For quite some time now, images have been shared on social media where people are injecting and snorting ‘Likes’. These images have been created to emphasise the fact that some people are hooked on receiving ‘Likes’ from others.
And in the same way that a drug addict might not mind where their supply comes from; someone who is addicted to ‘Likes’ might not care where their supply comes from either. Ergo, it won’t matter if another friend gives them one or if a stranger does – it will still be the same. One Approach When someone has the need to receive as many ‘Likes’ as they possibly can, they can upload different pictures of themselves. This can be something that takes place throughout the day, with them being extremely fussy when it comes to the pictures that they actually upload. It is then not going to be case of them taking a picture of themselves and then uploading; it will be a far more complex process than this. Going from the first step to the final step could take a matter of hours, not minutes. A Part Time Job So, even if uploading pictures online is not a way for them to earn a living, they could still spend a hell of a lot of time doing all this. There can be the time that they spend taking the ‘perfect’ image, and then there can be the time they spend editing the image that they do share. The images that they share online can then look natural, but these images will be anything but natural. These images will be about as a natural as a piece of fruit that has been genetically modified. A Damaging Effect Other people can then see these images and end up experiencing negative thoughts and emotions. Someone like this could end up feeling down, and wonder why they don’t look as good as this person and/or why their life is not perfect like theirs. If this person realised that the person they are looking at doesn’t actually look this way or that their life is not perfect, their mental and emotional state may begin to shift. Until they have this realisation, they will most likely continue to compare themselves and/or their life with a false image and/or life. One Focus Still, if someone is focused on doing what they can to get as many ‘Likes’ as possible’ they might not even think about the effect their behaviour may be having on other people. In the same way that a drug addict can steal money from a charity box in order to pay for more drugs, not caring about the impact this will have; they can also do whatever they can to get their fix of ‘Likes’, being completely oblivious to how their behaviour will be impacting others. This is not to say that someone like this is heartless and is out to cause harm; it is just a natural consequence of them being so caught up in receiving positive feedback from others. It could be said that this is then tantamount to how if someone is looking in one direction, it won’t be possible for them to see what is taking place in another direction. Another Problem Along with their compulsive need to receive as many ‘Likes’ as they can, it can be even harder for them to handle the real world. This is the world where they can’t edit how they look or make out that their life is one big holiday. Due to the positive feedback that they receive for the sanitized version of their life that they share online, they can come to believe that their real self is not enough. The only way that they are enough, then, is when they edit who they are. More of the Same Another person could then believe that they are really attractive, live the perfect life and are really popular, for instance, yet behind all this can be someone who feels trapped. This person will have gradually created their own prison. To say that someone like this only believes that their real self is not enough due to the effect that social media has had on them, would most likely be a half-true. The fact that they looked towards social media for approval in the first place is likely to show that this was already an issue. An Analogy One way to look at this would be to imagine that one was sat on a seesaw, weighed down by their own negativity, and, through receiving ‘Likes’, it allowed them to rise up into the air. These ‘Likes’ are then going to be on the other end of the seesaw, thereby keeping them of off the ground. What this can show is that one finds it hard to experience positive feelings, which is why they are emotionally dependent on others. There is also the chance that they haven’t got any real friends in their life either. A Closer Look If they had the ability to experience positive feelings and they had a number of fulfilling relationships, there would be no reason for them to be hooked on social media. Without these two components in place, social media will be used to fill the hole that is within them, so to speak. What this may show is that their early years were a time when their needs were rarely, if ever, met, preventing them from being able to develop in the right way. They can find it hard to regulate their emotions, can carry a fair amount of shame, and feel uncomfortable opening up to others, among other things. Awareness If someone can see that they are addicted to receiving ‘Likes’, and they want to do something about this, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Critical Thinking: Is The Term 'Manspreading' An Example Of The Misandry That Exists In The World?10/12/2018
If a woman came across a man who is taking up two seats on a bus or a train, for instance, she could end up saying to herself that this is an example of ‘manspreading’. What this is likely to show is that she is a feminist, or she may just have been conditioned by feminism to see the world through a certain lens.
