Critical Thinking: Why Are The People Who Talk About Tolerance Often The Most Intolerant?10/10/2018
For quite some time now, a lot has been said about how important it is to be tolerant. This is something that someone is likely to have heard if they follow the mainstream media or listen to what politicians have to say, for instance.
It is as though tolerance is the ultimate western value - a value that overshadows every other. The ideal, then, is going to be for someone to be tolerant at all times, and to do what they can to let go of their need to control what people can or can’t do. Out of Balance But, while being tolerant can sound wonderful, it doesn’t take much deliberation to see that there is a dark side to it. When someone is tolerant it means that they accept everything, which shows that they are amoral. A moral human being wont tolerate everything; just as a moral society won’t tolerate certain things. And, while this can sound negative, it will protect the rights of the people in the long run. Moving On With that aside, what is strange about all this is that it is not uncommon for the people who talk about tolerance to be incredibly intolerant. Someone like this is then going to be in a position where they say all the right things, yet their behaviour won’t match up with what they preach. There are people like this on mainstream TV, in the education system, and at demonstrations. This is then something that is taking place in just about area of life and even at places that are supposed to set an example. Resistance If one was to find someone who says one thing, but does another and pointed out what is taking place, they probably wouldn’t get very far. One might be met with a wall of denial and they might even end up being verbally abused. Or, they could deny what has been said and end up trying to justify their behaviour. It could then be said that the reason why they can’t be honest with another person about what is going on is because they are unable to be honest with themselves. Their Reality When someone has the tendency to wax lyrical about tolerance but their behaviour is rarely, if ever, in sync with what they say, it is likely to be due to the identity that they have created. While this identity will set them up to see themselves as supremely tolerant, it will also have caused them to disconnect from reality and themselves. Therefore, the identity that they have formed won’t allow them to face reality; no, it will have stopped them from being able to face it. And, in their version of reality, they will be an evolved and level-headed human being. A Mismatch Based on the identity that they have created, and how they perceive reality, it is not going to be possible for them to accept that they are hypocrites. Anything that goes against the view that they have of themselves as tolerant beings will be filtered out. The time and energy that they put into cracking down on people who are intolerant will validate what they believe about themselves. Consciously, they can tell themselves that this proves how tolerant they are. Inner Conflict Nevertheless, if they were able to let go of the false-self that they have created and to get in touch with their true feelings, they would be in for a big shock. They would probably realise that the reason why they feel the need to spend so much time trying to change others is because of what they are projecting onto them. The intolerance that they see in these people is likely to be a reflection of the parts of themselves that are too unbearable for them to tolerate. The trouble is that as they are unaware of these parts of themselves, it causes them to believe that it is the external world that needs to change. An Unconscious Life Their conscious mind can make it hard for them to see what is going on; due to what is going through their mind and what they say to others. They will be focused on what they are doing to put an end to intolerance and the types of people they associate with, for instance, thereby allowing them to stay in this deluded state. Until the time comes when they are able to detach from what is taking place in their head and to get touch with what is taking place in their body, they will continue to try to change their own shadow. Once they can own their own stuff and begin to work through it, it will give them the chance to demonstrate real tolerance. Conclusion Joining some kind of movement and trying to change others can be very tempting to someone who feels powerless, unimportant and worthless. Being part of a group can allow them to feel powerful, important and righteous. Behaving in this way will allow them to keep their emotional wounds at bay, but what it won’t do is allow them to truly grow and develop. Instead of making the world a better place, they will simply be adding even more drama to it.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Self-Love: Can Someone’s Inner Critic Make It Hard For Them To Feel Good About Themselves?9/10/2018
When someone is able to talk to themselves in a positive manner, it is going to be a lot easier for them to feel good. This is similar to how one is likely to feel better if they are in the company of someone who treats them well.
