First there is the desire to do something and then there is what needs to be done for one to experience that which they desire. For this to happen one may just need to need to leave their house and to head out.

Ultimately, what they need to do is going to be defined by what it is that they want to experience. Naturally, if they don’t do anything and just sit around, absolutely nothing is going to take place.

Another Need

Similarly, if one wanted to achieve something, they would also need to take action. When it comes to what they will need to do before they reach their goal, it can all depend on what it is that they want to achieve.

For example, if one wanted to completely transform their body, it is obviously not going to happen overnight. They will need to take consistent action; if they don’t, they won’t achieve their desired outcome.  
The Main Part

It has been said that when it comes to achieving anything, turning up in the main thing. What this emphasises is how important it is to take action and not to stand on the sidelines watching life go by.

This saying also shows that while having ability helps, it is not going to be of use if someone doesn’t do anything with what they have. Whereas someone can be in a position where they are not particularly gifted but they take action, meaning that they will do better even though they are not going to be as capable on paper.

A Big Demand

The self-help industry is full of books and courses that talk about the importance of taking action. This shows that there are a lot of people who need this kind of guidance; if this wasn’t the case, there wouldn’t as much material out there on this area.

What this means is that if someone does find it hard to take action and to ‘go after their dreams’, they don’t need to stay this way. And, once they start taking action and build momentum, there can be no stopping them.   

Black And White

Once they take action, it could then be said that they will be in touch with themselves and they will drive to fulfil their needs. The people around them can end up giving them positive feedback, seeing them as someone who has it all together.

However, what this would overlook is that while taking action can show that one has a good connection with themselves, it can also show that they are running away from themselves. Here, one will take action to change how they feel; their actions will then be a means to an end, stopping them from being able to enjoy the process.

Two Types of Action

On one side, then, there is inspired action, and this will take place when one is in tune with who they are and feel good about themselves. They will take action when it is necessary and this means that they won’t have turned themselves into a machine.

On the other side of this will be someone who is out of tune with who they are and feels bad about themselves. Their whole life is then going be about doing and it won’t be possible for them to just be; they will be more like a machine than a human being.

Two Approaches

So, if someone finds it hard to take action, they will need to develop the habit of taking action. This could take place by reading a book and then applying what they have learnt, or they could just taking small actions and work their way up to bigger things.

If one is constantly doing things, finding it hard to relax and to let go, they will need to look into what they are trying to avoid. Healing the pain that is within them may allow them to settle down.

Stuck

While someone’s life may change after applying what they have learnt in a book or find that taking small steps allows them to take bigger steps, this might not work for them.  Intellectually, they will know how important it is to take action and they could see that not taking action is having a negative effect on their life, but that won’t be enough for them to get the ball moving, so to speak.

Along with this, the thought of taking action could be something that causes them to experience a lot of fear. For some reason, not taking action is going to be what feels safe.

Just do it

One thing that one could then do is to ignore how they feel and to take action; this will stop them from being controlled by fear. If they give into their fear, it will be harder for them to embrace life.

At the same time, this approach could end up causing them to feel overwhelmed. Not taking action is going to have a negative effect on them and taking action is also going to cause them problems.

Inner Conflict

This is going to stop them from being able to listen to their need and feelings. Perhaps they haven’t been this way for very long, or maybe they have been this way for as long as they can remember.

What this can show is that they have had an experience, or a number of experiences that caused their system to be overwhelmed. This would have destroyed their sense of trust in the world, which would have eroded their sense of safety.

Awareness

If this goes back to what happened during the beginning of their life, it could show that they were abused and/or neglected. Their body and mind will be carrying trauma that needs to be resolved.
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If someone can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
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When I was on a course in 2009, there were moments when we all had to pair up with someone to practice the technique that we were learning. I would try to work someone who I felt comfortable with, and was something that just about everyone else did.

Towards the end of the course, we were told to find someone who we hadn’t worked with before. And it was suggested that we work with someone who we had avoided up until this point.
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An Opportunity to Grow

I didn’t think this made a lot of sense at first and thought that it would be better for me to work with someone who I felt at ease with. Nevertheless, what I came to see is that by working with someone who I had avoided, it gave me (as well as them) the chance to see why I had been avoiding them.

Being in close proximity to them had triggered something within me and by working with them; I would be able to work through what was going on within me. If, on the other hand, I had avoided them, I wouldn’t have had the chance to do this.

