maintain what they do do. A New Experience And while one could be in a position where they have lost weight in the past, this might not be the case. They may have wanted to lose weight for most of their life, and there could be a number of reasons as to why they are no longer willing to be this way. When they do get down to the size that they feel comfortable with, they could end up looking completely different. This can then cause them to feel different about themselves, and for other people to treat them differently. A Difference As they no longer feel the same, it will be normal for their behaviour to change. Based on how they used to behave, one could have the desire to receive more attention than usual. This could mean that one will upload more pictures of themselves online, and they could engage in behaviour that will hopefully draw attention to them. And if they are attractive, it might not be hard for them to receive it. Making Up For Lost Time One way of looking at this would be to say that they are simply receiving the kind of attention that they haven’t been able to receive for most to their life. If one felt invisible before, it is to be expected that they would want to make up for the years of pain that they have been through. It might not take very long for them to receive what they have missed out on for so long and then they could settle down. Having said that, it might not matter how much attention they receive. Self-Image What this can show is that even though they look different, they still see themselves in the same way. Therefore, in order to avoid how they feel at a deeper level, they need to constantly receive positive feedback. The positive feedback that they receive is only going to have a temporary effect on them, and this is why this desire is not going to subside. Unless they change how they see themselves, they will continue to need the same amount of attention. Awareness If one can relate to this and they want to change their life, they may need to seek external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist, or they could look into how they can change their self-image.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Energy Vampires: Is It Harder To Realise When Someone Is An Energy Vampire When We Feel Low?14/12/2016
When it comes to have a fulfilling life, it is often said that someone will need to spend time around the right people. This comes down to the fact that human beings are interdependent, and are therefore constantly being influenced by the people around them.
If this wasn’t the case, it wouldn’t matter who they spent their time around, and this means that they would be able to overlook this area of their life. Now, this could be something that one is only too aware of. Another Area This area of their life could be seen in the same light as their diet, and this is because they will realise how important it is. One will be careful what they put into their body, as what they eat will have a big effect on them. What they are not going to do is to eat bad food and then to expect to feel good. If they were to behave in this way, they would soon tell themselves that they need to come to terms with what their body needs. The Right Nutrients Thus, in the same way that their body will need to receive the right food in order to function at its best; one will also need to be around people who will have a positive effect on their well-being. The trouble is that while it is pretty clear that we need to eat right, what is not as clear is that we need to be mindful of who we allow into our life. When it comes to the former, this is typically something that people will hear about in the news. On the other hand, the latter is something that is more likely to be heard in a self-help book, for instance. Normal As a result of this, if one is careful who they allow into their life, it could be a sign that they are into self-development. There may have been a time when this didn’t take place, and this would have caused them to suffer. Alternatively, this could have been something that they were told by close friend or a family member. The advice they passed on during this moment would then have gone on to have a big effect on them. Self-Image At the same time, one might have always had the tendency to only spend time around certain people. This is then not something they have learnt about directly, but they know how important it is nevertheless. What this could come down to is that one’s early years may have been a time when their needs were generally met. This then set them up to value themselves, and there would be no reason for them to allow the wrong people into their life. The Odd Occasion Yet, if this was to take place, it could be a sign that they are going through a challenging time. The amount of stress that they are under is then going to put them in a vulnerable position. This is similar to how a slice of cheese is going to be fine if it is left in the fridge, but as soon as it is left out, it will change. So as long as one is able to settle themselves down, what is taking place in their life won’t last for very long. A Number of Reasons One thing that could have this effect on them is if they were to experience loss, and this could cause them to hit rock bottom. Their emotional state will have changed and this can cause them to tolerate people who they wouldn’t usually want to be around. Or, one could be going through a lot of stress at work, and this could move them in a different direction. The kind of people who they would usually avoid can then come across as appealing. A Momentary Experience However, once they are back on their feet, this is something that is likely to change. During this time, they might start to wonder why they were drawn to someone in the first place. At the same time, even if one was going through a bad patch, it doesn’t mean that they will be drawn to people like this. They could end up getting the support they need from the people they usually spend time with. A Way of Life When one is used to feeling good about themselves and their life, it is going to be relatively easy for them to notice when someone is not good to be around. Based on how they experience life, it will generally stand out when someone is an energy vampire. But when one is not used to experiencing life in this way and they are used to feeling low, it can be harder for them to know when someone is not right for them. There is going to be no reason for them to take a step back. A Smell If one was to enter a room that had a strong smell, there is a strong chance that it would stand out. Yet, if they were to stay in this room for a little while, it might no longer be picked up. What this shows, is that it is going to be a lot easier for someone to be able to recognise when another person is not right for them when they are in a good place. In general, when another person is going to take their energy away for them, they are going to be aware of this. Awareness If one finds it hard to feel good about themselves, it might be necessary for them to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Before one goes out into the world, they can wonder who they are going to come into contact with. Perhaps they will think about if they will see one of their friends, or it they will make a new friend.