Through being around this person, they can feel good in their company and, once their time together has come to an end, they can continue to feel good. In the same way, one can feel good when they talk to themselves in a positive manner and they can feel good even after this has stopped, thanks to the positive feelings that will have been triggered. Numerous Benefits Another consequence of this is that they are going to be more likely to take action and to go after their dreams. The voice within them will provide them with the support that they need and it will enable them to believe in themselves. And, even if something doesn’t go to plan or they make a mistake, there will be no reason for them to abuse themselves. In the same way that a loving parent will be supportive when their child makes a mistake; this part of them will also be there to give them the love that they need to get back on their feet. Inner Harmony Along with this, if they were to end up on the receiving end of verbal abuse or to spend time around someone who is abusive, there would be no need for them to tolerate it. Ultimately, what is taking place externally won’t match up with what is taking place within them, which will most likely cause them to push back. They could end up making it clear that what has been said is not acceptable or they might even up walking away and cutting their ties with this person. Due to the fact that they value themselves, their wellbeing will be more important than pleasing others. The Norm There is the chance that one has spoken to themselves in this way for as long as they can remember, signifying that it is just how their life is. Consequently, it might not even occur to them that their life could be different or that there are people out there who experience life differently. They are going to be their own best friend as opposed to their own worst enemy, and this is going to serve them well. They are likely to have a number of fulfilling relationships, they might also have a rewarding career, and they will likely allow themselves to rest when they need to. A Different Reality There are going to be plenty of people in the world that experience life in this way and there are also going to be plenty people that don’t. In fact, there are probably far more people that fall into the second category. In this case, someone is rarely going to talk to themselves in a positive manner. Instead, their inner voice is going to be there to tear them down or to make them feel even worse when they are already down. A Destructive Influence Therefore, this part of them is not going to work with them, to give them the support that they need; it will be there to make their life a misery. This is going to make it hard for them to take action and to go after their dreams. But, if they are able to use their willpower to push through all the negativity that is within their own head, it will be hard for them to appreciate what they do achieve. This part of them can tell them that they are worthless, no matter what they achieve. A Match So, if they come into contact with someone who is rude to them or if they end up in a relationship with someone who is abusive, there will be no reason for them to push back. What someone like this comes out with will have a lot in common how one talks to themselves. If someone was to treat them with respect, they might wonder what is going on; being treated in this way is not going to feel right. Even so, to the outside observer who is not aware of what is taking place within them, it can seem as though one is simply a victim. Weighed Down In general, they could find that they feel down and even depressed, and they might even experience a lot of anxiety. The unease that they experience could be down to them fearing that they will be rejected and even abandoned, if other people were to find out how worthless they are. It will be as though they will be found out, and this is naturally going to cause them to experience a lot of unnecessary pressure. Yet, while their inner critic is going to be having a destructive effect on their life, one might not even realise that their life doesn’t have to be this way. A Parasite After having experienced life in this way for so long, it could be as if this inner critic is just part of who they are. Thus, in same way that an arm or a leg is part of them, their inner critic will be part of their inner world. One is then going to be completely indentified with this part of them, meaning that it won’t be possible for them to step back and to see that it is basically an intruder. This part of them is not going to be their conscience either, even though it may appear to be. Awareness What took place at the beginning of their life is likely to have been what caused them to develop this inner critic. Perhaps their caregiver/s had the tendency to treat them like dirt, and as though they had no value. Their voice/s would then have ended up being internalised, causing them to talk to themselves in the same way. If someone can relate to this, and they want to get rid of this inner critic, they may need to reach out for the support of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Nowadays, there appears to be no shortage of people who have been treated badly by others or by an organisation, for instance. TV programs, newspapers, and websites routinely talk about people who have experienced some kind of discrimination.
It doesn’t stop there though, as there are also plenty of websites, articles, and comments on social media sites where people talk about their own experiences of being taken advantage of. Through observing this trend, a number of people have postulated that we now live in a ‘vicitmocracy’. One Area If someone is used to being treated badly in life, this may be something that primarily affects one area of their life. Perhaps it is hard for them to perform at their best while they are at work, due to how they are treated by others. This could be somewhere where they are constantly undermined, not only by their colleagues but also by the people who are higher up the ladder. When they are in this environment they can end up feeling angry and full of rage, or they could feel this way after they have experienced fear and anxiety. All Areas However, even if they are only treated badly in this area of their life, it could still cast a cloud over other areas of their life. How they feel in this environment could shape how they feel even when they are not at work. And, if someone is often treated badly in one area of their life, it is highly likely that this is something that takes place in all areas of their life. Therefore, they could be in a relationship with someone who is abusive in some way. Undermined This person could be verbally, physically and/or emotionally abusive, and this is going to make it hard for them to feel good about themselves. When they talk to their friends or family, they could spend a lot of time going over what their partner is like and how they need to end the relationship. Conversely, they might not be in a relationship but they may have been with a number of people who were like this in the past. This could be a time when they are taking a break or simply waiting until they find someone who is different. Disempowered What is clear is that someone like this is unlikely to feel as though they have a lot of control over their life. They can believe that while other people have the ability to shape their life, this is not an option that is available to them. It is always going to be a case of when, not if, another person will violate them in some way. Due to how they experience life, there is a strong chance that they will strongly indentify with people who feel oppressed and victimised by the world. One Outlook One way of looking at this would be to say that one just happens to experience life in this way and that they are not playing a part in what takes place. One is then a victim and it will be down to them to do what they can to protect themselves. The fact they this makes them angry and that they push back against what is going on will then show that they don’t want to experience life in this way. Said another way, they are resisting what is taking place. Another Angle Another way of looking at this would be to say that although they are consciously resisting what is going on, their unconscious mind is comfortable with what is taking place. But, as they are unaware of what is taking place at a deeper level, it is not possible for them to see what part they are playing in how they experience life. One can then make out that they don’t want to be a victim, with this being backed up by the fact that they push back against the people who violate them and what they do to try to change their life. Yet, deep within them, there can be a benefit to experiencing life in this way. Disconnected What is taking place at a deeper level is then going to be what is creating their life, but as they are not in touch with this part of themselves, it causes them to see themselves a victim. It is then not that they are the ones who are creating a reality where they are continually victimised; it is that they are simply observing a reality where people want to victimise them. When it comes to what is taking place at a deeper level, this is likely to be an effect of what took place during their early years. This would then have been a time in their life when it wasn’t safe for them to assert themselves and to be an empowered human being. A Closer Look At this time in their life, they may have been brought up by at least one caregiver who was abusive in some way. This would have caused them to be violated and undermined, but being treated in this way would have come to be familiar and what is familiar is what is classed as safe to their unconscious mind. As a result of this, this part of them is only going to feel safe when they are being victimised by others and when they feel powerless. Recreating their early experiences can also be a way for them to resolve these early wounds, and this is something that is known as ‘repetition compulsion’. Awareness So, if someone no longer wants to experience life in is way and they are ready to take responsibility for their own life, they may need to reach out for external support. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When it comes to the mainstream culture, it is not uncommon for men to be put down and to be seen as the bane of the earth. This doesn’t mean that women are not also seen as the problem, but this could be seen as something that takes place underground, to speak.
