If someone is not in a good place emotionally, they could end up talking to a friend about how they feel. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that they will want this person to do anything; simply sharing what is going on for them could be enough.
Opening up about what is going on for them can lighten their load, so to speak, and may allow them to settle down for a short while. Being able to do this can also allow them to gain valuable insights. Interdependent The fact that they have reached out in this way is likely to show that they are in tune with their feelings and that they feel comfortable with them. Opening up about how they feel to the people they trust is then going to be normal. If they were an independent human being, they wouldn’t need to reach out to other people as they would be able to take care of all of their needs by themselves. Yet, as this is not the case, it is good that they do reach out to others. Another Example If they are in an intimate relationship, opening up about how they feel is also likely to be normal. This will allow them to feel closer to their partner and for their partner to feel closer to them. Behaving in this way will mean that they are being vulnerable - the same goes for their partner - but this is what will enable them to experience a deeper connection. The alternative would be for them to hide this part of themselves and to have a very surface level relationship. Being, not doing In a lot of cases, one will share how they feel and they won’t need their partner to do anything for them. The same thing will apply in a lot of case when their partner opens up to them about how they feel. One of them will just hold the space for the other to share what is going on for them. Whoever does this will do what they can to stay present and to listen with their heart. An Important Ability If one of them was to open up and the other was to try to fix them, for instance, this could cause the former to feel invalidated and as though they are not being heard. If one asked for advice, this would be different. Simply listening will take far less effort than trying to change or to fix what they are going through, and it will most likely lead to a better outcome. One will feel as though their boundaries have been respected and this can strengthen the connection that they have together. A Different Scenario Conversely, someone could be going through a tough time but they might keep what they are going through to themselves. The thought of sharing how they feel with another person might not even cross their mind. As a result of this, they could do whatever they can to keep their feelings at bay and to carry on with their life. Carrying all this emotional weight by themselves is likely to put a lot of pressure on their being, which is likely to have a negative impact on their wellbeing, Isolated They might not have many friends and they could be single, too; then again, it might not be this black and white. One could have plenty of people in their life, and they could even be in a relationship. Nonetheless, even if there are a fair amount of people in their life and they are in a relationship, it won’t matter. One is rarely, if ever, going to reveal how they feel to these people. A Mask So although one will be an independent human being, someone who needs others, they will act as though they are completely independent. And if they do see other people open up, they could view them as weak and/or needy. Being this way is going to make it hard for them to develop deeper connections with others, in addition to the fact that they will suffer by keeping everything in. But while this will cause them to suffer, it is likely to be what feels comfortable. A Big Risk Hiding their feelings will mean that they will hide their true-self, yet the only way this will change is if they feel comfortable enough to reveal how they feel. As their feelings are just part of being human, it can seem strange as to why they would have the need to hide them from others. Nevertheless, there may have been a time in their life when their feelings were seen as a problem, setting them up to feel ashamed of this part of their being. This side of them would have been rejected by others and one would then have come to reject this part of themselves. Back In Time Perhaps one was brought up by caregivers who didn’t respond positively to their emotional needs. Showing this part of their being may have caused them to be rejected and/or abandoned. This would have caused them to believe that there was something inherently wrong with their emotional self. Keeping this part of them hidden would have been painful, but it would have been even more painful if they revealed it. Awareness One has rejected this part of themselves because other people rejected this part of them at a stage of their life when they were unable to see that there wasn’t anything wrong with this part of them. How their caregivers responded to this part of them was probably no different to how their caregivers responded to their feelings when they were growing. If one can relate to this, and wants to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Although some people feel safe in their body and as though they deserve to exist, there are others that don’t experience life in this way. However, regardless of whether someone fits into the first category or the second, it doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of it.
