Critical Thinking: Why Is It Hard For Some People To Accept That Their Government Lies To Them?31/3/2020
There are those that not only believe that their government, along with other governments around the world, would lie to them but who also have the evidence to back it up. This is then not going to be something that has just happened once; it will be something that takes place on a regular basis.
Someone like this could talk about what has happened in the past, laying down a number of instances when this has happened. In addition to talking about when this has taken place in their country; they can give examples of when this has happened in other countries. A Mixed Response If they were to speak freely about what they know, they are likely to find there are at least three types of people. Firstly, there are those that agree with them, secondly, those that are unsure, and thirdly, those that completely dismiss what they have to say. The first two types of people are unlikely to leave the same mark on them as the third type of people. When they have shared what they know with these types of people, they may have often been labelled as a conspiracy theorist and/or someone who is basically crazy. A Strange Scenario One may have shared what they know, and even given sources that back up what they believe, only to be treated like they have a screw loose and should be locked away. It is then not that one will have looked deeply into what is going on and found evidence; no, it is that they are someone who is delusional and believes in fantasies. Ultimately, when one opens up to someone who can’t even entertain, let alone accept, that their government would lie to them, they are going to be wasting their precious energy. It will be far better for them to save their energy and to direct somewhere else, somewhere where it can be put to good use. The Ideal Scenario When someone is unable to consider the idea that their government would lie to them, it could be said that they are the perfect citizen. Let’s face it; the last thing that a government would want is for the citizenry to be aware of their misdeeds. And when someone like this person says this to another person that has looked deeper, and even tries to silence them, they will be unknowingly supporting what their government is doing. This won’t occur to them, though, because they won’t have taken the time to look a little deeper into what is going on. The Desire It would be easy to say that those that are not aware of the kinds of things that their government does are not intelligent. But this would be an oversimplification, and it would create the impression that those that do look deeper are intelligent. Rather than it being about how intelligent someone is, it would probably be more accurate to say that it often comes down to whether or not the desire to find out the truth is there or not. There are those that are highly intelligent but that don’t have this desire and those that are not exceptionally intelligent that do. Two Parts When it comes to what gives someone the desire to find out what is true and what isn’t and who doesn’t simply accept what the mainstream media tells them, it is hard to say. Perhaps they were born this way or perhaps something happened to them to make them this way. Another thing that is bound to play a part is the relationship that someone has with their own emotions. This is not to say that those that are interested in what is true and what isn’t, have a very healthy relationship with their emotions. Opening Pandora’s Box However, if someone is unable to accept that their government would lie to them, and has done for a very long time, it can show that it is due to what they are not willing to face within themselves. In other words, if they were to accept this, what would it bring up to the surface of their mind? What it could bring up is feelings that they have avoided for a very long time; feelings that are too painful for them to face. Not questioning what is going on is then not so much about them not believing that the government would lie; it is more about them keeping certain feelings, feelings that they are probably not even consciously aware of, at bay. Going Deeper In some cases, someone could unconsciously perceive the government as a parental figure, someone that is there to take care of them. Through seeing them in this way, even if they are not aware of it, it allows them to experience a false sense of safety and security. Perhaps their early years were not very nurturing or stable, hence why they expect so much from the government. Ergo, if they were to see that this parental figure was not who they made themselves out to be it could bring up some of their early wounds. A Defence Maintaining the illusion that they have created is then going to be essential, that’s if they are to avoid what is taking place inside them. If they were to let go of this illusion, they could end up being in a bad way and even falling apart. The trouble is that through needing to keep all this pain at bay, it stops them from being able to accept what is going on. To use an analogy: their experience is very similar to someone who is unable to face up to the fact that their partner is cheating, thanks to what it would end up triggering inside them. Conclusion What this illustrates is how someone’s inner world can prevent them from being able to see what is often right in front of them. Thus, when it comes to thinking critically, having a certain level of emotional intelligence is important.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
0 Comments
If you were to take a step back and to reflect on your life, you may find that there are a number of things that you are not too happy about. In addition to this, you could find that you spend a fair amount of time thinking about these areas.
