If someone is going through a challenging time in their life, they may hope that that this will soon change. What this could show is that one area of their life is not going as they would like it to go, or there might be a number of areas that are like this.
Another Factor In addition to this, there is going to be how long their life has been this way for. This could be how their life has been for a few weeks, or it might have been this way for a number of months. It is likely to be a lot easier for them to handle what is taking place if it hasn’t been this way for very long. But if it has been going on for quite some time, it is likely to be a lot harder for them to keep their head up. Holding On This is then the same as what would happen if one was to hold onto a heavy weight for a certain period of time. In the beginning, they can feel strong and as though they will be able to hold it forever. Yet, as times goes by and their muscles begin to tire, their outlook is gradually going to change. Not only will they need to use more physical energy to hold it; they will also need to use more mental energy to stay focused. One Area What this could show is that one is in a relationship that is not going very well, and this might make it difficult for them to focus on other areas of their life. For example, when they are at work, they might not be able to be in the moment. As a result of this, it is not going to be possible for them to perform at their best, and this could end up creating another problem. In the short-term, they might be able to get away with it, but if their behaviour doesn’t change before long, it will be a different story. Sinking Deeper One can then end up in a position where they hope their relationships will get better and that they don’t end up losing their job. Their mind is going to have another thing to think about and this will create even more pressure. One problem has then ended up creating another problem, and it is then not going to be one more area of their life that is not going in the right direction. From here, it might only be a matter of time before other areas of their life start to crumble. Another Experience Alternatively, one could find they are in a relationship that is not very fulfilling, their career is no better, and their health is also in a bad way. But although this is the case, they could still hope that it will all change for the better. It then doesn’t take a lot of brain power to realise that it is highly unlikely that their life will get better; in fact, it will probably get a lot worse. So instead of wasting energy hoping that their life will change, it will be far better for them to actually do something about it. Two Parts Through taking this approach, they will have the desire to experience a certain outcome and they will do what they can to make it happen. One is then going to be using their mind and their body. When one behaves in this way, it will show that they are in touch with their own personal power. They are not going to see themselves as someone who doesn’t have any control over their life. Not the Same If someone like this was to hope that something will change, it could be a sign that it relates to something that is out of their control. One could have a family member or a friend who is unwell, or one could feel this way if they have been taken hostage, for instance. It could be said that even though the hope they are experiencing won’t have an effect on what is taking place externally, it will have an effect on what is taking place within them. When it comes to the first example, it will give them strength and, when it relates to the second example, it might keep them alive. Disempowered What stands out then is that when one allows their life to be defined by hope, it is going to stop them from being able to live a fulfilling life. Their life is going to be out of their hands, and they will have to wait and see what happens. At a deeper level, this is likely to show that one feels powerless, and this could be how they have felt for as long as they can remember. Consequently, it is not just going to be how they feel; it will be how life is. The Truth One is then going to have no other choice than to put up with what is taking place and to ‘hope’ that their life will change. There may have been moments in their life when certain things have changed, but this unlikely to have had much of an effect on their life as a whole. If one was to take a step back and to look into what their early years were like, they may find that this was when they first felt powerless. This may have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected. Awareness Time will have passed, but what took place all those years ago will still be defining their life. Due to what happened to them when they were younger, they might be carrying trauma. If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to work with a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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When someone has an entitlement mentality, it can cause them to behave in ways that will have a negative effect on others. Through being this way, one of their main priorities will be fulfil their own needs.
