Numerous books have been written about the importance of being present and how to be present. These kinds of books can go into how the body is always in the moment but the mind, on the other hand, is always trying to be somewhere else.
When someone is in the present moment, there is nothing for their mind to do, and this is why it will try to bring their attention to the past or to focus on the future. What took place in their past will have been and gone and the future is yet to be decided. Point of Power Clearly, focusing on what happened in the past won’t change the past and obsessing endlessly about what the future will bring won’t solve anything either. Their ability to make changes and to live the life they want to live will depend on what they do in each moment of their life. The present moment is where their point of power lies, and they will be able to tap into this power by being in their body, not their mind. Their body is connected to life, whereas their mind simply has ideas about life. Showing Up Another part of being in their body and not caught up in their mind, is that they will be able to fully show up around others. Other people will be able to see, or feel, that they are actually there. This is going to allow them to have deeper relationships with others, to really connect to their fellow human beings. What this comes down to is that it is not enough just to be next to someone, one needs too be fully in their body. A Real Human Being If it was enough for one to be next to another person and they didn’t need to be fully in their body (in the moment), it would be possible for them to create a statue of themselves and for this statue to spend time with their friends and family, for instance. But, as these people will want to be in their presence, this is not going to be an option. To understand how important this is, one only needs to think about what it is like when they are with someone who is not present. The other person could be on their phone, for instance, and this is likely to be anything but fulfilling. Overlooked If one was to think about what it is like to be in the company of someone who is not present, they may start to think about how this must be what it is like to eat food that has no nutritional value. In the same way that eating it will be waste of time, it will also be waste of time to be around someone who is not in their body. Being next to someone like this is more likely to take their energy away than it is to give them energy. They can end up feeling as though this person doesn’t value or appreciate them. A Challenge Therefore, if someone was to see that they have trouble being in the moment in their day-to-day life and when they are around others, it will be a good idea for them to do something about this. What they could do is to develop the ability to observe their mind, as this will stop them from getting too attached to what is going on within them and to embrace the present moment. This is something that can take place by practicing mindfulness, for instance. At the same time, one may find that while this helps them to embrace the present moment when they are in their own company, it doesn’t have much of an effect when they are around others. A Defence What might occur to them is that leaving the present moment around others is what feels comfortable. The reason for this is that they may believe that completely showing up will cause them to be rejected and even abandoned. Deep down, they can believe that there is something inherently wrong with them and, if they were to fully show up, this would give people the chance to realise how flawed they are. One is then going to be hiding in plain sight. A Key Area Along with what they believe about themselves, there is likely to be the shame that they are also carrying. This can be held deep in their face, primarily their eyes and cheeks, and just above their stomach. So, with this trauma inside them, it is not going to be much of a surprise that they find it hard to stay in their body around others and to connect with them. They may also find that they find it harder to be present around men/women. Back In Time What this can illustrate is that there was a time in their life when they experienced some kind of abuse. This would have overwhelmed their system, making it more or less impossible for them to feel safe in their body. There is a strong chance that their early years were a time when they experienced abuse, and this may have been physical, verbal and/or sexual. The years will then have passed but what took place will still be affecting them. Awareness The truth is that there is nothing inherently wrong with them but, until they start to work through the layers of trauma that are within them, they probably won’t be able to truly realise this – it will just be another piece of information. This is why the assistance of a therapist or a healer is so important, as someone like this will assist one in getting rid of what is stopping them from being able to embrace their inherent worth.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Critical Thinking: Does The West’s Obsession With Tolerance Show How Out Of Balance It Has Become?7/8/2018
In today’s world, a day rarely goes by when someone in the public eye won’t talk about how important it is to be tolerant. This is often seen as the ultimate value to have; it is as though it is the answer to most, if not all, problems.