Having said this, a man could also respond in the same if he came across this type of behaviour. Once again, he could describe himself as a feminist or he may have just been conditioned by feminism to see the world through a certain lens. The Meaning Through spreading his legs in this manner, it can be as though the man is abusing his power. This is then going to be seen as merely one of the many ways that a man can oppress others. It will be something that doesn’t just have a negative on women, but on other men as well. Said another way, this is likely to be seen as yet another example of the ‘patriarchy’ in action. The Plague of The Earth Men are then going to be human beings that need to be kept in line, with this being the only way that the world will change for the better. Along with the having a word to describe what happens when a man takes up too much room, someone like this is likely to have a number of other terms. If a man talk when another woman is talking, he could be said to be ‘manterrupting’. And, if he was to talk down to a woman, it could be said that he is ‘mansplaining’. One-Sided Taking all this into account, someone like this is likely to believe that men are the only ones who do these things. Unlike men, women won’t behave in these ways, with this coming down to the fact that they are far more evolved than men. Due to this, it will be perfectly acceptable for a woman, or a man, to use these terms whenever a man behaves in one of these ways. Thus, if someone was to say that these terms are an example of misandry, there would be no evidence to support this view. Back To Reality The trouble with all these terms is that they relate to behaviour that both men and women engage in. But, while this is something that any rational human being will see, it is rarely acknowledged in the public eye. In a lot of cases, criticising a woman will result in a man being labelled as a sexist, but, if a woman was to criticise a man, it is unlikely that she would also be seen as being sexist. If men did indeed have all the power, would something like this happen? It’s Acceptable Ergo, while just about everything is being done in society to root out misogyny, very little is being done to root out misardry. Misogyny is seen as something that is unacceptable, but the same can’t be said for misandry. If misandry was seen as being just as bad, would men be routinely shamed for behaviours that don’t only relate to them? It could be said that while it is socially unacceptable to treat woman badly, it is socially acceptable to treat men badly. New Descriptions Let’s say that a number of terms were only applied to women, with these also relating to behaviours that both men and women display. These would most likely soon end up being seen as yet another example of misogyny and end up being outlawed before long. The mainstream media, the same source that supports all the male terms, would probably jump right on this. It would most likely be seen as another example of how powerful the ‘patriarchy’ is, amongst other things. Projection It has been said that people often accuse others of that which they are, and this is likely to be what is taking place here. Thanks to the fact that it is socially acceptable to hate men, a woman can accuse a man of a being a misogynist while not having to worry about being accused of being a misandrist. She might not even be aware of the hate that she feels for men, and, due how acceptable it is to verbally abuse men, there is not much chance that she will be encouraged to look into what is taking place within her. Her behaviour can be seen as being perfectly justified. Another Form of Abuse What this brings into focus is that while men can use their physical strength to abuse others, women can use language to do the same thing. However, if abuse is seen as something that only takes place when physical force is used, this type of abuse will be overlooked. In other words, a woman might not be able to cause harm by using force but she can cause harm through the use of manipulation. Naturally, this is a far more subtle way of causing harm, yet it is just as effective. Conclusion While it might be hard for some people to accept this, it doesn’t change the fact that there are both men and women in the world who are abusive; one gender is not all good and another gender is not all bad. The whole ‘all men are bad and all women are good’ is undoubtedly a view that is being promoted to divide men and women and to keep people distracted. The best thing that someone can do if they are carrying a lot of hate is to reach out for external support, so that they can heal the trauma that is within them. This is a process that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
In America, it is not hard to find someone who doesn’t like Donald Trump, or anywhere else in the world for that matter. Also, the mainstream media typically only has bad things to say about him.