So, while there are plenty of newspapers and TV stations that are only too happy to paint all men as being a certain way; there are also plenty of websites and videos online that are happy to paint all women as being a certain way. It could then be said that it is socially acceptable to put men down but the same can’t be said when it comes to putting women down, which is why this has to be done in a more covert manner. Plenty of Fuel It seems that not a day goes by when there isn’t something in the mainstream media that doesn’t add to the view that men are worthless human beings. Sometimes, something small will be used to prove this, while at others, it will be something that is far bigger. For example, when a woman in the public eye claims that she has been harassed by a man, not a lot of thought is given as to whether or not this actually took place. There are at least two reasons for this: firstly, women are often portrayed as innocent and pure and, secondly, all men are often portrayed as primitive beings that can’t control their urges. The Accepted Narrative Thus, regardless of whether or not a man is actually guilty, he is going to be used to support the view that all men are the same. Clearly, if a man is found to be guilty the appropriate action should be taken, but, without the evidence that he has done anything wrong, it shouldn’t be assumed that he has done anything wrong. The people in the media who support this view of men don’t seem to care about the damage that something like this could do to an innocent man’s life. It’s as though a man deserves to have his whole life ruined, irrespective of if he has done anything wrong. Validation And, if a woman believes that are men are the same, it is going to be music to her ears to hear the mainstream media talk about men in this way. A woman like this may have been in a number of abusive relationships, for instance. Seeing a man go from a position of power to being destroyed is then going to be extremely satisfying. She probably won’t have met this man, but seeing him go down will allow her to indirectly experience revenge. The Other Side When it comes to what is taking place away from the mainstream media, there is plenty of content that basically goes into how worthless women are. One of the main themes is that women can’t be trusted and that if they find another guy who has more money/status, they will soon disappear. And, if a man has been in a relationship where the woman walked away or if he has found it hard to experience fulfilment in this area of his life, for instance, he can be only too happy to hear other men say that women are useless and good for one thing. It will be as though they are enslaved to their biology, are heartless, and are not consciousness beings, unlike men who are in control of their urges, have a heart, and are aware. Letting of Steam Due to what a man has been through he will no doubt carry a lot of anger, anger that is likely to allow him to avoid feeling powerless and helpless, for instance. The experiences what he reads about online will end up enforcing what he already believes. This is then likely to create even more distance between him and women and make it even harder for him to experience fulfilment in this area of his life. Even so, what this will do is allow him to be right, and this is one of the ego minds greatest needs – being wrong is seen as something that will lead to death. A Messy Situation There are then women who hate all men and men who hate all women, along with men who hate themselves and pedestalize women and women who hate themselves and pedestalize men. Therefore, even though it is not possible to say that it is only men who are under attack, it is undoubtedly more socially acceptable to attack men. If someone believes that all men/women are the same and is happy to see a man/woman suffer, it is likely to show that they are carrying a number of emotional wounds. If they were able to get in touch what how they feel below their anger and rage, they may find that they feel rejected, powerless, helpless and worthless, amongst other things. A Reactive Existence Being in touch with these feelings is then likely to cause them to feel incredibly vulnerable; whereas being in touch with the more surface level emotions (such as anger and rage) is likely to allow them to feel strong and powerful. But, while living in this way can allow them to feel strong and powerful, it is going to cause them to be controlled by how they feel. Not only this, it will stop them from being able to realise that not all men/women are the same and to see them as individuals. What they believe will define how they experience life, thereby stopping them from being able to experience anything that goes against what they believe. A Deeper Look When it comes to the emotional wounds that someone can carry, what has happened in their adult life is certainly going to play a part. Yet, what is likely to play an even bigger part is what took place during their early years, and what has been passed down from their ancestors can also play a part. What took place during their early years that can be what is defining how they perceive men/women and the kind of men/women women they will be attracted to and attract. If someone had a father or mother who was abusive, for instance, it would have most likely caused them to experience a lot of trauma, and, it would have laid down the foundations for them to be drawn to men/women who would also abuse them. Two Levels How they were treated at this stage of their life would have become familiar, and what is familiar is what is classed as safe to the ego mind/unconscious mind. The years would then have passed but they are still going to carrying the trauma of being violated and abused. It is then not going to matter what their conscious mind wants to experience, as their unconscious mind will want to experience what took place all those years ago. The trouble is that if someone is not aware of how their early years are affecting their adult life, it will be normal for them to feel like a victim and to blame all men/women. Self-Victimization If going within and working through emotional wounds was easy, it would be a part of everyone’s life One of the biggest challenges to doing this type of work is that the mind disconnects from the body to avoid pain, which can result in someone’s inner wounds being projected onto others. The people who they come into contact with will then press their buttons, so to speak, but they won’t be able to see that these people are mirroring back what they need to resolve within their own being. Without this understanding, they can end up seeing themselves as a victim and other people as perpetrators. Conclusion If someone wants to grow and develop and no longer wants to feed into this drama, they may need to reach out for external support. With the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance, they will be able to gradually work through their emotional wounds. But, if someone is caught up on their own stuff due to their current level of consciousness, there will be no reason for them to change. As a result of this, they will continue to live a reactive life and to play out their early drama.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Being Centred: Is It Harder For Someone To Be Centred If They Have The Need To Please Others?6/10/2018
If someone was to stand on the edge of a building, it would be a lot harder for them to feel at peace than if they were in the middle of it. Being on the edge can cause them to feel uncomfortable, whereas being in the centre may allow them to feel at ease.