A Similar Message

A little while after this course, I read a number of Osho’s books and one thing he spoke about was being with a problem until it was no longer a problem. So, instead of trying to change what was going on or to run away from it; it was simply about embracing what was going on and being with it.

Through coming from a place of acceptance as opposed to resistance, the problem or situation would gradually change. This is then about surrendering to the moment and working with the flow of the universe – something that takes a certain amount of trust.

The Connection

It might seem as though what I have said here has nothing to do with what happened whilst I was on the course, yet what both of these things have in common is how beneficial it can be to face that which makes us feel uncomfortable. This is something that can involve being with are so-called negative thoughts and feelings.

What makes these aspects even stronger is when we try to deny them; after all, what we resist persists. This shows that the need to feel good or to change something can just be a way for us to avoid how we feel, with this need coming from our ego.

A Number of Years Later

In 2015 I met someone called Wain Gordon and I thought that this was just another guy who was into self-development. How wrong I was – this was someone who had very little in common with a lot of the people I had met who were into this area of life.

In many ways, being around him was similar to having a stone in my shoe; I would often feel unconformable and as though I was being challenged. But while having a stone in my shoe would be painful, I came to see that I would only experience pain if I interpreted what Wain was saying in the wrong way.

Clear Intentions

He would ask me why I wanted to achieve something and what I had hoped to achieve after I had done something. He wasn’t asking me this to because he had nothing else to do and wanted to undermine me; he asked me this because he wanted to see if I was aware of what my motivations were.

I came to see that these were the kinds of questions that I should be asking myself if I wanted to behave in a conscious manner. However, if I had got caught up in how uncomfortable I felt, it would have stopped me from being able to grow.

Final Thoughts

I think that this empathises how important it is to be able to observe our inner processes and, when we can do this, it will be a lot easier for us to learn from that which causes us to feel uncomfortable. It has been said that our own life is our greatest teacher and it is easy to see why this is the case.

That is, of course, if we pay attention to the messages that are being given to us. If you would like to find out more about Wain, and the services that he offers, please go to - https://www.timetorelax.space/.

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Oliver JR Cooper
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Not too long ago, I was speaking to someone who had a less-than nurturing childhood, and this was something that had left them in a bad way. There was the impact it had had on how they saw themselves and then there was the trauma that they were carrying.

Then again, it might be more accurate to say that the trauma within them was defining how they saw themselves. It was then not a case of there being two problems, as their view of themselves was simply a symptom of what was taking place at a deeper level.

Searching For Answers

That wasn’t all they spoke about, though, as they had read a number of books and worked with a number of different therapists. It was clear that they were not willing to put up with how their life was.

But while they were doing the right thing, they still felt as though there was something inherently wrong with them. As a result of this, it wasn’t always possible for them to give themselves the support that they deserved.

A Normal Reaction

I said that this is often what happens when someone was abused during their younger years; they end up feeling responsible for what happened. This is due to the fact that they would have been egocentric at this age.
Consequently, it is then not that someone’s caregiver/s had issues; it is that there was something inherently wrong with them. Through having this outlook, it can take a lot for them to reach out for support as an adult and, even if they do, there can still be moments when they end up falling down, so to speak.

A Big Challenge

They can then end up sabotaging their own healing, and this can take place by putting an end to the therapy that they are having, for instance. Being drawn to alcohol or drugs can be another way for them to punish themselves.

The abuse would have been external to begin with and now it will be internal, with this being will stop them from being able to do what it takes to heal themselves. This will take place though how they talk to themselves and how they feel.

Inner Conflict

I knew exactly what this person was going through and this was because I had been though the same thing. During the early stages of my own healing journey, there was a small part of me that was on my side and a big part of me that wasn’t.

And, as time went by and I worked through the layers of pain within them, this small part of me gradually got bigger. This has not been an easy path to walk, but I can say that it has definitely been worth it.

A Warriors Journey

I wouldn’t have been able to achieve what I have without the assistance of others; their support has been invaluable. I told this person that it takes courage to do what they are doing and that they are doing the right thing.

Facing how we feel and working through our pain it is not easy, yet it is a vital part of being able to heal. I would say that it is easier than ever before to find the right assistance and this is largely due to the internet.

You are worth it!

So, if your childhood left you in a bad way, reach out for the assistance that you need. And, if you have already taken this step, keep going and don’t give up on yourself.
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What happened to you all those years ago doesn’t reflect who you are and, as you heal yourself, you will gradually realise this. Your future self will thank you for what you do to change your life. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
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A little while ago I spoke to someone whose son had gone through a break up, and this was something that had a big impact on him. She didn’t say how long he had been with her for, but she did go into what he had gone though.