One-Sided These are likely to be needs that are seen are being more important than the needs of others. Therefore, as long as they are able to get them met, it won’t matter what effect their behaviour has on others. Not only will these needs be important to them, but they will believe that other people should have the same outlook. So, regardless of what their needs are, one will expect other people to respond to their needs. Special What this is likely to show is that one believes that this is something that should just happen; it is not going to be necessary for them to earn anything. If they want something, it should be provided. It can be as if one is the centre of the universe, and everyone else will be on this planet to serve their needs. And as they are so valuable, there will be no reason for them not to have what they desire. Acceptable Behaviour Yet, if this doesn’t happen, there is the chance that one will end up being consumed by rage. As far as they are concerned, they won’t have been treated in the right way, and so their behaviour will be justified. Now, this could mean that someone has treated them badly, or it could show come down to the fact that they haven’t been given special treatment. If this happened to someone else, they might just brush it off; this is because they are not going to expect everyone to treat them like a king or queen, for instance. Violated It is not going to be possible for them to do this though, as this kind of behaviour is not going to be acceptable. Based on what has taken place, one can feel as though another person has caused them harm. There will be the pain that they are in and there will be the pain that they want to cause to the other person. In their eyes, the other person will have treated them badly, and it will be down to them to get their own back. Self-Protection One way of looking at this would be to say that even though one sees themselves as being special, there is another part of them that is not on board with this. It is then like a house that has been built on sound. Consequently, being treated differently by others causes them to get in touch with what is taking place at a deeper level, and this is then why they end up experiencing rage. This allows them to feel powerful; whereas if this didn’t take place, they would probably end up hitting rock bottom. A Defence The reason one has risen so high can be due to the fact that they felt so low at one point in their life. This is then why they can end up falling so for down when another person doesn’t give them special treatment and they are unable to experience rage. At a deeper level, they are likely to be carrying toxic shame, and by disconnecting from what is taking place within them it allows them to feel better about themselves. This stops them from feeling so low; the trouble is that this also causes them to lose touch with their healthy shame. Early Trauma What this can show is that they were abused and/or neglected during their early years. Their developmental needs wouldn’t have been met and this would have stopped them for being able to develop in the right way. Alternatively, one may have been brought up by a caregiver who abused them in another way. Here, one may have been brought up to believe that they were better than everyone else, and this could show that their caregiver had some kind of mental disorder. It’s a Bad Thing It could then be said that if someone is a healthy human being, they are not going to have an entitlement mentality. This will stop them from expecting special treatment from everyone they come into contact with, and it will cause them to work for what they want. However, while it can seem as though there are only two options here, it is not this black and white. Another way of looking at this would be to say that not feeling entitled to anything is just about bad as feeling entitled to everything. In The Middle Of the Spectrum When one doesn’t believe that they are entitled to anything, they are unlikely to be able to feel good about themselves. One is not going to believe that they deserve anything, and this can stop them from working towards their goals. A healthy sense of entitlement is then what allows someone to take action; without this, they can feel as though they don’t deserve to be here. Yet, when one goes to the other extreme, they can feel as though they are more deserving than anyone else. A Foundational Piece In addition to how it will affect their goals, there will also be the impact it will have on their relationships. It can cause them to put up with bad behaviour from others, and it won’t matter if they are paying for a service. After all, they are not going to feel entitled to being treated with respect; this will be seen as something that only applies to other people. Deep down, they will be missing the understanding that they deserve to exist and to be supported. Awareness What this is likely to show is that one’s early years were a time when they were not given the kind of care that they needed. Perhaps their caregiver’s were also treated in the same way, and the abuse and/or neglect has then passed from one generation to another (and it could go back even further). If one can relate to this, they might need to reach out for external support; this is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer. This will give them the chance to deal with what is stopping them from realising their inherent value.
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If a man was to meet a woman who he had a good connection with, he might want to take things further. So, in the upcoming weeks and months, he could take the time to get to know her better.
