One of the ways that someone can change their behaviour, what is taking place within them, and their relationships, is to heal their inner child. Or to be more precise; to heal the inner children that are within them.
What this comes down to is that although many, many years may have passed since they were a child, it doesn’t mean that what happened all those years ago is actually in the past. There is the chance that a lot of the painful feelings that they experienced throughout their childhood years are still within them. Inner Experience If someone is carrying a lot of pain, and they were to connect with the feelings that are within them, they may find that they start to regress. Then again, they may find that it is generally a challenge for them to stay connected to their adult self. It will then be clear that the emotional pain that is within them is making it hard for them to feel like an empowered human being. One way of looking at this would be to say that they will spend a lot of time being merged with one of their inner children Different Ages, Different Places There may be times when they connect with one of their inner children and they will be around six, while at another time they might be even younger. In addition to this, they may see that they are not always in the same environment. Still, if someone feels overwhelmed by how they feel, it might not be possible for them to become aware of how old they are or where they are. They may find that their primary concern is to simply feel better. One Need This could then be a time when they will feel the need to try to remove how they feel, seeing this as the way to feel better. However, the way for them to heal their inner children is not going to be to remove anything, it will be to allow this part of them to speak out. Ultimately, the different parts that are within them will want to be heard and acknowledged. It is highly likely that the reason why they have these parts within them is because they didn’t receive the presence that they needed as a child. Two Experiences Perhaps their caregivers were rarely there and, even if they were physically there, they might not rarely been emotionally there. For whatever reason, they wouldn’t have been able to provide the presence that they needed to grow and develop. At the same time, it might not have been this black and white, meaning that they may have just been a few moments in their early years that had a big effect on them. At this point in their life, it is likely that what happened is not as important to them as what they can do to move forward. A Gradual Process Getting in touch with the parts that are within them and allowing them to speak out will be essential. At times they may just need to be with these split-off parts of themselves and at others, they might end up crying. It will be important that they don’t try to stop themselves form crying, as crying will be a big part of the healing process. And, as these parts are able to express what wasn’t expressed all those years ago, they will gradually begin to lose their emotional charge and to even integrate with the rest of them. External Support During the early stages of this process, one may need to reach out for external support, with this being something that they only need from time to time after a little while. A therapist or a healer, for instance, will provide the strength that they haven’t yet developed internally, along with the presence that they have yet to embody. In the same way that scaffolding on a building will keep an unstable wall in place; their support will stop one from being too overwhelmed to make progress and to go where they wouldn’t go by themselves. Needing this support doesn’t mean that they are weak or incapable, though; it simply means that they didn’t get what they needed as a child and are now doing the sensible thing by reaching out for what they need to transform their life. The Other Side Giving these parts what they didn’t get all those years ago, and allowing them to express themselves, will have a big effect on just about every area of their life. Thus, the time and energy that one puts into being with these parts will end up paying off in the long run. Their behaviour will change, they will experience different feelings and they will have different thoughts, which will influence their relationships. They may even get to the point where connecting to their inner child is no longer painful and it actually empowers them. A Positive Influence For example, this part of them will be able to see them in a more objective light, allowing it to shine the light on how far they have come. So, while one might not believe that they have made much progress, this part of them will be able to see a clear difference. A child part of them will be looking at the adult part of them, with their being no doubt to this part of them that a lot has changed. This part of them can then serve as their inner cheerleader, giving them support, love and a sense of perspective when they need it. Awareness When this happens, one is receiving good things from within and not having to take in good things from without. In other words, it will be an upload instead of a download. This illustrates how powerful inner child work can be.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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Relationships: Are Some Men Too Emotionally Underdeveloped To Have A Relationship With A Woman?14/11/2018
It is not uncommon for a woman to complain about how she keeps ending up with men who are emotionally unavailable, and it would be easy to say that a woman like this is incredibly unlucky. Time after time, she ends up experiencing the same outcome - it can then seem as though men need to get it together.