Therefore, the more that people are willing to allow the views and behaviours that they don’t agree with to exist, the better the world will be for everyone. And, as some many countries in the western world are being flooded with people from different cultures, it is clear to see how necessary it is for people to be tolerant. Two Options When the people who live in these countries are able to tolerate the differences that these people bring to their country, it will allow the country to function much better than if they were to simply resist these differences. By doing this, diversity really will be their strength; as opposed to an empty phrase that is repeated endlessly by the people in power. Nonetheless, when this doesn’t happen and there are people are not willing to go along with this, it is going to create problems. Now, this could lead to violence, but it won’t always be this black and white. A Number of Issues There can be people who will end up physically harming people who are different and/or they might verbally abuse them. In addition to this, there are likely to be others who would just keep their distance and not reach out. When something likes this occurs, it is going to divide a country. So, instead of having a country where most people have similar values and live by the same laws, there will be different groups within a country, and each group will have their own values and laws. The Real World To say that this might happen would be a mistake, though, as this is exactly what is happening in the western world. The answer that is put forward when it comes to these problems is, of course, for people to be more tolerant. However, it is not uncommon for the mainstream media to overlook the challenges that multiculturalism has brought. If someone speaks up about what they are not willing to tolerate, along with what they have experienced, they can end up being silenced. The Death of Free Speech This can be something that will take place by people calling them a myriad of different things. They could end up being called a racist or an islamophobe, and/or they might say they suffer from xenophobia. It is then going to be irrelevant as to why these people have the views that they do or what they have been through, as they will try to shame them into silence and have no interest in putting themselves in their shoes. Clearly, this is not how people should behave in a civilised society. Childlike Behaviour If this related to a small group of children, and these children were calling another child names, it would be easier to accept. This is not because this behaviour is acceptable; it is because these children are unlikely to know any better. Yet, when it comes to an adult, they should be in a position where they have grown out of this and are able to have a mature discussion with someone regardless of what their views are. It is as though these kinds of people believe that this is the right way to behave, and one then has to wonder what this says about the education system. Paying to be Indoctrinated If, after spending years in the education system, so many people are coming out without the ability to think critically and to argue rationally, it doesn’t take a genius to see that something is not right. Then again, if this is what the people at the top want, everything will be exactly as it needs to be. After all, it is going to be a lot harder to control someone if they have the ability to do both of these things. This doesn’t mean that they won’t be affected by propaganda, but it will be a lot easier for them to spot it. Is It Always Good To Be Tolerant? So, when someone has the ability to think critically, they will see that being tolerant can do more harm than good. For one thing, it has been said that tolerance is a precursor to abuse, and it is not difficult to see why this is. Whether it relates to a personal relationship or a country that allows people from other cultures to behave how they did back home, the outcome can be the same – being taken advantage of and not doing anything about it. Whereas if an individual or a country were clear about what they will and won’t put up with, they wouldn’t have to end up in this position. A Weakness Taking this into account, while being tolerant can be a sign that someone or a country is open minded and is willing to allow opinions and behaviours that they don’t agree with to exist, it can also show that they lack backbone. When it comes to the latter, it won’t be a sign of virtue; it will be a clear sign that they need to wake up and to stand their ground. This is then similar to how someone can see themselves as a good person, due to the fact that they always say yes and focus on other people’s needs. In reality, this is likely to show that they don’t feel safe enough to say no and that they don’t value themselves enough to take care of their own needs. Conclusion With this in mind, could it be that so many people in the western world don’t value the countries that they live in, which is why they are happy for their culture to be gradually destroyed? The mainstream media and the education system are often happy to blame western civilisation, for everything, and to make out that ‘all cultures are equal’, amongst other things. Could this conditioning have something to do with the reason why so many people in the west are happy to throw away the freedoms that their ancestors worked so hard for? Tolerance could be seen as a feminine value and, to balance this value out, the masculine value of intolerance will need to be utilised from time to time. This is no different to how there is a time to say yes and there is also be a time when it is necessary to say no, both of these words are important. Both the masculine and feminine energies are important; the trouble with the west is that is has moved too far to one side of the spectrum.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Masculinity: Can The Fear Of Being Harmed Cause Someone To Disconnect From Their Masculine Aspect?7/8/2018
It is not uncommon for someone to be in a position where they find it hard to stand their ground. Therefore, instead of assertive themselves when it is necessary, they just allow other people to walk over them.