A Better Understanding Through taking this approach, it will give him the opportunity to see if she would be a good match. During this time, he could find out about what her parents are like and the kind of men she has been with in the past. What this will show is that even though he is drawn to this woman, it is not going to stop him from being able to think clearly. The emotional part of his brain is not going to take over, and this could save him a lot of problems further down the line. One Thing If, on the other hand, he only wanted to share his body with this woman, there would be no reason for him to take this route. He is not going to have the desire to have a relationship with her. Therefore, it won’t matter if she has a good relationship with her parents or what kind of men she has been with. This is then similar to how one won’t need to find out how safe a car is if they only want to sit in it whilst it is stationary. A Different Story Yet, if they wanted to drive the car around, it would be vital for them to find out more about it. Further down the line, they might want to have other people in the car, and this would be another thing for them to think about. In the same way, if a man wanted to have children with a woman, it would be just as important for him to find out more about her. When this happens, it is not just going to be him and the car, he will also have passengers. Paying the Price The alternative would be for him to be controlled by his emotions and not to the take the time to get to know a woman. Now, there is the chance that everything will work out fine, but if it doesn’t, it could cause him a lot of problems. This could then have a negative effect on his ability to focus on other areas of his life and, if he has children with this woman, it is going to be even worse. What will also make a difference is if he ends up getting married to her. A Lot of Damage There can then be what he will go through emotionally, what will happen to his finances, and it might also end up being a challenge for him to see his own children. If something like this was to happen, he might see that there were signs in the beginning that that he ignored. The illusions that were created in this mind will have dropped and he might wonder how this happened. An experience like this could turn him against women, but this is going to stop him from being able to fulfil his need to connect to another women. Reaching Out If something like this was to take place, it might be a good idea for him to reach out for external support. This will give him the chance to look into why he was drawn to a woman like this and to work through the pain that is within him. This is a process that could take a number of months, or it might take even longer; but it will be worth it in the long run. Over time, this will enable him to change his behaviour and it will allow him to meet a woman who is different. Another Way Along with men who just go head first into a relationship and don’t take the time to get to know the woman; there are going to be others who have a different approach. A man can then find out about what she has been through in the past and this can draw him even closer to her. For example, he could find out that she has been with a number of men who are abusive, and this could make him want to rescue her. His protective instincts will take over and he will have one thing in mind. A New Beginning He can then believe that he will be able to give her what she hasn’t had before; a relationships with a man who will treat her well. There is, of course, the chance that he will be able to make this a reality. If this was to take place, it will probably allow him to feel good about himself and as though he has done the right thing. At the same time, he could soon realise that this is not going to work. A Stray Dog Consequently, this can be the same as trying to domesticate a dog that has been living outside for most of its life. He might soon see that it’s not that this woman just happened to end up with abusive men; it’s that this is what she feels comfortable with. And unless she is willing to take a step back and to see why this is, it is not going to be possible for her to have a healthy relationship. She will be with a man who treats her with respect, but she will be treating him as though he is no better than the men she has been with in the past. Stepping Back There is the chance that the only way he will be able to have a healthy relationship with her is if she has therapy. Still, if she was to heal herself, she might no longer be interested in him. It will also be a good idea for the man to look into why he has the need to rescue this woman, as this could show that he is trying to avoid himself. Perhaps he feels ashamed of his own needs and fears being with a woman who is available. Awareness When it omens to looking into why he is drawn to a woman like this and dealing with what is taking place within him, it might be necessary for him to reach out for external support. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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When one believes that they are not good enough, it can set them to live a life that is not very fulfilling. For one thing, this can stop them from taking the steps that they need to take to fulfil their goals.
A Half-Life One is not going to view themselves in a positive light, and this is going to cause them to settle for less. This is not to say that they will be happy with what is taking place, but it can be as if they don’t have a choice. So if they were to get angry about what is taking place in their life, it is unlikely to have an effect. At a deeper level, they will feel powerless, and this may mean that they will have the tendency to act in a passive aggressive manner. Every Area How they see themselves is likely to have an effect on their career, relationships and on the kind of food they eat, amongst other things. One could be in a position where they do something that they can’t stand. But even though they will be happy once their time at work has come to an end, they might soon think about how it will only be a matter of time before they have to go back. It is then going to be a challenge for them to relax and to enjoy themselves when they are not at work. Relationships When it comes to the people who they spend time with, it is unlikely to be any different. The people in their life might only be concerned with their own needs, and one is then going to have to neglect themselves when they are in their company. Thus, one is not going to feel good in their presence and they are unlikely to feel good when their time together has come to an end. And, if they are in a relationship with someone, this person could walk all over them. A Reflection From the outside, it could seem as though they are a victim, and that there is nothing they can do to change their life. Consequently, it will be down to the people who treat them badly to change. Yet, if these people were aware of how their inner world is affecting their life, they might soon change their outlook. What this comes down to is that one’s inner world will need to change in order for their life to change. Black and White As a result of this, if someone is doing well in life it is going to show that they value themselves. At the same time, this is not what always takes place: instead, one could have taken a different approach. When this happens, one won’t simply go along with what is taking place within them; they will do everything they can to keep it at bay. One way of looking at this will be to say that they have taken a more masculine approach. Two Sides They will resist what is taking place within them, and this will cause them to take action. In fact, there is a strong chance that they will find it hard to it still; one could be obsessed with achieving things. On the other hand, when one accepts