Yet, to place the onus on men in general and to overlook the part that the woman is playing in particular would be to say that this woman has no effect on this area of her life. This area of her life is then going to be completely out of her control. Two Parts Ultimately, whenever two people are drawn together, there is always what is going on for one person and what is going on for the other. Still, unless both people are aware of what part they have played in being drawn to the other (or at the very least willing to look into why this is), it will be normal for them to feel powerless or taken advantage of. If a woman can see that she continually attracts a certain type of man, this will give her the ability to see that it is not just a case of being unlucky. Likewise, if she was to continually hit the bullseye of a target or to get one promotion after another, she probably wouldn’t say that she is just lucky. An Easy Decision If, after attracting one man after another who is the same, she is ready to look into why this is, it will allow her to gradually transform her life. It won’t be easy to do this, though; the easy option will be to continue to feel like a victim. Through going within and seeing how she feels at a deeper level, she may find that she has some emotional wounds to deal with. These are most likely the result of what took place during her early years. The Other Side When it comes to a man who is emotionally unavailable, there could be a number of reasons as to why this is. For one thing, he may have just broken up with his ex and still be emotionally attached to her. Alternatively, it could show that the man just doesn’t feel the need to take things further with the woman. Therefore, if he was to meet a woman who is different, he might be only too happy to take things further. It’s Not an Option Then again, the man may be this way due to what took place during the beginning of his life, meaning that it won’t simply be due to what happened with an ex. The only thing that the man will be able to offer will be his mind and his body, with this heart being offline. If a woman was to expect anything more from the man, it would cause her to suffer unnecessarily. Deep down, this man could be carrying a lot of pain, pain that will have caused his heart to close up. A False-Self But, while he can be carrying a lot of emotional baggage, it doesn’t mean that this will be clear to see. There is the chance that the man will have developed a strong exterior, allowing him to come across as confident, capable and as though he has it all together. The image that they present to the world will then belie what is really taking place within them. Nonetheless, the mask that he wears will stop him from being able to emotionally connect to other human beings. Two Needs Consequently, this will leave him with the need to share his body and to fulfil his minds needs. There can also be the need to gain approval from others and to be seen in a certain way. What this will illustrate is that a big part of him is going to be focused on what he can get from others, not on what he can give. Behind the image that he presents to the world, could be someone who feels more like a boy than a man. Not Ready If this is the case, he is not going to be looking for a woman to be with; what he will be looking for is a mother. By feeling like a boy deep down and needing a mother, it is not going to be possible for him to see a woman as a human being. In addition to seeing women as mother figures, he may also have the tendency to see men as father figures. The wounded boy that is within him can be looking for the nurturance that he didn’t get from his own mother and the support and guidance that he didn’t get from his own father. Awareness In order for him to no longer feel like a boy and to be able to relate differently to women, it will be vital for him to work through the emotional wounds that are within him. This will allow him to gradually reveal his true-self and to fully show up. If a man can relate to this, and wants to change his life, he may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Relationships: Is It Harder For Someone To Leave An Abusive Relationship If They Feel Worthless?13/11/2018
If someone was to end up in a relationship that is abusive, there are at least two things that they can do. They can end up cutting their ties and moving on, or they can put up with what is taking place.
If they end up drawing the line and decide to move on, it will be clear that they are not willing to tolerate this kind of behaviour. It might have been as if something within them came to life and caused them to assert themselves. An Analogy One way of looking at this would be to say that being with someone like this had a similar effect to what a flame would have on their hand. If a flame was under their hand, they would instantly feel the need to pull it away. In the same way, being around someone who treats them badly will have also given them the need to move themselves out of harm’s way. This will show that one is working with themselves. Taking a Break Once they have ended the relationship, they may not want to speak to their ex again. In the same way that they would have no interest in putting food in their mouth that they didn’t like the last time they eat it – they will have no interest in talking to someone who caused them to feel uncomfortable last time they were with them. They may decide to stay single for a while and to focus on another area of their life. Taking this approach will give them the chance to cleanse themselves of all the negativity that they picked up from their ex. Another Experience On the other hand, if someone doesn’t move on, it is going to be as if they are willing to tolerate this kind of behaviour. Unlike the person above, there is not something within them that has come to life, allowing them to get away from this person. Nonetheless, even though their body won’t be going anywhere, it doesn’t mean that their mind will be on board with what is taking place. Their mind may be filled with thoughts that relate to how they would love to leave the person they are with. No Choice Additionally, they may also experience a number of different feelings that prove how dissatisfied they are with what is taking place. Due to the thoughts and feelings that they experience, one could see themselves a victim. They are going to be in a situation that they don’t want to be in, yet they will believe that there is nothing they can do about it. The person they are with is then going to be in control of their life. Something Is Not Right This persons hand is then going to be above a flame, but for some reason, they are not going to move it. So, just like an autoimmune disease, one is not going to be working with themselves. Another way of looking at it would be to say that one will be in a car that won’t start, resulting in them being stranded in a very dangerous area. Let’s say that they have gone on safari and their car is surrounded by lions. The Reason What this can show is that deep down, how they feel when they are in an abusive relationship, is what feels comfortable. This can be a time when they feel powerless, fearful, helpless, hopeless and