If one was to have a conversion with a friend or a family member, for instance, there will be what they say and what the other person says. What this comes down to is that one will talk and they will listen.
Two Parts This doesn’t mean that they will speak for a certain amount of time and then they will listen for the same amount of time, as it is unlikely to work this way. Being able to talk will please them, and being able to listen will please the other person. There is also the chance that one will enjoy listening to what the other person has to say and vice versa. If they are close friends, both of them will enjoy using their mouth and their ears. A Deep Appreciation When one speaks, and the other person listens, it is going to show that they care about what they have to say. One is then going to feel as though what they have to say is important and that they are appreciated. Therefore, when one listens to the other person, they are also going to be sending out the same message. One is going to be treating their friend in the right way, and this is going to have a positive effect on their relationship. The Small Things Taking the time to listen doesn’t take a lot of effort, but it is something that plays a big part in being able to have a fulfilling relationship with someone. This is why it is often said that it is not the big things that make the difference in a relationship; it is the small things. If one is close to someone, they are likely to find that this is because of all of the small things that have taken place. Each thing will have built on top of the other, and as time has passed, this would have created a strong connection between them. Two Parts Ultimately, behaving in this way will allow them to fulfil certain needs, and it will allow them to meet some of the needs that other people have. For one thing, they are going to have the need to be heard. This need will be met when someone listens to them, and they will fulfil another persons need to be heard when they listen to what they have to say. After all, one is not an independent human being; they are an interdependent human being. Boundaries As one behaves in this way, it is likely to show that they know where they begin and end, and where other people begin and end. The reason for this is that they are not going to have the tendency to talk over other people. One will be able to stay in their space (body) and to see that other people are not an extension of them; that they have their own needs and feelings. And as they behave in this way, it is likely to mean that they won’t have inclination to walk over others either. One Step Too Far If they did talk over someone, they might soon realise what has taken place, and this could cause them to take a step back. This could take place if they are passionate about something, for instance. But as they have the ability to see when this takes place, it is going to be a lot easier for them to do something about it. Whereas if this was something they were not even aware of, they wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. Another Experience When one does behave in this way and they are not aware of it, it is likely to have a negative effect on their life. But even if they do have moments when they realise that they are doing something that is having a negative effect, it doesn’t mean that they will completely change their behaviour. For example, they could stop what they are doing, and then do the same thing shortly after. Either way, it is going to be normal for them to talk a lot, and the people they spend time with are not going to be able say a lot. Out of Balance One is then not someone who doesn’t talk enough; they are someone who talks too much. Though being this way, they are likely to be drawn to people who don’t talk very much, and this is going to suit them. Looking at this from a spiritual perspective, one has a throat charka that is spinning to fast, and the people in their life who don’t talk enough have one is that is spinning too slow. This is then why they find it hard to listen to other people. The Consequences When one talks over someone or doesn’t let them speak, the other person can feel as though they are being walked over. They can feel as though one doesn’t care about what they have to say, and that they don’t respect them. And while there will be people who will put up with this kind of behaviour, there are going to be others who won’t. Their behaviour could have caused a number of people to walk away from their life. A Deeper Look Even though one walks over others, it doesn’t mean that their life has always been this way; there may have been a time in their life when they were walked over. Perhaps this is what took place when they were younger. Through being treated in this way, it would have stopped them from being able to develop boundaries. This is then why they don’t know where they begin and end, and where other people begin and end. Awareness At a deeper level, one is likely to believe that if they don’t behave in this way, it will cause other people to walk over them. There may even be people in their life who don’t allow them to express themselves. If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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If one stays up to date with what is taking place in the world and/or if they use social media, they may be familiar with the term ‘social justice warrior’ or SJW for short. One way of looking at this would be to say that this is someone who is trying to make a difference in the world.