how they feel and doesn’t do anything to change it, it can be seen as a more feminine approach. One will have surrendered to what is taking place within them. Moving Up The ladder Through resisting what is taking place within them and taking action, there is the chance that they have been able to achieve a certain level of success. This could mean that there are plenty of people who see them as someone who has ‘made it’. But once they have achieved something, it is unlikely to have much of an effect on them. It might allow them to feel good about themselves for a short time and then their true feelings could come to the surface once again. One Purpose What this shows is that no matter what they achieve in the external world, it won’t change how they feel about themselves; the only thing that it will do is allow them to avoid how they feel. It is then not going to be possible for them to enjoy the journey; the only thing they will be interested in is the destination. So when something doesn’t go to plan or if they were to relax, they could end up coming into contact with how they truly feel about themselves. This could be a time when they will end up feeling depressed, and they could engage in self-harming behaviour. A False-Self If someone was to find out about what is taking place within them, they might find it hard to believe how they have been able to get so far in life. This person will then realise that the image that one presents to the world is nothing more than a facade. Through wearing a mask, there is also the chance that one’s relationships are not very fulfilling. But as one will generally be out of touch with their true feelings, this is to be expected. A Deeper Look This area of their life will only change if they are able to embrace how they feel, but as they feel worthless when this happens, this is unlikely to take place. The reason one feels this way could be due to what took place when they were younger. During this time, they may have been abused and/or neglected by their caregiver/s. Through being treated in this way, they would have experienced trauma and different associations would have been formed. Awareness One is then likely to be carry toxic shame, and this will have permeated their whole being. This will be what is stopping them from being able to realise that they are good enough. If one can relate to this and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
It could be said that there are a number of things that people need in order to have a fulfilling existence. When these things are in place, one can feel as though they are on the right track.
Close Connections One of the things that this is likely to include is having people in their life who they can share their life with. This will relate to what they have done each day, how they feel about certain things, and what they would like to achieve, amongst other things. Through having people in their life who they can share just every part of themselves with, it will allow them to fulfil a number of different needs. And when one meets these people’s needs in the same way, it will enable them to have relationships that are in balance. A Whole Human Being Consequently, when one is with someone like this, there will be no reason for them to feel as though they need to put on an act. No matter what is going on for them, they will be able to share it. Ultimately, this is going to cause one to feel as though they are being acknowledged by the other person. Some of their mental and emotional needs will be met, and this will have a positive effect on their wellbeing. A Big Benefit When one has a number of people who they can open up to, it is going to stop them from relying on one person. For example, if one was in a relationship and they could only open up to them, they are going to expect a lot from this person. Also, if this relationship was to come to an end, they wouldn’t have anyone else to share their life with. So, through having a number of people who they can share their life with, they are going to be a lot better off. The Reason It would be easy to say that one is lucky to experience life in this way, as there are plenty of people who don’t. Based on this, this is something that just happens or it doesn’t, and there is nothing that one can do if it doesn’t. However, while this might sound accurate, it doesn’t mean that it has any basis in reality. The reason why one is able to experience intimacy is likely to come down to the fact that this is what feels comfortable. Opening Up Therefore, when they open up to someone they are close to, it is not going to cause them to feel bad. Now, this is not to say that they won’t have moments when they will talk about things that will make their heart beat faster or cause their temperature rise. But this is not going to be the same as one opening up about their life and feeling as though something bad will happen. They will be able to open up without having to worry about how the other person will respond. Self-Image What this is going to show is that one has a positive view of themselves, with this being what allows them to open up. Thus, even if they were to open up and the other person didn’t respond in a positive manner, it doesn’t mean that they would take it personally. One is going to value themselves, and this is why they will have people in their life who value them. What is taking place around them is then nothing more than a reflection of what is taking place within them. A Different Experience When one doesn’t feel comfortable with themselves, it may have set them up to develop a false-self. This will have caused them to disconnect from their true needs and feelings, and is naturally going to stop them from being able to develop close relationships with others. The downside to this is that the wont have deep connections with others; the upside to this is that they will be less likely to feel bad about themselves. As if they were to open up to someone, they could end up feeling worthless. Protection Playing a role will allow them to function, but it won’t allow them to have a fulfilling existence. Yet, if one believes that they are inherently flawed and that other people would reject and/or abandon them if they found out, it is going to be normal for them to behave in this way. What this comes down to is that one’s primary need is to survive and, as revealing their true-self is seen as something that will put their life at risk, it will be pushed to one side. Their so-called higher needs will be overlooked and their lower needs will have taken over. Exposed When one talks about their true feelings and what is actually going on for them, they will be revealing their true-self. This is something that will cause them to feel extremely uncomfortable. So unless they are able to open up without feeling this way, their life is unlikely to change. But even though one feels worthless, it doesn’t mean that this is the truth; it is likely to be the result of how other people have treated them. A Closer Look During their younger years, they may have been abused and/or neglected by their caregiver’s. How they were treated would have set them up to believe that there is something wrong with them. Along with the beliefs that were formed, there would have been the toxic shame that permeated their whole being. This is likely to have been the time when they had no other choice than to develop a false-self. Awareness How they feel about themselves doesn’t reflect who they are, and this is why one doesn’t have to experience life in this way forever. The trauma that is with them will need to be dealt with in order for them to change their life. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Recently, there have been a number of terrorist attacks in England and, naturally, this has had a big effect on the country. However, this is not the only country in Europe that has been affected in his way.