Along with this, they may have the tendency to say yes when they would rather say no, causing them to do things that they don’t really want to do. There may be times when behaving in this way won’t have much of an effect on them, while there will be other times when it does. A Build-Up However, even if something doesn’t have a big effect on them, it will be yet another time in their life when they haven’t been able to assert themselves. Each instance will build on the other, causing them to feel even more weighed down by life. Consequently, it is going to be a challenge for them to feel empowered and as though they have an effect on their life. Still, when they are around others, they could create the impression that they are happy with the way their life is going. Easy Going They could typically be described as someone who is calm and only too happy to be there for others. One could be seen as a selfless human being, someone who is only too happy to put other people’s needs before their own. From the outside, then, it can seem as though they are a model human being, yet this will be nothing more than a facade. If these people were able to tune into how one really felt, their view of them would soon change. A Doormat If they are in an intimate relationship, they will most likely be used to feeling as though they are invisible. But while they could blame their partner for what is going on, this is only going to take place because they let it happen. Focusing on their partners needs and ignoring their own needs is likely to be the norm. If they accept the fact that they are playing a part in all this, there will be no reason for them to see themselves a victim. Out of Balance They may find that there are a number of people in their life who controlling and have idea about how intrusive they are. It could then be said that these people need to bring themselves in a bit. If these people were to bring their energy in and to be more receptive to other people’s needs, it would make it easier for them to respect other people’s boundaries. On the other hand, one needs to be able to push their energy out and to focus less on other people’s needs. A Mirror Some of people they come into contact with are then going to the complete opposite of them, or so it would seem. Deep down, they may have more in common with them than they realise. Once one is able to embrace the other side of their nature, they are likely to find that they rarely come into contact with people who try to walk over them. And, when this does happen, they will typically know how to respond. Disconnected If one was to reflect on how they have behaved, they may come to see that they have a stronger connection with their feminine aspect than they do with their masculine aspect. In fact, they may see that they have a very weak connection to the latter. The masculine aspect will be what gives them courage, strength and aggression, and the energy behind these traits, along with others, will allow them to stand their ground. One might believe that this energy is not inside them or else they wouldn’t behave in this way. What Happened? This energy will be within them, but what will have most likely caused them to disconnect from it is what took place during their early years. During this time, it wouldn’t have been safe for them to assert themselves. As a result of this, they would have had to disconnect from their instincts and to lose touch with their natural aggression. If they had expressed themselves in this way, it may have caused them to be harmed. Survival Through being small and dependent, they wouldn’t have had a lot of power, and this would have meant that they had to lose touch with their fight instinct, becoming extremely obedient in the process. But, while this would have kept them alive, it would have set them up to suffer as an adult. Disconnecting from this part of themselves wouldn’t have stopped them from being abused, but it may have may have minimised how often it took place. They wouldn’t have been able to run or to fight back at this age, so they were left with one option – to disconnect from the part of them that wanted to fight back and to keep them alive. Awareness This would have been a time in their life when they experienced a fair amount of trauma, and this trauma is likely to have stayed within them to this day. Taking this into account, one will need to deal with this trauma if they want to operate as a whole human being. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance. What matters is that one does something about this and doesn’t continue to life a half-life.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Relationships: Can The Fear Of Being Seen Cause Someone To Attract People Who Are Unavailable?6/8/2018
There are a number of things that can stop one from being able to have a fulfilling relationship, and ending up with someone who is unavailable will be one of the things that will stop them from being able to fulfil this need. When this takes place, they can find it hard to understand how this has happened.
Before they met this person, they may have been really clear about the kind of person that they wanted to be with. They will then have ‘asked’ for what they wanted, but it won’t have been ‘given’ to them. A Pattern If this is the first time that they have been in this type of situation, it might be easier for them to handle than if it had happened before. At the same time, if they haven’t been through this before they won’t have anything to compare it with, so it could still be incredibly hard for them to come to terms with what is going on. However, if they have already been through all this in the past, it could be taken as yet another sign that they have no control over this area of their life. It can then be normal for them to feel hopeless and powerless, amongst other things. The Same Old Story When one first met the person they are with, they may have believed that they had finally found someone who was available. This person may have appeared to be radically different to the type of people they have been with in the past. But, as the days, weeks and months passed, the signs would have started to appear. Even so, there is the chance that it took a while before they were able to see these signs and to face reality. Holding On Due to what they have been through in the past, it would be understandable if something like this took place. Being in denial would have been a way for them to keep their emotional pain at bay. The trouble with this approach is that it would have stopped them from being