Yet, even if someone is not consciously aware of this, it is still going to have a big influence on their life. How they experience life can just be seen as normal, and if this is a good thing or a bad thing will all depend on what their life is like. The First Experience If someone does feel safe in their body and as though they deserve to exist, they are likely to have a good connection with their needs. Not only this, they will feel comfortable enough to reveal their needs. Consequently, they will be able to do what they need to do to fulfil their needs, which will allow them to grow. They will believe that they deserve to have their needs met and they will have the strength that they need to make this a reality. A Healthy Balance Both of these components will be important, as if they didn’t have the second part in place, they would have an entitlement mentality. And without the first component in place, it would be challenge for them to enjoy what they work for. Being able to work for something and then to truly be able to embrace it, once it has been attained, is the key. Fortunately, this person will have these two components in place, allowing them to bask in whatever they achieve. Another Area When it comes to the people in their life, there is going to be no need for one to hide who they are around these people. Instead of just part of them showing around them; their whole being will be able to show up. In other words, they will be able to express their true-self around these people. These are then likely to be relationships that are fulfilling and there will be no reason for them to feel restricted when they are in their company. Career Through believing that they deserve to have their needs a met and having the ability to take action, they might not have any trouble asserting themselves when they are at work. So whenever they get to the point when they know it is time for them to go to the next level, they will be happy to take the right steps. Deep down, they will know that they have as much right as anyone else to be on this planet and that it is down to them to make the most of it. What this outlook will do is stop them from expecting everything just to land on their lap. The Second Experience If someone doesn’t feel safe in their body and as though they deserve to exist, they are unlikely to have a good connection with their needs. And even if they do become aware of a need, it doesn’t mean that they will try to fulfil it. In general, they could spend most of their life focusing on other people’s needs. One will then look like separate being, yet they will typically act as though they are an extension of other people. Settling For Scraps Deep down, they could see themselves as a burden and this is then why they need to settle for whatever they can get in life. Asking directly for what they want and asserting themselves is not going to be an option. Other people are going to be able to have their needs met, but they will have to overlook most of their needs. Hiding their needs can be something that just happens, meaning that this is not something that they consciously choose to do. A Half-Life Ultimately, one will have as much right as anyone else to be here, yet it will be as though this isn’t the case. They could even work really hard, and have an over developed masculine element, only to receive very little in return. Still, what they could find is that when something good does happen, it is not possible for them to truly embrace it. They could play down what has happened and end up working towards the next thing. A Bleak Existence If they are in a relationship, they could be used to being walked over and doing things that they don’t really want to do. The fact that they don’t need to experience life in this way might not even cross their mind. They could just feel grateful that they are not alone and that someone actually wants to be with them. Like a parasite, they might believe that they need to stay with this person to be able to survive. What’s going on? On one side, there is how other people treat them and, on the other, there is how they treat themselves. Undoubtedly, the main issue here is that one doesn’t treat themselves with love and respect. The view that they have of themselves is playing a big part in why they are living a life that is anything but fulfilling. What this could illustrate is that their early years were a time when they were abused and/or neglected. Back In Time At this stage of their life, their developmental needs may have rarely, if ever, been met. This would have set them up to believe that there was something inherently wrong with both their needs and themselves. Disconnecting from their needs, along with their body, would have been a way for them to handle the pain of being neglected. If they were physically abused, this would have provided even more weight to the view that they didn’t deserve to be here/to be born. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer. Due to what took place, they are likely to carry a fair amount of trauma in their body. Resolving this trauma, in addition to working through their emotional pain and clearing up their ‘cognitive distortions’, is going to be vital.
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If one is in a relationship, it could show that they are with someone who they share every part of their being with. What this means is that they will talk about what is taking place in their mind, reveal what is taking place in their heart and share their body.