Normal These kinds of attacks are becoming a regular occurrence in the western world, at least in some countries. As result of this, it is not going to be long until some people come to accept what is taking place. Having said that, there is the chance that there are already a number of people who have already arrived at this point. And along with what has been taking place in Europe, there is also what has taken place in America and the Middle East. Less Exposure When something happens in Europe or America, it is not going to be long until the mainstream media focus on it. On the other hand, if something like this happens in the Middle East, it can end up being overlooked. It can then seem as though some people’s lives are more important than others, and this is something that angers a lot of people. Fortunately, if someone does want to keep up to date with what is taking place around them, they can go online and do their own research. A Number of Experiences After an attack has taken place, there will be the effect it has on the friends and family of the people who are murdered, and if there are any survivors, there will be what they have gone through and what they will go through now that it is over. So when it comes to the former, the people they are close to are going to suffer even though they were not with them when it happened. Yet, if they did have friends and/or family with them when it happened, it can be even harder for these people to come to terms with what has take place. No Longer the Same But regardless of whether someone was with them when it happened or miles away, it doesn’t mean that it will be any different in the long run. Ultimately, they will have lost someone who they were close to, and this will be enough to cause them to experience a lot of pain. These people’s lives won’t be the same again, and they might need a lot of support just to get by each day. When it comes to the people who have survived, their bodies might no longer be the same and/or they could be in a bad way. A Number of Consequences Due to what they have been through, they might end up with post traumatic stress, and it is then not going to be possible for them to just carry on with their life. They might find that they are unable to function at work, or they might not even feel safe enough to leave their house, amongst other things. It doesn’t stop there though, as there will be the effect this will have on people in general. The majority of these people won’t have been anywhere near what took place, but that doesn’t mean that they will be able to carry on as normal. Conflict Nevertheless, even if someone can’t just carry on with their life, they could come to believe that this is the best thing for them to do. The reason for this is that the mainstream media, as well as other sources, will tell them that this is what they need to do. This is not to say that this is something that will always happen directly, as it might not be this black and white. But no matter what they are told, it could be said that the main priority will be to make sure that they disconnect from their true feelings. Business as Usual One way of looking at this would be to say that the best thing will be for people to carry on as normal. Through taking this approach, it will allow them to live their life as opposed to giving even more power to the people who want to kill them. If someone ended up being communed with fear and anxiety, this wouldn’t take place. The same could be said if one become overwhelmed with anger; this would also stop them from being able to function, and they might even end up harming innocent people. A Positive Along with the mainstream media telling people to carry on as normal and to stand together, there is also likely to be a focus on how well the emergency services did. And, based on how these people responded, this can cause them feel as though they are in safe hands. Another way of looking at this would be to say that people are being encouraged to disconnect from the part of them that wants to keep them alive. Through being out of touch with the information that is within then, it is highly unlikely that anything will change; in fact, it is likely to get a whole lot worse. A Purpose Although there are certain emotions that are seen as good and some that are seen as bad, it doesn’t mean that this has any basis in reality. Each emotion that one has is there for a reason. When one’s life is under threat and they feel as though they can’t do anything about it, they will experience fear and anxiety. But when it is under threat and they don’t feel powerless, they will experience anger. Emotional Containment Now, this doesn’t mean that one has to lose control when they experience anger; what it means is that they will pay attention to the information that is within them and look into what they can do. This is going to be far better than if they were to stick their head in the sand and to act as though everything is fine, or to be overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. For example, when one disconnects from their anger, it will be a lot easier for people to walk over them. The part of them that is there to tell them that something isn’t right is going to be out of action. Conclusion By telling people to carry on as normal and not to take a step back and ask why these terrorist attacks are taking place, it creates the impression that there is nothing that can be done to stop them. Someone can then disconnect from their anger and it can cause them to feel completely powerless. Through being in this state, it is going to be a lot easier to control them, and this will appeal not only to the terrorists, it will also appeal to the people behind the scenes, so to peak. What is clear is that the right questions need to be asked and the right steps need to be taken.