As a result of this, they are going to look to forward to going out, and this can be a sign that they are generally upbeat. It could be normal for other people to be drawn to them, and for them to enjoy being in their presence. Water off a Ducks Back Now, this doesn’t mean that this is someone who goes through life unscathed; what it comes down to is that they rarely let anything get to them. In their eyes, life could be seen as something to enjoy. Therefore, if something does get them down, they could soon be back on their feet. One way of looking at this would be to say that they have a certain level of resilience. A Way of Life There is the chance that this is how they have been for most of their life, and they might even say that they were born with a smile on their face. One of their mottos could be that life is too short to get caught up in negativity. On the other hand, this could be how they started to behave in their adult years, and this could show that they have had to overcome a lot to develop this outlook. This could have taken place through changing what they believed and spending time around the right people, for instance. Relationships Through being this way, the people who they spend time with could have a similar outlook. This is not to say that they will behave in the same way, but that they are also not willing to be a victim. Consequently, there is a strong chance that this is an area of their life that brings them a lot of fulfilment. They will have no interest in treated other people badly, and the same will be said about the people they are close to. In The Past If they haven’t always experienced life in this way, there may have been a time when they were treated badly by others. Or, they may have been the ones who were causing harm to others. Alternatively, one may have had moments when they treated others badly and moments when they were treated badly. And for one reason or another, they were able to move beyond this. Another Way Yet, although this is how some people are going to experience life, there are going to be others who have a radically different experience. Instead of looking forward to seeing the people they know or coming into contact with people they don’t know, they might generally prefer to keep other people at a distance. This could come down to the fact that they believe that most people want to take advantage of them. Another way of looking at it would be to say that one sees themselves as a victim. Powerless Based on this, it is likely to show that they believe that they have very little, if any, control over their own life. Therefore, if someone doesn’t treat them in the right way, there is going to be nothing that they can do. This can mean that they are used to being abused in life, and it could then be a challenge for them to feel good about themselves. As far as they are concerned, the only way for their life to change will be if other people change. The Other Side And as there are people who experience life in this way, it is also likely to mean that there are people who experience life from the opposite side of the spectrum. In this case, one will have the tendency to be the one who victimises others. Thus, unlike the people who they victimise, they are going to feel as though they have a lot of control. In fact, victimising others could be a way of them to keep their own sense of being powerless at bay. Can’t Stop This is why it is going to be vital for them to constantly find people two take advantage of, or they will have to come into contact with how they feel at a deeper level. In the same way that someone can drink to change how they feel; one is abusing others to chance how they feel. But even though they need to find people like this, it doesn’t mean that they have to put in a lot of effort; they could just seem to find people to victimise. Avoiding how they feel is unlikely to be the only factor though, as they can also believe that they will end up being taken advantage of if they don’t take advantage of others. Swapping Roles Along with these two experiences, one could also alternate between the two. One is then going to have moments when they take advantage of others, and moments when other people take advantage of them. When it comes to what role they identify with, it can all depend on how they feel. For example, if one doesn’t feel safe, they could end up behaving like victim, but if they feel safe, they could become the perpetrator. A Deeper Look What this can show is that doesn’t know how to experience life differently, and this is likely to be due to what took place during their early years. At this time, they may have been abused and/or neglected. This would have caused them to feel powerless, and at this age, they were a victim. The only people who had any control would have been their caregivers. Awareness Through having these experiences, one can believe that they only have two options: either they regress to how they felt as a child, or they identify with their caregivers. The first option will cause them to feel powerless, and the second option will allow them to feel sense of control. What this shows is that in order for their life to change, they will need to realise that there is another option. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Exercise: Can Someone Become Addicted To Exercise When They Can’t Regulate Their Emotions?12/12/2016
In order for someone to be able to function at their best, there are a number of things that can be done. For one thing, it will be important for them to eat the right food, and what is right for them won’t necessarily be right for another.