In the same way, someone can either be on the edge of themselves or they can be in their centre. If they are on the edge, they can feel disconnected, stressed, anxious and fearful, but, if they are in their centre, they can feel connected, calm, grounded and at peace. The Best Option Based on this, it is going to be far better for someone to be in their centre than it will be for them to to on the edge of themselves. The way for one to be in their centre will be for them to drop out of their mind and to be in their body. This is what will allow them to be in tune with their own needs and feelings, which will make it easier for them to make good decisions. The alternative will be for them to be in their head; a place that will cause them to be on edge. Out of Touch Along with being all at sea, they are not going to have a strong connection with what is taking place within them. Instead, their focus will be on what is taking place around them, causing them to focus solely on other people’s needs. It is then a case of one being in their body and being able to respond to life, or being out of touch with it and reacting to it. What is clear is that it will be far more fulfilling, and far less stressful, for one to be in their centre. Only Human Now, it is undoubtedly going to be a challenge for one to always be in their centre; that is, of course, unless they live in the middle of nowhere. The modern day world is full of things that are designed to distract and to unsettle people. Even so, just because one lives in a society that is full of all kinds of stimulation and drama, it doesn’t mean that they have to be knocked around like a leaf in the wind and to always live on the surface of themselves. There are a number of things that they can do to make sure that stay connected to their centre. One Approach If one finds that they find it hard to be in their centre, they might end up being drawn to meditation. This can then be a way for them to detach from their mind and to get back in their body. Along with this - or if they don’t feel drawn to this - they could end up trying yoga or Tai Chi. Through practicing at least one of these things, it will bring them back into their body and allow them to feel at peace, and, by doing this, they may find that they are less reactive in their day-to-day life. Another Factor Still, although these types of practises will help, they are not going to have much of an effect if one has a strong the need to please others. Being this way can pull them out of their body and cause them to be in their head. And being in their head will then allow them to be aware of what is going on around them, thereby making it easier for them to please others. This is going to uproot them from their body, causing them to be reactive. Tossed Around Through being unable to assert themselves and to say no when they don’t want to do something, it is going to be normal for them to be controlled by the people in their life. It won’t matter what they want; what will matter is what the people around them want. Like a dog that has to jump whenever its owner says jump; one will be under the command of the people around them. Without the ability to stand their ground, they are going to spend a lot of their life being thrown around like a small boat in the ocean. For Example One could be asked if they want to do something and they could end up saying yes, even though they would prefer to rest. As a result of this, they are going to be neglecting their own needs, making it hard for them to respect themselves. They are then going to be out of touch with themselves, feel even more drained, and this is bound to have a negative effect on their self-esteem. So, if this is something that takes place on a daily basis, it is going to make it more or less impossible for them to live a fulfilling life. Drawing the Line It is going to be essential for them to let go of the need to please others and to reconnect to what is taking place within therm. This will enable them to dance to the beat of their own drum, allowing them to live from their own centre. If this is how one has been for as long as they can remember, it could show that their early years were a time when they had to focus on the needs of others and to neglect their own needs. Listening to themselves and asserting who they are would have ended up being seen as something that would put their life at risk. Awareness Putting other people’s needs above their own is then going to cause them to suffer, but it will be what feels safe deep down. Unless this changes, they will continue to overextend themselves and to live a life that is not worth living. If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be necessary for them to reach out for external support. This can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
In the same way that some car journeys can be peaceful and obstacle free and some can be noisy and full of obstacles, relationships can also fall into one of these two categories. What is clear is that it is going to be far healthier for someone to be in a relationship that falls into the fist category than one that falls into the second.