Compared with the last president, Barack Obama, Trump is often seen as being a poor replacement. The person who was in power was then a decent human being, but the current person is power is not even half decent. One Outlook Based on this, a well balanced human being was in the white house, only to be replaced by an unhinged human being. It was then good and now it has gone bad, with it being a mystery as to how this has happened. Therefore, instead of choosing another good person and being able to move forward, everything has ended up going backwards. There are then going to be others who have a radically different view. The Reverse Along with this, there are people out there who believe that Trump is far better than the last president. What has taken place is then going to be seen as being a step in the right direction. If someone has this view, they could say that even though Obama came across very well, it doesn’t mean that he was good president. They could say that if it was purely about having someone who comes across well and not about what they actually do, an actor may as well be elected. A Mixed Response Ergo, even though the mainstream media can create the impression that everyone has the same view; it is clearly not this black and white. One then has to wonder if this source of information is biased and is not interested in informing the populace. This can’t be the case; surely one would need to be a conspiracy theorist to believe such a thing. With these responses aside, it has been said that both Trump and Obama are narcissists, along with a number of others presidents. An Odd Scenario If this is indeed the case, what does it say about the general public if people like this are rising to the top? Now, clearly not everyone voted for these people, and a lot of people don’t even vote. Even so, why is it that people like this are able to rise to these positions of power and to have so much control? And while it could be said that these people are merely puppets of the establishment, there is no denying that they still have a fair amount of power. Powerless It would be easy to say that this is something that just happens, and the people who voted for these presidents (along with the prime ministers that have been elected over the years) had no idea what they were really like. This helps absolve people of responsibility, but what it doesn’t do is provide a solution to what is going on. If the populace have no way of knowing what a candidate is really like, there is no saying as to when a level headed human being will end up in a position like this. Another way of looking at this would be to say that this is not something that just happens, yet the reason why this seems to be the case is due to the fact that self-awareness is not given much attention in today’s world. An Analogy While someone can believe that their view of a candidate is simply a representation of what they are like, this might not be the case. The way that they view them can be filtered through what is taking place within them. Thus, in the same way that a dirty window will have effect on what someone can see outside, what is taking place within them will influence how they perceive a candidate. This is then similar to how someone can end up projecting a lot of good traits onto another person when they are attracted to them, which will prevent them from being able to see them in a balanced light. For Example Let’s say that someone feel powerless at a deeper level, what this can then do is cause them to identity with a candidate who comes across as strong and acts like they are some kind of saviour. Identifying with this candidate will be a way of them to indirectly experience a sense of power. This person is then not going to be physically attached to the candidate, but they will feel mentally and emotionally attached to them. As to whether or not this candidate has got anything else going for them can then be overlooked. Another Factor Someone like this could feel like a weak, unstable and dependent child, setting them up to see this candidate a parental figure. Unconsciously, then, this candidate will be seen as someone who is going to save them. Due to what this person went through as a child, they might also feel comfortable with being controlled and told what to do. Consequently, if they were to come across a candidate who was level headed and encouraged personal responsibility, they might not be interested. Conclusion This is then no different to how someone, who was abused as a child, can feel comfortable being with people who are abusive. In addition to the effect that someone’s inner world can have on how they see a candidate, there is also going to be the effect that the education system has had on them. If someone has the ability to think critically, for instance, it can make easier for them to see what a candidate is like. However, if the education system taught them what to think, not how to think, it is going to be even harder for them to make an informed decision.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
There are a number of things that can cause someone to experience incredible pain, and a breakup is one of those things. When someone experiences a break up, it can feel as though their whole has come to end.
It won’t matter if they had been with the other person for matter of months or years, as the pain can wipe them out. One can then have gone from feeling on top of the world, to feeling as though they are at the bottom of the world. Knocked Down However, even if they didn’t feel this way, how they now feel is still likely to be radically different. One could then have a physically strong body, a body that is covered in muscle, but it won’t have an effect on how they feel. On the outside, then, they will look strong, yet they will feel incredibly weak on the inside. If they don’t have a body like this, they can still feel far weaker than they actually look. A Loss of Control Before this point in time, they may have been fairly balanced, and they may have also found it fairly easy to handle their emotions when this wasn’t the case. Now, their emotions will be out of control, and it could be more or less impossible for them to settle their emotions down. In fact, it could feel as though they are now all at sea and there is very little that they can do about it. One of their greatest needs can then be to do whatever they can to regain control over their inner world. One Option What one could end up doing, in order to experience support, is to reach out to their friends. It will then be perfectly clear that they are not going to have the need to hide how they feel; they will comfortable with being vulnerable. The strength that they are currently lacking internally will be provided by the people in their life. In the same way that scaffolding will hold up an unstable building; these people will hold up their unstable inner world. Two Ways As these people are able to be there for them in this way, it will most likely to show that these people also have a good relationship with their own emotions. They are then not going to be emotionally disconnected or believe that there is anything wrong with being emotionally vulnerable. Instinctively, they may also realise that no one is their own island, and that there will be moments in everyone’s life when they need emotional support. Thus, if they were not in a good way, they would also reach out to others in the same way. The Healthy Approach When one is not in a good way and they reach out to others, it is going to stop them from disconnecting from how they feel. This will enable them to work through the pain that they are in. This might