able to cut their ties. Instead of seeing what was actually going on and moving on, they would have continued to waste their time, energy and attention on someone who was not right for them. A Number of Different Scenarios If they were to think about how they knew that the person they are with was unavailable, a number of things may come to mind. They may have spoken about their ex a lot and even spent a lot of time around them. It was then clear that these two people were no longer together, but it would have been as though they were still emotionally attached to each other. Ultimately, their heart would have been somewhere else. Stuck On the First Stage Also, one may have wanted to take the relationship to the next level on a number of occasions, only for the other person to put the brakes on each time. Each time, the other person would have made it clear that they were not willing to commit or to settle down. Additionally, their partner may have had a least one affair, even though both of them made it clear from the start that they wanted a monogamous relationship. They may even have found that their partner was still in a relationship with someone else. Moving On If they were to put this relationship to one side, they may find that a number - if not all - of these things has occurred in the past. There will then be a number of different ways in which someone will behave when they are unavailable, nevertheless, they will still be unavailable. Bringing this relationship to a close will be important; that’s if it can be called a relationship, of course. The next thing can be for them to stay single for a little while and to look into why this is taking place. The Common Denominator While seeing themselves as a victim might allow them to be energised by their anger, what this won’t do is allow them to change their life. The only way their life is going to change is if they go deep within themselves and connect to what is going on. What they are likely to find is that being with someone who is not unavailable is what feels safe. So, on one level this will cause them to suffer, but at a deeper level this will benefit them. Back In Time In order for them to understand why they would feel safe being with someone who can’t fully show up, it might be a good idea for them to look back on what took place when they were younger. Through doing this, what they may find is that it wasn’t safe for them to reveal their true-self. Perhaps this was a time in their life when they experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect, which would have caused them to develop a false-self. They would have believed that there was something wrong with who they were, and creating a false-self would have been a matter of survival. Hiding Away A big part of them would have ended up disconnecting from the rest of them, and this would then have stopped them from being able to operate as a whole human being and to be present. The need to hide would have been stronger than their need to be seen. This is because being seen wouldn’t have been safe, whereas hiding who they were and playing a role would have kept them alive. The part that they need to reconnect with as an adult is likely to be their inner child, and this part is likely to be carrying a lot of shame and fear, amongst other things. Protection Being with someone who is unavailable is not going to fulfil their adult needs, but what it will do is allow them to hide who they are. If they were to meet someone who was actually available, they would have to come into contact with the part of themselves that they have been trying to run away from – their true-self. As this part of them is likely to feel worthless, they can believe that they would be rejected and abandoned if they were to reveal who they are to others. Thus, no matter how painful it is to continually end up with people who are unable to be present, it won’t be as bad as what they believe would happen if someone was to see what was to actually see them. Awareness Fortunately, there is nothing inherently wrong with them, and this is something that they will be able to realise by working through their pain. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When a woman has the tendency to end up with men who are unavailable, it is naturally going to have a negative effect on her wellbeing. Her desire to be with a man who is available is not going to be met, so it is to be expected that this won’t be something that she can simply overlook.
If this was something that had only happened once, there would be no reason for her to get too caught up in what has taken peace. For one thing, not every man she is drawn to is going to be available. A One-Off She could be at the beginning of her life, which will make it easier for her to look to the future and to think about how this area of her life will change. It is then not that this is how her life will always be; it is just a stage of her life. However, if this is not the case and the she has had this experience on more than one occasion, it can be harder for her to experience hope for the future. The years will have passed, yet this area of her life will have stayed the same. A Brick Wall As a result of this, it might not matter if she is at the beginning of her life or past this stage, as it will be a challenge for her to feel as though she has any control over this area of her life. It might seem as though the only way her life will change if is she meets a man who is different. The solution that she needs to solve this challenge is then going to be ‘out there’ somewhere. If she was to think about when she was last with a guy who was not really there, she may find that it wasn’t too long ago. The Right Description But while a man like this is going to be unavailable, she may prefer to describe a man like as ‘aloof’. Ultimately, when she is with a man like this, it is likely to be hard for her to know where she stands. The term ‘hot cold behaviour’ is going to be apt, as one moment he will show interest and in the next moment he will be distant. Another way of looking at it would be to say that there are times when he is on this earth and times when he is on another planet. Modern Day Technology This can take place when she can’t get hold of him and it can take place when he is physically there but mentally and emotionally somewhere else. Smartphone’s and other devices will give him the ability to show up and then to disappear, without having to worry about responding at a certain time. When he doesn’t respond, she may find that it is not possible for her to