Problems, Problems Everywhere They might have one thing that they focus on, or they could have a number of areas that consume them. And as there are a lot of problems in the world, it could be said that it is a good thing that they are doing what they can to change the status quo. There is likely to be what this person does online, as well as what they do offline. What they may find is that they can do far more online than they can offline, and this shows how much of a difference the internet has made. A Voice One of the things that the internet has done has given people the ability to express themselves, and it doesn’t matter what their background is or how much money they have, for instance. The only thing that someone needs to do in order to share their views with the world is to create some kind of blog. Or if this is not something that appeals to them, they could simply create their own videos instead. From here, one can share what they have created on a social media site, and it could end up being seen by thousands of people. A Platform So, as someone can make a difference through writing blog posts, creating videos and/or just leaving comments, it shows that they are more ‘privileged’ than their ancestors. They have the ability to do something that the people who came before them were unable to do. In the past, they would have had to rely on someone else to share their views with the world. When it comes to what annoys them, it is highly likely that they will only focus on the western world. A Blind Eye Therefore, it is not going to matter if what is taking place in other countries is far worse than what is taking place in their own country, as it is not going to interest them. As far as they are concerned, their country could be one of the worst places, if not the worst, to live. When in reality, they could live somewhere that is far better than just about every other country. What this emphasises is what can happen when someone is completely consumed by what is wrong and overlooks what is right. Out of Proportion Now, this is not to say that someone should ignore what is wrong and only focus on what is right, as this would be no better. What it comes down to is that it is important to put things into perspective. For example, if one lives in America or England, for instance, they could talk about how bad it is, but if they were to go and live somewhere else for a short while, they could be in for a big shock. It might then become clear to them that while where they lived had problems, these problems pale in comparison to the problems they have in the country they currently live in. The Contrast Nevertheless, when one has only lived in one country and they are focused on what is wrong with it, it is going to stop them from being able to appreciate the good things that their country has to offer. This is why it is often said that travel is so important, as it allows people to expand their mind. And through travelling to other countries, it will give one the opportunity to find one that works for them. What they may find is that just like there are places in their own country where they wouldn’t want to go, there are places in the world where they wouldn’t want to go either. One Issue One of the things that someone is likely to focus on, that is if they are social justice warrior, is how women are treated. In one way of another, they will talk about how bad woman have it in the west, but they probably won’t talk about how women are treated in the Middle East, for instance. It is then as if women in the worst are worse off than anywhere else on the planet, which means that western men are also the worst men on the planet. When in reality, women are far better off in most western countries than they are anywhere else, and men are, in general, amicable. The Name With this in mind, it doesn’t take long to understand why it is hard to take them seriously. These people might look like adults, but their behaviour has more in common with a child. During the beginning of someone’s life, they are going to be emotionally unstable and they will be highly idealistic. Yet, as long as they are given the right care, they will gradually grow out of this. Emotionally Stuck One way of looking at this then, would be to say that a social justice warrior is someone who is developmentally stunted. Their early years were a time when they didn’t get the kind of care that they need to develop in the right way, and this could mean that they were abused and/or neglected. This is why they find it hard to manage their emotions and they are unable to face reality. And as they find it hard to regulate what is taking place within them, it stops them from being able to think clearly. Validation It is often said that a social justice warrior doesn’t actually care about what they are fighting for, and that it is just a way for them to ‘virtue signal’. What also backs this up is the fact that they rarely know what they are talking about. Even so, there are likely to be plenty of people who will support what comes out if their mouth. Some of these people will agree with them and there will be others who go along with what they say for other reasons, and this will stop them from having to face up to the fact that what is coming out their mouth has very little, if any, basis in reality. Two Benefits On one side then, they will be able to look good through virtue signalling, and on the other, they will be able to change how they feel. The reason why they have such a strong need receive positive feedback can be because they feel worthless. And as they find it hard to experience inner control, it is going to be normal for them to try to control others. Silencing other people will be a way for them to settle down their inner world and to make sure that they are not ‘offended’. Conclusion When someone’s childhood has left them with mental and emotional problems, the ideal would be for them to reach out for external support. This may allow them to gradually heal themselves But while this is the ideal, this is often the exception as opposed to the rule, and this can mean that someone will end up harming others instead. A social justice warrior can be seen as someone who needs to reach out for professional help.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If one had a friend who was going through a challenging time, they might look into what they could do to assist them. This could be a time when they will listen to what is going on for them and offer their advice.