He ending up losing the will to live and, as a result of this, he wanted to end his own life. When he was about to go and do this, his mother got hold of him and stopped him from going anywhere until he had settled down.

The Difference

Hearing this made me think about how fortunate this guy was that his mother was there to give him the support that he needed. What also helped was that he didn’t hide what he was going through; allowing his mother to know what was going on for him.

If he had just kept what he was going through to himself, he wouldn’t have been able to get the support that he desperately needed. Also, if he had needed support but his mother hadn’t taken him seriously; it would have been just as bad.

Two Parts

In order for a man in this position to get the support that he needs, he will need to open up and he will need to do this around people who actually care about what he is going through. The first step is talking to someone and if this doesn’t go well, it will be vital for to find someone who does care.

When I heard this women talking about what her son had gone though, I didn’t feel the need to judge him. The reason for this is that I knew how painful it can be when a relationship comes to an end.

Looking Back

I have had a number of break ups in the past that have completely floored me. At one point in time I would feel good and, at another, I would be completely overwhelmed with pain.  

I wanted this pain to come to an end, but I would never get to the point where I tried to end my life. I would say that this was due to the understanding that I had of myself and the support that was available to me.

A Framework

Through reading books on early neglect and abuse and taking courses, I was aware of how a lot of the pain that was coming up was from when I was very small. In addition to this, I would have at least one therapist/healer who I could work with.

I still experienced a lot of pain but what my understanding of myself and the support gave me was the belief that there was way for me to move forward. If I didn’t have the understandings that I had and I wasn’t aware of anyone who could assist me, it would have been very different.

Reaching Out

So, if you have just gone through a break up and you are in a bad way, don’t suffer in silence. You can look for answers online or you can go and see your doctor; what matters is that you don’t give up on yourself.
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I believe that you will find a way through this pain, yet that will only happen if you get the assistance that you need to transform your life. Keep going and don’t give up.

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It has been said that in order for someone to be able to give, they will need to be able to receive. With this in mind, being able to receive is the first part and being able to give is the second part.

Right at the Beginning

Another way of understanding this would be for one to go back to what took place during the start of their life. This would have been a time when they were unable to do anything for anyone.  

Yet, through being given the love, nurturance and support that they needed, amongst other things, they would have gradually been able to give something back. This was then a time when their cup was being filled up, so to speak.

It Goes On

It doesn’t end there though, as one will need to receive throughout their life or they won’t be able to function. For example, if one didn’t eat anything and they didn’t sleep, they wouldn’t be able to do anything.

When one is eating, they are receiving the nutrition’s that they need and, when they are sleeping, their body is recharging. By getting enough to eat and getting the sleep that they need, they will be able to contribute to the world.

Another Component

What will also be important will be for their emotional needs to be met, or it will be a lot harder for them to be at their best. They will still be able to function, but it would be a very empty existence.

This will relate to physical and emotional intimacy; being able to accept physical and emotional support from others. So, being held, expressing their sexual side, and opening up to the right people about how they feel and what they have been going through, for instance.

The Norm

If one was to think about their life, they may find that it is normal for them to have their needs met. Due to this, they may find that they don’t have trouble giving their time and energy to others, with this allowing them to make a difference.

Still, this doesn’t mean that there haven’t been moments in their life when they have felt as though they were running on empty; what it means is that this won’t be something they are accustomed to. Through experiencing life in this way, it will show that they feel comfortable with their own needs.

The Key

How they behave has then got a lot to do with what is taking place within them and has very little to do with what is taking place externally. If they didn’t feel comfortable with their own needs and as though it was safe for them to fulfil them, their life would be very different.

This is not to say that feeling good about themselves and valuing who they are is not important. There is no doubt how important this is, but it is not the most important part of the equation.

A Different Reality

When one doesn’t experience life in this way, they may find that they are used to giving their time and energy to the world, but that very little comes back to them. This is naturally going to be incredibly frustrating.

In addition to this, they could often end up feeling powerless, hopeless and as though they have no control. This could mean that there will be times when one will give up and lose the will to live.

Confusion

One is going to believe that they need to give to be able to receive, which will make it hard for them to understand why their life is this way. It is not going to be a surprise for them to have this belief, as this outlook is common in today’s world.