Nevertheless, although there will be some people out there who are in a relationship like this; there will be others who not in a relationship like this. As a result of this, this area of someone’s life is going to either strengthen them or it is going to undermine them. Just how it is If someone is in a relationship that is generally harmonious, this might be how this area of their life has played out for as long as they can remember. And, even if they are not currently with another person, this may have been what their previous relationships were like Consequently, they might not experience gratitude for being with someone like this as it will be normal. On the other hand, if their life hasn’t always been this way, they might experience a deep sense of gratitude for how this area of their life is. Emotionally Together Someone like this is likely to have had a fairly nurturing childhood, allowing them to develop in the right way. This will then mean that they are not looking for their partner to complete them and they will most likely to be able to handle their emotions. Due to this, they will expect less from them and it will be less likely for one to lose control or to project their emotions onto them. The person they are with is likely to be in a similar position. Boundaries So, through being able to own their own emotions as opposed to projecting them onto the other, it will show that they know where they begin and end and where the other begins and ends. The outcome here is that both of them will be more likely to take responsibility for their own issues and less likely to blame or accuse the other, and this will make it easier them to work through them. At times, they might unconsciously view the other as their mother/father, but in general, this is unlikely to be how they will view the each other. There is always the chance that one of them didn’t have a healthy childhood, and this will probably show that they have done a fair amount of healing work on themselves. A Positive Association Based on the type of relationship that this person is in, it is going to show that their idea of what love is is fairly healthy. Being with someone who they feel safe around, is trustworthy, honest, reliable and respectful will be vital. Therefore, if they were to spend time with someone who is not like this, they are likely to soon lose interest. Mentally, and emotionally, this is not going to interest them, which is why they would soon walk away. Another Story If someone is not in a relationship that is harmonious, this could also be how this area has been for as long as they can remember. And, if they are single, they may have been in a number of relationships that were full of conflict and drama. After one of these relationships came to an end, they might have vowed to never go through anything like this again, only to end up in a similar relationship shortly after. In fact, this might have taken place on more than one occasion. A Rollercoaster Ride When someone like this is in a relationship, it is unlikely to be predictable or boring. They might rarely know where they stand with the other person, and this is going to give them a lot of highs and lows. One minute they could feel happy, connected and loved, and the next minute they could feel fearful, anxious and rejected/abandoned. Shouting and even fighting could be a normal part of their daily life. What Going On? If this is the only relationship that someone has ever been in that is like this, it could be put down to them being unlucky. Yet, if someone continually ends up in relationships that are like this, and is therefore, the common denominator, it is likely to show that this is what feels comfortable at a deeper level. It is then not that they randomly end up in dysfunctional relationships; it is that they are attracted to people who are unhealthy. If they were to take the time to look into what love means to them, they are likely of find that they don’t have a very healthy meaning. A Negative Association Being with someone who is unpredictable, dangerous, dishonest, untrustworthy, disrespectful and unreliable is likely to press their buttons, so to speak. This is what will allow them to experience strong attraction and turn them on. The reason why someone feels comfortable with this type of behaviour is likely to be the result of what took place during their early years. There will be at least two parts here: how they were treated and how their caregivers treated each other. Way Back This may have been a time when they were abused in some way and their caregivers may have spent a lot of time shouting and fighting each other. Their early environment would then have been very unstable, unpredictable and intense. But, although this would have been a very stressful and frightening time for them, it would have become been what was familiar, and what is familiar is what is associated as what is safe to the ego/unconscious mind. Ergo, even though this experience was extremely dysfunctional, it is will have created their inner model of what love is and what a relationship should be like. Awareness What this comes down to is that just as someone can end up being hooked on drugs or alcohol; they can also end up being hooked on people who are equally as destructive. For this to change, what is taking place within them will need to change, and this is not something that will take place overnight. With patience and persistence, along with the right support, this can happen, and this will gradually cause one to feel uncomfortable around people who are unhealthy. The assistance of a therapist or a healer is likely to be needed.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Ever since a certain film was released over a decade ago, it has resulted in a lot of people being aware of the so-called ‘law of attraction’. At its root, this law basically says that our thoughts create our reality.