Then again, this might not be enough, and they could offer to take them out for the day instead. Or, they might take them out and give them advice whilst they are spending time together. One Part However, regardless of what they do for this person, it is unlikely to be something that will end up consuming their whole life. One is going to have other things to do, as well as other things to think about. It could be said that this is to be expected; after all, one is not an extension of the other person. If they were to get caught up in what is taking place, it would cause them to neglect their own life. A Challenging Time This is not to say that there won’t be moments in their life when they do end up neglecting their life in order to be there for a friend, for instance. What it means is that that this will be the exception as opposed to the rule. For example, if one of their friends has just lost someone, they might need their support for quite some time. One could then spend more time with them or they could spend more time talking to them over the phone than usual. Balance During the moments when they are not assisting them, it will be possible for them to focus on their own needs. It is then through being there for themselves that they are able to be there for others. Also, one is not going to end up doing too much for other people, which this means that they are not going to disempower them. To say that one could harm another person by doing too much could be hard to believe. A Different Kind of Relationship When this takes place, one is going to be acting more like the other persons parent. One is not going to see them as a friend or their partner, for instance, they will see them as someone who is incapable of standing on their own two feet. Now, this is not to say that this is exactly what will be going though their mind; yet, this is what their behaviour will suggest. Fortunately, when one has good boundaries this is not going to take place. Healthy Limits Through having boundaries, one will know where they begin and end, and where other people begin and end. So if they were to do too much, they would soon realise that it was time for them to take a step back. What this will also come down to is that they are an empowered human being, and this is going to stop them from having the need to keep another person down. Thus, although they will lend a hand to someone, they are not going to try to change their life for them. Another Experience While this is how some people will live their life, there are going to be others will who have a different approach. One is then going to spend a lot of time doing things for the people in their life. In fact, one could give far more than they receive, meaning that their relationships are going to be out of balance. Yet, even though this is the case, one might not even be aware of this. The Priority And even if they do have moments when they realise what is taking place, it might not have an effect on them. As far as they are concerned, they will be doing the right thing by overlooking their own needs. One is not just going to give a helping hand though; they will believe that it is their responsibility to solve other people’s problems. On the surface it will be as if one is doing the right thing, but this is going to be nothing more than an illusion. An Unhealthy Dynamic It could be said that if one wasn’t there to help these people, it would be a lot harder of them to cope. The trouble is that as one does so much for others; it stops them from being able to embrace their own power. One is then enabling their behaviour as supposed to truly helping them and, if they were no longer around, they might find someone else to rescue them. Or, they might end up looking into what they can to save themselves. A Closer Look Also, it is highly unlikely that one is doing this because they are needless; what it is likely to show is that they feel ashamed of their own needs. Being there for others is then an indirect way for them to meet their own needs. But as a lot of the people they try to rescue are going to be consumed by their own needs, this is rarely going to take place. When someone doesn’t return the favour, it could cause them to be filled with rage. Avoidance Even so, it might not be long until they disconnect from how they feel, though, and end up doing what they can to rescue someone else. What this shows is that one is running away from themselves. There is the chance that their younger years were a time when their needs were rarely, if even, met. Instead of their caregivers being there for them, they may have had to meet their needs. Awareness This would then have set them up to believe that other people’s needs are more important than their own needs and to disconnect from their own needs. It is then going to be a good idea for them to change what they believe and to heal the pain that is within them. The assistance of a therapist or a healer may be needed here.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Emotional Expression: Can The Fear Of Abandonment Stop Someone From Expressing How They Feel?7/8/2017
If someone wanted to explain something to another person, there are a number of ways for them to do so. It could be said that the most important thing will be for them to use words, as this will allow them to be understood.