As a result of this, every part of them is typically going to show up when they are with this person. When they are around this person, then, it will be normal for them to feel seen, heard, and connected. Two Parts There is likely to be at least two reasons as to why one is able to fully show up around this person. Firstly, they will feel safe enough around this person to be themselves and, secondly, they will feel comfortable in their own skin. Therefore, while the first part is important, it is not as important as the second part. If the second part wasn’t in place, one wouldn’t have feel safe enough to fully show up around this person, which would have prevented them from developing a relationship with them. The Main Part With this in mind, the connection that one has with their own being will be what allows them to deeply connect with another being. One is going to feel comfortable with their own feelings and who they are, thereby allowing them to feel comfortable enough to share their feelings and themselves with their partner. One way of looking at this would be to say that one will be intimate with themselves and this is why they can be intimate with another. Their partner is unlikely to be any different in this regard. No Alternative Now, this is going to mean that one will be vulnerable, as will their partner, but this is just part of what it takes to have a fulfilling relationship. The other option would be for them to hide parts of themselves, yet this is not going to allow them to experience a deep connection with another person. One on hand, this will take trust and, on the other, it will take inner strength. Trust will allow them to take the first step and inner strength will give them the belief that they will be able to handle what happens if this isn’t the case. The Norm If one was to look back on their life, they may see that this is generally how their relationships have been. Fortunately, they won’t have had to hide who they are around the people in their life. One could find it hard to comprehend why another person would hide themselves around others. If they were to imagine living in this way, it could be as if they are living in an invisible prison. A Different Reality However, although this is how some people experience life, there are likely to be numerous others that don’t. When this is the case, one will be in a relationship with someone but their whole being won’t show up. So, they could share their mind and their body with them, yet that will be as far as it will go. The emotional part of their being - the part that relates to what is really going on for them -will then be hidden. A Heavy Burden One is then going to be in a position where they have someone in their life, but they won’t be truly connected to them. Instead of being able to share how they feel and to be supported, they will keep it to themselves. On the inside, it may seem as though they are happy and everything is fine, but behind this mask, they could feel depressed and even suicidal. Now, this could be because their partner has made it clear that they are not interested. Together Alone Then again, one could wear this mask because they don’t feel comfortable with their own feelings or who they are. Right from the moment they met their partner, one may have worn this mask. The image that they present to the world is going to have very little in common with what is taking place inside them. Not revealing who they are to their partner is likely to mean that their relationship lacks depth and that they feel incredibly lonely. Trapped The only way that one will be able to truly connect to their partner – that’s if this person is capable of experiencing a deeper connection at this stage of their life – is if they are able to let go of the role that they are playing. When this happens, they will be a human doing, not a human doing. Nonetheless, while wearing a mask will prevent them from being able to truly connect to another person, it is likely to be what feels safe. Dropping this mask is not going to be seen as something that will benefit their life; it can be seen as something that would cause them to be rejected and abandoned. A Deeper Look If they have worn a mask for as long as they can remember, it may show that their early years were not very nurturing. This may have been a time in their life when they experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. What this would have done is caused them to believe that there was something inherently wrong with their being, with this being the reason why they had to hide themselves. The years will have passed, but the view that was created at this stage of their life will continue to define their life. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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In recent years, the mainstream media has spoken a lot about mental health. What this has done is created greater awareness around this important topic; something that might not have occurred otherwise.
There are at least two ways that this source has played a part. Firstly, it has spoken about this area directly and, secondly, it has provided certain public figures with a platform to share their own challenges. Out of the Dark There is then likely to have been plenty of people who have benefit from what this source has covered in recent years. For one thing, it may have allowed them to realise that they are not the only ones who are going through a tough time. Their experience would have been normalised, allowing them to reach out for the support that they needed. Yet, even if there are people who haven’t taken this step, at least they will know that they are not the only ones in this position. A New View When it comes to the public figures that have opened up about their own struggles, some of these people may have changed how some people perceive mental health problems. One reason for this is that some these people will have been perceived as being strong and having it altogether. Said another way, as these people have struggled it will have meant that having mental problems doesn’t mean that someone is weak or incapable, for instance. If anything, it simply shows that they are human. An Important Step Naturally, if something is seen as a weakness, it is going to be normal for someone to do what they can to cover it up. Opening up abut what they are going through will be seen as something that could cause them to be ostracised. Taking this into account, the sports stars and actors/actresses that have come forward and opened up have played a key role in changing how mental health problems are viewed. These