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When one gets to the end of their day, they might look back on what has happened, and this could be a time when they will see what good and bad things have taken place. Even so, they could believe that this is simply part of life.
One Step Further If they were to engage in this process for a week, they may find that there are other days that have a blend of good and bad experiences. And the same thing is also likely to occur if they did this for a month. Having said that, there is the chance that one won’t label each experience as being either good or bad. Instead, they could see how certain experiences have challenged them and are forcing them to grow. A Pattern And if they were to see that a number of experiences have had a negative effect on them, they might look into why his keeps happening. This will give them the chance to do something about it. For example, one could find that they have the tendency to come into contact with people who try to walk over them. So, by taking a step back and looking what part they are playing in all this, there will be no reason for them to see themselves as a victim. Stuck If, on the other hand, they were to perceive themselves in this way, it is highly unlikely that their life would change. They would have no other choice than to put up with what is taking place and to blame others. As a result of this, this area of their life (as well as many others) would be in other people’s hands, so to speak, and there wouldn’t be anything they could do to change it. It could be said that one will have the right approach when they can take a step back and see why something negative is happening to them. A Different Outlook When one responds to life in this way, it is going to be clear that they don’t see themselves as being powerless. One might see that even though they don’t have control over everything, that doesn’t mean that they have no control. It is then through focusing on what they can control that allows them to experience a sense of empowerment. This is naturally going to have a positive effect on their wellbeing, and it will cause them to believe that they can achieve their goals. Evidence In addition to this, there is likely to be what they have already achieved through having this outlook. There could be a number of areas in their life that are going as they would like them to go, with a few that need more attention. But even if this is not the case, they are going to have the inner belief to do something about it. If someone was to look at how they experience life, they could see them as being ‘lucky’; that’s if they don’t know anything about them. An Inaccurate Conclusion Due to how this person has perceived them, it is going to stop them from being able to realise that there is a reason why one experiences life in this way. There is how they perceive themselves on one hand and there is how this causes them to behave on the other. Yet, if someone is close to them, they will be only too aware of the fact that one is not ‘lucky’. They will see that what it taking place externally is the result of what is taking place within them, and their life could be the same. Another Identity However, there are plenty of people on this planet who see themselves differently, and it is then going to be normal for them to see themselves as a victim. Consequently, other people are going to be seen as having power over them. This is going to mean that one has no other choice than to tolerate the bad things that happened, and the only way their life will change is if other people do. Based on this, their life is unlikely to get better; in fact, it is likely to get a lot worse as time goes by. A Benefit At the same time, it would be wrong to say that there won’t be any benefits to behaving in this way. It could be said that these benefits won’t be as good as the ones they would receive if they saw themselves differently, but they will still have a positive effect on their life. After all, if one didn’t get anything from being a victim, there would be no reason for them to act like one; this is what is often described as ‘secondary gain’. So no matter how destructive it is for them to behave in this way, it is giving them something (or a number of things). Special Treatment Now, this is not to say that one is aware of what this is; it could be something that they have no awareness of. Through acting a like a victim, one may find that it allows them to experience control in an indirect manner. People can end up feeling sorry for them, and this will give them the chance to receive attention, sympathy and a number of other resources. Ultimately, one will be manipulating others through coming across as a victim. Deep Down If they were to get in touch with what is taking place within them, they may find that they feel powerless. And even though feeling this way is not serving them, it is likely to be what feels safe. What this can show is that one believes that the only way for them to survive is to act like a victim. Changing their behaviour it will be seen as something that will put their survival at risk. Awareness This could be a sign that one is carrying trauma, and this could be something they experienced during their early years. During this time, they may have been abused and/or neglected by their caregiver’s. If one can relate to this and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
While there are some people who experience anxiety from time to time, there are others who experience it on a regular basis. There is then going to be a big difference when it comes to their day-to-day life.