What this is then going to mean is that a fair amount of your emotional energy will be directed towards these things. You could see that this is something that has been going on for a fair amount of time. Different Issue, Same Approach And, if there are a few things that have only just started to annoy you, you could still find that there are other things that have been annoying you for a while. Simply doing this exercise and thinking about these areas could get you worked up. Also, what you may see is that some of these areas have got even worse as time has passed and this has caused you to experience an even stronger reaction to them. But even if this isn’t the case, their mere existence could still be enough to greatly annoy you. Out of Your Hands With what is going on, you may believe that there is nothing that you can do to change one area of your life or a number of areas of it. What is going on ‘out there’ will be the problem and it will be out of your hands. However, while it may appear to be this way, it doesn’t mean that you are merely a passive observer. Now, clearly you are not consciously asking for what is going on to continue. The Key Point This doesn’t matter, though, and this is because your mind, along with the universe, doesn’t understand negation. So while consciously you are sending out a clear message of what you don’t want, you have still been focusing on what you don’t want. The mental and emotional energy that you feed into what you don’t want is then what is keeping it alive and allowing it to have such a big impact on your life. It might be hard to accept this at first, but think about what this means for you. You Have a Choice After hearing this, you might feel angry about what I have said or you might internalise this anger and feel down. But, if you think about what this means, you are likely to see that you are not a powerless victim. If you have been unknowingly feeding into the thing or things that you don’t want, it means that you can do something about them. You can begin to take your energy (power) back and to direct it towards the things that you do want. Stay With It It is unlikely that you will be able to do this overnight, and this is because part of you can still have a strong attachment to what you don’t want, even though you will know that this is not serving you. In a way, it will be like you are weaning yourself off of an addictive substance. Your mind will be hooked and this is why this is a process that will take patience and persistence. Nonetheless, you will be aware of what is going on and this will allow you to change; whereas, without this awareness, this wouldn’t be possible. How Can I Serve You? You will have taken the first step and now it will be in your best interest to carry on. If you need additional support right now, one of the ways that I can provide this is for you is through the personalised consultations that I offer via Skype or Zoom. If you would like to know more, please go to – www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/consultations. If you are committed to your own healing, it would be an honour to assist you on your journey.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Emotionally Frozen: Can Someone Become Emotionally Frozen If They Experienced Trauma As A Child?29/3/2020
Now, although someone will have a head and a body, it doesn’t mean that they will find it easy to connect to what is taking place in their body. This doesn’t mean that they won’t be able to connect to the sensations in their body; no, what it means is that it can be hard for them to connect to how they feel.
In general, it could seem as though they are emotionally dead and simply don’t have emotions. As a result of this, they could typically feel numb and even ‘dead’ inside, with this being how they have been for as long as they can remember. Emotionally Flat If they were to look back on their life and to reflect on what it has been like, they could find that they have often felt low and even depressed. And when it comes to the feelings that they do experience, these could be: anger, frustration and a general sense of despair. During the moments when they have been able to experience a sense of aliveness, this may have come when they have consumed something. Through artificial means, then, it will have been possible for them to feel more whole. Disposition When it comes to how they approach life, they are likely to be someone who relies on their intellect to guide them. Other people could typically describe them as someone who is rational or very logical. Along with this, others could say that they are very heady, lack emotion, and are cold, for instance. Thus, the type of feedback that they receive is not always going to be positive and life-affirming. A Huge Challenge As for the people that are in their life, one may find that they don’t feel close to any of them. This is not much of a surprise considering that they don’t have a good connection with their emotional self – the part of them that would allow this to take place. In addition to this challenge, one is likely to find it hard to feel connected to anything. Once again, the part of them that would allow this to take place will generally be out of their reach. Both Ways One will then be used to feeling disconnected from their emotions and disconnected from life itself. This is likely to be anything but pleasant, and they may have thought about ending it all at least once. Experiencing life in this way is going to make it hard for them to not only feel alive but to feel powerful. In fact, they might believe that they have very little control over their life and the direction that it takes. What Is Going On? After reflecting on what is going on, and they may have a highly developed ability to reflect, they could find it hard to comprehend why they are like this. They could believe that there is something inherently wrong with them, or believe that they were born this way. If they do believe the former or the latter, or both, there is going to be very little that they can do about what is going on. The only thing that they will be able to do is to accept what is taking place and to put up with it for the rest of their time on this earth. Another Angle The question is: what if one is this way because they were extremely traumatised during their early years and shutting down was the only way for them to survive what took place? If this is the case, there is nothing inherently wrong with them and they were not born this way either. Many years will have passed since this stage of their life, but what took place won’t be fully behind them. Being emotionally numb or frozen will have caused them problems - that much is crystal clear - yet this will be their body and minds way of stopping them from being overwhelmed by all of the arousal that is held in their body. A Massive Build-Up To use an analogy; it will be as though there was water at one end of a floor and if it got to the other end, it would end up coming into electric cables and causing a lot of problems. To stop this from happening, the water ended up turning into ice, thereby stopping the water from going anywhere. In the same way, as their body shut down, it would have stopped their feelings from entering their psyche. While this would have set them up to become a divided human being (as R. D. Laing would have said), it kept them alive. Breaking Through To break through this frozenness, one will most likely have to work through many, many defences. They are not going to be working through anything physical but it can seem as though they are. The main survival response that will keep this disconnection in place can be the freeze response. Underneath this response will be all of the feelings that they experienced throughout their early years. A Closer Look There probably won’t just be one freeze response to get out of the way either; it is likely that there will be many of these responses to clear. Under this response can be rage, panic, terror, helplessness, and powerlessness, amongst other things. There can also be the feeling that they are going to die, and this will reflect how horrific this time of their life was. If they can only connect to feelings and not memories, it could be a sign that what took place happened before their brain was developed enough to remember. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they will probably need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Nowadays, it is not uncommon for the term ‘fear of intimacy’ to be thrown around. In general, it is more likely that someone will use this term to describe another person than to describe themselves.