people are just expressing the truth: having mental problems doesn’t mean that someone is weak, worthless or incapable. A Process Sadly, there are people out there that won’t have been impacted by any of this, which will mean that they will continue to suffer in silence. For others, hearing about this in the media will have opened them up to reaching out, but they might not know what do to next. And even for those that have reached out, they may have felt that the support that they did receive was inadequate. In each of these cases, it will be essential for them to think about the fact that they don’t deserve to experience life in this way and that they need to keep going until they receive the assistance that they need. The Other Side However, although the mainstream media has played a key role in redefining how some people view mental health problems, and are continuing to do so, it doesn’t mean that they haven’t also played a part in the challenges that some people have had, and still have. To get an idea of what is being spoken about here; one only needs to think about what this source of information typically focuses on. For so long, this source has focused on stories that are fear-based and, in recent years, this source has given a lot of attention to stories that are designed to cause outrage. It is then as if this source is serving medicine with one hand and poison with the other. The First Part When it comes to the fear-based content, this could relate to the need to attack another country due to some made up reason, for instance. Not doing so will be presented as something that would put their very survival at risk. Hearing stories like this, along with a host of others, can set someone up to experience a fair among of fear and anxiety. Thanks to this fake news - the very thing that this source accuses the alternative media of - so many people will be kept in a continual state of existential angst. The Second Part When it comes to the content designed to cause outrage, it could relate to what someone has said or their interpretation of what has been said. The intention will most likely be to get as many people as possible to react in a certain way. This source will be saying jump and there will be plenty of people who are willing to jump. As a result of this, these people can end up being consumed by anger or rage, with their stress levels going through the roof in the process. A Fine Line Clearly, no longer paying attention to what is going in the world is not the answer; this would just cause someone to be uniformed. Nonetheless, there is a massive difference between paying attention to sources that exist to inform and sources that exist to brainwash. Living in a place of fear or outrage is not going to benefit ones mental and emotional health. Thus, if someone is sucked into what the mainstream media is trying to sell them, it is not going to be a surprise if their inner world is not in a good way. Conclusion This is not to say that they will experience inner peace if they no longer pay attention to this source, as there may be other steps that they need to take. There are many things that have an effect on their inner world, including: what they eat, who they spend time with, their sleeping habits, what they do for a living, how long they spend in nature, and the amount of exercise they do, amongst other things. Along with this, there is the effect that their early years may have had on their brain and body. Having good mental and emotional health is then not about doing one thing in particular; it is about living in the right way.
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If one sees themselves as someone who is capable, it is naturally going to have a positive effect on their life. Through having this view, it will allow them to take the steps that they need to take to fulfil their goals.
Thanks to how they feel about themselves, they will believe that they have what it takes to fulfil their needs. Being this way is also going to help them to keep going when the ‘going gets tough’. A Strong Core The mind will be there to give them the support that they need and so will their emotional body. This doesn’t mean that there won’t ever be moments in their life when they get knocked down; what it means is that they are unlikely to stay down. Before long they could be back on their feet, with this being a time when they will look into what they can do to surmount the challenge that is in front of them. Ultimately, no matter what is put in front of them, they will typically believe that they have what it takes to overcome it. External Support If they hit a road block and are not sure how to overcome something, they could end up reaching out for support. Reaching out for support is then not going to be seen as a weakness in their eyes - it will be seen as the sensible thing to do. Not being able to do something is not going to be seen as a reflection of who they are, which is why they won’t need to hide it. In other words, not being able to do something won’t mean that they themselves are incapable. Two Essential Parts Feeling capable and being able to reach out to others is going to make it a lot easier for them to move forward in life. Also, having the ability to overcome challenges and achieve their goals is going to allow them to feel empowered and to feel good about themselves. Their mental and emotional health is then going to benefit as a result of the view that they have of themselves. Furthermore, they may find that this also stops them from experiencing too much fear. Trust One may even say that knowing that they will be able to handle just about whatever happens to them is what allows them to relax and to feel at pace. The view that they have of themselves, then, is going to stop them from living on edge and trying to hide from life. They will be able to embrace the life that they have been given and to truly live. From the outside it may seem as though one is just ‘lucky’, but what is taking place within them will be what enables them to experience life in this way. A Different Reality If, on the other hand, one doesn’t see themselves as someone who is capable, their life is likely to be radically different. Due to how they see themselves, they might not even go after their goals. Or if they do work towards something, they might give up as soon as it gets hard. It will be as if they have bit a brick wall and there is going to be absolutely nothing that they can do to go through it. Totally Helpless This is going to stop them from being able to move forward in life, setting them up to play small. Challenges are then not