worthless, for instance. These feelings could be a big part of their identity, which means that they wouldn’t know who they were if they didn’t feel this way. To their ego mind, feeling this way can be what is familiar and, therefore, what feels safe. Two Levels The trouble is that if one is not aware of what is taking place at a deeper level and is only aware of what is taking place in their head, they won’t be able to see why they would experience life in this way. It will then be normal for them to believe that they are being victimised by another person, as opposed to being victimised by their own wounds. The reason why they feel comfortable experiencing these feelings is most likely due to what took place during the beginning of their life. This may have been a time when they felt powerless, fearful and worthless on a regular basis. A Match Being in a relationship with someone who allows them to re-experience how they felt as a child is then going to be exactly what their unconscious mind wants. It is then not that they randomly ended up with someone like this; it was by design. The aggressive part of their nature - the part that would allow them to get away from someone like this and to protect themselves - is not going to be on their side. This part of them will most likely be directed against them, causing them to verbally abuse themselves. Awareness Once ones identity is no longer dependent upon them feeling powerless, worthless and helpless, for instance, and they are able to integrate their aggression, they will no longer feel comfortable experiencing life in this way. What this illustrates is that their ego mind can get attached to and feel comfortable with anything; it doesn’t matter if it is empowering or life affirming. If someone can relate to this, and they want to transform their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Relationships: Why Do Some Men Put Up With Bad Behaviour When They Are In A Relationship?12/11/2018
Although some men will have certain standards when they are in a relationship, there are going to be others who don’t. As a result of this, not every man is going to have same experience when they are with a woman.
When it comes to the former, a man like this is not going to get carried away, allowing him to be true to himself. So, no matter how strongly he is attracted to the woman, this is not going to cause him to put up with bad behaviour. A Different Story This is not going to be the case when it seems to the latter, though; a man like this is going to end up ignoring himself. Consequently, the attraction that he feels for the woman will cause him to overlook any bad behaviour that arises. The woman he is with will then have free rein to do practically anything she wants and the man will simply tolerate it. One way of looking at it would be to say that he will basically be a doormat. A Destructive path Not only will this make it hard for the man to respect himself, it will also make it hard for the woman to respect him. She will know that he will rarely, if ever, push back, seeing him as someone who lacks backbone. This is then likely to be a relationship that won’t last for very long and if it does, it is not going to be a very fulfilling relationship for either of them. If it does last, it will probably show that both of them have their own issues. Two Experiences From the outside, it may seem as though the woman enjoys treating the man badly and the man enjoys being treated badly by the woman. One of them is then sadistic and the other is masochistic. The average person, after looking at this dynamic, could wonder why these two people don’t just cut their ties and put an end up their unhealthy relationship. However, even though it is unhealthy, it is serving both of them. A Different Outcome Alternatively, a woman could end up with a man like this and end up walking away as soon as it becomes clear that he is unable to stand his ground. After a certain period of time, his behaviour would have caused her attraction to him to disappear. But, while this would have stopped the man from being with someone who treated him like dirt, it doesn’t mean that he will be pleased with what has taken place. Instead, he can end up being negatively affected by it. Self-Harm What is relatively clear is that a man doesn’t value himself if he puts up with bad behaviour in a relationship. If he did, he would have clear idea about what he will accept and what he won’t accept. Through being this way, it may have meant that he didn’t take the time to get to know the woman in the beginning. The fact that this woman was attracted to him may have been enough. A Big Factor Perhaps the woman he is with is fairly attractive, with this being something that pulled him in from the outset. Her appearance would then have consumed him and defined the view that he formed of her. Being with a woman like this would have made him feel good about himself and it would have been seen as something that made him look good in the eyes of others. In other words, this would allow him to receive a fair amount of approval. The Priority In addition to the fact that he doesn’t value himself, there is the chance that he has a strong fear of being rejected and/or abandoned. Thus, once he has got emotionally attached to a woman, the last thing he will want is for her to leave him. If this was to take place, it would trigger a strong feeling of being rejected and/or abandoned. In a way, it will be as though this woman serves a similar function to that of a cork in a bottle; her presence will help to keep his pain at bay. A Small Price To pay Being treated badly, and even humiliated from time to time, will be bad, but it won’t be as bad as how it would be if she was to leave him. So, if she was to walk away, he would have to come into contact with all the pain that is within him. This could result in him hitting rock bottom, and he may even end up feeling suicidal, which will be the last thing that he wants to experience. With this in mind, regardless of if a man like this is in a relationship or not, his inner world will need to change in order for him to change his behaviour. When the past is Present If a man like this was to reflect on what took place during the beginning of his life, he may find that this was a time when he was neglected. This would have caused him to experience a lot of pain and it would have set him up to believe that he was worthless. Also, he may have had a least one caregiver who treated him as if he had no value. The view that this person had, as well as others, would then have been internalised and formed part of his view of himself. Awareness For him to change his behaviour, it will be necessary for him to gradually detach from the view that he has of himself and to embrace his inherent worth. Dealing with the trauma that is within him will be a big part of this. If a man can relate to any of this, and he wants to change his behaviour, he may need to reach out for external support. This can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
It could be said that although rejection is part of life, there are some people who experience it more than others. Now, at times this will be due to how someone lives their life.