In addition to this, they can use their body and their emotions. Now, these two parts are clearly not essential, but what they will do is bring what they have to say to life. A Big Difference Through utilising their body and emotions, it will be a lot easier for the other person to pay attention to what they have to say. It then might not matter if what they have to say is not very interesting. What this comes down to is that what someone says is not always as important as how they say it. So, if one knows how to express themselves, there is a greater chance that other people will listen to them. Part of Life When one feels comfortable with their emotions it will be normal for them to behave in this manner. This can show that they have a healthy relationship with their emotions, and this is then why they don’t need to reject this part of their nature. Consequently, there is the chance that one will also be happy to express how they feel. Through being this way, they won’t need to ignore how they feel and to come across as stoic. A Time and A Place This doesn’t mean that they will always express how they feel, as there are going to be moments in their life when this is not going to be a good idea. For example, if one had job where they had to serve customers, they are not always going to be able to express how they feel. As if a customer was to cause problems, it will be necessary for them to act in a civilised manner. If they were to allow their emotions to get the better of them, it might end up causing even more problems. A Choice However, moments like these are going to be the exception as opposed to the rule, as one won’t always behave in this way. One will have the freedom to express how they feel, and this is likely to have a positive effect on all of their relationships. Now only will it be easier for other people to pay attention to what they have to say, it will be easier for people to connect to them. After all, it is not just ideas that connect people; it is also how they feel. A Deeper Connection If one was to think about the people in their life who they have a strong connection with, they are likely to find they share how they feel with them and that these people do the same. It is through sharing how they feel that enables them to have such a strong connection. On the other hand, if one was think about the people in their life who they don’t have this kind of connection with; they may find that they only talk about surface level things. They are then sharing what is taking place in their mind, but that’s about it. Another Part Still, this is not to say that one can form a strong connection with someone by just expressing how they feel as it is not this black and white. Naturally, there are going to other things that need to be in place. For one thing, it will be a good idea for them to have the same values; having similar interests will also help. Thus, it will be a challenge for one to form a strong connection with someone if they don’t express how they feel. Comfortable So, if one is going through challenging time in their life, they could get in touch with a friend and express how they feel. During this time one is being vulnerable, and it could be said that this takes a lot of courage. Another way of looking at it would be to say that what this shows is that one feels comfortable enough to open up. Regardless of what they are going through, they will be able to open up to the people they are close to. Another Experience It then doesn’t take a lot of brain power to see that if one can’t express how they feel, their life is going to be very different. They are then going to be happy to share what is taking place in their mind, but that will generally be as far as it will go. From the outside, it might seem as though nothing ever affects them, and there could be people who see this as a good thing. They could admire the fact that nothing ever seems to faze them; it might seem as though they are incredibly robust. Disconnected What this could show is that these people are on the other end of the spectrum, meaning that they are controlled by their emotions and one controls how they feel. Yet, while one side can be seen as being better than the other, they are both going to lead to problems. Ultimately, one is going to spend a lot of time being out of touch with how they feel, and this is going to make it hard for people to connect to them and for them to connect to others. If they do get in touch with how they feel, it could be because they are by themselves. What’s going on? Therefore, it is not that one doesn’t have emotions; it is that they find it hard to express how they feel around others. So even though they will come across as stoic around others, they could be highly emotional when they are by themselves. When this is what feels safe, it is likely to show that they fear that something bad will happen if they embrace how they feel around others. If they were to get in touch with their body, they may find that they fear that they will be abandoned. The Reason During their younger years, they may have been brought up by a caregiver who was unable to be there for them emotionally. If they expressed their emotions around them, they may have been abandoned. Through being treated in this way, one would have learnt that it wasn’t safe for them to express their emotions. In order to survive, they would have had to disconnect from how they feel. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If someone wanted to relieve themselves sexually in the past, they may have had a magazine or a paper to look through. This probably would have meant that at least one person would have seen them buy it.
There is the chance that this was not something that bothered them, or it might not have fazed them. And once they were no longer interested in a magazine/paper, they would need to go through the whole process again. It’s All Changed Nowadays, someone no longer needs to go anywhere in order to find something to stimulate themselves with. The only thing that they need to have is a Smartphone, and this will open them up to more stimulation than they will ever need. Here, they will be able to find millions of videos and pictures, and there will be no need for them to pay for any of it. Consequently, one will save a lot of money and there will be no need for them to feel ashamed. Hidden Ultimately, one will be able to watch something or to look at pictures no matter where they are. Of course, one could feel ashamed of what they are doing even if no one knows about it. In this case it’s not as if they feel this way because another person knows what they are doing, but it could be due to what they have been told in the past. Perhaps one was brought up in an environment where masturbation was seen as a bad thing, for instance. Stress Release It has been said that masturbation can help someone to relax, and this is why ‘masturbation breaks’ have been suggested at work. In addition to this, it can release sexual tension and help someone to sleep better. With this in mind, it could be said that there is no need for someone to feel bad about