take a few months or it could take even longer, yet the main thing is that they will allow this process to unfold. After a while, they will most likely gradually start to settle down, which will give them the chance to find someone else. Another Outcome Alternatively, one could end up using their mind to disconnect from how they feel, and this is likely to mean that they will rarely come into contact with their pain. And, even when this pain does come into their conscious awareness, they will soon do what they can to push it back down again into their body. This may mean that there isn’t anyone in their life who they can open up to, or it could just show that they don’t feel comfortable reaching out to others. Either way, this pain is going to stay trapped within them. A Divided Being What this will do is allow them to settle down without having to work through their emotional pain. The downside with this approach is that it will no longer be possible for them to function as a whole human being. Not only will they lose touch with their ‘bad’ feelings, they will also lose touch with their ‘good’ feelings. They can then come across as someone who is very flat, and they might even come across as cold. False Highs Through being out of touch with the very things that allow then to feel alive, they can end up being drawn to things that will artificially bring life into them. This may mean that they will end up being drawn to alcohol, drugs, have endless casual encounters and/or they may constantly go abroad. The down side is that the momentary feeling of aliveness that they get by engaging in such things will probably make it even harder for them to handle their normal state. It is then easy to see why they might become addicted to these things. Awareness If someone like this was to get in touch with their pain, they may find that they feel too ashamed to reach out to others. Keeping this pain to themselves by disconnecting from it, will then have been a way for them to safe face. Taking this into account, it will be essential for one to accept that there is nothing wrong with reaching out for support. And even if another person does try to shame them, it would simply show that this person has their own wounds to resolve. If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
There are going to be moments in everyone’s life when things are not running smoothly, with this being a time when they may need someone to open up to. If they were to reach out to someone, they could just go over what has been going on.
After this has taken place, one could soon direct their attention to the other person. This could be a time when one will ask about how they are and what has been taking place in their life. Another Time However, even if one doesn’t place their attention on what the other person has been going through, this could be something that rarely takes place. Therefore, when they usually talk to this person, it will be a two-way exchange. Perhaps, there have been moments when the other person has not been in a good place, causing them to only share what is going in their life. This is then just going to be part of life and not something that can be avoided. Drama Free It won’t be that one was getting bored and needed something dramatic to take place to keep them busy, either. Maybe they are having family problems or there could be something that is not right at work. This could be something that rarely takes place, meaning that they may usually have something positive to share when they reach out to others. Or at the very least, it might be something that is fairly neutral. Slightly Drained After one has opened up about a challenge they are going through, the other person may feel slightly weighed down by what has been uploaded onto then. If they are an ‘empath’, for instance, it can have an even greater effect on them. Fortunately, this won’t be something that the other person has to experience on a regular basis; if it was, it would undoubtedly have a negative effect on their wellbeing. Once the interaction has come to an end, they may need to do something to cleanse their energy – to restore their mental and emotional equilibrium. A Radical Different Dynamic Now, while the above will be a scenario that plenty of people will be able to relate to, there will be others who are unable to do so. For these people, the above scenario can sound too good to be true. What this can illustrate is that someone like this can have at least one person in their life who is always sharing their problems with them. It is then not going to be something that takes place every now and then; it will take place on a weekly, if not daily, basis. One Focus In this case, one can generally reach out to others when something is going wrong in their life. There may be moments when they are going through some heavy stuff, while at others it might be fairly trivial. Even so, one won’t take the time to find out about how the other person is; what they are going through is likely to be seen as being far more important. If the other person was to talk about their life, one might come across as apathetic or they may say that they have to go. Hooked On Drama One is not going to have a life that runs smoothly; it will be one problem after another. But, although one may come across as though they are not happy with how their life is, it will be clear that this is not completely true. If someone has just met them, they may believe that they are a victim and that the world has got it in for them. Their view of this person is likely to change, though, if they were to spend a certain amount of time with them. Wiped Out The person who one is sharing their problems with is likely to end up feeling drained after spending time with them. One won’t have put their teeth into them, so to speak, but they will have still sucked a lot of their life force out of them. If someone is an ‘empath’, it may be even harder for them to recover from an interaction like this. Ultimately, one will have dumped a fair amount of their negative energy onto them and taken a lot of their positive energy away. Two Parts Firstly, there is going to be what is going on for the person who has the tendency to dump their emotions onto others and, secondly, there will be what is going on for the person who has tendency to attract these people into their life. It would be easy to paint one person as the perpetrator and the other as the victim, but this doesn’t solve anything; this is a symbiotic relationship. There is a strong chance that both of these people have trouble with boundaries. A Deeper Look The person who has the tendency to dump their pain onto others probably doesn’t realise that other people are separate from them. Deep down, they may believe that other people are an extension of them. When it comes to the person who is often on the receiving end of this dumping, they may not realise that they are separate from others. Deep down, they may believe that they are an extension of others. Awareness The former is going to need to develop boundaries and to accept that other people are not responsible for them. The latter is also going to need to develop boundaries and to accept that they are not responsible for others. If one is used to being dumped on by others, they can be more likely to reach out for support; the reason being that they are far more likely to recognise that something is not right. This support can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
It could be said that the only way that someone can hide from others is if they isolate themselves. Therefore, if they are around other people, it won’t be possible for this to take place.