For example, let’s say that someone is an entrepreneur, who is constantly putting their ideas in front of different people. Someone like this will end up taking more risks (calculated risks), meaning that they are not going to have the same degree of acceptance that they might have if they had a normal job. Dating Alternatively, someone could be at the point in their life where they are looking for someone to have a relationship with. One could then be going out on a regular basis in order to meet their match. If one is a man who is approaching different women, as opposed to a woman who might just be able to wait for a man to come to her, for instance, he is naturally going to experience a fair amount of rejection. But, in cases like this, the rejection that they experience is simply a means to an end. A Big Difference This is naturally different to someone who doesn’t just experience rejection from time to time but who, more or less, always experiences rejection. Along with what happens externally, they might also have the tendency to feel rejected for no apparent reason. Thus, it won’t matter what is taking place externally, as it is not going to stop them from feeling as though they are not accepted and that they are worthless. It is then not a feeling comes and goes; it is something that has taken root in their being. Unaware However, even though this will be a feeling that has become a big part of their life, it doesn’t mean that one will realise this. Consequently, it might seem as though they only experience life in this way due to what is taking place externally. And, as a result of what is taking place within them, they will also feel rejected even when they haven’t been rejected. It will be as if they are wearing special glasses, with these glasses defining how they interpret other people’s behaviour. A Common Occurrence If someone like this is in a relationship, they may find that their partner doesn’t treat them very well. Yet, instead of doing something about it or ending the relationship, they choose to put up with what is taking place. They might struggle to remember when they last felt accepted and appreciated by this person, which might show how dysfunctional their relationship is. If they were to look back on their life, they may find that their past relationships were no different. Another Scenario Alternatively, someone like this could still be mulling over their last relationship, even though it ended many months ago and wasn’t functional. Doing this could cause them to feel rejected and as though they have no value. Ergo, even though it won’t have been a fulfilling relationship, they are still going to be craving the person who treated them badly. Along with this, they could have moments when they wonder what it would be like to be with someone who is different. It Does Feel Right Still, if they were to meet someone who is different and this ended up going further, there is a strong chance that they would soon lose interest. This person is not going to treat them in a way that will support how they feel on the inside. It then won’t matter if they wanted to be with someone who accepted them before the relationship began, as this won’t be what a bigger part of them wanted. This part of them will only feel comfortable if they are with someone who validates how they feel in the inside. Two Parts Consciously, then, it could be said that one will want to feel accepted and to be accepted by others, but, unconsciously, this is not something that feels safe. As feeling rejected is what feels safe at a deeper level, it will be as though feeling this way is part of who they are. Ultimately, their ego can form an identity around anything; it doesn’t matter if it is empowering or disempowering. The only thing that matters is that it is familiar, with what is familiar being what is safe. Death Therefore, if one was to let go of this feeling and no longer felt rejected all the time, it would be as though they had lost themselves. They will only know who they are when they feel rejected, so to no longer feel this way would be experienced as a loss. At one point in their life, their ego mind would have come to associate feeling rejected as what felt safe. And, as the days and weeks went by, feeling this way would have gradually become part of their identity. Way Back What this can show is that their early years were a time when they were abused and/or neglected. Being treated this way would have caused them to experience a lot of pain, but there wouldn’t have been anything that they could do about it. Experiencing all this pain and being treated badly wouldn’t have been good for them, yet it would have ended up being what felt comfortable. Being treated differently, even if it meant being treated with love, would have been seen as a threat to their survival. Awareness If someone takes all this into account, it will allow them to understand why they are hooked on feeling bad. Their behaviour may have been seen as irrational before, but now it will make more sense. If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they might need to reach out for external support. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
There are some people who believe that they only have one life, and, once our current life is over, that will be it. If someone has this view, they can believe that someone would need to be crazy to believe anything else.