masturbating. However, there is naturally going to be a difference between doing this from time to time and doing it practically all the time. Another Factor Along with this, there is also the effect that pornography has on someone, and the effect it has can depend on how often they are exposed to it. When someone watches porn, it is likely to have a positive effect on them. The reason for this is that dopamine is released, and this is the neurotransmitter responsible for reward and pleasure. This is going to cause them to feel good and if they feel this way when they watch it, they are going to come back for more. Hooked There is going to be the pleasure they receive through touching themselves and the boost they get through having a spike in their dopamine. It is then clear to why someone would become addicted to porn. What started off as just a way for them to relieve themselves can end up taking over their whole life. One could also find that they need to constantly increase the amount of porn that they watch just to get the same hit. The Law Of Diminishing Returns This is due to the fact that their brain will adjust to what it is being exposed to, and this is then no different to any other addiction. If one is a man, they could find that they begin to lose their motivation. It has been said that when a man ejaculates, it causes his testosterone to lower, and this is why it is often said that men shouldn’t ejaculate on a regular basis. One way of looking at this would be to say that this is a load of rubbish; another approach would be for a man to try it and to see what happens. One Gender And when it comes to porn, it might seem as though men are the only ones who watch it, but this is not the case. Recently, it has been found that there are plenty of women who watch it on a regular basis. As a result of this, there will be the effect that porn has on a man and the effect that it has on a woman. On the one side, there will be effect that porn has on someone’s behaviour, and on the other, there will be the effect it has on their expectations. Behaviour If one is single, they can lose their interest in finding a real person to connect with; preferring to look to their phone instead. And if they are in a relationship, they could end up losing interest in their partner. They may find that they are no longer turned on by them and that the kind of sex that they used to enjoy no longer does it for them. If they are a man, they may even struggle to get an erection when they are making love with their partner. Expectations Through watching a certain amount of porn, a woman can end up expecting a man to last forever, to give her an orgasm more or less straight away, and to have a massive penis. It is then not going to matter that what they are watching has very little, if any, basis in reality, as it will define her outlook. A man, on the other hand, can end up having absolutely no idea about what a woman actually wants in the bedroom, and they can expect every woman to have the ‘perfect vagina’. Thus, due to what he has seen on a screen, he is going to expect things that can’t be delivered. Conclusion What this shows is that it is not possible for one to consume something on a regular basis without being effect by it. There are, of course, a number of reasons as to why someone would become addicted to porn. This could show that someone finds it hard to handle their own emotions, or that they find it hard to connect to others. Either way, if this is something that is having a negative effect on their life it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external support.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If one is going through a challenging time or if they are just confused about something, they might end up asking a friend/family member for advice. This could be because they see them as someone who can help.
A Special Bond At the same time, it might come down to the fact that they trust this person. And this means that it will be normal for them to reach out to them no matter what they are going through. There are likely to be moments when they will be able to asset them and moments when they are unable to do so. Even so, one could find that they feel better by just having this person to talk to. A Direct Approach Alternatively, one could look into what they can do change what is taking place and end up taking action. For example, if one is having problems at work, they could go at speak to their manager. If this doesn’t lead to their desired outcome, they could end up finding somewhere else to work. Now, this is not to say that they won’t speak to a friend or a family member, for instance, what it means is that they won’t wait around. Self-Development Then again, one might end up looking for a book to read; with this being seen as a way for them to change their circumstances. This doesn’t mean that they will read a novel, as this is unlikely to take place. What they are likely to do is to look for a book that goes into what they are struggling with; which means that it is going to be some kind of self-help book. And in today’s world, there is no shortage when it comes to these kinds of books. Food For Thought Once they have read a book, or just a few chapters, they may know what is it that they need to do. This could be a sign that the book has told them what to do, or it may have allowed them to change their outlook. What this shows is that one doesn’t always need to read a whole book in order to get what they need. There is also the chance that just the title of a book is enough to change their life. Stepping Back The reason for this is that it will cause them to think differently, or it could just serve as a reminder of what they need to do. It could then be said that it doesn’t always take a lot for change to take place. At times, one may need to do a lot, and at others, they might just need to make a few simple changes. This shows how important it is to be able to take a step back and to reflect. Another Route There is also the chance that one will feel the need to go and see a psychic or a tarot reader, and this may have been something that has taken place in the past. If they haven’t seen one before, they could have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, one could feel as though this would be a good thing for them to do, and on the other, they might wonder if it will actually help. One way of looking at this would be to say that their mind is in conflict with their heart. The Next Step However, it might not be long until they have found someone who they would like have a reading with. This could be a time when they will have one question that they would like answered, or they may have a number of them. The reader could then offer their feedback and say that what they tell them is not set in stone, so to speak. Therefore, there is going to be no need for them to get too caught up with what they hear. Two Experiences Even so, if one hears something positive they might be only too happy to believe that this is the truth; whereas if they were to hear something negative, they might not pay too much attention to