And if one doesn’t know what is right for them, they will only need to reach out for help. In today’s world, one will only have to go online, and if they don’t find what they need, they can simply ask an expert. Relationships Another thing that will need to take place is for one to be around the right people, or else this will be an area of their life that will cause them unnecessary stress. For example, if one was to spend time around people who are abusive, this would undoubtedly harm them. There would be the stress that they experience around these people, and they might even be physically harmed. It would then be a challenge for them to feel good about themselves. Worn Down And if one feels this way, it is going to make their life harder than it needs to be. The people in their life should have a positive effect on how they feel, and give them the support they need. When this takes place, not only will one feel supported; they will also have people to look to if they fall down. Ultimately one is not their own island, and this is why they need to have these kinds of people in their life. The Body Along with this, it will be vital for one to find the time to give their body the exercise that it needs. And in the same way there is not a one size fits all diet; there is not going to be a set routine for them to do. Firstly, one will need to find something that suits their needs, and this shouldn’t take very long. As although they could join a gym, they could find that this is not something that interests them. Boring If they were to do this, they could end up feeling like a robot, and this would make it hard for them to be consistent. It might be far better for them to do some one kind of class, or to do something outside. Through doing this, they could soon find that they have found something that fits their personality. Yet even if they were to get to a stage where they have had enough, they could just find something else. Guidance Also, if one doesn’t want to do this all by themselves, they could end up working with a personal trainer. Naturally, this will cost them more money, but it will also save them a lot of time and stress. Perhaps one could have one in the beginning and once they get an idea of what to do, they could do it by themselves. Or, they could see them every now and then, and this will more affordable for them. Well-Being Before long, one could find that they start to feel better about themselves, and this will partly be due to the chemicals that are released when they exercise. The effect this has on their appearance will be another factor that will play a part. There can then be the kind of things that their friends and family will say to them, and the responses they get from the people they don’t know. If one is in a relationship, their partner is also likely to appreciate the effort they are putting in. Another Experience Alternatively, one could be single, and they might start to see that people respond to them differently. One could go from feeling as though no one notices them, to feeling as though they stand out. But regardless of whether they are single or not, there is a strong chance that this feedback will give them even more encouragement to continue. Yet, even if they didn’t receive this kind of feedback from others, the effect the exercise it has on how they feel is likely to be more than enough to keep them going. Hooked However, while this could be something that is just another part of their life, it could end up taking over. One could find that they no longer have time to go out, or that the amount of money they spend exercising means that they can’t go out. In addition to this, they could find that they start to pick up a number of injuries, and this is naturally going to cause them to suffer. It could then be said that it would be a good idea for them to take a step back and to reflect on what is taking place. Emotionally Dependent Even so, one could find that they are unable to do this, and this could show is that exercise is a way for them to regulate how they feel. Through being unable to handle what is taking place within them, they end up mistreating their body to change how they feel. And while the people around them might soon notice that something isn’t right if they were addicted to something else, this is something that can end up going unnoticed. What this comes down to is that exercise is generally seen as something positive. Awareness The only way this is going to change is if one is able to deal with their emotions in another way, or if they were to cause their body so much harm that they can no longer exercise. Thus, the sooner they do something about this, the sooner they will be able to give their body the respect it deserves. It might be a good idea for one to work with a therapist, or they could find another way to change how they feel.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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