They will have made their mind up and there is not going to be much chance of them changing it. There are then going to be others who believe that this is the view that someone will have if they have a closed mind. A Different Form Someone like this could say that as human beings are made of energy, it is not possible for them to die. Therefore, how someone currently experiences life will come to an end at some point, but their essence will still exist. The part that survives, after their physical body/space suit has shut down, will then be seen as something that will go into another body. It is then not that one has one life and that’s the end of it - there is a lot more to it. Two Ways Along with the lives that someone will have in the ‘future’, there will be the lives that they will have had in the ‘past’. At the same time, they may say that the past and the future are happening right now, with time being an illusion. So, no matter what one’s life is like right now, they may have had lives in the past that were radically different. Each life could be seen as an opportunity for them to grow and develop. Different Places, Different Races In this life, someone might be black but in another life they may have been white, or vice versa. They may also have been born on the other side of the planet in another life or in another country. Upon reflection, this may cause someone to come to the conclusion that the colour of their skin doesn’t really mean anything in the grand scheme of things. With this understanding, they can fully indentify with their race and, allow this to define how they treat people who look different, for instance, or they can see it as just another illusion. A Positive Influence They may even find that they were the opposite gender in the past or, if not their last life, the life before that. What has taken place in the past may fill them with strength, making it easier for them to handle their current challenges. One will then be tapping into the power that they had in a previous life, using it to empower themselves in their current life. This can allow them to realise that they are more than their current circumstances. Side by Side When this takes place, one will be in this life and they will be utilising what has happened in the ‘past’. As a result of this, what took place in their ‘other lives’ won’t stop them from being able to live this life. It would, naturally, be a waste for them to become completely absorbed in what happened in the past. The life that they have would end up being overlooked, with their focus being on what they went through, not on what they are going through. Another Escape Focusing on their past lives will be a way for them to avoid their current life, which can show how painful and unfulfilling it is. And, if one is convinced, for instance, that they were an important historical figure in the past, this is going to make it even harder for them to embrace what is going on right now. The trouble is that the longer one focuses on the past and overlooks what is going on now, the worse their life is likely to get. Also, if they carry on in this way, they won’t be able to look back on this life in their next life and feel empowered. A Distraction Looking into what has happened in their past won’t have assisted them; it will have just made their life even worse. Their ego may have also become inflated, too, with this part of them believing that this proves that they are superior to others and that they are right. So, instead of aiding their evolution on this planet, it will have created another block on their path. In order for their life to change, it will be essential for them to spend less time thinking about what happened in their other lives and to focus on what is happening in their current life. A Closer Look If doing this causes them to experience pain, it will be a good idea to look into why they are in pain. What they may find, through doing this, is that they feel powerless, as though they have no value, and disconnected. Being into past lives will be way for them to feel empowered, to experience a sense of value, and to keep their inner emptiness at bay. This could be how they first felt during the beginning of their life. Awareness If one can relate to this, and they no longer want to run away from their pain, they may need to reach out for external support. This can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk True-Self: Does Someone Need Approval From Others If They’re Out Of Touch With Their True-Self?8/11/2018
If someone doesn’t feel good about themselves, it can be normal for them to look towards others for approval. This can then result in them doing what other people want, or they can try to achieve things.
In their eyes, what they need to feel better will be given to them by people who they know and/or by people who they don’t know. So, although it might not matter who gives them approval, they may have a clear idea about who they want it to come from. Strangers But, regardless of what type of people they want approval from, they might not know a great deal about any of them. Let’s say that they want approval from people who are physically attractive and/or who are famous, it doesn’t mean that these people are more together than others. In fact, these are likely to be people who have reached a certain level in the status game and/or who look a certain way who are empty human beings. One will then be looking towards people who are, ultimately, no better off than them A Strong Compulsion However, due to how they feel about themselves, it can be as if these types of people have what that they themselves need. This will stop them from being able to realise that a lot of these people will be putting on an act. Thus, behind the image that they present to the world will be a very different person. And, if this mask was to fall off, or if they were to longer receive approval from others, they might soon fall down. The Bar Has Been Set Low Fortunately, if one does want to become famous, it won’t be necessary for them to be talented or to even develop a talent. Thanks to reality TV, for instance, one might only need to get naked or to have sex on TV. If, then, one is happy to objectify themselves in order to raise their profile, they might be good to go. Sure, this will undoubtedly set them up to be put down by a lot of people, but along with this, there will be the approval and attention that comes with it. It’s Not There Regardless of what route someone takes to receive approval from others, it will be clear that they are unable to receive approval from themselves. It will then be no different to how one will need to receive food as they are unable to produce food internally. Looking within for approval is likely to only cause them to feel bad about themselves, which is why they look externally for it. The only option they have then, to feel a better about themselves, is to look towards others to give them what they don’t have within themselves. Another Experience Along with the people who are like this, are going to be the people who don’t look towards others for approval. Somehow, they will be able to source approval from within themselves. It could then be said that someone like this is different to even ‘special’, with this being the reason why they experience life differently. If someone does experience life in this way, it could be how their life has more or less always been. The Reason One way to look at this would be to say that someone like this doesn’t need approval due to what is taking place in their head. Unlike the person who needs approval