So, in order for someone to create their ideal life, the only thing they will need to do is to make sure that they have the right thoughts in each moment of their life. Through focusing their mind in this way, it will only be a matter of time before their perfect life starts to materialise. A Mixed Response There appears to be plenty of people in the world who have been able to create a fulfilling life by controlling the thoughts that they have. Consequently, this has meant that they are firm believers in this law. However, while there are plenty of people who are in this position, there appears to be just as many, if not more, who are in a very different position. Trying to create a better life by only having positive thoughts might have just caused them to feel even worse than they did before they came across this law. One Outlook One way of looking at this would be to say that the main difference between these two groups of people is that one can group can focus their mind but the other group cant. Thus, if the people in the second group were able to improve their mental focus, their life would change. Another way of looking at it would be to say that there is more to this than just having the right thoughts, and that the reason the people in the first group have been successful with this law is because of how they feel about what they want to attract. In other words, not only will their thoughts be in alignment with what they want, but so will their feelings. Two Parts It is then not that someone’s thoughts create their life; this is simply a half-truth. The way for someone to make the law of attraction to work for them will then be to focus the thoughts that are in their mind and to experience the right feelings in their body. When these two forces combine, it will enable them to experience the life that they want to experience. For this to take place, someone will probably need to use a lot of willpower, and this can be incredibly tiring. Not the Answer Once their mind and body are working together in this way, they may find that it is only a matter of time before certain parts of their life start to change. The momentum will build and, after a few months have passed, it could be as though their life has been completely transformed. Then again, they may find that they are only able to have the ‘right’ thoughts and feelings for so long each day. In one moment they might feel great and then in another, after having run out of willpower, they could fall right down. A Downward Spiral They are then going to be on one side of the emotional spectrum or they will be on the other, and this is naturally going to cause them to send out mixed signals. Along with this, they can end up lambasting themselves for not being positive. There is then going to be how they feel once they fall down and there will be the negative self-talk that follows soon after. At this point, someone might wonder what their life would be like if it just flowed and they didn’t need to use so much force. Inner Conflict When someone needs to use a lot of willpower to try to experience what they desire, it can show that their unconscious mind is not on board with what their conscious mind wants. The conscious mind - the part of them that has very little power compared with their unconscious mind - is then going to try to make everything happen through force. In a way, the difference between these two minds is similar to the difference between a person who is trying to push a car up a hill and a person who is driving a car up a hill. The person trying to push the car represents the conscious mind and the person who is driving the car represents the unconscious mind. A Huge Challenge A small part of someone is then going to be trying to force a bigger, far more powerful part of them to do something. The bigger part of them will be more interested in keeping things the same than living a fulfilling life, with this part of them associating what is familiar with what is safe. On top of this, some of the things that someone wants to attract might not be in alignment with their true essence, simply being a reflection of their need to avoid how they feel, for instance. Therefore, if they felt different, they might no longer want to attract certain things, and, they might even find that their need to change their circumstances starts to disappear, allowing them to truly embrace the present moment. Awareness One way for someone to align their conscious mind with their conscious mind, or for their head and body to work together, it to heal the trauma that is within their body. This trauma is likely to be what is making it hard for them to change their life and it can be what is causing them to desire things that have no relevance to who they really are. The idea of having what we want, when we want it and feeling good all the time can be very attractive, as it appeals to the part of us that wants to avoid pain and to be the centre of the universe. Going deep within ourselves and healing our wounds is painful, but it is what will enable us to live a more fulfilling life.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
There are a number of elements that need to be in place in order for a society to not only grow, but to simply exist. For one thing, the people in the society need to have similar values, and they need to be able to stop certain parts of themselves from being expressed freely.
So, their aggression will need to be kept in check, along with their sexual desire. If this didn’t take place, it wouldn’t be possible be for a society to be ‘civilised’; its inhabitants would end up behaving more like wild animals. A Key Component What this shows is how important self-control is, and that certain emotions and impulses need to be kept under control. This doesn’t mean that there won’t be a time and a place to take care of these emotions and impulses, but that they won’t be able to express these parts of themselves whenever they feel like it. This is something that is a big part of delaying gratification, which is an essential part of a civilised society. Good things rarely happen overnight, so it will be vital for the citizenry to have the ability to be able to put their immediate needs to one side and to work towards things that will lead to greater fulfilment further down the line. Two Sides Not only will this add to their own quality of life, it will also have a positive effect on the people around them. If someone was only concerned with their immediate needs and was unable to see the big picture, it would probably have greater effect on their own life than the lives of others. This might stop them from being able to contribute anything to society, and this might mean that other people would end up having to pay for them instead. And, while a few people like this might not have much of an effect, a large group of people who are like this could start to undermine the fabric of society. A Key Area In a situation like this, it would be vital to look into what part the education system played and what their early years were like. Merely pointing the finger at people like this wouldn’t solve anything. On top of what has been mentioned above, it will be essential for men and women to get along. Naturally, this will lead to a more harmonious society, and it will be far more likely that the right amount babies will be born each year to replace the aging citizens. It’s Clear In the same way that a business needs things to sell in order to operate, a society needs people in order to exist. And just as a business will need to have certain things to sell, a society will also need to be made up of certain people. If a business is known for selling vegan food, for instance, and it starts trying to sell its customers meat instead, it would probably end up going out of business before long. Likewise, a society can’t take in an endless amount of people from other cultures and remain the same. A Flawed Approach This is one of the reasons why taking in millions of people from cultures that are radically different is not the answer to falling birth rates in the west. The only thing that this will do is gradually replace the western culture with another culture, or a number of different cultures due to the different tribes that will form. It has been said that the reason why this would take place - and is already taking place in certain countries - is because human beings are tribal. This means that even if people from different cultures could end up coming together to form one cohesive unit and disregarding the deep connection they have to their original tribe, it would probably take decades, and, the desire would also have to be there to begin with. Conflict It could be said that if the people in the western world were having more children, the people in power wouldn’t need to talk about how vital it is to bring in millions of people from other cultures. Hoverer, another challenge