An Anomaly Now, if one doesn’t have anxiety problems, they could end up seeing themselves as the exception. What this comes down to is that they may have heard a lot about people who suffer from anxiety in the media. In addition to this, they may know a number of people who also have the same problem. As a result of this, they might wonder why this is something that effects so many people. The Right Time When it comes to the moments when they experience anxiety, they might know why this is taking place. For example, if one was to start a new job or if they had an exam, this is something that may arise. Consequently, one can make sure that they prepare themselves in the right way; whereas if they didn’t feel this way, it could stop this from taking place. In this case, what is taking place within them is serving them. Focus So, through being anxious, it will enable them to be aware of things that they wouldn’t have been aware of otherwise. And once they are aware of what they need to do, they can take the appropriate action. In the short-term, it can cause them to feel uncomfortable but, in the long-term, it is likely to have a positive effect on their life. Once whatever they were preparing for has passed, they could soon settle back down again. Self-Expression What this is going to mean is that they are not going to feel on edge when they are around their friends, or when they are around others. It will be possible for them to be in the moment and to express their true-self. One will be in touch with their true needs and feelings, and there will be no reason for them to please others. And through being at ease around others, it will allow them to respond as opposed to react. Part of Life If one was to think about how they experience life, there is the chance that they have been this way for as long as they can remember. This can then be something that they just take for granted. On the other hand, they might not have been this way for very long. One is then going to be only too aware of what it is like to suffer from anxiety, and this could cause them to feel grateful for how their life is. Two Extremes If they were to think about how their life used to be, they might struggle to relate to it. Thus, even though they still live on the same planet, it could be as if they have gone to another one. But while this will be how one now experiences life, there are going to be plenty of others who won’t be able to relate to this. There will be how they have experienced life in the past and how they continue to experience it. Normal In the example above, one is generally going to experience anxiety when it is appropriate, but when it comes to someone who doesn’t experience life in this way; they can experience it when it is not appropriate. It is then not that one is just experiencing anxiety; it can be as if they have been completely consumed by it. This will be the difference between someone experiencing pain in one area of their body and their whole body being in pain. So, when they experience anxiety, it is going to cause them to lose themselves. Relationships It won’t matter if they have an exam coming up or an interview, as they will still feel the same. What they could find is that they usually feel on edge when they are around other people. There can be the effect this has on them when they are around their friends and family, and the impact it has on them when they are around strangers. It is then irrelevant as to whether one actually knows someone or not. Point of Focus Through being this way around others, it is likely to cause them to disconnect from their needs and feelings. Their primary concern will probably be to make sure that they don’t do anything that will displease others. This is going to stop them from being able to behave how they want; they will need to monitor their behaviour at all times. A few people might know who they are, while the rest may only know the role that they play. A Drain Naturally, being on guard so often is going to cause them to use a lot of energy. They may find that the only time they are able to relax is when they are in their own company. Having said that, this could be a time when their mind is out of control, and it is then not going to be much different. One way of looking at what they are going through would be to say that one needs to settle their mind down. One Approach This would be based on the outlook that one’s thoughts are in control of how they feel. Therefore, if they change what is taking place in their head, they will gradually be able to feel more at peace. If one was to take a look at what is taking place in their mind, they may find that they fear that other people will reject them. There will be people who don’t accept them, but that doesn’t mean that they have to allow these people to define their life. A Deeper Look Another approach would be for them to get in touch with that is taking place in their body, and this could be a time when they will feel rejected in their chest. It will then be inaccurate to say that they fear being rejected, as they already feel this way. If they were to go deeper and to see what is underneath this feeling, they could find that they feel worthless just above their stomach. And if they feel worthless, they can believe that other people will abandon them if they find out how flawed they are (and one can also feel this feeling in their chest). Awareness What this will then show is that even though they have anxiety problems, this is just what is taking place on the surface. In order for one to change their life, it will be necessary for them to deal with what is taking place at a deeper level. Ultimately, one is going to be carrying trauma, and this could be due to what took place when they were younger. Perhaps this was a time when they were abused and/or neglected by their caregiver/s. If one can relate to this and they want to change their life, they may need to work with a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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