from others, this person will generally have positive thoughts. These thoughts will allow them to feel about themselves and, as a result of this, they will experience supportive feelings. With this in mind, the way for someone to let go of the need for approval will be for them to change what is taking place in their head. A Download Therefore, in the same way that one might update their laptop by downloading software, they will need to update their mind by taking in new software. After this has taken place for a little while, their need for approval will start to subside. At the same time, one may find that this ends up being a battle, causing them to only get so far. They could end up coming across information that tells that they need to use their will power to push through this stage; if they do, their life will gradually change. Another Approach Another way of looking at this would be to say that the reason why someone would need approval from others is due to the being out of touch with their body. Or if they are in touch with their body, what they are not in touch with their true essence. Either way, the emotional support that is available in their body is not going to be getting through to them. Their mind is then going to be like a lake without water; it will be barren and dry. An Upload To get the water flowing again, and to bring life back into the rest of them, they will need to deal with what is blocking the flow. When it relates to a blocked lake, there can be all kinds of debris that needs to be removed; in the case of a mind that is blocked from the support of the body, it can show that there is trauma that needs to be resolved. This trauma will be what is stopping them from being able to tap into the emotional support that is within them. As this build up is worked through, the good stuff that is within them will begin to flow up. Awareness The trauma that is within them could have been caused by what they have experienced during their adult years and/or it could go back to what happened at the beginning of their life. If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk Critical Thinking: Does The ‘Chemical Imbalance’ Theory Show How Disconnected We Have Become?7/11/2018
Nowadays, it is not uncommon for someone to suffer from mental and emotional problems. This is then not going to be something that they struggle with from time to time and can, therefore, put to one side; it will be something that makes it hard for them to handle their day-to-day life.
If someone was to find themselves in this position, they could end up coming to the conclusion they have a ‘chemical imbalance’. Ergo, the reason why they are experiencing life in this way is due what is taking place in their head. An Analogy One way to get a greater understanding of what is taking place would be to imagine a car that is low on oil and how this will stop it from being able to work properly. Once the car has been topped up with oil, though, everything will be fine. So, as soon as one is able to rebalance the chemicals that are in their brain, their life will gradually begin to change. Perhaps one has been this way for a number of months or maybe even a few years. A Welcome Relief Alternatively, they have been this way for a as long as they can remember, meaning that they might not know what is it like to experience life differently. Yet, irrespective of how long have been this way for, they are undoubtedly going to want their life to change as a soon as possible. Thankfully, they will have a clear idea why their life is the way it is and what needs to be done for it to change. What this is likely to involve is taking at least one pill, with this being something that they will need to do for the rest of their life. A Few Steps Back Now, it is highly unlikely that one came to the conclusion that they have a chemical imbalance after an enlightening dream or by spending time in nature, for instance. No, this is likely to be something that one came to believe after a visit to their Doctor. If this wasn’t the case, it could have been the result of what they had read online or in a book. After hearing this, they may have believed that it would only be a matter of time before their life would change. A Faulty Brain Consequently, their brain is not going to be working properly and this could be put down to their genetics, for instance. If this is so, what their caregivers passed onto them will be why they are experiencing life in this way. What this also means is that the experiences that they have had throughout their life won’t have had an effect on their brain. It will be as if their brain is separate from life itself; having an effect on their life but not being affected it. One Way Traffic One way to look at all this would be to say that this is no different to how someone can see themselves as merely an observer of their life. In the same way that they are not having an effect on what does or doesn’t happen to them, their brain is also separate from everything else. When it comes to the former, this is typically something that takes place when one is out of touch with their body. With this in mind, it is also likely to show that when someone is on board with the latter, they are also out of touch with their body. Divided Someone like this is then going to be a human being, but they won’t be an integrated human being. If they were in touch with their body, they would see that they are not simply an observer of life. And, as they are not simply an observer of life, there is no way that the brain in their head could not be affected by life. But in order for someone to change the view that they have, they will need to get back in touch with themselves. The Cause If someone is stuck in their head and is out of touch with their body, it can show that they have experienced trauma. Not only will this have set them up to disconnect from themselves; it will also be playing a part in how they feel and the thoughts that they have. There may have been a time in their adult life when they experienced trauma, or they may have experienced trauma during their early years. As a result of a one of occurrence or a number of occurrences, they would have lost touch with themselves. The Enteric Nervous System Along with this, it would have most likely had a detrimental effect on the brain that is just above their stomach. When this brain is not in a good way, it will be a lot harder for someone to feel good and to experience inner peace. Thus, while it can be easy for someone to buy into the view that they are not having an effect on their life and their brain is just playing up, this doesn’t match up with reality. It is a view that can only make sense if someone is living on the surface of themselves. Conclusion There is no doubt that the drug industry loves the ‘chemical imbalance’ theory, as it is another way for them to make money. What this also does is keeps people dependent on authority figures for answers and stops them from looking within themselves for answers. The irony here is that the people who promote this view are, even if they wear a white coat, likely to be completely out of touch with themselves. In light of this, if someone is not in a good way, it will be a good idea for them to find a therapist or a healer who can help them to heal their trauma.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
Over the years, more and more people have turned their back on meat and other animal based by-products. In the past, it was often a rare occurrence to come across someone who lives in this way, but nowadays, it can be a regular occurrence.