If they continue to behave in the same way and don’t take a deeper look into what is going on, their life is likely to get even worse. This person might even have high self-esteem, but this won’t have much of an impact on how they are experiencing life.

Another Experience

Conversely, one could be only too aware of how they can’t let anything into their life, meaning that this won’t be something that causes them to feel confused. What could baffle them is why they are this way.

They may find that they only feel comfortable when they are at a distance from life, and that they don’t want anyone or anything getting to close to them. One might then have enough to eat (that’s if being this way doesn’t affect their ability to use the food that they consume) and they may get enough sleep (that’s if they can relax enough to settle down), but they could feel as though they are running on empty when it comes to other areas of their life.

What’s going on?

Regardless of whether one is aware of the fact that they can’t let anything, it is going to cause them to suffer; there is no doubt about it. What this is likely to show is that keeping life at a distance is what feels safe at a deeper level.

Their body then feels comfortable with keeping just about everything at bay but this is going against their need to receive. Clearly, they are experiencing inner conflict and, if this doesn’t change, their life is only going to get worse.

Back In Time

There may have been a time in their life when they felt overwhelmed, and this could have happened on more than one occasion. This may relate to what has happened in their adult years or it could go back to their younger years.

If it does back to their early years, this could show that they experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. These experiences would have been too much for them to handle, thereby causing them to associating receiving with something that would end their life.  

Awareness
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No matter how long someone has experienced life in this way for, it doesn’t mean that their life has to stay this way. With the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance, they can change. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
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I was speaking to a friend of mine the other day called, Wain, and he was talking about the work that he had been sharing on social media. He had recently created another page and had put in a fair amount of work to build it up.

From what he was saying, it made me think about how it is easy to put in a lot of work and end up with very little in return. There can be the money that someone puts in to increase their ‘followers’ and there can be all the time they put in to create content.

Another Approach

Now, another thing that often takes place is that someone will share other peoples work, but they will still have had to find out. It is not as though this material will have just appeared in front of them.

Yet, without even talking about what my friend has gone through or what the average person does, I can relate to this myself. When I first started writing, I would write an article and expect it to receive a lot of ‘likes’ when I shared it.

Two Sides

In some cases this would happen, while there would be other times when this wouldn’t happen. As I thought that what I was sharing was good, I would often end up feeling angry and let down when this didn’t happen.

Still, I didn’t allow this to discourage me; I carried on writing and gradually stopped caring about how many ‘likes’ I received. As a result of this, I have been able to continue to express myself in this way.

A Big Trap

Initially, I thought that the amount of ‘likes’ I received defined how good my work was. So, if I received a certain amount, my work was good, but if I didn’t, it meant that my work wasn’t very good.

This meant that I was giving my power away and allowing what was taking place on a screen to have a big effect on me. I had to take a step back to see how absurd this was, and this was one of the things that allowed me to regain my focus and to keep going.

A Closer Look

I say one of the things as I had the need to express myself, so I wasn’t going to just stop because of this. By taking a step back, I started to think about how meaningless these ‘likes' were.

These kinds of sites often change what is taking place behind the scenes, which has an effect on who can see what we share. Therefore, there is a strong chance that what we share is not even seen by most of the people who have joined our page.
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The Most Important Thing

Additionally, whether or not someone ‘likes’ what we share doesn’t really mean anything in the long run. If they ‘like’ it, it doesn’t mean that they have actually taken the time to read or watch what we have shared and, if someone doesn’t, it could show that they haven’t seen it or it could just mean that it didn’t match up with what they think is good.

What can become clear after thinking about all this is how destructive it is to let what happens on different social media sites to define whether what we produce is good or bad. Ultimately, if you feel the need to empress yourself through writing or making videos, for instance, follow your calling and don’t allow what is going on externally to stop you.

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I remember hearing about someone who only felt good about themselves if they received a certain amount of likes on a social media site. This person was sharing pictures of their face and their body.
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If they received a certain amount of likes everything would be fine, but if they didn’t, they would soon end up hitting rock bottom. It was clear that this person had allowed other people to define their value and to control their emotional state.

Complete Strangers

They hadn’t met the majority of these people before and, even if they had, they might not have got on with most of them. The power to define how they feel was then in the hands of people who they knew very little about.

If they only allowed their friends and family to define their value, for instance, it would be different as they would know what they were like and value them. But even if this was the case, they would still be giving their power away.

A Big Shock

Even if this person was able to meet all of their followers, there is a strong chance that they wouldn’t get on with most of them. And they might even start to hate a lot of these people if they were to spend a lot of time with them.