One reason for this is that it is usually easier for someone to spot this in other than it is for them to spot it in themselves. This comes down to the fact that they will have a mind that causes them to see themselves as merely an observer of their life, as opposed to a co-creator of it. A Hurdle As a result of this, someone can endlessly attract people that are not emotionally available and not take a step back to see if they are playing a part in what is going on. These people will be at fault, with them having no control over what is playing out. There may be times when this allows them to feel better, and even more evolved, than these people, but it is likely to cause them to feel totally powerless when it comes to this area of their life. For them to change their life, it will be essential for them to take a step back and to see what part they are playing in what is going on. The Meaning Anyway, when this term is used, it is going to mean that someone fears getting emotionally close to another person. Therefore, while they will be able to share both their mind and their body with another human being, that will be about as far as it will go. Opening their heart and emotionally connecting to another person (forming an emotional bond with them) will be a challenge. They might not be able to do this or, if it does happen, they could soon end up shutting down (even more) and/or pulling away. One Experience Now, if someone does respond in this way when they get close to another, it doesn’t mean that they are aware of what is going on. If this happens, then, they could believe that the other person is overly needy and smothering or that they are just not into the other person. So, if they have had this experience take place on a number of occasions, they could believe that people are too needy or that they are not made to have relationships that are too deep. In both cases, it will show that they lack self-knowledge and, as things stand, they won’t have the self-awareness to attain it. Another Experience For someone else, someone who wants to have a deeper relationship with another person, they could struggle to understand why they end up shutting down and/or feel the need to get away. They might also find that it is hard to emotionally connect to them from the outset. If they were to look into what is going on, they could come to the conclusion that they have a fear of intimacy and they might even believe that there is something wrong with their ability to emotionally connect to another person. After this, they could look into what they can do to let go of this fear of intimacy. Going Deeper This could just be a fear that they can let go of by changing their thinking and questioning what they believe, for instance. Then again, simply changing what is taking place in their mind (up top) might not be suffice. The reason for this is that what is taking place in their body (down below) could be playing a big part in how they currently experience life. Said another way, there is a strong chance that they are carrying trauma. Connecting the Dots If they are unable to remember a time in their life when they felt overwhelmed and as though they had no control, it could show that they experienced trauma very early on. Not being able to remember what took place will be due to at least two reasons. Firstly, they may have been too young to remember it and, secondly, their mind may have blocked out what took place in order to protect them. And, how they feel could even relate to how they felt whilst there were in their mother’s womb – as outlandish as this may sound. A Closer Look If they experienced early trauma, it may show that they had at least one caregiver who was unable to provide them with the attunement that they needed whilst they were a baby. Consequently, they may have regularly felt smothered and trapped by their attention and as though they were going to be annihilated (to die). Consequently, or along with this, they may have also experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. In both cases, their boundaries would have been violated and shutting down would have been the only way for them to handle the pain that they were in. The Body Remembers The years will have passed but how they felt all those years ago will have remained inside them. Getting close to another person will unconsciously remind them of what happened when they were younger. The early arousal will be triggered and once again, shutting down and/or pulling away will be a way for them to handle it. This trauma will make it more or less impossible for them to stay emotionally present and to deeply connect to another person. Awareness The experiences that they had as a child will also have affected their ability to trust and to feel comfortable with being vulnerable. Ultimately, what they fear has already happened but as they are still in a traumatised state, they are unable to move on from what happened and to realise that they survived what took place. Dealing with all this arousal will be essential if one is to ever have a deep and fulfilling relationship with another person. When it comes to working with this arousal, the assistance of a therapist or a healer will probably be needed.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
When I look back on my life, I can see that my healing journey began in 2003 when I met my first mentor. This was a woman who I would go on to study with for a number of years.