focus on other areas of her life. Her presence is then going to be consumed by a man who is not present – how ironic. All at Sea So, the man is not going to show up much, but he will still have a lot of control over her attention and emotional state. At times, she may see that he is like a puppet master and she is like a puppet; with her strings going pulled by him. When he shows up, she can feel good about herself and as though her life is going in the right direction, and, when he doesn’t, she can feel down and as though her life is not going anywhere. She is likely to experience the type of drama that is often seen in sitcoms and films, for instance. Dangling the Carrot There may have been moments when she has called him up on his behaviour, only for him to say the same thing each time: that he will change. Alternatively, he might end up invalidating her experience and make out that it is all in her head or that she is too needy. If she was to open up to her friends and family about what has been taking place in this area of her life, she may end up being told that she deserves better. Still, simply walking away and finding someone else is unlikely to lead to a different outcome. Stepping Back What is patently clear is that this man - along with the other men that she has been with – finds it hard to fully show up when he is with a woman. Nevertheless, if she was focus solely on what is going on for him, or any of the other men she has been with who behaved in a similar manner, it is unlikely to transform her life. If she was to reflect on the type of men she has attracted and then to bring her focus back to herself, and then to look into why she has tendency to be drawn to men who are like this, she will be able to gradually change her life. At a deeper level, what she is likely to find is that being with a man like this is what feels comfortable. Beyond The Mind Her mind could say that this is not the case and this may cause her to become defensive. Yet, if she was able to detach from what is taking place in her mind and to connect to her body, she may soon begin to see why her life is like this. During this time, she may find that her inner child doesn’t want to be seen, with this being why she is drawn to men who are absent in one way or another. Through being with a man who is not fully present, she won’t have to worry about being seen. Inner Conflict This dynamic will both baffle and frustrate her adult self, but her child self will feel at home with it. And, no matter how many years have passed since she was a child, this child part of her will still have a lot of control over her life. This part of her will give her all the answers she needs when it comes to why this area of her life is the way it is. Connecting to this part of herself can take time, but it will be worth it. What Happened? At the beginning of her life, it wouldn’t have been safe enough for her to reveal her true-self. Instead, she would have needed to create a false-self; this would have been a way her to handle living in an environment that wasn’t safe and secure. She probably came to believe that there was something inherently wrong with her being. Thus, who she was had to be hidden and this would have stopped her from being able to be fully present. Awareness There may have been abuse and/or neglect, and it would have been even harder for her to have handled this if she was a sensitive child. For her to be able to be able to fully show up in life and thereby to attract a man who can do the same, she will need to embrace her inherent value and to feel safe in her body. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When a man and a woman are together, and they are both in touch with their power, there will be no need for one of them to try to rescue the other. They will both have boundaries and they won’t be carrying too much baggage.
So, instead of seeing each other as competitors; they will be able to truly be there for each other and to offer their support when it is necessary. This will allow them to grow and to develop. Stronger Together As a result of this, being together is going to have a positive effect on their lives. Now, this doesn’t mean that there won’t be moments when their wounds are triggered; what it means is that they will be able to work through them. Through holding space for each other to do this, it will limit the amount of tension that they will experience. This is likely to show that they realise that a relationship is not supposed to be full of pleasure; that there will be times when pain arises. Accountability Said another way, they won’t have their head in the clouds, which will make it easier for them to handle the ups and downs. There is a strong chance that both of them have done a fair amount of work on themselves in order to have a relationship like this. Both of them will have the desire to face and to work on their own issues, and absolutely no interest in blaming their partner for what comes up for them. In addition to the effect that this relationship will have on their own life, there will also be the impact that is has on the world around them. A Bigger Impact Through being together and supporting each other, they will have more energy to give to the world. The positivity and love that is generated between them will end up being spread far and wide. If on the other hand, one of them was trying to save the other, it would stop them from being able to have much of an impact on the world. One of them wouldn’t be in a good way and the other would be spending most of their time and energy trying to change the others life. A Common Occurrence But while it will be far more fulfilling for someone to be in relationship where they don’t need to save their partner, this is not something that always take place. This then leads to a scenario where a man is trying to save a women or a woman is trying to save a man – and this is something that can, of course, also take place between two men and two women. When this does take place, one person will be behaving more like the other persons parent than their partner. Even so, this can be what is normal to them, meaning that they won’t be able to see how dysfunctional this is. A Way of Life A man can then be in a relationship with a woman whose life is not going anywhere, and, in addition to this, she may even have mental and emotional challenges. Being with her is then going to take a lot out of him, giving him very little in return. It will then be as though his life force is being sucked from him, but this won’t be enough to push him away. And, no