going to be seen as things for them to overcome; they will be seen as things for them to avoid. Their mind is unlikely be supportive and their emotional body is unlikely to provide them with the support that they need. As for reaching out for support, this might not even cross their mind. Exposed This could be seen as something that would let other people know how incapable they are. Therefore, in order for them to save face, they will need to do what they can to make sure that other people don’t realise this. Then again, they could be in a position where they look towards other people to always be there and to do just about everything for them. Unconsciously, one can see other people as parental figures that are there to take care of them. Another Consequence As a result of how they see themselves, it could be normal for them the experience a fair amount of fear. The reason for this is that they won’t feel as though they have what it takes to handle life. Their mental and emotional health is likely to suffer, and it will be difficult for them to truly embrace the life that they have been given. This could mean that they are rarely able to relax and to feel at peace. Stepping Back How they see themselves is not a true reflection of who they are, yet it will most likely be seen as the truth. This is likely to show that they have experienced life in this way for so long that they are simply unable to see this. Perhaps, their childhood years were a time when they didn’t receive the type of care that they needed to able to develop in the right way. For example, this may have been a time when they were neglected. A Big Impact To be left at this stage of their life would have been too much for them to handle, causing their whole being to be overwhelmed. This could have been something that took place on a regular basis. If the care that they needed was provided, there would have been no need for them to have spent so much time feeling overwhelmed and this would have allowed them to slowly develop inner strength. The years will then have passed, but how they felt all those years ago will have stayed within them. Awareness If this was also a time when they were physically abused, it would have been ever worse. Now that they are an adult, there will be what they believe and there will be all of the emotional pain that is within them. Taking this into account, just changing what they believe is unlikely to allow them to feel capable. Doing this will be similar to changing a label on a box; it won’t change what is in the box. If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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If someone was asked to share their views on something, they might not have a problem speaking out. Also, if another person was to do something that they disagreed with, they could also be happy to speak up.
What this can illustrate is that this is someone who doesn’t have any trouble asserting themselves. They could often be described as someone who is confident and comfortable in their own skin. Two Parts One is then going to be aware of what is taking place within them and they will feel comfortable enough to vocalise it. Being this way is likely to have a positive effect on just about every area of their life. Ultimately, it will allow them to behave like an individual, which wouldn’t be necessary if they were merely an extension of others. In this case, what was taking place inside them would be no different to what was taking place inside everyone else. Not a Clone Like a programmed machine, what is true for them would be true for everyone else on the planet. But as they have their own inner self, it will mean that there will be times when they come out with things that go against what other people believe. Thus, even if someone agrees what they say in one moment, it doesn’t mean that they will in the next. So, just as there can be people who admire the fact that one stands their ground, there can also be people that don’t. A Number of Areas The connection that they have with their inner world, along with the comfort that they have in expressing what is taking place there, will enable them to show up in their relationships. They will be able to open about how they feel and they will be able to disagree with someone if they need to. Still, this is not to say that they will be argumentative as they may be able to do this without coming across as aggressive or rude. The people in their life might not have a problem with this as they could be the same. Career When they are at work, being this way could allow them to make a greater contribution to a project, for instance. Thanks to the confidence they have in speaking up, they won’t need to worry about how other people will respond to their ideas. Furthermore, it could allow them to move up the ladder faster than they would otherwise. The reason for this is that they will be able to speak up if they don’t feel that they are getting paid what they deserve, and this will help them during any interviews that they have. The Bigger Picture This can show that one doesn’t spend too much time thinking about what may or may not happen if they speak up, preferring to focus on their own objectives. What this will do is stop them from wasting their valuable energy and postponing what they need to do. Tension may arise after they have said something, but keeping what they said to themselves might not have solved anything. It can often be a case of short-term pain, long-term gain or short-term gain, long-term pain. Another Scenario Although there will be people who are able to express themselves in this way, there are going to be others that are unable to do so. If someone experiences life in this way, it is going to be a challenge for them to assert themselves. This doesn’t mean that they will never speak up; what it means is that this will be something that rarely takes place. Keeping their thoughts and feelings to themselves is likely to be what feels comfortable. A Door Mat Therefore, regardless of whether they are around friends or at work, they will generally keep things in. If they don’t like or agree with something, for example, they will do what they can to hide this from others. Experiencing life in this way is not going to be very fulfilling, yet it is going to be what feels comfortable. If they were to connect to what is actually going on for them and to speak out, they could end up feeling overwhelmed. A Closer Look If it is normal for them to keep their true feelings to themselves and to have moments when they don’t even know what is going on for them, it could be because they don’t