Nevertheless, while this might sound accurate, it is something that has very little basis in reality. In the same way that someone can hide by isolating themselves from others, they can also hide when they are around others. Disconnected As a result of this, it won’t matter if they are around others as they won’t be able to actually connect to them. The reason for this is that even though they will be physically there, they won’t be there emotionally. This will be a time when their true-self will be covered up, with them expressing their false-self instead. Their real needs and feelings are going to be covered up and they will take on an identity that doesn’t reflect their true essence. A Role What is taking place in their body is then going to be overlooked and their mind will end up taking over. This part of them will do what it can to make sure that they act in a way that will allow them to fit in. Through being out of touch with their body, they will be out of touch with their true-self. Their mind will compensate for this by looking towards other people for cues about how they should behave. Two Outcomes This may mean that they don’t come across as confident; then again, they may come across as though they have it all together. If they come across as confident, it will be a lot harder another person to realise that they don’t feel comfortable in their own skin. But regardless of how they come across, they are not going to feel comfortable enough to reveal who they really are. If they were to let go of the mask that they wear around others, they might end up feeling overwhelmed Protection Wearing this mask will stop them from being able to fully show up when they are around others, but that is unlikely to bother them. Deep down, they are likely to believe that if they were to reveal themselves, they would end up being rejected and abandoned by others. Putting on an act is then going to be a way for them to cover up how flawed they are and to be accepted by others. They will believe that they only have two options: to reveal who they are and end up being cast aside, or play a role and be included by others. From The Outside If another person was to find out about what is taking place within them, they might find it hard to understand what is going on. As far as they are concerned, one could just be seen as another human being. In their eyes, there will be absolutely no reason for them to feel as though there is anything wrong with them. And, even if they have made a few mistakes in life, it still doesn’t mean that they should feel this way. An Analogy When one experiences life in this way, shame is not going to be something that comes and goes - it will be something that has permeated their whole being. It is then going to be the difference between being splashed by water and being in water. Being splashed by water won’t have much of an effect on someone, but being in water will have a big effect on them. Likewise, experiencing shame from time to time is unlikely to cause one too many problems, but being loaded up with shame certainly will. Stuck From the outside, it can look as though one has about as much freedom to express themselves as anyone else; nonetheless, one is not going to feel free. Thanks to how they experience life, it will be as if they are in an invisible prison. But, due to how worthless they feel, they might not even try to do anything to break free from their invisible prison. The mere thought of reaching to others for support could fill them with fear and anxiety. What Is Going On? Someone like this is unlikely to believe that hell is an afterlife location, as it will be something that they are experiencing right now. They will be in a bad way, yet they might feel too bad about themselves do anything about it. It is highly likely that what took place during their childhood years played the biggest part in how they are experiencing life. Perhaps this was a time when they were abused and/or neglected. Awareness Their caregivers may have also carried a lot of shame, causing them to gradually pass this shame onto them. At this age, one wouldn’t have been able to realise that how their caregivers treated them was not a reflection of their own worth. If one is loaded up with toxic shame, and they want to change their life, they will most likely need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
In order for two people to have a relationship together, they will both need to be able to behave like interdependent adults. The reason for this is that if only one of them acts like an interdependent adult, it will stop this from taking place.