matter what he does for her, there is the chance that her life won’t really change. One of Many He could look back on his life and see that this is not the first time he has been with a women like this. Due to this, he could believe that all women are incapable, and that it is up to men to save them. What might help to support this belief is that he may have a number of male friends who are also with women who come across as though they are incapable. Yet, if he was to end up with a woman who didn’t need saving, he might soon lose interest in her. Trapped In a Role There is the chance that the man will have a played the role of the rescuer for so long that he probably doesn’t know how else to behave. He is likely to believe that his value is defined by what he does for others. Therefore, if another person doesn’t need to be rescued, it can be as though he has no purpose. He may also feel ashamed of his own needs; thus, rescuing others can be a way for him to indirectly fulfil his own needs. The False-Self Ultimately, this is just going to be a mask that he wears to receive approval; it won’t have anything to do with who he actually is. His true needs and feelings are likely to be covered up, and the fear of being rejected and/or abandoned is likely to be what keeps them hidden from others. What this can show is that he had to take care of his caregivers needs during the beginning of his life. The roles where then reversed and he became the caregiver and his caregiver/s became the child/children. No Choice He would have believed that there was something wrong with his needs, and ignoring his needs would have been a matter of survival, which was why he had to disconnect from them and to focus on his caregivers needs. This would be taken as a sign that there was something inherently wrong with him, setting him up to believe that he was worthless. A false-self would then have been created, with this being a way for him to please his caregivers. Through being around people who couldn’t take care of their own needs, he may have believed that other people were incapable and that it was his job to rescue them. Awareness So, even though he would have come to believe that there was something wrong with his true-self, he would have developed false-self that allowed him to feel empowered. Rescuing others can be what allows him to feel strong and powerful; whereas if he was to let go off this role he could hit rock bottom. If a man can relate to this and he wants to change his life, it might be a good idea for him to reach out for external support. This can be provided by a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
If someone pays attention to the mainstream media on a regular basis, they may have heard the term ‘toxic masculinity’. And even if they don’t pay attention to this source of information, they may have still heard this term.
This could be because they are at university or have been there in the past, or perhaps they have heard this term by paying attention to the alternative media. Either way, when it comes to what comes to mind when they think of this term; it can all depend on what sources they have paid attention to. A Big Problem If one pays attention to the mainstream media or if they are at university (or have been in the past), they may even believe that masculinity in general is a problem. It is then something that needs to be completely removed from the world. Once this has taken place, everything will be fine and there will be peace on earth – the perfect utopia will exist. And while this could be a sign that they are a woman, there is also the chance that they will be a man. Hard To Take Seriously On the other hand, if one pays attention to the alternative media – or simply has a critical mind – they might find it hard to connect to this term. They may see that while there are masculine traits that are negative, there are also feminine traits that are negative. But, while this is the case, it might seem as though masculinity is being portrayed as being inherently bad and femininity as being as inherently good. It will be as if the mainstream media, the education system, along with other sources, are more interested in demonizing men than they are with taking a balanced look at masculinity. Overlooked If they were interested in taking a balanced look at this, they would surely look into ‘toxic femininity’ too. Also, what is rarely spoken about is how both men and women contain the masculine and the feminine energies within them. Therefore, not only can men behave in ways that are destructive, women can also behave in the same way. However, the trouble with taking this into consideration is that it makes it harder to demonize men. Lopsided Through focusing exclusively on the negative side of masculinity, it can appear as though there is nothing good about it. Instead of it being clear that there are good and bad traits, masculinity ends up being synonymous with rape, murder, crime, violence and destruction, for instance. And, as hard as this may be for a rational minded human being to comprehend, there are people are there who now believe that ‘all men are rapists’. It could then be said that this shows how powerful this propaganda is or it proves that some people haven’t developed the ability to think critically. Early Trauma Clearly, if someone views men in this way, it is going to make it harder for them to relax around them. Killing every man on the planet might end up being seen as the only solution to the destruction that men bring. Yet, to say that someone would only believe this because of what they have been told by the media and the education system might be an oversight. What is also likely to have played a part is what happened during the beginning of their life. A Strange Scenario It could be said that it is not much of a surprise for the mainstream media to try to undermine men in this way; it’s not as if this source of information is there to actually inform anyone. What could be seen as a surprise, though, is that the education system is trying to do this. The general outlook is that the education system is there to educate people - to give them what they need to handle life. So if this is the case, why are young boys and girls being conditioned to be suspicious of one another? The Key Someone doesn’t need to have a degree in propaganda to understand that the best way to condition people is to work on them from a very young age. Therefore, if the brain washing begins as soon as they start school (and some countries want to lower the age, surprise, surprise), they