During our time together, I would go on study Reiki healing and NLP. It wasn’t just the qualifications that I picked up that made the difference, though; it was having the opportunity to spend time with someone who understood me, didn’t think I was strange and listened to what I had to say. Lessons Learned This was a long time ago but I remember those moments clearly, perhaps this is because this was the first person I met on the path. I can also remember all of the other mentors and healers that I have worked with since that time. Thanks to all the experiences that I have had so far, there is a lot that I have picked up along the way. Looking back, I can see that there have been a number of challenges that I have had to overcome in order to move forward. Mapping It Out So, what I would like to share with you are some of the challenges that you may encounter whilst you are on your healing journey. Ultimately, these are things that can slow you down and stop you from living a fulfilling life. What I can say is that if I knew about all of these things in the beginning, I would have certainly gone down a different route. At the same time, if my life had been different, I might not be able to share anything like this. Number One At the start of your healing journey, you may feel the need to tell just about everyone you know about what you are going through and what you are learning. To have the desire to reach out to others is the normal, healthy thing to do. However, although there will be people that will be happy to listen to what you have to say and to support you, there can be those that are unable to do so. There can be a number of reasons as to why this is but it will be important for you to not take what happens personally. Number Two Another thing that you may hear from people, even those that have your best interests at heart, is that you just need to let go and to put the past behind you. Another way of looking at this would be to say that some people will invalidate your experience. Someone like this won’t understand what you are going through and they won’t be interested in putting themselves in your shoes, for whatever reason. Again, keep in mind that this is not personal, and allow experiences like this to teach you discernment, so you know who deserves to hear about what you are going through and who can truly be there for you. Number Three If you focus solely on your healing and neglect other areas of your life, you are likely to find that you feel even worse. What this comes down to is that what we focus on grows, which is why it will be vital for you to be mindful of where your attention goes. I know only too well that this can be incredibly hard, especially if your emotions are all over the place. If this is the case, do what you can to nourish the areas of your life that bring you happiness and fulfilment. Number Four Since working on your inner baggage by yourself and/or with external support, you may find that you feel worse than you did before. This can simply put down to the fact that you are facing what you have overlooked for however long, so it is to be expected that you will feel worse off – at least in the short-term. At the same time, if you find that you continue to feel worse and that nothing really changes, it could show that you need to try another approach. The reason for this is that certain techniques/therapies will cause you to become more attached to your story and make it even harder for you to actually move forward. Number Five What this last point brings into focus is that to your ego-mind, what is familiar is what is classed as what is safe. The negative feelings that you experience, for instance, that you want to let go off can be associated as what is safe. Therefore, while you will consciously want to move on from them, another part of your being will want to hold onto them. The reason that this point is connected to the one before, then, is that if you are not aware of this, you can unknowingly engage in things that fulfil your ego-minds need to hold on but not your need to let go. Number Six Lastly, there something called the healing paradox and this means that the more you want to heal, the harder it can be for you to heal. To me, this comes down to the fact that what is resisted is what will persist. Thus, while it is a good thing that you are taking reasonability for your own wounds and want to let them go, keep in mind that getting too attached to this will most likely hold you back. As I touched upon in point three, it will be essential for you to be aware of what you focus on and what you emotionally feed into. How Can I Serve You? There are a number of other points that I could have gone into but this has given you a number of things to consider when it comes to your healing journey. If you need additional support right now, one of the ways that I can provide this is for you is through the personalised consultations that I offer via Skype or Zoom. If you would like to know more, please go to – www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/consultations. If you are committed to your own healing, it would be an honour to assist you on your journey.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
There are people on this planet that have no interest in controlling anyone or anything, while there are those that want to control everyone and everything. Thus, some people will be at one end of the spectrum and some will be at the other end.