What has unboundedly played a part in all this is the internet, with this being something that has allowed people to get their hands on more information; information that they wouldn’t have come across otherwise. This relates to how some animals are treated and the numerous alternatives that are available. Plenty of Choice Another big factor in all this is that most supermarkets now offer a number of different alternatives to meat. So, even if someone doesn’t eat met, they will still be able to find plenty of things to eat. And, even if there are not a lot of options available when they go shopping, they can simply go online and find a recipe. Living in this way can be a challenge in the beginning but after a little while, it can be no problem whatsoever. A Personal Choice If someone is a vegetarian, they may find that they feel the need to try to change people who eat meat. Then again, they may believe that it is not up to them to stop people from eating meat. This could be seen as something that would cause them to cross other people’s boundaries, causing them to come across as some kind of tyrant. Yet, if they are asked to talk about why they have chosen to live in this way or if another person if thinking of becoming a vegetarian, they might be happy to share their thoughts. Another Approach If, on the other hand, one does feel the need to try to convert other meat eaters, they might not come across as being holier-than-thou. Consequently, it will be a lot easier for them to get through to people. Perhaps they realise that the only way they will be able to get someone to change their eating habits is if they are willing to put themselves in their shoes and to treat them with respect. If they don’t go this, it could be clear to them that other people will just shut down and/or walk away. The Other Extreme But if one doesn’t keep this part of them to themselves and neither do they share it with others in a respectful manner, they could come across as self-righteous. Due to how they live their life, they are going to be better than people who eat meat. Thus, unlike these ‘sinners’, they will be doing the right thing. There may be people in their life who have the same outlook, with these people being just as intolerant towards those who live differently. Self-Sabotage Someone like this will have the aim to change the world, yet they will be trying to do it in the wrong way. Their behaviour is just going to create more resistance between them and those who do eat meat. Additionally, they will add even more weight to the view that some people have that vegetarians are a bit odd or crazy. They won’t have been able to rise above how they feel and to think about the effect that their behaviour has on others. A Defence What someone like this could find - that’s if they were to get in touch with how they feel - is that their sense of superiority is a way for them to avoid feeling worthless. Presenting themselves as being better than the people who eat meat is then just going to be a mask that they wear; a way for them to displace their own self-hate onto others. This could even mean that if it wasn’t for how they feel deep down, they wouldn’t even be a vegetarian. Someone like could buy into whatever cause is currently in vogue, having very little concern about the issue itself. A Strange Situation If someone doesn’t eat meat, this might not change if they are drunk; whereas if someone else doesn’t eat meat, they could end up eating meat if they were to get drunk. When it relates to the latter, they could find that they have the tendency to eat something that contains meat whenever they have a certain amount to drink. What they could find, once they have sobered up, is that they end up being consumed by guilt and even shame. They could end up feeling completely baffled by what has taken place and vow to never do it again, only for the same thing to happen next time they get drunk. Inner Conflict One way of looking at this would be to say that this is simply what happens when someone’s mind is in conflict with their body and that, when they are drunk, their mind settles down, thereby allowing their body to take over. This is then no different to how someone can have the inclination to deny their sexual nature in their day to-day life and then, when they have a few drinks, they become extremely sexual. When it comes to the latter, one may have been conditioned to believe that sex was bad during their early years, but when it relates to the former, the conflict within them could be due to the conditioning that they have received throughout their adult life. In this case, it could show that one has been eating with their mind and not their body. Out of Touch It has been said that if someone has a good connection with their body, they will know what they need to eat. The trouble is that if someone has been conditioned to eat certain things and to avoid other things, they will ignore their own inner guidance. Naturally, if someone is eating with their brain, which means eating the so-called ‘good' things and avoiding the ‘bad’ things, they could be doing more harm than good. Their body will know what they need to eat, yet their mind will only want them to eat what other people have told them they should eat. Conclusion This is then similar to someone putting water in their car instead of petrol and then wondering why it won’t work. The key will be for them to put their mind to one side and to listen to their body. If they don’t eat something because it would cause them to feel guilty, they could be starving their body of what it needs to work properly. The main problem is then not going to be eating a certain type of food; it will be the conditioning that they have absorbed over the years.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
In the same way that there are a number of reasons as to why someone would want to eat something, there are also a number of reasons as to why someone would want to have a relationship. If someone wants to eat something, it could simply show that they are hungry.