it. Or, one could accept everything they hear no matter if it is negative or positive. The fact it has come out of this person’s mouth will be the only thing that matters, and this will show that one has put this person on a pedestal. A Power Imbalance When this happens, it will be as if one one’s mouth is wide open and everything that is offered will go straight into their mouth. It won’t matter what this person comes out with, as one will just go along with it. This reader will then be planting seeds in their mind, and without releasing it, one will end up doing what they can to make sure that what they hear comes true. What this emphasis is that one is not just an observer of their reality; they are playing an active role in what takes place. A Big Effect One would then have gone there looking for answers and they will come away feeling disempowered. With this is mind, it will be vital for one to make sure that they don’t get too attached to what they hear; that is, of course, unless they want something to happen. So as one is playing a part in what takes place in their life, it illustrates why they need to be careful when it comes to what they believe. At the end of the day, what someone like this comes out with is not the absolute truth. A Deeper Look What comes out of their mouth is being influenced by what its taking place within them, and this is going to include their own baggage. Thus, the more issues they have the harder it will probably be for them to offer true insight. When one finds it hard to trust, it can cause them to become dependent on these kinds of people. They might not trust their own judgement or that their life will go as they want it to go. Conclusion Another way of looking at this would be to say that one is looking for someone to give them permission in life. So if a reader tells them that something will happen, it will, and if they don’t, it won’t happen. There are clearly a number of things to consider when it comes to having a reading, as well as what needs to be kept in mind afterwards. One of the main things is that one doesn’t give their power away.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When the term ‘true-self’ is mentioned, it can sound a bit air fairy, and it could be said that this it to be expected. One thing that can come to mind for someone is that human beings don’t have a self that is fixed.
It Doesn’t Exist It is then not as of it is going to be possible for them to find the part of themselves that doesn’t change. If they were to look for this part of themselves, they are not going to get very far. What they would find is that their life would come to an end and they wouldn’t have anything to show for it. Perhaps this is why it has been said that the self is nothing more than an illusion. Moving On With this is mind, it would be appropriate to say that the true-self is nothing more than a fancy term for something that doesn’t exist. Thus, if someone does buy into this it shows that they are deluding themselves. But with that aside, what can’t be denied is that there are people who have a strong sense of self and those who don’t. Consequently, not everyone is going to be able to express what is taking place within them. Another Outlook Another way of looking at the true-self would be to say that it relates to someone’s true needs and feelings, amongst other things. And as they grow and change, it is going to be normal for their feelings and needs to change. Based on this, it is going to be completely rational to say that there is no such thing as a fixed self. And if someone did have a fixed self, this would stop them from being able to grow and change. Nature In this regard, human beings are no different to trees; not only will what is taking place within them change as time goes by, but so will their appearance. That is, of course, if someone allow this process to take place. If the external environment isn’t right, it can stop a tree from being able to grow in the right way, and the same thing can take place for a human being. Yet, when it comes to a human being, what is taking place internally can also get in the way. Blocked This is then going to stop the tree from being able to reach its full potential, and what this could show is that it is not getting enough light, for instance. On the other hand, when it relates to a human being, it is going to stop them from being able to express their true needs and feelings. As a result of this, the tree and the human being are going to be alive, but that’s going to be about as far as it goes. However, when the tree is free to grow and someone is able to express their true-self; it is going to be radically different. True Fulfilment When one can pay attention to their needs and feelings, it is going to be a lot easier for them to life a fulfilling life. There will be no reason for them to always do what other people want, which means that they won’t be a people pleaser. And through being able to reveal who they are to the people they are close to, it will allow them to experience intimacy. Nevertheless, if one didn’t fee safe enough to express what is taking place within them, they wouldn’t be able to experience life in this way. Two Parts What this shows is that it is not going to be enough for one to have a good connection with themselves; they will need to feel comfortable enough to do so. When this is not the case, it can cause one to develop false-self instead. During the moments when they are in their own company they may be aware of their true needs and feeling, but when they are around others, this is unlikely to be the case. And even if they are aware of what is taking place within them, it is not going to have much of an effect on how they behave. The Main Part Through being this way, one is going to have the need to please other people, and this is going to have a negative effect on their wellbeing. Their needs and feelings are going to end up being overlooked, which is going to make it hard for them to experience true fulfilment. If they were to be themselves, they could end up being overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. This could be how their life has been for as long as they can remember, and this could show that their early years had a big effect on them. A Deeper Look The beginning of their life may have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected by their caregivers. The care that they needed in order to develop in the right way wouldn’t have been provided. This would have caused them to experience trauma, and they would have come to believe that it wasn’t safe for them to exist. What took place will be in their past but their body won’t have forgotten about it. Awareness Unless the trauma that is within them is dealt with, one will continue to live a life that is not very fulfilling. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If one pays attention to the mainstream media and/or uses social media, they may have heard about a number of celebrities who have shared their views on the migrant crisis. In fact, they may have heard a number of them talk about this on more than one occasion.