At the same time, it is likely that just about everyone has had at least one moment when they have been controlling. What this comes down to is that there are times when just about everyone acts out of character. The Trigger There are a whole host of reasons as to why someone who isn’t usually controlling would end up being controlling. For example, someone could experience a lot of fear and react to a situation. In this moment, they will have been at the whim of their instincts; thereby causing them to do something that they wouldn’t usually do. Still, shortly after this has taken place, they could try to make amends by acknowledging what has happened and apologising. The Other Side Along with this, it is likely that just about everyone on this planet has come into contact with at least one person that was controlling. And if this isn’t the case for someone, they might have come across someone in the public eye that is. Interestingly, those that fit this profile can often be found in the public eye in some shape or form. This would make sense, considering that people like this are often given a lot of control. The Ones at the Top In some cases, the person who is in control of a country can be a total control freak. Someone like this is then just going to be a human being, but they can see themselves as some kind of deity. And although people like this are often in control of countries that a lot of people probably won’t have heard of, let alone know the location of, this is not always so. Nonetheless, when someone like this is in control of a country (or appears to be as they are usually just a figurehead), they can wield their power in a more subtle manner. A Relationship When this is the case, this person is naturally going to come under fire by both the citizenry and the media. Yet, what is rarely mentioned is why a country would end up with someone like this at the top. At a conscious level, most people would say that they don’t want someone like this in power. This may be so, the question is: what unconscious needs does someone like this fulfil? Back To the Main Point So, regardless of whether someone is telling the people around them what to do or a whole nation, they are going to be acting in a controlling manner. One is a mini tyrant and the other can be close to a full-blown tyrant. Someone like this is not going to be able to see others as sovereign human beings; they will simply be objects for them to use however they choose. Ultimately, it won’t be possible for them to truly accept that other people are individuals and that they have absolutely no right to control them. The Missing Part Their behaviour is going to be having a negative effect on others, but that is unlikely to be something that fazes them. What this could also illustrate is that their ability to empathise with others has been compromised. In other words, they can be strongly connected to their head and weakly connected to their heart. As a result of this, they will be able to treat other people in this way without feeling bad or as though they are doing anything wrong. Fulfilling a Need Behaving in this way won’t do much for others but it will certainly do a lot for them; if it didn’t, there would be no need for them to behave in this way. By behaving in this way, they are likely to feel powerful. Yet, if they were to stop behaving in this way, there is a strong chance that they would end up coming into contact with feelings that would cause them to feel extremely powerless. What this shows is that their inner world is not a place that supports them; it is somewhere that undermines them. What’s going on? In order for them to experience a sense of control, they will need to stay disconnected from themselves and to control others. Ergo, living on the surface of themselves - being disembodied - will be essential. Now, it is unlikely that they were simply born this way; there is likely to be a reason why they are this way. To shed light on why this is, it will be necessary to look into what took place during their early years. Back In Time During this stage of their life, they might not have received the type of care that they needed to be able to develop in the right way. Instead, they may have been abused and/or neglected on a regular basis. This would then have been a time in their life when they felt extremely helpless and powerless. The only way for them to handle these feelings would have been to leave their body and to disconnect from themselves. Awareness Many years will have passed since this stage of their life, but the trauma that they experienced will have stayed inside them. Unless this is dealt with, it is unlikely that they will be able to change their behaviour. If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Due to the contagion, there is what is taking place externally and then, there is what is taking place internally. Also, in the same way that there will be people that are more affected by what is taking place externally than others; there will also be people that are more affected by what is taking place internally than others.