Then again, it could also show that it is that time of the day when they usually eat or that they feel down, for instance. In these cases, it is not going to be essential for them to eat anything. Many Uses Consequently, it wouldn’t be right to say that food only serves one purpose. This is something that is widely understood in today’s society; with numerous companies selling food that is designed to make people feel better. It is then not their aim is to give people what they need to stay alive; their aim is to improve people’s mental and emotional wellbeing. Chocolate is one of the things that some people often reach out for to change how they feel. The Other Example When someone wants a relationship, it could show that they feel the need to connect to another human being. At the same time, it could show that they are trying to avoid how they feel. Due to this, their main priority is not going to be to connect to another human being. In fact, it might be accurate to say that connecting to another person is the last thing on their mind. In A Bad Place If one was able to step back and to reflect on what is taking place for them, they may find that don’t feel good about themselves. Along with this, they may often feel lonely and as though they are not connected to anything. These different parts are then going to be what give them the drive to find another person. As a result of how low they usually feel in their day-to-day life, they might not be too picky. The Perfect Match In a way, they will be sending out the message that they need to be saved, and this may cause them to attract someone who comes across as capable and having it altogether. This person can end up trying to save them; doing just about everything they can to make them feel better. The person who they ended up most likely won’t have been looking for someone to connect with either; what they will have been looking for is someone to fix. Before they met them, they may have also felt down. A Different Need Conversely, someone could feel incapable and doubt their own worth, giving them the desire to find someone to rescue. So, unlike the example above, they will be the one who wants to fix another person. Being with another person is the not going to be a way for them to experience intimacy; it will be a way for them to experience a sense of worth and power. In this example and the example above, it is not going to be possible for someone to fully show up and to reveal their true-self. Built On Sand Like a house that is not built on firm foundations, a relationship like this is probably not going to stand the test of time. If someone is only with another person because they feel down and lonely, they might soon lose interest once they feel better. They will no longer be the same person, causing them to have a different set of needs. On the other hand, if someone is only with another person because they need to be saved, they could lose interest if this person was to get it together. A Social Prop Another thing that can take place, when someone doesn’t feel comfortable in their own skin, is that they can end up being drawn to someone who looks good. Having this person in their life is then going to be a way for them to receive the love from others (strangers) that they lack within themselves. This person is going to be no different to a flashy car or an item of clothing; they will be there to make them look good. Ultimately, what other people think about them is going to be far more important than what they think about themselves, which is a natural consequence of them being out of touch with their inherent worth. Avoidance One way of looking at each of these examples would be to say that this is what happens when someone is not ready to have a relationship with another person. For one thing, they haven’t got a healthy relationship with themselves. They are using another person to change how they feel, and this will most likely stop them from being interested in actually having a relationship. One false-self can be trying to have a relationship with another false-self, something that could result in one person playing the role of the child and another playing the role of the parent. How to Know? Taking all this into account, it could be said that there will need to be a number of things in place before one is ready to have a relationship. Feeling comfortable in their own skin and feeling whole and complete will be vital, which means that they won’t need another person to complete them or to feel good about themselves. Having a fulfilling life will also help, as this will stop them from needing another person to make them happy. When they experience life in this way they might not even have the need to be in a relationship and this can show that they are ready to have one. Awareness Their attachment to finding someone will have greatly decreased, making it easier for them to end up with someone who right for them. Their life will be fulfilling, so there will be no need for them to compromise and to let anyone into their life. If someone finds that they don’t feel good about themselves or feels empty, for instance, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk |
Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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