Connected What this shows is how easy it is for one to stay up to date with what these kinds of people have to say. One can, of course, rely on the midstream media to tell them, but this is no longer necessary. The only thing they need to do is to ‘follow’ a celebrity on social media; they won’t miss out on anything then. Nevertheless, one might not feel the need to go this far, and they might just prefer to check out their page from time to time. A Common Angle When it comes to what these so-called celebrities have to say about this topic, one is likely to find that most of them have the same outlook. In general, they will talk about how bad it is and that more should be done to help these people. And as they have their own social media account/s, they will be able to share their thoughts on a regular basis. Essentially, a celebrity is going to have a platform where they can speak directly to others. The Other Side Along with what they have to say about the migrants themselves, there will be what they have to say about the people who have a different outlook. This can relate to the people who are not too happy about the effect these emigrants are having on their life. There will be other celebrities who criticise their own country for not doing enough for these people. But regardless of what they say, there are going to be plenty of people who will agree with what comes out of their mouth. The Reason One way of looking at this would be to say that the reason these celebrities say these kinds of things is because they are evolved human beings. Not only are they talented, they also have an open heart. Through being this way, they are able to put their needs to one side and to think about the needs of others. Based on this, it could be said that it is a good thing that they have the ability to share their views with so many people. Enlightened And as they are so wise and knowledgeable, it would be a good idea for other people to listen to what they have to say. To overlook what they have to say would be a big mistake; a mistake that would lead to even more problems. Through being so evolved, they are able to put themselves in the shoes of the people who are going through such a challenging time and to show concern. So, if there is a problem in the world, these are the kinds of people who should be consulted. Black and White As these celebrities are so enlightened, there is only going to be one way to describe the people who don’t agree with what they say. These people are closed hearted and they are not going to be very bright either. It is then going to be a good idea for them to open their heart and to see the bigger picture. What this will do is enable them to empathise with these people and to show them compassion. Another Angle However, while it can seem as though it is this black and white, there is a lot more to it. What needs to be taken into account is that it is a lot easier for one to show compassion towards someone or something that doesn’t directly affect them. For example, one can readily show concern for someone who has some kind of addiction if they only see them a few times a month. But if they were to live with that person, their whole demeanour is likely to change. Two Parts What this comes down to is that in order for one to have an open heart, they will need to feel safe. So, if one feels threatened in any way or as though their very survival is at threat, this part of them can end up being out of action. With this is mind, it is easy to see why certain celebrities are able to display empathy and compassion with it comes down to the migrant crisis. When it comes to how these people experience life, it will be as if they live on another planet. A Different Reality The kind of concerns that these people have are likely to be radically different to the kind of concerns that the average person has. For one thing, it is highly unlikely that they will worry about money. They won’t need to wait to get an appointment to see their doctor either, and if they life in an area that is no longer safe, they can just move somewhere else. Ultimately, these celebrities are completely out of touch with the real world. Conclusion And the fact that they are only too happy to criticise the people who have a different outlook proves this. Perhaps the main reason why they show empathy and compassion is due to the fact that they want to look good. Showing how virtuous they are only not only has a positive effect on their image, it also has a positive effect on their wellbeing. If these celebrities were to live a week in the life of someone who has an issue with what is taking place, they might soon change their outlook. It might then occur to them that they are not as evolved as they thought they were. This is then similar to how easy it is for someone who lives on a mountain or on the edge of society to come across as ‘enlightened’; they are away from it all.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If one lives in America and they are against Donald Trump, or if they live in the United Kingdom and they were against Brexit, it could be said that there would be no reason for them to keep their views to themselves. They could share their views with their friends and online, and there is a strong chance that they would receive a lot of positive feedback.