Instead, what will happen is that one of them will be like a parent and the other will be like a child. This is then not going to be something that takes place from time to time; it will take place more or less all of the time. Unavoidable Naturally, there are going to be moments in just about every relationship where one person will regresses to a childlike state. Due to the amount of stress that they are in, it will cause them to devolve to an earlier stage in their life. However, after a little while the state they are in is likely to change, allowing them to return to their adult self. This can be something that takes place if they have experienced a loss or if they have too much going on in their life. Extending Themselves When one of them regresses, the other could make it clear that they are there for them. There is likely to be the emotional support that they give them, and they might even do a number of things for them that they wouldn’t usually do. Once this stage has passed, their partner could let them know how thankful they are for their support, and even end up treating them in some way. Yet, if something like this took place all the time, it would be incredibly tiring for the other person. Out of Balance It would no longer be possible for them to have an adult to adult relationship; it would be a relationship where one person is looking after the other. One person’s needs would then be met, but the others persons needs would end up being overlooked. As a result of what is taking place, the person who is behaving more like a caregiver is likely to gradually lose interest. Regardless of whether this person has children, they won’t be willing to act like this person’s parent. A Loss of Interest If they were to act like this person’s parent, it probably wouldn’t be long until they would be running on empty. They might end up telling their partner directly about what is on their mind, or they could simply end the relationship. The former will give their partner the chance to change, while the latter won’t give them that option. At the same time, if one is only dating this person and hasn’t been with them for very long, it will be lot easier for them to cut their ties. Another Outcome However, while there will be people who will be repelled by this behaviour and have no interest whatsoever in being with someone like this, there will be others who are different. Consequently, being in a relationship with someone who sees them as their parent is going to suit them. One is then going to do far more for their partner than their partner will do for them. But, even though this will be something that they will put up with, it doesn’t mean that they will be fully on aboard with what is taking place. Two Parts There could be times when they get really annoyed about what their partner is like, wondering what it would be like to be in a relationship with someone who can actually be there for them. In addition to this, they might spend a fair amount of time complaining about their relationship to their family and friends. Yet, as draining as it will be for them to be with someone like this, it won’t be enough for them to do anything about it. It could then be said that being with someone like this is going to be what feels comfortable at a deeper level or they would do something about it. The Benefit The reason why being with someone like this can feel comfortable is because they have a fear of being abandoned. A number of their needs are then going to be overlooked, but as this person is dependent on them, they will be less likely to leave them. Their need to be with someone who won’t leave them is then going to be far stronger than their need to be with someone who they are truly attracted to. And, until their inner world changes, this area of their life is unlikely to change either. Back In Time If they were to take a closer look at what their early years were like, they may find that this was a time in their life when they were neglected. Thus, the consistent care that they needed to develop a strong sense of self wouldn’t have been provided. What took place at this stage of their life would have caused them to develop a fear of being abandoned, and it would have caused them to experience the pain of being abandoned. Ultimately, one is going to be carrying trauma that will need to be resolved. Awareness If they simply focus on what is taking place in their mind, it is unlikely to resolve what is taking place in their body. Once the trauma in their body is dealt with, their mind should settle down. This is a process that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
There are a number of things that can cause a relationship to come to an end, and some of these things receive more exposure in the public eye than others. For example, it is not uncommon to hear about someone who had an abusive partner and how this caused their relationship to come to an end.
Along with being in an abusive relationship, there are those who were in a relationship with someone who continually cheated on them. Now, while this is what some people out there have been through, there are undoubtedly people who are going through these kinds of things right now. Hidden If one is in a relationship with someone who is abusive, they are likely to know about it (that is unless being treated in this way is normal and, therefore, doesn’t stand out). However, if one is in a relationship with someone who is having an affair or who routinely cheats, they might not be aware of it. One can then believe that they are in a relationship that is going well, only to have a partner who is sharing their body with other people. Their lack of knowledge of what is taking place is going to save them a fair amount of pain, at least in the short-term. A Matter of Time But, sooner or later, they are bound to get an idea about what is taking place. They might see something that makes it clear that their partner is straying, or they could just sense that something is not right. What they do at this point can depend on a number of different factors. If one is a fairly strong and confident person, they could end up talking to their partner directly about what is on their mind. Another Approach Alternatively, they could be so caught up in their idealised version of their partner that they are unable to fully accept what is taking place in front of their eyes. Putting up with what is taking place is then going to be painful, but it will be even more painful for them to come to terms with what is actually going on. Perhaps one doesn’t feel very strong on the inside, which has caused them to see their partner as the centre of the world. Their eggs are then all going to be in one basket, so to speak, setting them up to be emotionally dependent on their partner. A Complex Dynamic What this illustrates is why some people just put up with their partner cheating and don’t do anything about it. In this case, they won’t even try to resolve what is taking place; simply putting up with their behaviour. On the other side of this, of course, is the big question about why someone would continually stray. There are a whole host of reasons as to why someone would behave in this way. One Reason There are hundreds of listicles out there that go into the different reasons as to why this takes place. If these common cited reasons are put to one side, it will create the space to become aware