feel safe enough to speak up. Deep down, they could believe that doing so would cause their life to come to an end. One way of looking at this would be to say that this belief is completely irrational and that they need to let it go. Another way of looking at it would be to say that while it may seem irrational, there was probably a time in their life when it was perfectly rational. Early Years During the beginning of their life, they may have been brought up in an environment that was dangerous. One or both of their caregivers may have been physically abusive and, if they dared to speak out, they could have been severely harmed or neglected. Over time, they may have lost touch with what was taking place within them and just done their best to please their caregiver/s. Even so, losing touch with themselves most likely wouldn’t have stopped them for being harmed or neglected. Awareness The trauma that they experienced at this stage of their life will have stayed trapped in their body and, until they start to resolve it, it will be a challenge for them to speak up. This trauma could cause their throat, as well as their body, to tighten up. If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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As to whether or not it is a good idea for someone to go along with another person’s emotional state can all depend on what state they are in. If this person is happy, embracing the same state is likely to have a positive effect on ones wellbeing.
On the other hand, if this person is angry or even miserable, embracing this state is unlikely to do them any good. There are then going to be times when it will be a good idea for one to allow their emotional state to mimic another person’s emotional state and times when it won’t. Emotional Contagion However, even though this is the case, one may find that there are times when they are unable to control how they feel. Ergo, irrespective of what is going on for another person, they will end up being drawn in. This is not going to be a problem if another person is in a good place, but it will be if they are not. When it comes to the latter, it might be necessary for one to get away from the other person. A Time and A Place This doesn’t mean that one should get away from someone if they are going through a tough time. The reason for this is that there will be times when another person won’t be in a good way and it will be a good idea for them to offer their support. Someone in this person’s life may have passed on, putting them in a very low place. Ones mood can then drop during this time, but shortly after their time together has come to an end, it should return to how it was. Boundaries Undoubtedly, having the ability to connect to another person’s mood is going to have a positive effect on their relationships. At the same time, being able to maintain their state will also allow them to act like an individual. If they didn’t have this ability, they would end up acting as though they were simply an extension of other people. Instead of being able to assert themselves, they would be at the whim of other people’s moods. The Truth Just because someone else is not in a good place or is very angry, for instance, it doesn’t mean that one should join them. Ultimately, there is no need for them to feel responsible for what another person is going through; that is, of course, unless they have played a part in what is going on for them. And if the other person takes responsibility for what they are going through, they won’t expect one to act like they have played a part. This can show that the other person also has well defined boundaries. A Different Reality Not everyone is going to be able to relate to this, which means that there will be people that find it hard to maintain their emotional state around others. Thus, instead of being able to act like an individual, they can act as though they are just an extension of others. If they are able to maintain their emotional state, it may only be due to the fact that another person’s emotional state is the same. The other person will provide them with the permission that they need in order to experience the same feelings. Walking On Egg Shells It is likely to be a challenge for them to assert themselves around others; their primary concern will be to tune into what someone else is experiencing. Deep down, they could believe that it is not safe for them to express who they are. So like a waiter who does their best to make sure that everyone is happy; it will ones job to make sure that other people are happy. For some reason, they will believe that they are responsible for how other people feel. Dysfunctional Relationships Some of the people in their life may lack boundaries, causing them to blame one for how they feel. But as one also lacks boundaries, they are going to just put up with this kind of behaviour. If they are in an intimate relationship, they may find it hard to relax around their partner. Being focused on what is taking place externally will be a way for them to try to predict when their partner is going to lose their temper, making it easier for them to handle what happens. A Closer Look Doing what they can to please others is going to be what feels comfortable, yet it is going to cause them to hide their true-self. If one was to take a step back and to reflect on how long their life has been this way for, they may come to the realisation that what is taking place in their adult life is a continuation of what took place during their early years. At this stage of their life, they may have had at least one caregiver who was emotionally unpredictable. As a result of this, they wouldn’t have been able to relax into their body and to listen to their own needs; they would have had to live on edge and to focus on what was taking place externally. Undeveloped This caregiver may have blamed other people for how they felt, too, and this would have set one up to believe that they were responsible for whether or not they were happy. The care that one needed wouldn’t have been provided, with them acting more like a caregiver than a child. Consequently, one will have poor boundaries and have a weak connection with their inner world. Developing boundaries and getting in touch with their true-self will be an essential part of their healing process. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to transform their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
After someone has experienced loss, they could end up experiencing emotional pain. When it comes to how severe this pain is, it can all depend on who has passed on.