will be the perfect automatons when they are older. If these kinds of seeds are planted at a young age, it is not going to be much of a shock if someone experiences conflict when it comes to the opposite sex during their adult years. One of the consequences of this kind of propaganda, then, is that it divides men and women, making it harder for them to get on with each other. The Tip of The Iceberg Demonizing masculinity is also a great way to make men passive, weak and incapable of pushing back against the system. One way to defeat a civilisation is through physical force, another way is to destroy its citizenry from the inside. Taking this into account, it is as though the people at the top have been working day and night to undermine the west in the only way that they could. As Ariel Duran once said, "A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within." Conclusion The establishment has many different arms of their operation, with each arm performing a similar function. Regardless of whether it is the attack on men, migration or discouraging people from having children, it seems that one part of the plan is to destroy western civilisation. Finally, masculinity is not toxic, any more than femininity is toxic. But, in the same way that someone will need to learn how to use a machine, they will need the right guidance and to heal any trauma – from their early years and what has been passed down from their ancestors - in order to express their masculinity in the right way.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
There are some people who will feel comfortable being in a relationship with someone who is not abusive, while there will be others who won’t. Therefore, if someone who can relate to the former was to end up with someone who is abusive, they would probably soon walk away.
And, if someone who can relate to the latter was to end up with someone who is not abusive, there is a strong chance that they would also walk way. This might be hard to believe, due to what they have been through in the past. A Common Outlook When someone has the tendency to end up with people who are abusive, it can be normal for them to be seen as a victim. Thus, they just happen to end up with people who are abusive. It is then as though they would jump at the chance to be with someone who is different, taking this opportunity with both hands. The trouble with this viewpoint is that it doesn’t look into what part this person is playing in all this. Outrage If someone like this was asked this question, they could end up believing that they are being blamed for what they have been through. This will then be an example of ‘victim blaming’, and their inner world could end up being filled with anger and even rage. What this would show is that they have ended up being defensive, which will make it hard to get through to them. In fact, it might make it impossible to do this, and this may mean that this person will continue to behave in the same manner. Two Choices If they were to carry on as normal, it is unlikely that their life will just change. But, as they see themselves as a victim and believe that there are people out there who want to victimise them, this is not much of a surprise. Alternatively, if they were to take the time to reflect on the fact that they play a part when it comes to who they attract, they will be able to gradually change their circumstances. This won’t be easy, but what it will do is allow them to transform their life. An Opportunity So, let’s say that someone like this was to come into contact with someone who is different, and that they ended up in a relationship together. Part of them might feel comfortable with what is going on, while another part of them probably won’t. Now, what can define what will happen next is how aware they are of what is going on within them. If they were able to tune into the part of themselves that doesn’t feel comfortable, it will give them the chance to do something about it. A Distraction What can stop them from being able to connect with how they really feel is if they get too attached to what is taking place in their mind. This part of the can come up with all kinds of reasons as to why this person is not right for them. Even so, this will only lead to problems if they allow themselves to be caught up in what this part of them comes up with. For example, their mind could say that this person is not a good match, or that they are boring. Running Away If they were to get caught up in what this part of them says and to ignore the part of them that wants to stay, they might soon end the relationship. They may even end up going back with an abusive ex. Being with someone like this will make it harder for them to feel at peace, but it will be what feels comfortable. Yet, this will give them the chance to see that a big part of them feels at home with someone like this. Deep Down If they were to stay with someone who is healthy and connected with how they feel, as opposed to getting caught up in what is going on in their mind, what they may find is that they don’t feel as though they deserve to be with someone like this. And even though it will be clear that this person is not a threat to their survival, they may find that they don’t feel safe either. When they are with someone who is abusive, a big part of them is going to feel comfortable. Not only will this be what they believe they deserve, but being with someone who is unpredictable will – as strange as this may seem – be what feels safe. The Ideal Naturally, it is going to be far better for one to stay with someone who is healthy and to work through what comes up, than it will be for them to end the relationship and to go back to someone who is abusive. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance. If they are unable to do this, they might need to spend a little while longer with someone who treats them badly until they are able to get to the point where enough is enough. What they went through with the person who was different will have made it clear to them that not everyone is the same. Awareness It will be as though a seed has been planted in their mind, and this seed will stay there until it is able to grow into something more, something greater. In order for it to grow, it will be necessary for them to be in a functional relationship.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Nowadays, it is not uncommon for someone to act as though it is their purpose to save the world. The world is then going to be in a mess and it will be up to them to do something about it.