of another reason that is often overlooked. What needs to be brought to the table here is that even though human beings look like one person from the outside, it doesn’t mean that they are one person on the inside. On the inside, they can have many different selves within them, with a different self taking over at different moments of their life. A Closer Look So, let’s say that there is the self that shows up when one’s relationship is going well and another self that shows up when it isn’t going well. The first part could be able to experience self-control, while the other part might have no self-control whatsoever. When this second part shows up, their impulses could end up taking over, making it more or less impossible for them to resist what is taking place. Yet, if this part of them has taken over, they might not want to resist. Inner Disharmony Once this part is no longer in control of them and they are able to think clearly, they might end up being overwhelmed with guilt. It might seem as though they were possessed by something, vowing never to behave in this way again. The days or weeks could pass, though, and they could end up doing the same thing all over again. It is then going to be clear that trying to fight this part of them is not going to work; another approach will be needed. A Divided Self In addition to the different selves that are within them, there is going to be the part of them that is aware, the part that simply observes. The self that takes over and causes them to lose control, for instance, can be the result of early childhood trauma. One may have had an experience that was too painful for them to handle, and how they felt would then have been pushed out of their awareness. Their experience would then have been split-off in order for them to handle the amount of pain that they experienced. A Lack of Integration But, even though this part of them was split-off all those years ago, it is still exerting its influence over their life. There will then be times when this split-off part is like a piece of paper that is blowing in the wind and is nowhere near them, whilst there will be other times when it will be on their face, preventing them from seeing clearly. All the time that this part, along with all the other parts, is within them, it is going to be a challenge for them to act like a conscious human being. It will be normal for them to act in ways that are destructive to themselves and others. Awareness If someone can relate to this, and they want to become a more integrated human being, they may need to reach out for external support. This can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
In the same way that it wouldn’t be a good idea for someone to put anything into their mouth; it also wouldn’t be a good idea for them to open themselves up to anyone. Therefore, the level of discernment that they show when it comes to the former will need to be shown when it comes to the latter.
If someone exercises discernment when it comes to their relationships, they are undoubtedly going to save themselves a lot of trouble. Still, this doesn’t mean that this area of their life will always run smoothly; what it means is that they won’t have the tendency to open their front door, so to speak, to just anyone. Two Levels When they meet someone, it most likely won’t be long until they have an idea about whether or not they want them to be a part of their life. This will apply to someone who could be a friend or to someone who they could have an intimate relationship with. There will be what takes place at a conscious level and what takes place an unconscious level. One is then not going to need to rely on their intellect alone in order to know if another person is right for them, as their intuition will assist them. Super Fast This part of them is like an advanced computer as it doesn’t take long to pick up information and then to send this information up to their conscious mind. Their intellect, on the other hand, is extremely slow in comparison. This part of them will be trying to work out what another person is like based on their body language, behaviour and facial expressions, for instance. What is different about their intuition is that it picks up on another person’s energy. Another Component So, in the same way that their intellect will enable them to read a piece of paper, their intuition will enable them read another person’s energy field. However, if it wasn’t for what is taking place at an emotional level, it would be a lot harder of them to know if another person is suitable for them. Due to being emotionally together, this part of them is generally not going to have a negative effect on this area of their life. What this means is that they are likely to feel whole and complete. The Odd Occasion This doesn’t mean that they will never feel needy, though, as there could be times when this is exactly how they feel. But, even if they do feel this way, it might not be enough for them let anyone into their life. During these moments in their life, their friends could help them to regulate how they feel. The ability that they have to handle their own emotions is also going to help them to handle the ups and down of life. A Different Scenario But, while there will be people who are able to exercise discernment when it comes to who they let into their life, there are going to be others who are unable to do so. When it comes to what goes into mouth, they could be fine. Consequently, one could look back on their life and see that they have had a number friends and partners who were extremely harmful. Along with this, their life could be filled with people like this now. Undermined Perhaps they are in a relationship with someone who is abusive, or they could be with someone who simply drains them. This person is then not going to abuse them, but what they will do is take far more than they give. Either way, this area of their life is going to have a negative effect on their whole life, making it more or less impossible for them to function at their best. What they may find is that they are unable to pay attention to the guidance that is within them. A Strong Need What they may find, if they were to connect to what is taking place at a deeper level, is that they have a strong fear of being abandoned. Through having this fear, it will be essential for them to make sure that they are not alone. And, as this is their main priority, they are not going to be too concerned about what another person is like. Their ability to think clearly, along with their intuition, will be put to one side. The Best Option The pain that one experiences by being around the wrong people is then not going to be seen as being as bad as how painful it would be if they were to not have anyone around. What this is likely to show is that one doesn’t just have a fear of being abandoned; they are also carrying the pain of being abandoned. One is going to have disempowering beliefs and they will have a fair amount of trauma in their body. This is likely to be the result of what took place during the beginning of their life, with this most likely being a time when they were neglected. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
In recent years, the term ‘hate speech’ and ‘hate speech laws’ have received a fair amount of exposure. Unsurprisingly, there are people who are on board with all this and there are people who are not.