Courageous Through doing this, and standing up for what they believe in, they could believe that they are being brave. After all, it they keep their views to themselves and to carry on with their life. But while they could come to this conclusion, it doesn’t mean that what they are doing actually takes a lot of courage. What this comes down to is that so many people have the same views as they do. The Safest Option Ultimately, one is on board with what these people believe, and so this is going to be the easiest option. This is then going to be similar to someone who sees themselves as a rebel, even though they are following the crowd. Yet, it would be an understatement to say that one only has the support of other people. In addition to their friends and family, and the people who will support their views on social media, they will have the mainstream media, universities, and Hollywood, for instance. The Same Narrative One is then going to have a hell of a lot of support behind them, which is why they have nothing to fear when they speak out. What they come out with is going to be no different to what these sources come out with. One is then going to believe that they have their own mind, but this could be nothing more than an illusion. There is the chance that they are being controlled, and this is the perfect way to control someone. A Real Risk If, however, one lives in America and they support Donald Trump, or if they live in the United Kingdom and they voted for Brexit, they might prefer to keep their views to themselves. That is unless they are around people who have the same views as they do, or if they are around people who are open minded. What one could find, if they were to share their views, is that a number of their friends will no longer talk to them. This could be a time when they will just go silent, or they could label then in some way. Too Much Trouble It is than not going to matter if they have done their research and they know what they are talking about, as it can be in their best interest to keep quiet. On one side, this will cause them to keep a lot of their views to themselves, and on the other, it will save them a lot of drama. Part of them will have the desire to speak out, but another part of them is going to be only too aware of the consequences that may arise if they do. It is then not that one lacks courage; it is that they don’t want to destroy their life. The Downside The trouble is that when people are seen as being ‘good’ for having certain views and ‘bad’ for having other views, it puts an end to free speech. So instead of everyone being able to share their views and to grow though having their views challenged, some people will keep their views to themselves. When it comes to the people who do share their views, what they say can relate to what is seen as being ‘acceptable’ or politically correct. So, as long as what one comes out with fits into one of these categories, they will be able to express themselves. The Big Problem When one says something that doesn’t fit into one of those categories, they could lose a number of friends and even end up being fired from their job. And if they say the wrong thing online, they could even have visit from the police. But if this doesn’t happen, then it could mean that one will end up offending someone, and this is no laughing matter. In the past, this is not something that would have been taken very seriously. High Alert Nowadays, this is something that carries a lot of weight; if someone is offended by what one says, it could lead to a number of consequences. Consequently, one can feel the need to police their own thoughts, and to control what comes out of their mouth. There is then going to be no reason for anyone to control them, as they will control themselves. Due to the amount of pressure that they will experience, it can to be a challenge for them to relax. Walking On Egg Shells Their priority is not going to be to think for themselves and to share their views; it will be to make sure that they don’t offend anyone. What their ancestors fought for is then being cast to one side so that certain people - those who can’t regulate their own emotions - don’t have to experience uncomfortable emotions. If a mantel health professional was to share their views on this, they may say that we live in a borderline society. This is because when one is in a relationship with someone who has borderline personality disorder, they will feel like they are walking on egg shells. Insanity The difference is that in this case it doesn’t just relate to one person, it relates to society as a whole. But instead of doing something about this, as would be the case if an individual had BPD; the people with the problem are given special treatment. It is then the same as someone with BPD going to see a therapist and being told that the people who they spend time with are the ones with the problem. There is then going to be no reason for them to change. Conclusion What this shows is how important people’s feelings have become; they are now what define whether something is right or wrong, or good or bad. If someone hears something and they end up feeling offended, there will be no reason for them to take responsibility for how they feel. They have been infantilized, and it is then going to be normal for them to blame other people for how they feel; one is then an adult, but they are more akin to a child. The powers that be are likely to be only too happy with this; the last thing they want is for their fellow human beings to be mentally and emotionally strong.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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