This could be something that will consume their whole life, meaning that it will be hard for them to take a step back and to relax. If they were to do this, they may believe that everything would get even worse. A Heavy Weight One is likely to be a very responsible person, and this may cause them to experience a lot of stress. It is not that being responsible is the problem per se; the problem is that they will take on far too much. However, even if another person was to point this out to them, it doesn’t mean that it would have an impact on them. They are likely to be too attached to what they are doing to be able to change their behaviour. Another Outcome There are going to be plenty of people who supply them with positive feedback for behaving in this way. Some of these people will also believe that the world needs to be saved and this will cause them to behave in a similar manner. Along with this, there will be others who have the same belief but this won’t be enough for them to behave in the same way. If they were to come into contact with people who don’t have this outlook, they might not listen to what they have to say. A Number of Angles Now, even though one will believe that the world needs to be saved, it doesn’t mean that they will focus on everything. As far as they are concerned, one area could be seen as being more important than any other area. Therefore, if this area is sorted out, it will allow the world to fully recover. For example, one could believe that everything would be fine if everyone ‘woke up’ and embraced their true nature, or that the world would change if the right political party were in power. Two Sides Alternatively, one could have a view that is incredibly extreme, and this may mean that they believe that the world would be fine if all white people were removed or if there were no Muslims on the planet. But, no matter what they believe the problem is, what is ‘out there’ will need to be changed. It will then be as though they are just observing the world and they are not playing a part in what they see. Said another way, one will be separate from what they see and there will then be no reason for them to change themselves in any way. Out of Balance In order for one to see themselves as simply an observer of their reality and to believe that they are not playing a part in what they do or don’t see, it is likely to show that they are out of touch with themselves. This is usually what takes place after someone has experienced trauma. Instead of having a strong connection with their body - which would allow them to see that they are co-creators and observers – their attention is likely to primarily be in their head. This could show that this person lives in the west, or was brought up there. A Natural Consequence After one has experienced trauma, and this could be a one-off event or something they experienced on a regular basis, it would have caused them to leave their body. This is would have been something that just happened, as opposed to something that they consciously chose to do. Perhaps their early years were a time when they experienced abuse and/or neglect, or maybe it related to what happened after these years. Once their attention was no longer divided between their head and body and was firmly rooted in their head, it would have set them up to see themselves as an observer of life. Projection One is then likely to be carrying a lot of pain in their body, and this pain will have an effect on how they experience life. But, as they are out of touch with this pain, they will end up projecting it onto the outside world. Another way of looking at this would be to say that they will place the parts of themselves that they need to save onto others and the world in general. It will then be as though these people, along with the world, need to be saved. Avoidance Ultimately, this will be a defence mechanism that allows them to keep their pain at a safe distance. What this will do is to allow them to be caught up in the illusion that what is out there needs to be changed, not what is inside them. Thus, it is not possible for one to dispassionately observe the world; everything they see is being filtered through their own belief system. And what they see is also the result of what they believe. The Easy Option If one was to no longer try to save the world and decided to bring their attention to what is going on inside their body, they might end up being overwhelmed by how they feel. This could be a time when they will feel powerless and worthless, for instance. On the other hand, through trying to save the world, they can end up feeling powerful and even virtuous. So, even though they might do more harm than good by behaving in this way, they won’t have to face themselves. Conclusion When someone believes that it is up to them to save the world, they can be extremely deluded. Their mind can end up being closed to anything that goes against what they believe and they can try to control others. The only thing that one can really do is to live their life and to be an example to others. What will also help is the realisation that they don’t always know best and that the universe knows far more than they do, which will make it easier for them to trust and to let go of the need to control everything.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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