When it comes to the former, there will be those that can work from home and those that can’t. Additionally, there will be those that are able to see family members and those that are unable to do so. Different Experiences What this illustrates is that not everyone is going to be impacted in the same way. So without even going into what the contagion will or won’t do, there are all of the other elements that are at play during this time. When it comes to the latter, there will be those that are feeling very unstable right now and those that aren’t. Naturally, those that are feeling unstable are going to be the ones that are more affected by their inner world than others. Two Ways And how someone feels on the inside is also going to affect how they perceive what is going on externally. Taking this into account, someone is not simply observing what is going on and then having an emotional experience that is purely based on what is taking place. What they see and what they experience is going to be heavily influenced by what is taking place inside them. This is why it has been said that perception is reality or to quote Anaïs Nin - 'We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.' A Vital Point Therefore, while what is taking place is not something that should be ignored, it doesn’t mean that someone is completely powerless at this time. Still, if their emotions are totally out of control and this is causing them to spend a lot of time consuming what the mainstream media is selling, along with listening to friends and family that are all at sea emotionally, they probably won’t realise this. Instead of feeling like a strong and capable adult, they could feel like a helpless and incapable child. And just as a child will look to someone else to make everything better, through being in this state, they could also look towards someone else – perhaps the government – to make everything better. Emasculated One’s ability to think critically will no longer be there and their emotional strength won’t be available either. If, then, there is at least one hidden agenda during this time, one won’t be in a position to notice it. But, without even going down that route, their inner world will make it harder for them to adapt to what is taking place. Not only this, they could end up squandering the free time they that may have. Compromised Naturally, this is a time when someone will want to be as healthy as they can be and to have a strong immune system. Nonetheless, if they are loaded up with fear and allow this fear to grow by endlessly watching the Mainstream media, they may find that their immune system starts to be negatively affected. What this emphasises is that while staying up to date can help, it is also possible to go too far - the dose makes the poison. Yet, if someone is being controlled by their emotions and instincts, this is not something that is likely to occur to them. Back In the Driver’s Seat For someone like this, it is going to be in their best interests to get their emotions back under control and to use the time that they may have more productively. To do this, it would be easy to say that they need to learn how to ‘control’ their emotions. The trouble with this outlook is that it creates the impression that emotions are things that can literally be controlled. So just like one might control their thoughts, they will control their emotions in the same way. A Short-Term Solution This is a very mental way of looking at it, and it is partly based on the view that one’s thoughts control their feelings. Now, while their thoughts can create their feelings, they can also trigger feelings that are already inside them. Using the mind over emotions approach can just create more frustration and, even if it does work and doesn’t cause one to become emotionally disconnected in the process, the feelings that one pushes out of their conscious mind can just end up coming back later on. And when they do come back, they can come back with an even greater intensity thanks to all the force that was used to keep them down. More to It The reason their emotions and instincts are out of control could be because they are carrying trauma. Furthermore, it could show that they are nutritionally deficient and are not getting enough sleep. With that aside, the trauma that they are carrying could relate to what has taken place in their adult life and/or go back to their early years. If it relates to what happened when they were very small, their conscious mind might have no recollection of what took place; even so, their whole being will still carry the impact of what took place. Final Thoughts Working through this trauma is going to be imperative. This will allow one to take back control of themselves and then to behave in a way that will serve them in both the short-term and the long-term. There is a lot of free information online about what one can do to clear their trauma, as well as numerous therapists and healers that can provide additional support. It all starts with taking the first step.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
For a long time now, the world has been moving forward and it seemed as though nothing could stop it. Now, though, due to the coronavirus, the world is rapidly coming to a standstill.
Of course, the world was moving before and it is still moving now; what has changed is that a lot of the people have been forced to change their behaviour. In just a matter of weeks, so much has changed. Totally Unexpected If the average person was told this time last year that, in a year’s time, the world would be like it is now, they would probably laugh. They might describe the person saying this as crazy or even a conspiracy theorist. Ultimately, they would have been told something that seemed highly unlikely. But if they didn’t dismiss what they heard, what may have come to mind is that it would have been to due to terrorism or perhaps a war. A Different Life So instead of getting up and going to work shortly after, so many people will get up and be unable to do what they would usually do. Some people might be able to work remotely but this won’t be the case for everyone. Additionally, a greater number of people won’t be able to see friends or family, or to go to the gym or to attend social gatherings. Being in lockdown, as hard as it is, is a way to stop the contagion from spreading. A New Life A lot of people will then have gone from being practically always on the go, to not being able to do any of the things that they would usually do. Naturally, this is going to be a massive shock to their system. It can be as though they are under house arrest, and that their freedom has been taken away from them. For some of these people, it could be as if their identity has been stripped away from them. Up To the Surface And as so many people are no longer able to behave in the same way, it can result in them coming into contact with things that they have kept at bay for quite some time. What this means is that the parts of themselves that they have pushed down into their unconscious mind/body can start to come into their conscious mind. The busyness that allowed them to avoid themselves for so long will have fallen away. This is not to say that there is no longer a way out, however, as there is all of the ‘entertainment’ that is available online and on TV to take someone away from themselves again. Two Choices Taking this into account, someone in this position can either look for ways to distract themselves from