that the western world is currently facing is the disharmony that exists between a lot of men and women. Now, this could be seen as something that just exists between them, and that is hasn’t got anything to do with the so-called people at top. Undoubtedly, there are a lot of men and women who are carrying a lot of deep wounds, and this ends up causing them to experience conflict with the opposite sex, but, that doesn’t mean that there is not another factor involved here. Two Sources When it comes to the mainstream media, men are often demonised, and this is something that often takes place in the education system. It is then not that both men and women are flawed human beings and that make mistakes from time to time, for instance; no, it is that men are basically wild animals that need to be domesticated by women, with women being seen as superior beings. A fairly recent addition to all this is the view that a woman should be believed, regardless of whether there is any evidence to back up what she is saying. Yet, if all women are pure and innocent, and, all men are primitive and/or evil beings, then this can sound like the right thing to do. Divide and Rule There will be some men and women who are able to see through all this, even if they have their own wounds to deal with that go back to the relationship they had with their mother/father and carry baggage that was passed down from their ancestors. But while there will be plenty of people who can see through what is going on, there are going to be others who are sucked into the drama, with this being a clear sign that they are not aware of how their inner wounds are defining their reality. When a lot of men and women are busy fighting each other, it is going to mean that a lot of people are not going to be working together and solving the real problems. And, if there is so much bad feeling between them, the last thing on their mind can be to have a child/children, and even if they do, they might not be able to fully show up for the child/children that they do have. Conclusion The big question is: why would the establishment want to divide men and women and to destroy western civilisation in the process? A number of ideas could be put forward here, with some of them sounding believable and others sounding like conspiracy theories. Anyway, one of the best things that someone can do, that’s if they don’t want to add even more drama to the world, is to heal their own wounds. Ultimately, the experiences that someone has with men/women say more about what is taking place within them than they do about men/women.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
There appears to be a lot of people in today’s world who suffer from anxiety, and while this may be something that only affects certain areas of their life, it may be far more severe. When it relates to the former, there may be times when they are able to settle down and to feel at peace.
Nonetheless, when it relates to the latter, it might be hard for them to function in their day-to-day life. Due to what is taking place within them, it is going to be more or less impossible for them to settle down and to feel at peace. One Big Challenge It might not matter if they are around their close friends or if they are around people they don’t know, as they might feel equally as uncomfortable. Conversely, they may find that they are able to settle down slightly when they are around the people they know. This doesn’t mean that it will be as though they have entered a state of inner peace and harmony, but it might be a noticeable difference. Spending time around people like this is then going to be a big help. Protection So, even though this won’t be an experience that lasts for very long, it will be a welcome reprieve from how they usually feel. In addition to the time that they spend around others, there is the chance that they will prefer to avoid certain environments. What this will do is allow them to manage their anxiety better, and this is a good thing; the down side is that this will cause them to neglect a number of their other needs. Yet, through being so consumed with their need to settle themselves down, they might not even think about the rest of their needs. Isolation Along with avoiding certain places, they may end up spending a lot of time in their own company. This won’t be something that they choose to do because they like to spend time by themselves and neither will it be a way to recharge their batteries; so to speak, it will be another way for them to manage their inner world. Once again, this will stop them from being able to express themselves and from going after what they want in life. Therefore, while anxiety is not the same as fear, it is still something that will have caused them to contract as opposed to expand. Reaching Out There are, of course, numerous ways in which someone’s life can be affected when they experience high levels of anxiety, but, it is generally going to lead to a life that is not very fulfilling. Instead of making the most of the life that they have been given, they are going to be doing what they can to survive the chaos that is within them. One option would be for them to look into what they can do to change their life, while another option would be for them to continue to suffer in this way. If they have got to the point where they are no longer willing experience life in this way, they may well do something about what they are going through. A Common Approach The next step might be for them to do a search online and then to see their doctor or they may just do one of these things. If they were to do a search online, they may come to believe that the thoughts in their mind are the problem, and that this part of them needs to settle down in order for them to settle down. A visit to their doctor might cause them to come to the same conclusion, and this might result in them being referred to a cognitive behavioural therapist. Either way, their mind will be seen as the area that they need to focus on. The Answer Through monitoring their thoughts and changing the thoughts that they do have, along with breathing deeply, for example, their life may start to change. They may also be advised to meditate, too. At the same time, one could try this approach (or a similar approach) and it might not have much of an effect on how they feel. In this case, it might be a good idea for them to take their attention away from what is going on in their head and to take a closer look at what is going on in their body. A Deeper Look By taking this approach, it will give them the opportunity to find out of if their body is playing a part in what is going on. What they may find is that the reason they experience so much anxiety is due to the fact that they have been living in their head and not their body. If they were able to settle into their body and to get out of their head, they might be able to feel at peace. However, what can stop them from being able to get back into their body and to no longer live in their head is trauma. Two Parts The pain that is in their body can be what pushes them out of it, and, what is taking place within them can play a big part in how they perceive the world. In other words, what is taking place within them will end up being projected onto the external word, thereby causing them to be victimised by their own wounds. Therefore, for as long as they are carrying this trauma within them, it won’t be possible for them to stay in their body or to perceive the world differently. There may have been a time in their adult life when they felt completely overwhelmed or they may have felt this way all through their childhood years. A Defence Mechanism If this was how they felt during the beginning of their life, it may be a sign that they were abused and/or neglected. This would then have been a time when they had to leave their body in order avoid the pain that was within them and to be on alert to the danger that was around them – it wouldn’t have been safe for them to be in their body. The alternative would have been for them to stay with this pain, which would have been too much for them to handle. A number of years would then have passed since that time in their life, but, they will be behaving as though it is still not safe for them to be in their body and that they need to be hypervigilant in case anything bad happens. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they want to transform their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Boundaries: Do Some Peoples Childhoods Stop Them From Being Able to Feel Safe In Their Body?1/10/2018
Although every human being on the planet has a head and a body, it doesn’t mean that each and everyone one of them feel connected to both of these parts of themselves. It may be hard for some people to understand how someone can be out of touch with a part of themselves, but, this is how some people are operating on this planet.