Hate speech relates to speech that is ‘hateful, threatening, or abusive,’ and is aimed at someone on the basis of their ‘disability, ethnic or national origin, nationality (including citizenship), race, religion, sexual orientation, or skin colour’. Therefore, if someone says something that is hateful, threatening, or abusive and this is because of one of the aforementioned reasons, they could be in a lot of trouble. What’s The Problem? On the surface, this sounds perfectly acceptable; after all, why should anyone have to put up with bad behaviour. No matter what someone looks like or what their sexual orientation is, for instance, they shouldn’t have to worry about what will happen when they go out into the world or online. So, thanks to these hate speech laws, it will be a lot easier for them to relax when they are around others or online. If another person was to treat them badly due to what they look like, for instance, they will be able to do something about it. Excellent News Let’s say that someone has been treated badly due to their sexual orientation for many years, for instance, they could be very happy with what is taking place now. Having these laws might allow them to feel a lot safer. Also, if someone hasn’t experienced anything like this they might know people who have. Perhaps they have seen the amount of pain that a friend or a family member has gone thorough over the years, as a result of how badly they have been treated. Black and White The only way, then, that someone could have a problem with these laws is if they believe that this kind of behaviour is acceptable. One option might be to make someone like this have ‘sensitivity training’. Once they have been ‘educated’, they will soon come to their senses and realise that there is nothing wrong with these laws. However, although it may seem as though this would be the only reason why someone would object to these laws, there is a lot more to it. The Big Problem What someone could point out about all this is that an incident only needs to be perceived as a hate crime in order for it to be seen as one. Said another way, absolutely no evidence whosoever is needed. Someone can then say that they were on the receiving end of a hate crime or a hate incident, or they can say that another person was, and they won’t need to prove that this was actually the case. The police will then get involved and what took place will end up being logged as a hate crime. A Hidden Agenda It doesn’t take an expert in critical thinking to see that while these laws might sound good on the surface, they are being used in the wrong way. What sounds like a way to keep people safe, is simply another way to control people. But, what is beneficial for the people at the top is that these laws allow people to keep their fellow citizens in line. Having police around to do this is then not as important as there will be people who will do this without needing to be paid. Walking On Eggs Shells A number of people have already been punished for hate crimes, even though there was very little evidence to prove that they did anything wrong. Still, through making an example of these people, it sends a strong message to people. The view that hate speech laws are there to protect people is merely an illusion; in reality, they are a smokescreen that is being used cover op the fact that the people in power are control freaks. But, of course, controlling people directly would create resistance, which is why it needs to be done in an underhand manner. Two Levels One way of looking at this would be to say that there are the people at the top who are addicted to power and want to control everyone and everything, and, at the bottom, there are plenty of people who want to experience power. What these hate speech laws do is allow someone who feels powerless to experience power. As they feel powerless on the inside, having power over others is going to be incredibly appealing. To exercise control over another person, the only thing that someone like this will need to do is say that they experienced a hate crime or hate incident or that another person did. A Gradual Process These laws will give someone like this a hell of a lot of power over other people. Someone like this won’t have as much power over others as the tyrants at the top, but these laws will give them power over others nonetheless. Could it be, then, that the people at the top are trying to turn the people at the bottom into carbon copies of themselves? Through having a whole world of mini tyrants, it will allow them to cover up their own sickness. Conclusion They won’t need to produce mini tyrants in a lab; they will be able to rely on social engineering to do it instead. Ergo, in the same way that god supposedly ‘made man in his own image’, these people will are trying to make man (human beings) in their own image. Due to the amount of propaganda that is around today, someone needs to have a degree in understanding manipulation to be able to protect themselves. In today’s age, it is essential to question just about everything.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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