themselves or they can start to face themselves head-on. If they opt for the former, they are unlikely to be doing themselves any favours in the long-run. Instead of using this time to reconnect to themselves, to connect to their true needs and to no longer live a life that is based on avoidance, they will be choosing to waste it. When all the dust settles in a matter of months or however long it will be, it will be business as usual; that’s if the world hasn’t radically changed. The Alternative If, on the other hand, they opt for the latter, they will be able to use this time to connect to who they really are and to let go of the distractions. In the short-term, this option is likely to be a lot harder than the former. But then, if it was easy for someone to face themselves, there would be no reason for them to avoid themselves to begin with. And, for so long, one would have lived in a society that made it incredibility easy for them to avoid themselves. The Button Has Been Pressed One way to understand this would be to imagine that society was one big treadmill, where it was hard for someone to stop, to be and to simply reflect. Due to this contagion, the treadmill has now been switched off and now that it is slowing down, a lot of what was pushed down is slowly coming up. If, then, one was to take the time to be with themselves, they may find that they come into contact with thoughts, feelings and sensations that they haven’t experienced for a very long time. All this inner ‘material’ could be overwhelming, with them having a strong need to eat or to watch something, for instance. Know Thyself And as what is taking place inside them is so intense, it can cause them to be more affected by what is taking place externally. What is taking place externally will be triggering what is taking place inside them, thereby making it harder for them to stay centred and to be present. Having this understanding will allow one to see that they have control over how they feel and that they are not merely at the mercy of what is taking place around them. What this illustrates is how important both self-awareness and self-knowledge is. Final Thoughts If someone does face themselves but doesn’t know how to deal with what comes up, it will be essential for them to look into what they can do work through their inner baggage. Fortunately, there is a lot of information online that will shed light on this.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
What can’t be denied is that everyone on this planet is going to die at one point or another. Thus, to say this is not being ‘negative’, it is simply stating something that is part of the human experience.
This doesn’t mean that someone should endlessly think about the fact that they will die. Nonetheless, thinking about this from time to time can help one to live in a way that is in alignment with who they truly are and not to waste time. No Rush If someone lived forever, it would probably be hard for them to appreciate anything. This is similar to how it can be hard for one to appreciate something if they have more or less always had it. Along with this, they would most likely become numb to life and lose interest in the life that they had been given. On the plus side, they could attain a lot of wisdom that could be passed down to others. One Experience So, even though endlessly thinking about death is not going to serve someone, there are going to be people in the world that are consumed by it. When this is the case, someone might not just think about it, they can also feel as though it is going to happen. This could be something that takes place at least once a day or it could take place a few times a week, for instance. It is then not that they will die at some point in the future; it is something that is about to happen. A Hellish Existence To live in this way is going to be anything but enjoyable, and one could wonder if their life will ever change. For quite some time, they could have been at the point where they no longer want to live in the same way or to live at all. If their life has been this way for as long as they can remember, it doesn’t mean that they will have an idea as to why it is this way. What could come to mind is that they were simply born this way. Very Tiring One of the reasons why living in this way is going to be such a challenge is because they will be used to living in fight or flight mode. Whenever they feel as though they are going to die, their survival brain will kick it. When this happens, their body will be filled with adrenalin, causing them to breathe rapidly, their heart rate to increase, and for them to have heightened senses, amongst other things. At other times, their body could freeze up (the freeze response) and they could dissociate. Endless Stress If they are able to settle down, then, it might not be long until they are soon on edge. There is also the chance that they are unable to settle down, with them either being on edge or feeling burnt out. Each of the survival responses that they go into has a purpose; the trouble is that they are going into these too easily and too often. It is only natural that this is going to have a negative effect on their whole being. A Normal Week When they feel as though they are going to die, it could be due to a number of reasons. If they were to have a disagreement with someone or asserted themselves, they could feel as though their life is under threat. They could be next to someone who acting aggressively and they could soon fear for their life. If they were to pay a lot of attention to the mainstream media, this is something that could take place whenever they watch or listen to this source of information. A Deeper Look If one was to look back on what took place during their early years, they might not be able to remember what took place. Then again, they could remember that this time in their life was very traumatic. What this may illustrate is that this was a time when they were abused and/or neglected. At a time in their life when they were dependent, powerless and extremely vulnerable, their small body and developing brain would have been put under enormous stress. Defenceless Day after day, year after year, they would have felt that their life was going to come to an end. It would have been like being in a warzone, except that one wouldn’t have had any way of getting away from what was taking place. Of course, they would have been able to leave their body and to freeze up, but they still had to experience what was going on. Taking all this into account, it is not a surprise that they continually feel like they are going to die now that they are an adult. Stuck In The Past What took place is now over, which means that one survived what took place. However, the reason why one is unable to see that this is the case and that this stage of their life is now over is due to the trauma that they are carrying. The emotional flashbacks that they have are what are causing them to perceive life in the same way and to feel powerless and helpless as a result. For their life to change, it will be essential for them to deal with this emotional pain. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they will probably need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
It has been said that the more in control someone feels, the better their mental and emotional health will be. This is not to say that someone needs to be a total control freak and to control everyone and everything in order to be in a good place.