But even though this would be a draining experience, it would allow them to see how crazy it is to give their power away to these people. Consequently, instead of feeling down about not getting ‘likes’ from all of their followers, they might feel relieved.

A Precarious Position

When our worth is externalised in this manner, it will feel good when we receive positive feedback; we could feel as though we are on top of the world. The downside is that when this positive feedback is not forthcoming, we can end up feeling completely worthless.

Not only this, we can get used to the amount of likes that we receive and need more to experience the same hit. What can also play a part is that we can compare how may ‘likes’ we get with how many ‘likes’ other people get, with this being another way for us to feel good or bad about ourselves.

Another Way

Lastly, if we are looking for people to approve of how we look, there is going to come a time when this approach no longer works. Our appearance will gradually change and this will cause people to go elsewhere.

Considering this fact, it is going to be far better for us to get in touch with our inherent value and to let go of the need for other people to make us feel good about ourselves. Getting in touch with our inherent value is not always easy, though, and this is usually because of what we have picked up throughout our life, along with what has been passed down from our ancestors.

Letting Go

Negative beliefs, emotional pain and trauma, can stop us from being able to connect to our inherent value. Each layer will have built up on the previous later, preventing us from realising the truth of who we are.

When it comes to dealing with all this baggage, external support may be required. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer, for instance.  

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Oliver JR Cooper
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During my time in Sweden, Stockholm, I was reminded of how good it was to travel. Before I went away, the last time I went aboard was a number of years ago, and this meant that I had pretty much forget about what it was like to go away.

When I was away, it was clear that I was the one who had to get the ball moving, so to speak, or nothing would happen. There wasn’t someone else who would make things happen.

In The Beginning

Now, I did go there to meet a friend but I wasn’t going to be meeting him straight away. Thus, it was down to me to decide what I wanted to do before I saw him and then to take action.

Through taking action I ended up feeling strong and capable, yet this wouldn’t have been the case if I had just sat around doing nothing. There were times when I felt uncomfortable but shortly after I felt more confident.

Just How it Works

What this made me think about is how it is not uncommon for someone to have the desire to be more confident, and to try to achieve this directly. I thought that this is something that usually takes place indirectly.

So, by doing something that makes us feel uncomfortable, we often end up feeling more confident. Confidence is then not something that we can just attain; it is something that we experience after we have done something that has pushed us past our comfort zone.

If you don’t use it, you lose it

With this in mind, confidence is not something that can be developed and that’s the end of it. In the same way that a plant will die if it is not watered, our confidence will begin to subside if we don’t do things that challenge us.

Confidence, then, works in the same way as just about everything else on this planet - in so far as it is either growing or dyeing. Each challenge that we face can then give us the strength that we need to move forward.

A Different Environment

Back to my experience, I was in another country and this meant that I was out of my comfort zone, which stopped me from simply going through the motions. I had to become more active in order to make the most of my time there.

My way of looking at all this is that being away gave me the opportunity to strengthen the masculine element within me. This is something that exists in all of us, regardless of what gender we are.

Another Option

I am often very aware of this side of my nature, so it doesn’t take a lot for me to realise when this part of me is not getting what it needs. If this part of you is not very developed, this may change if you were to travel.
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Being away would give you the chance to get out of your comfort zone and it would be down to you to take action. And if you are already in touch with this part of you nature, going away is still likely to benefit you.

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A little while ago I was talking to someone who said that one of their friends had suffered from depression in the past and, along with this, another one of their friends had recently revealed that they were not in a good way. I don’t think it came as a surprise for them to hear about what their first friend had been through, but that wasn’t the case when it came to their other friend.
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Hidden

The reason for this is that this friend had a good job and they appeared to have it all together. Hearing this came as a big shock to them, and perhaps they wondered how this person was able to cover up how they felt for so long.

I wasn’t surprised by what I had heard, and there were a number of reasons for this. Over the years, I have written a lot about how the image that someone presents to the world doesn’t always match up with what is going on within them and how shallow relationships can be.

The Result

Two people can then spend time together and they can know very little about each other. That’s not to say they won’t know what they have been doing, for instance; what it means is that they won’t really open about how they have been feeling or what is bothering them

Each person will be playing a role and this will stop them from being able to be themselves. Creating the right impression ends up being more important than anything else, thereby stopping them from being able to truly connect to each other.