So, if a family member has passed on, the amount of pain that they are in could be unbearable. Through being in so much pain, one could reach out for the support of family and friends. Additional Help This might not be enough, though, and one might end up reaching out for professional assistance. Perhaps their friends and their family are unable to be there for them on a regular basis. It could be said that this is just part of life as these people are going to have their own responsibilities to deal with. There is also the chance that these people are also in a lot of pain and haven’t always got the energy to be there for them. The Sensible Approach The main thing here is that one will be embracing how they feel, and this will allow them to gradually embrace life once again. This doesn’t mean that they will ever ‘get over’ what took place; what it means is that they won’t stay stuck in this emotional place forever. Additionally, one may also allow themselves to cry when they need to or during certain times. What this will illustrate is that one has a healthy relationship with the emotional part of their being. Just One Example If this is the case, it is going to be normal for them to embrace how they feel. Therefore, regardless of whether someone passes on, a relationship comes to an end, or something else takes place that has an impact on them, they will go with how they feel. It is not going to be an issue for them to cry or to get angry, for instance, which may generally stop too much emotional pain from building-up inside their body. This is going to allow them to operate as whole human being. Two Sides Of course, there will be times when facing how they feel will be hard, even overwhelming, but it will be worth it. The reason for this is that having a good connection with their feelings will benefit their life in a myriad of ways. For one thing, it will give them the ability to form deeper connections with others, and this wouldn’t be possible if they were emotionally disconnected. Also, their feelings will give them the guidance that they need to live a fulfilling. A Different Experience For someone else, it could be normal for them to deny how they feel after they have experienced loss. It is then not going to matter what kind of loss takes place as they will respond in the same way. Through taking this approach, they may believe that the emotional pain they were in has simply disappeared. Yet, although it may seem as though is the case, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Disconnected In reality, their mind will have lost touch with their body and this part of them will still be carrying their feelings. However, as their point of awareness is generally in their head, this is unlikely to occur to them. To maintain the illusion that they have created, it will be vital for them to do what they can to stay out of their body. If this doesn’t take place and they were to get back in there, they would end up being overwhelmed by emotional pain. Twp Parts Living on the surface of themselves may allow them to be successful when it comes to their career, for instance, but it unlikely that they will be able to experience intimacy or to live a life that is deeply fulfilling. It could also be a real challenge for them to relax and to just be; if they were to settle down, all the pain that is inside them could start to rise up. Being on the go just about all of the time, acting like a ‘human doing’ as opposed to a ‘human being’, will be a way for them to avoid themselves. Nonetheless, this kind of behaviour is often seen as a sign that someone is ‘driven’ or has ‘high self-esteem’, so very few people are likely to realise that something isn’t right. What’s going on? If someone has the tendency to avoid how they feel as an adult and to live in their head, this could be something that has taken place for as long as they can remember. Perhaps, their early years were a time when they didn’t receive the attunement that they needed to develop in the right way. As a result of this, leaving their body and getting into their head would have been the only way for them to stop themselves from being overwhelmed. The years will then have passed, but staying out of their body will still be a way for them to stop themselves from being taken out by how they feel. A Build-Up Their body can then carry the emotional pain that they avoided as a child and it can carry all of the pain that they have avoided as an adult. The longer they avoid themselves in this way, the more pain there will be. With this is mind, the sooner that they face this pain the better it will be. Facing this pain is what will allow them to not just look whole on the outside, but to feel whole on the inside. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they will most likely need to reach out for external support. This can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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