What it comes down to is that when one has a sense of control and can see that they have an effect on their life, it will have a positive effect on their wellbeing. It is not exactly hard to comprehend why this would be so. One Experience When one feels as though they have control over their life, there will be the effect it has on their mood, as was said above, and there will be the impact that it has on their behaviour. If they feel the need to do or to achieve something, they won’t need to ignore what is taking place inside them. Thanks to how they feel, then, they will be able to pay attention to their needs and to go about fulfilling them. This doesn’t mean that they will be able to fulfil every need that they have, but at the same time, they won’t be in a position where their needs generally go unmet. Drawing the Line If there is an area of their life that is not going well or someone is not treating them with respect, they will believe that they can do something about it. After all, they have control. And if they are unable to do something about what is taking place, they could exercise their control by voting with their feet, as Stuart Wilde would say. This means that they will walk away and direct their energy elsewhere. In Balance One is not going to have absolute control, yet they will have control over what they do and how they respond to what takes place in their life. Perhaps one has always been like this or maybe, this is a relatively new way of being. Either way, what is taking place inside them, along with how they respond to life, is going to serve them. They may find that they very rarely get angry or feel down, due to the outlook that they typically have. Another Experience When one seldom experiences a sense of control and believes that they don’t have an effect on their life, it is naturally going to have a negative effect on their mood. Their behaviour is typically likely to reflect how they see themselves. In general, they could behave in a very passive manner; not taking action or going for what they want. And if they are treated badly, they could just put up with it in most cases. No Choice From the outside, it could seem strange as to why they don’t just change their behaviour and embrace the life that they have been given. Yet, based on what is going on for them, simply tolerating what is going on will be seen as the only option that is available to them. Their life won’t be fulfilling but they won’t believe that there is anything that they can do to change it. One thing that they may come to mind is that they can gain a sense of control by manipulating others; however, this might not interest them in the slightest. Emotional Collapse In addition to feeling as though they have no control over their life, there may be moments when they end up hitting rock bottom. This could be a time when they sink right down into themselves and feel totally helpless and powerless. At other times, they could feel extremely depressed and wonder if their life is actually worth living. There could be other moments when they go the other way and end up being consumed by rage. A Deeper Look It would be easy to say that this person is not powerless and that they just need to change their thoughts and behaviour. Another way of looking at this would be to say that this person is carrying a lot of trauma, which is why they are unable to embrace the power and control that they have. Through carrying trauma, it will be the difference between being splashed by water and being immersed in water. It won’t just be something that affects how they think or even feel; it will have permeated their whole being. Weighed Down Furthermore, they may find that when they do feel helpless and powerless, their body often ends up going very tight and they feel trapped. What this will illustrate is that they have gone into freeze mode, which is a survival response. Clearly, this is not just about their mind; it is about their whole being. If they were to merely change their thoughts or their behaviour, it is highly unlikely that it would have both a dramatic and lasting effect on them. Back In Time For one to understand why they are this way, they will probably need to take the time to think about what took place during their early years. If they are able to remember what took place, they may find that this was a time when they were abused and/or neglected. Irrespective of what happened, they would have regularly felt overwhelmed and as though they had no control. At this stage of their life they didn’t have any control, but now that they are an adult, this is not the case. Awareness To truly understand this, they will most likely need to let go of the trauma that is inside them. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
 Oliver JR CooperAuthor, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant - With Over 2,000,000 Article Views Online. Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
My Books...
A Dialogue With The Heart - Part One
Trapped Emotions
Childhood
A Dialogue With The Heart - Part Two
Toxic Shame
Abandonment
Child Abuse
A Dialogue With The Spirit
Trapped Grief
Why Does He Behave That Way? Why Do I Behave This Way?
Boundaries
Inner Child
Childhood Trauma
People Pleasing
Loyalty
Trauma
|