Looking Back

I know exactly what this is like as I had the need to look strong all the time and to hide how I felt. This meant that it seemed as though nothing fazed me, yet this was nothing more than an illusion.

What felt safe was hiding how I felt; if I didn’t do this, I believed that I would be rejected, abandoned and/or harmed. This went back to what had happened to me when I was growing up.

A New Perspective

I was carrying a lot of shame, and hiding my emotions was a way for me to try to stop people from realising how flawed I was. I believed that if my mask dropped, so to speak, I would end up being exposed and the people in my life would end up walking away.

Part of me wasn’t willing to go along with this and I knew that there was a way for me to change my life. I read numerous books and worked with different healers and therapists, which allowed me to see that there was nothing for me to be ashamed off.

Very Strange

During this time, the relationship I had with my own emotions gradually changed and I no longer wanted to play a role. What I also thought about is that there was no reason for me to feel ashamed of the mental and emotional issues that I had.

The positive feedback that I received from therapists and healers played a part in this, as did what I read in books. I went from believing that my inner experience was something to be ashamed off, to seeing as just part of the human experience.

Neutral

If I had always felt this way, I would have been able to do something about how I felt years before. The beliefs I had about what I was going through were what had held me back, not what I was actually going through.

The beliefs I had were the result of my upbringing and the experiences I had had throughout my life. If I had a physical problem, I’m sure I would have let someone know about it more or less straight away and got the right help.

A New Outlook

When someone realises that there is nothing for them to be ashamed of if they have mental and emotional problems, they won’t need to suffer in silence. This will allow them to look for the assistance that they need.

If another person makes out there is something wrong with them, it can show that they don’t feel comfortable with their own emotions. The way that they talk to themselves is then being directed outwards.

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Oliver JR Cooper
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In 2015, I was speaking to a therapist called, Vijay Rana, about different healing techniques. I was talking about how some people believe that their technique is the best one available or the only one that works.
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After bringing this up, I went into why I thought that it wasn’t a good idea for someone to say these kinds of things. I remember saying that this can cause someone to experience problems when a technique doesn’t work for them.

Self-Blame

They can end up believing that there must be something wrong with them, causing them to feel even worse than they did before. Also, instead of trying another technique that will assist them, they can continue to use the same technique.

There can be the frustration and anger that they experience as well, along with all the money that they are forking out. And after all this, they are not going to be any better off than they were before; if anything, they can worse off.

His Thoughts

Vijay listened to what I had to say and then he followed up with what he had heard Ken Wilber say. I think he said that he had heard him talk about how people can get so attached to what they do, that it impedes their ability to think clearly.

It was as though the technique they use becomes part of them, making them see everything though a certain lens. Their technique will be a hammer and this will cause them to see every issue as a nail – there will be a one-size-fits-all approach.

A Number of Options

He said that while he uses one technique, this was not the only way of working through inner blocks. There were a number of different options that he put forward, and this showed that his identity was not attached to a technique.

This allowed him to be more open minded and to accept that what works for one person might not have the same effect on someone else. It was not a surprise to hear Vijay say this as he is very down to earth and genuine.

A Long List

Over the years, I have tried a number of different approaches, and I have learnt a lot and dealt with a lot of stuff during this time. Some of the things I have tried have worked for others but not for me and certain approaches have been good for certain issues but not others.

I would say that there are techniques out that there that are far more effective than others, but I wouldn’t say that one technique will solve everything. What I have also thought is that if someone uses a technique and says that it is the only one that works, and they are in a good place themselves, there is a strong chance that they have tried many different techniques over their life to get to where they are.

A Process

The technique they use will have been elevated, but there is likely to have been so many other factors that will have played a part in where they are today. Ignoring the other techniques they have used and experiences that have allowed them evolve will be similar to a car manufacturer overlooking how much of an impact the earlier models of a car have had on the latest model; if it wasn’t for these models, the latest model wouldn’t exist.

Therefore, if they hadn’t have gone through these experiences, they would have been able to get to this point. In other words, it is unlikely that the technique they now use is the only one they have ever used.

Timing

Often, someone will be drawn to a technique that allows them to go to a level that they feel comfortable with at that point in time. It could be said that there is the technique and then there is how ready someone is to work through an issue.

How ready someone is can define how long it will take them to work through something; this is not something that a therapist or a healer can speed up. This is why it is important for someone to trust in their journey, to know that the answers they need will be provided at the right time. 

​​​​​​​​​​If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.

• Join my Facebook Page.
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• The books I have written.

Oliver JR Cooper
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