In this case, someone is not going to be a whole human being; they will be, in the words of R.D. Laing, a divided human being. And when it comes to this disconnection, the part that someone is likely to be out of touch with is their own body. A Survival Mechanism The body is where pain is experienced, so when there is a lot of pain experienced here someone can end up leaving their body. This will be a way for them to stop themselves from being overwhelmed. So, in the same way that someone can leave an environment that isn’t safe; they can also leave their body when they don’t feel safe. And, in the same way that it will be essential for the person in an unsafe environment to soon find somewhere else and to settle down, it will be important for one to gradually get back in touch with their body. Up and Then Down This doesn’t mean that they will just be able to get out of their head and fall back into their body, though. As to how long it will take for them to reconnect with their body and to feel at home there can depend on what caused them to leave their body to begin with. If, let’s say, they were walking home one night and heard a loud noise, they may find that it doesn’t take them long to settle down shortly after. They may find that they are able to be with how they feel and to gradually integrate the experience. A Different Scenario However, if someone violated their boundaries in some way, causing them to feel completely overwhelmed, it might take a little while for them to settle down into their body again. Until that time, they could find that it is normal for them to be in their head and, therefore, to feel on edge. This could mean that they were physically attacked, for instance, and this would have been a big shock to their system. Ever so, with the right support and a way to resolve the trauma that they experienced, there is no reason why they can’t reconnect with their body and to feel safe enough to stay there. In Tune Once someone is back in touch with their body and no longer trapped in their head, they will be able to connect to their feelings and needs. This will give them the ability to know what they want and what they don’t want, and to know if another person is trying to walk over them, amongst other things. Through having this connection to themselves and feeling safe in their body, it will be a lot easier for them to live a life that is worth living, to feel at peace, and to live in the moment. And while they will be times when they will meet others people’s needs, they won’t be interested in pleasing others. A Different Reality When someone doesn’t have this connection with themselves, it is going to be normal for them to live in their head. As a result of this, they are likely to find it hard to connect with their needs and feelings. In general, what is taking place in their body can be a mystery, and this may mean that they look towards other people to tell them what do to. Through being out of touch with the guidance that is in their body, they will be reliant on the external world for guidance. An Act This can cause one to come across as easy going and subservient, or they can come cross as though they have it altogether. Nevertheless, the way in which they come across will have very little to do with who they actually are. Their main priority will be to please others; expressing who they really are is not going to be on their mind. Consequently, so much of their energy will be spent trying to please others and worrying about whether or not they have, making it hard for them to relax and to feel at ease. Reconnecting If they were able to get out of their head and to connect to their body, they may find that they feel incredibly vulnerable. One could then come to believe that this is because it is not safe for them to in their body and to relax, and that they need to be on alert at all times. Being focused on what is going on around them is then going to be a way for them to try to make sure that bad things don’t happen to them. The primary way for them to do this will be to please others. A Deeper Look There may have been a time in their life whet it wasn’t safe for them to just be, and this is then why they are unable to be this way now. Yet, if one is not aware of what took place, they can believe that this is just how life is. In reality, they will be projecting the past onto the present, and not only will this cause them to perceive their life in a certain way, it will also cause them to attract people who will remind them of their past. During their early years, they may have been brought up by at least one caregiver who was unable to give them what they needed to grow and develop. A Dangerous Environment This person may have been emotionally volatile and abusive, causing them to feel as though their world was about to end at any moment. Therefore, they wouldn’t have felt safe enough to be in their body; what would have felt safe was being in their head (or dissociated from themselves) and on alert, ready to spot any danger that may arise. Doing what they could to try to please this person would then have been their priority, meaning that they had to lose touch with their true-self. Additionally, there would have been the trauma that built up in their body. Awareness Their early years wouldn’t have been a time when they received what they needed to develop in the right way; it would have been a time when they had to do everything they could to survive. If someone can relate to this, and they want to change how they experience life, they may need to reach out for external support. This can take place with the assistance of therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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